Your Faux-Existential Monday Night Thread

Everywhere you turn around these days it seems like things are going to shit. Whether it’s be-headings abroad or mass shootings here or government officials telling outright lies and not being called on it or hell, not getting that raise you were promised-don’t you think it would be nice to have some semblance of order? I’m not talking law and order, I’m just saying things should occasionally make a little sense. “But scotchnaut”, you interrupted before I was finished my thought-“the world is full of grey areas, there are no absolutes.” Sure, I get that and I’m with you most of the time but it would be nice if things were simpler, just for a bit. I’m not asking for ball-jarring change either. Let’s start off small-say, I don’t know…hmm, what about a Giants victory tonight? A win would separate them from the Eagles, a loss would send the NFC East into a chaotic jumble of two 3-3 teams followed by  a 2-3 team. More messiness for you, me and the world to deal with. Embrace Clarity. Go Giants!

NYG @ Phi: Eli has been a whole ‘nutella QB so far this year. He’s got the 10 TD’s with only 2 picks (though he could regress in a heartbeat and add 3 to the total tonight) and due to some very solid play from O-linemen Pugh, Richburg and Schwartz he’s only been sacked 4 times. Red zone-wise the Giants grade out at 29th in the league. (I read that Coughlin calls it the green zone because ‘green means go’ and of course the lawn thing). The three-headed mediocrity of Vereen, Jennings and Williams aren’t doing the running game any favours, Beckham is hamstringed by a leg injury as is Randle plus Kennard and Prince are out. The Eagles have taken 10 of the last 13 from NY but DeMarco does have a putrid 2.7 ypc and Matthews is out. If it falls on Bradford I’ll take my chances.

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makeitsnowondem

Carroll just knocked over Eli’s sandcastle.

blordinaryfagicmox

The game looks like a sellout, there must not be a Monday night showing of this:
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JustStopDude

Hi I’m Peyton Manning and I have Direct TV.

And I am Eli Manning and I throw pick sixes…hey wait a minute…so do you bro! AND I GOT MORE RINGS! FUCKING YOU I’M NOT TAKING THIS ANYMORE!

/Eli gets wedgied by Peyton.

Redshirt

With the way Eli is passing, the Eagles should probably just punt the ball on 1st down.

WhyEaglesWhy

Plus, if they punt on first down, they’ll have better field position to punt than if they wait til fourth down.

WCS

Someone’s not getting his halftime Yoohoo.

Gratliff

Fuck yes. Waking my kid up like a lunatic is the best way to enjoy primetime games.

Doktor Zymm

So….6 wins takes the NFC East this year?

litre_cola

So you are saying there’s a chance.

Spur

So your’re saying we have a chance? – Cowboys

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

TD!

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Dick E. Phuck

[Fart Noises]

WhyEaglesWhy

THIS ELI MANNING, I CALL HIM COKE BECAUSE I MUCH PREFER THE CLASSIC TO THE NEW.

JustStopDude

Wait…you holding?

I mean I could just use a bump…

Sill Bimmons

oh wow

Sharkbait

Who had Manning throwing 3 picks? Scotch?

Gratliff

AFLKJALFJADS :FDLKAJFA:OICAYE EY:ES

litre_cola

There is actually three parties in our election.

Dick E. Phuck

Kiko Alonso and Mychal Kendricks and both out!?
Surprising!

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Anyone else just waiting for tomorrow to see the new Star Wars trailer so they don’t have to hear berman

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Punt! Still watching but hating every second of it. I had Get Schwifty on repeat that whole drive to be honest.

http://static2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/Yes+_94ae1e4f65f14c8f73b9bf31f414b7ef.gif

Spur

Is this the official Star Wars trailer thread? That is one thing I miss about our old stomping grounds, the cross posting in warming glow and film drunk.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Maybe I miss film drunk, warming glow fuck no.

Gratliff

Hate Crimin’

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Cullen Jenkins sighting!

Old School Zero

My slow cooker’s been on for 11 hours with a couple of pork shoulder pieces, some smoked andouille sausage, some root veggies, and a bit of mirepoix/roux. Maybe ten minutes to go. This is going to be good.

Sharkbait

I’ll be over in 10.

Old School Zero

Bring beer.

blaxabbath

You can mix stuff like that?

Old School Zero

Yup. Sort of pot-roast theory.

blordinaryfagicmox
Dick E. Phuck

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Spur

Evening folks. A pox on both your houses!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Old School Zero

Mine too?

blordinaryfagicmox

I bite my thumb at thee!

Old School Zero

Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Killdrive strikes a-waitaminute…

Sharkbait

That didn’t look very good Giants.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gotta love stretch plays on 4th and 1.

bourb0nblues

TULO BOMB

WhyEaglesWhy

Why would you call such a slow developing run there?

blordinaryfagicmox

Sometimes I think of the biggest athlete-douche I can remember from high school, and realize that every player on every pro sports is 100 times worse than him. Then I understand why athletes get arrested for dumb shit or even commit dumbass penalties.

blaxabbath

It’s so hard for me to comprehend pro athletes caring about ‘respect’ with some of these dumb penalties?

“Oh, he tackled me hard and called me a bitch? I NEED TO GO WHACK HIS HELMET AND KNOCK US OUT OF FG RANGE BECAUSE ‘RESPECT!'”

Gratliff

FUCK YO RUN BITCH

Brick Meathook
WhyEaglesWhy

How did you get a camera in my window?

blaxabbath

unattractive.

Flintstone?

John Difool

It’s what Tom Coughlin and his clan used to start fires to cook with.

John Difool

Riley Cooper promptly ran to the nearest restroom sink to scrub that injun taint off of his hands.

Dick E. Phuck

“He’s part gook too. In fact, the football kind of smelled like fish heads?”

blaxabbath

Can we immediately make this banner quote?

DFO needs some controversy media attention.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Riley Cooper TD! Still don’t care. Going with Aisha Tyler as the pic after the White Power Down.

http://www.barnorama.com/wp-content/images/2012/03/aisha-tyler/07-aisha-tyler.jpg

Sharkbait

Danger Zone

Doktor Zymm

Riley Cooper’s career will end when he’s mauled by a horde of belligerent attendees of the Hard of Hearing Knitters’ Convention

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

I’m shocked that Cooper’s face doesn’t match the clothes.

WCS

I’d rather be deaf than listen to Colin Cowherd.

litre_cola

Iggles, Dirt Argos playing the Dirt Chiefs, cdn election. Its all happening way too fast.

Sharkbait

RAYCESSDOWN

Dick E. Phuck

What killed the dinosaurs?

Dick E. Phuck

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Why Thank You Eddie

*strums on guitar* Ohhh Tim Tebowwww. Oh Tim Tebowww. Tebowww. Jesus. That’s all I got.

Dick E. Phuck

WHITEPOWERDOWN

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Made the same lame joke but slower because I looked for a pic first. I feel bad now.

Sill Bimmons

Dropped him this week.

Wouldn’t have mattered.

Gratliff

DAT’S RAYCESS

NC 2A?

blordinaryfagicmox

Philly fan, “2A’s are good, but D’s fly farther.”