49ers Player Non-Retirement News

Aldon Smith pulled off a criminal hat trick last night: DUI, hit and run, vandalism.

What an asshole.

h/t WWL: http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/13393290/aldon-smith-san-francisco-49ers-arrested-hit-run-dui?ex_cid=espntw

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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BrettFavresColonoscopy
BrettFavresColonoscopy
BFC is a Chicago native transplanted to our nation's capital and transplanted again to the mountain West. He enjoys football, whisky, and the oxford comma.
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Senor WeaseloCovalent Blondemonty this seems strange to meblaxabbathDarkest Timeline Zack Morris Recent comment authors
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Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

I seem to remember hearing one of the ‘9ers brass mention recently that they were working on a contract extension for Smith. That’s gotta hurt, Aldon. Oof.

http://41.media.tumblr.com/50f63677357b56b772cf20ea30fb75ea/tumblr_nj9w46T7HJ1syvjuco1_500.jpg

ballsofsteelandfury

This needs to be a recurring feature. Someone needs to do a post re-setting the counter.

Covalent Blonde

Yes, yes it does, however, it needn’t be limited to Niners players, please.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wouldn’t it be “Today’s arrest is: ___________”

If we didn’t somehow happen to have a professional sport figure we could include Hollywood.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ve seen this…… somewhere before……… can’t quite………. place it….

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Screw the Browns or Texans. How much of an absolute dumpster fire is SF gonna be this year? Seriously.

On a less serious note. Greetings Kommentariat! Been a lurker for a couple years and the death of KSK made me want to join this budding community. How the fuck ya doin’ boys?

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Welcome aboard!

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

On a side note, I’m also a graphic designer so if anyone needs Photoshop work done for a post I’m glad to help.

Covalent Blonde

I will tell you right now that if you can do a quick mock up Stalin wearing a Bronco’s cap Komrade Hippo would rename one of his daughter’s after you.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

You have no idea what you’re getting into. But AWESOME.

laserguru

Damn glad to have you.
Grab a brew. Don’t cost nuthin’.

Covalent Blonde

Oh, hey! I didn’t see you come in. Every time the door opens the light there, well the light it hurts my eyes. Please, have a seat. I’d love to give you a tour and show you around, but I’m, ha, you know. I’m just real busy over here in this dark, spider-infested corner beneath these cardboard boxes.

/Returns to slicing all of her her Niners paraphernalia into rope to make a noose
//Throws computer with her drafts for her season preview for SF out the window

Covalent Blonde

///Is also working on a draft of the Browns season preview

sunrisesunrise

Can you just post them under a “Guess the team” type game? Like which team will have the worse season? Who will give up the most points/sacks to the opposing defense?

/At least SF knows who their QB is going to be.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Cove; for your preview wearing one of these will get you in the right place mascot and “dogpound” wise.

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Senor Weaselo

Niners AND Browns previews? I didn’t know you were a masochist.

monty this seems strange to me

Also, be careful upstairs because Joe Montana is masturbating up there.

blaxabbath

*SPOILER ALERT* Because no one really cares about the Cardinals, ripping on the 49ers is going to anchor my Buzzsaw season preview.

Covalent Blonde
WCS

Never trust anyone from Missouri.

Cuntler

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makeitsnowondem

Man, I just hate the way the cops racially profile Vandals.

sunrisesunrise

He went to school in Idaho?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

I fixed the link for ya. Also, excellent use of the h/t. Perfect.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sweet, now it the linkyist.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Covalent Blonde

Yes. But a hatrick.

Duchess

Rushed for time if I had Photoshop I would have croudly added Aldons head to the car in the banner pic. Feel free to change folks

jjfozz

In bewzbawl werld they would say, “He touched all the bazez.”

Whatever in fuck that means.

makeitsnowondem

Did somebody say boozeball?

— Aldon Smith

makeitsnowondem

I thought the criminal hat trick was Kaepernick’s thing.

trollsoharduniversity

You have the right to remain 7ilent

Cuntler

Or the Pouncey brothers.