It’s very relaxing to have your team on bye. There is no worry about “do I need to brave the indignities of the outside world to get a satellite feed or white knuckle it with GameCast and RedZone?” I don’t have to make sure all my Donks gameday wear is clean and ready (along with alternate clothing options in case of beer spillage and/or bad juju). Nay, I am free to eschew navy and orange in their entirety, going all black in solidarity for the Carolina Black Panthers. Onwards to 3/5 of the MVP award, young man! /heard outside Jerry Richardson’s office

Of course the P*ts looked like the second-best team for most of the game today, but pulled away in the 4th quarter anyway. Equally unsurprising, a conversion on 3rd and 17 against a very soft zone proved to be the dagger in the J-E-T-S hopes hopes hopes. Gonna be up to the Donks to cripple and/or kill Dreamboat, and Week 12 is a loooooong way away, folks. Thank fuck I listen to exactly zero sports talk radio.

That was the only game that pitted two winning teams this weird Sunday, so one has to dig a little deeper to find meaning.

I’m impressed by the Vikings. It looked like maybe Detroit was inching its way back closer to respectability, but Minny put the kibosh on that talk. Teddy Ballgame has a playmaker now, and not coincidentally, is making that Great Leap Forward. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Stefon Diggs. And hope you picked him up on waivers, as I did in both my money league, and 20-team make it snow DFO league. He reminds me a fuckton of Keenan Allen.

The Stillers moved in the other direction, as Landry Jones turned back into Landry Jones. Hat tip to DFO’s Yinzers for pointing out Boss Todd’s tendency to prove his room temperature IQ is tops in the room, by going away from Le’Veon and his elite WRs in key situations, often by using 2-back sets to get the fairly useless DeAngelo Williams on the field.

Doopy Pantz doesn’t have the DFW metroplex derp monopoly, as CasselVANIA won several fantasy matchups for Giants D/ST owners. The Pokes are now in dead fucking last at 2-4, and already fighting on the sidelines. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. The Giants could easily be 7-0 if not for being their own worst enemy. But they got their backs up at the right times today, and you have to admire how they keep fighting back.

It’s not an illusion (or something that a whore does for money)…the Oakland Raiders are a GOOD FOOTBALL TEAM. No, they are not GREAT. But GOOD? Fuck and yes. Derek Carr is at least a B+ caliber QB, and Amari Cooper is an absolute stud. I see them as the 2nd wildcard, still.

Speaking of teams on the rise from the long-dead…the Rams are completely different with Todd Gurley beasting all over the NFL. And yes, I laughed at this pick when they made it. A tailback at #10 overall in today’s NFL? Coming off a severe ACL tear?? St. Louis gambled on monster fucking upside and came up with vintage Eric Dickerson. Also looking like a strong wilcard candidate, though might be hard to pass Minny and Atlanta (though the Falcons really aren’t any good at all).

That Falcons/Titans game…Christ a-mighty. I pity anyone who sat through that piece of shit.

Miami should bring in Joe Philbin every Monday morning and fire his Skeletor-lookin’ ass again. You know, just in case. Still, let’s not go sucking their pricks quite yet. They play a real team on Thursday.

And last, but not least…Cam most certainly does not have an MVP night, but the Iggles are who we thought they were. Chip Kelly still needs a manzierre. Panthers join the Bengals, P*ts, Donks, and Packers at 6-0.