DFO, money comes in

I had a bad week, but nowhere as bad as our good King Hippo who had an o-fer that put him back below the original stakes.  Well, it was nice while it lasted.  He also has more money than I do, as I only picked one out of three correct to drop further down.  DTZM’s strategy of staying pat may pay off at the end… WhyEaglesWhy, on the other hand, was one weird MNF game away from a perfect week.  He now takes a commanding lead in the plus column. Onward!

Balls of Steel

I like Cam Newton.  I like the Carolina Panthers.  I want them to go undefeated and win the Super Bowl.  I also want to have a private island where I can swim naked in warm waters with a beautiful blonde by my side.  None of these things will happen.  Carolina has been struggling more and more to win games.  Atlanta has completely fucked a great start and is reeling.

Take the Falcons plus 7.5.  Stakes: $33 to win $30

WhyEaglesWhy

I went 4 for 5 last week, so I shudder to think how this week will go. Still, I have some games I REALLY like this week, and I’m confident I can put some distance between myself and my esteemed colleagues.

Steelers +2.5 over BENGALS – The Steelers are taking fools to school, and I’m not convinced that the Bengals aren’t capable of Bengaling in the home stretch. Stakes: $11 to win $10.

Lions PK over RAMS – I don’t understand this line. I think it ascribes far too much importance to the manner in which the Lions lost last week. This is a team that has won four out of their last 5 and played competitively in the loss against a good team. And then there are the Rams. Stakes: $11 to win $10.

Patriots -3 over TEXANS – If the Patriots lose another game, this will be Kraft, Belichick, and Brady:

faces

They won’t. Stakes: $33 to win $30.

DTZM

S stands for Still not picking?  :-O!

King Hippo

Fuck it, being back to sucking is tones of home. Because as you well know by now, I SUCK AT ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ON THIS GOD FORSAKEN PLANET.

Vikings +8.5 over CARDINALS. Classic buy low here. Arizona is not generally a blowout kind of team, and I think Minny will get their shit back together for this one. This is likely to be running back-dominated, with David Johnson hopefully getting one more than Purple Jesus. BUT ONLY ONE so I get the imaginary cover. Bet $33 to win $30.

[*Redacted] s +3 over BEARS. What can I say? I BELIEVE IN THE HEALING POWER OF DOKTOR ZYMM’s live support, love, and/or threatened rage for the Redacteds. They not only cover, but also win outright. Bet $22 to win $20.

JAGURAS pick ’em over Colts. Because I’m mad at Indy, and maybe just because I miss the Team of Destiny moniker. Maybe next year, Bort and palz. Bet $22 to win $20.

Giants -1 over DOLPHINS. So I have a reason to watch this ass rash of a primetime game. Bet $11 to win $10.

Updated tables:

Name Balls of Steel Initial Bankroll: 200

Pick # Favorite Underdog Line Wager Winner? Winnings Bankroll Balance
1 San Diego
Detroit 3 11 Y 10.00 210.00
2 Minnesota San Francisco 2.5 11 N -11.00 199.00
3 Tennessee Cleveland 1 11 N -11.00 188.00
4 Philadelphia Dallas 5.5 11 Y 10.00 198.00
5 NY Jets Philly 2.5 11 Y 10.00 208.00
6 Indianapolis Tennessee 3 11 Y 10.00 218.00
7 Oakland Chicago 3 11 N -11.00 207.00
8 Buffalo Tennessee 2.5 11  Y 10.00 217.00
9 Kansas City Chicago 9 11  Y 10.00 227.00
10 Green Bay St. Louis 9 11  N -11.00 216.00
11  St. Louis Cleveland 5.5 11 N -11.00 205.00
12 Arizona Baltimore 7.5 11 N -11.00 194.00
13 New England Miami 8 11 N -11.00 183.00
14 Kansas City Detroit 5 11 N -11.00 172.00
15 Minnesota Chicago 1.5 11 Y 10.00 182.00
16 Pittsburgh Oakland 4 22  Y 20.00 202.00
17 Washington New Orleans PK 11  N -11.00 191.00
18 New England NY Giants 7 11 Y 10.00 201.00
19 Miami Dallas PK 11 Y 10.00 211.00
20 Seattle San Francisco 12.5 11 N -11.00 200.00
21 New England Buffalo 7 11 PUSH 0 200.00
22 New England Denver 3 55  N -55.00 145.00
23 NY Jets NY Giants 2.5 11  N -11.00 134.00
24 Miami Baltimore 4 11 Y 10.00 144.00
25 Buffalo Houston 3 11 N -11.00 133.00
26 Carolina Atlanta 7.5 33 -33.00 100.00

