The Calm Before the JV NFL Storm

With European footy on another goddamned international break, it’s up to the JV ranks to carry us through this mid-November Saturday. And we are kind of in-between the mega-showdown weeks. Last week had some yuuuuuuuge matchups, and the next two (including the extended Thanksgiving smorgasboard) will be pretty incredible. More of a setup vibe this week, though there is some intrigue later in the evening.

NC State at Florida State (12:30, ACC Network)

Really not happy with this TV coverage, especially with WESTERN FUCKING CAROLINA at TAMU getting national coverage at 7 (ESPNU). Even if WCU is likely where my oldest is going to college. Anyway, I actually like the odds of my wolven sort here, as Florida State is essentially playing without a QB, and the secondary is NC State’s weak point. The Noles also have nothing to play for, and the Wolfpack have been much better on the road (and historically have been something of a bogey side for FSU). Vegas’ line reflects this, with FSU opening as only a 9.5 point favourite.

Alabama at Mississippi State (3:30, CBS)

Don’t put Saban in the playoffs just yet. The Cowbells will not be an easy out, especially in Starkville (where LSU narowly escaped on a last-second FG miss in September). A loss puts the Mad Hatter back in the driver’s seat in the SEC West, and joy in the hearts of the unaffiliated masses nationwide.

Memphis at Houston (7:00, ESPN2)

This game was totes more interesting before Memphis got ass blasted by Navy. George Carlin: “As they say in the U.S. Navy, ‘There is no wrong hole!'”

Arkansas at LSU (7:15, ESPN)

That said, the Bayou Bengals are walking into a trap of their own. Yes, it’s Death Valley at night, but Johnny Reb learned the hard way about how much Pig Sooey has improved over the course of the season (as they seemingly always do). But this season, the program has developed enough that Arkansas is a legitimate threat to the powers-that-be, even on the road. I am quite sad this fixture is no longer on the traditional Friday after Thanksgiving, when it was often entertaining as fuck even when it looked like a mismatch on paper. Boo, schedule makers.

Oregon at Stanford (7:30, Fox)

Contrasting styles, potential shootout, Gus Johnson and Molly McGrath (gun show as pictured above). What more do you fuckers want? Oh yeah, Stanford can clinch a berth in the Pac 12 title game, and a chance to force a “winner takes playoff berth” matchup there against Utah, assuming they can derail the assholes of Notre Dame.

BYU vs. Missouri (7:30, SEC Network)

Highlighted for all sorts of uncomfortable racialism.

Oklahoma at Baylor (8:00, ABC)

See, one’s remote will get quite the late workout. Tricky matchup for BayBay, after a less than impressive showing with the new QB against the Fightin’ Undead Bill Snyders. Bloodeyes’ loss to Okie State has me skeptical we will see an unbeaten Big 12 team, which is too bad, as this entertaining, unorthodox league should have a playoff entrant. And not the fucking Big 10.

Washington State at UCLA (10:45, ESPN)

Hey, this is kinda late even for the Westies! For everyone else, your DVR/tweaker game o’ the week. Again, set it for 2 hours past the scheduled end time, in case of shenanigans.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Porky Prime

Night all. Sleep well, and dream of large women. Or tiny men; I don’t judge.
http://cdn.teen.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/kirby-inhaling-food.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I will inevitably have that same dream again:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXmyAxHwdPI

Croooow

Holy Shit! This Washington State-UCLA game!

Porky Prime

Sadly, this may qualify as the greatest day in New Mexico sports history.

Okay, state history.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Croooow

Good God, the playcalling in this Boise State drive is horrible.

Croooow

And New Mexico just committed a PI penalty on a 4th and 21. Wow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, this is NSFW, so sensual, so much penetration.

blackroseMD1

I’ll be in my bunk.