Name WhyEaglesWhy Initial Bankroll: 200

Pick # Favorite Underdog Line Wager Winner? Winnings Bankroll Balance
1 Denver Baltimore 4.5 11 N -11.00 189.00
2 Houston Kansas City 1 11 Y 10.00 199.00
3 Carolina Houston 3 11 N -11.00 188.00
4 NY Giants Atlanta 3 11 Y 10.00 198.00
5 Philadelphia Dallas 5.5 11 Y 10.00 208.00
6 Cleveland Oakland 3.5 11 Y 10.00 218.00
7 Miami Buffalo 3 11 Y 10.00 228.00
8 Oakland Chicago 3 11 N -11.00 217.00
9 Philadelphia New Orleans 4.5 11  N -11.00 206.00
10 Arizona Detroit 2.5 22 Y 20.00 226.00
11 Houston Indianapolis 1 11 Y 10.00 236.00
12 New England Indianapolis 7.5 22  N -22.00 214.00
13 Philadelphia NY Giants 4.5 11 N -11.00 203.00
14 St. Louis Cleveland 5.5 11  N -11.00 192.00
15 Miami Houston 4 11  Y 10.00 202.00
16 Washington Tampa Bay 3 11  N -11.00 191.00
17 Kansas City Detroit 5 11  N -11.00 180.00
18 Minnesota Chicago 1.5 11 N -11.00 169.00
19 New Orleans NY Giants 3 11 Push 0 169.00
20 Pittsburgh Cincinnati PK 11  Y 10.00 179.00
21 Baltimore San Diego 3.5 11 Y 10.00 189.00
22 Atlanta San Francisco 7 11 N -11.00 178.00
23 New York Giants Tampa Bay 2.5 11 Y 10.00 188.00
24 San Diego Chicago 4 11  Y 10.00 198.00
25 Oakland Minnesota 3 11  Y 10.00 208.00
26 Seattle Arizona 3 11  Y 10.00 218.00
27 Miami Dallas PK 22  Y 20.00 238.00
28 Washington Dallas 4.5 11  N -11.00 227.00
29 Denver San Diego 4 11  Y 10.00 237.00
30 Seattle Minnesota PK 11 Y 10.00 247.00
31 Tennessee Jacksonville 2.5 11 Y 10.00 257.00
32 New England Philadelphia 9.5 11  Y 10.00 267.00
33 Cincinnati Pittsburgh 2.5 11 -11.00 256.00
34 St. Louis Detroit PK 11 -11.00 245.00
35 New England Houston 3 33 -33.00 212.00

 

Name King Hippo Initial Bankroll: 200

Pick # Favorite Underdog Line Wager Winner? Winnings Bankroll Balance
1 Green Bay Chicago 7 22 N -22.00 178.00
2 Cincinnati Oakland 3 11 N -11.00 167.00
3 New England Buffalo 1 55 Y 50.00 217.00
4 New England Jacksonville 13.5 11 N -11.00 206.00
5 Seattle Chicago 14.5 11 N -11.00 195.00
6 Oakland Chicago 3 55 N -55.00 140.00
7 Atlanta Washington 7 22  Y 20.00 160.00
8 Tampa Bay Jacksonville 3 22  N -22.00 138.00
9 Denver Oakland 4.5 33  N -33.00 105.00
10 New England Indianapolis 7.5 44  N -44.00 61.00
11 Atlanta New Orleans 3.5 33 Y 30.00 91.00
12 Seattle Carolina 7 22  Y 20.00 111.00
13 Carolina Philadelphia 3 33  Y 30.00 141.00
14 Houston Tennessee 3 11  N -11.00 130.00
15 Seattle Dallas 6 11 Y 10.00 140.00
16 Atlanta Tampa Bay 7 11 Y 10.00 150.00
17 Kansas City Detroit 5 22 N -22.00 128.00
18 Pittsburgh Oakland 4 11 Y 10.00 138.00
19 Cincinnati Cleveland 11.5 11  N -11.00 127.00
20 Philadelphia Dallas 2.5 11  N -11.00 116.00
21  Baltimore Jacksonville 5.5 22  Y 20.00 136.00
22 Green Bay Detroit 11.5 33  N -33.00 103.00
23 Jacksonville Tennessee 3 33  Y 30.00 133.00
24 Atlanta Indianapolis 5.5 22 Y 20.00 153.00
25 New England Buffalo 7 33 PUSH 0.00 153.00
26 Dallas Carolina 1.5 153  Y 139.00 292.00
27 Seattle Minnesota PK 55  N -55.00 237.00
28 New England Philadelphia 9.5 22 N -22.00 215.00
29 New York Jets NY Giants 2.5 22 N -22.00 193.00
30 Pittsburgh Indianapolis 7 11 N -11.00 182.00
31 Arizona Minnesota 8.5 33 -33.00 149.00
32 Chicago Washington 3 22 -22.00 127.00
33 Indianapolis Jacksonville PK 22 -22.00 105.00
34 NY Giants Miami 1 11 -11.00 94.00

Name Darkest Timeline Zack Morris Initial Bankroll: 200

Pick # Favorite Underdog Line Wager Winner? Winnings Bankroll Balance
1 Seattle St. Louis 4.5 11 N -11.00 189.00
2 Denver Baltimore 4.5 11 N -11.00 178.00
3 Baltimore Oakland 5.5 11 N -11.00 167.00
4 New Orleans Tampa 5.5 11 N -11.00 156.00
5 Indianapolis Jacksonville 9 22 Y 20.00 176.00
6 Oakland Chicago 3 11 N -11.00 165.00
7 Cincinnati Kansas City 5.5 55 N -55 110.00
8 Buffalo NY Giants 4.5 22 Y 20 130.00
9 Kansas City Chicago 9 11 N -11.00 119.00
10 Cincinnati Seattle 3 11 PUSH 0 119.00
11 Seattle Carolina 7 11  Y 10 129.00
12 Arizona Pittsburgh 3 11  Y 10 139.00
13 Atlanta San Francisco 7 11 N  -11.00 128.00
14 Cincinnati Cleveland 11.5 11 Y 10.00 138.00
15 New Orleans Washington PK 55  N -55.00 83.00
16 Carolina Tennessee 5 11 Y 10.00 93.00
17 Philadelphia Tampa 5.5 11  Y 10.00 103.00
18 Chicago Denver 1 44 Y 40.00 143.00
 19
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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

Oh, no.

OH. NO.

I just got forwarded a link to an interview Amy Poehler did with…gulp…UPROXX.

I clicked on it so you don’t have to, and sure as shit, it’s a real goddamn interview.

I…I just don’t know how much more I can take…

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

Sill Bimmons

Fucking Pirates traded Neil Walker to the Mets.

They’re always going to be a Mickey Mouse franchise.

montythisseemsstrangetome

THIS KING HIPPO I CALL HIM WES WELKER BECAUSE HE APPEARS TO BE JUST GIVING MONEY AWAY.

Enrico Pallazzo

Carolina has been struggling more and more to win games.

I mean, yeah, last week was close but they literally murdered Romo and scalped the Skins the previous two games. Never forget that Matt Ryan is worse than Johnny Manziel.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You sound like a guy who has Matt Ryan on his fantasy team.

/as do I.

Enrico Pallazzo

I do not but I have Freeman on two and Julio on three so I am well aware of Ryan’s shittiness.

Enrico Pallazzo

Ppl forget that

I can’t wait for this venture to result in you guys opening a financial advisor firm.

“Well, the good news is that now you have a ton of capital losses to use as deductions…”

“And are you familiar with carryover losses? You’re set up for years to come!”

“Look, I realize now that it was a bad investment, but to be fair, I did call you at 3am and was most certainly drunk. So, really, it’s your fault for listening to me.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Historical loses are not a predictor of future loses.”

SonOfSpam

I guess Hippo is going reverse jinx on the Cards (NO ONE DENIES THIS), but I can’t see the Vikings slowing down Arizona at all without half their defense.

Parlay the Cardinals -8.5 with me drinking Over 6 beers tonight.

blaxabbath

I’m going to hedge this with an ARI/MIN under wager and some stock in whatever health insurers wrote the ACA.

Lothar of the Hill People

Never bet on the Lions. That’s going full retard.

montythisseemsstrangetome

But they’re playing the Rams. The resistible force vs. the movable object.

King Hippo

Yeah, methinks I am past the blonde phase of my existence. Though I am past the dating phase, period. NO MOAR high maintenance.

Oh, and I am at my local indie coffeeshop and for some reason their little eclectic music mix just spat out “Hollaback Girl” – THAT is how much the goddamned world hates me of late.

laserguru

Balls is speaking the absolute goddamn truth here.

And I still love redheads.

jjfozz

Lost my virginity to a redhead. Attracted to redheads. Dated a few.

The ones who aren’t outright squirrely are fun, because they will come out of left field with this absolutely unbelievable problem/idea/drama. Then you deal with it and admit that it makes life interesting.

Then you have sex. With a redhead. And that, my friends, is an A ticket ride.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Just because I have a refined taste in whiskey and beer doesn’t make me high maint– Oh, you were talking about women! …carry on.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The hairs is not as bad stuck between your teeth.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*hair

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m feeling alright about my picks being diametrically opposed to those here.

/prepares bankruptcy filing

blaxabbath

If the P*ts lose to Houston, it’s because Tawmmy from Quiznee chose….poorly.

http://earnthis.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/CGI-history-last-crusade2.jpg