WCS

DickRod’s Wildcats beat #10 Utah, and yet, no one will be pepper sprayed. I want my money back for 2003.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Porky Prime
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Porky Prime

YOUR BALL STRUCK MY FOOT.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

I said GOD DAMN that was a nice catch, Arizona.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Porky Prime

Whattafuck just happened? NM-Boise was tied like a minute ago now theyre up 2 scores?

New Mexico, America’s spleen, having a banner sports day???

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WCS

No TV and no beer make Bob Davie something something.

Porky Prime

Oh, there’s a shit ton of beer here, as our DWI-happy gendarmes can attest.

Actually, call me biased, but I think New Mexico is a savagely underrated beer state. There’s a new brewpub opening like every month and it’s generally pretty good stuff.

Porky Prime

If New Mexico upsets Boise on top of the Holm win the entire state may overdose on green chile stew and microbrew.

WCS

Bob Davie will buy ALL the team trips to TJ on Monday.

Porky Prime

I’m a transplant from LA so I can’t pretend this is a defining moment as a native New Mexican. Still, even though I watched a choppy feed on my Kindle, it was pretty much the most excitement I’ve ever gotten out of a UFC fight. The shadenfreude was flowing like wine.

blordinaryfagicmox

Ronda Rousey lost? Who am I supposed to masturbate to now?

WCS

I’m sure Moose and/or Martin will have some suggestions…

Porky Prime

Or, I’m sure Moose and Martin.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

ON the bus.

Croooow

Boise State’s field makes my eyes hurt.

blordinaryfagicmox

Another Peyton enters the mix

WCS

Orange Cat continues to chase her tail in circles until she’s too dizzy to continue, stops, and does it again. Can’t wait to find a pool of dried puke when I wake up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

My cat is acting all horny and shit.
She’s spayed, but still. She’s looking at me funny.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HEY! Where’s my pencil?!?!?

WCS

As an alum of a Big 12 school who wants the conference to get a playoff berth, FUCK BAYLOR.

Croooow

I’d love to see TCU find a way back in, I thought they got jobbed last year.

WCS

Losing Boykin and Doctson isn’t going to help. That said, they still have Oklahoma and Baylor to play. Weirder things have happened.

[has flashback to 2007 season when everyone lost]
[[remembers 13-9]]
[[[has thousand yard stare for 20 minutes]]]

blordinaryfagicmox

Baker v Mayfield sounds like the name of a supreme court case, the precedent of which I don’t quite remember but was probably related to tariffs.

Bloody Lethal

Might I say that this banner pic just doesn’t quit!

WCS

That’ll do, Sooners. That’ll do.

Croooow

Floyd of Rosedale is one of my favorite rivalry trophies out there.

WCS

Peak B1G

blordinaryfagicmox

From wikipedia:
To lighten the mood, Minnesota Governor Floyd Olson sent a telegram to Governor Herring on game-day morning, which read, “Dear Clyde, Minnesota folks excited over your statement about the Iowa crowd lynching the Minnesota football team. I have assured them that you are a law-abiding gentleman and are only trying to get our goat. The Minnesota team will tackle clean, but, oh! how hard, Clyde. If you seriously think Iowa has any chance to win, I will bet you a Minnesota prize hog against an Iowa prize hog that Minnesota wins today. The loser must deliver the hog in person to the winner. Accept my bet thru a reporter. You are getting odds because Minnesota raises better hogs than Iowa. My best personal regards and condolences.”[3]

blordinaryfagicmox

The hog’s name was Floyd, presumably from Rosedale

WCS

“Jerry from Dubuque” doesn’t have the same ring.

WCS

Andy Reid LOVES Bob Stoops’ use of timeouts.

blordinaryfagicmox

Baker-Mayfield sounds like the name of a company whose stock price is more than I make in a year.

WCS

I thought they made aerospace technology?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Military-Industrial?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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blordinaryfagicmox
WCS

Meryl Streep is jealous of Baylor’s acting skill.

WCS

HAIL BLEERGH

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Interesting defensive strategery of one DB on two receivers from Oklahoma.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh