Boxing Day is Here! EPL and More University Footy Exhibitions

For the uninitiated, the EPL always features a full slate of games on the day after Christmas, which the Brits call “Boxing Day.” This year, Boxing Day falls on a normal EPL Saturday, so everybody plays again on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday to give the fans the holiday deluge of games they are used to. English people are fucking weird. Everton plays a later game on Saturday, then turns around quickly for Stoke on Monday, so that lineup should be quite interesting indeed.

Good old Foxy Footy and Arsenal are running away and hiding from the pack at present. 5 of the last 6 sides in front at Christmas went on to win the League, just so you know. Leicester gets 9th place Liverpool (10:00, NBCSN) in the featured match of the early window. The Shite are the only team in the top half of the table with a negative goal differential, and hopefully Foxy Footy will add to that, and allow Everton to leapfrog their rivals with a draw (12:30 vs. Newcastle, NBCSN), since apparently a draw is the best fucking result the fucking Blues are fucking capable of anymore.

Arsenal square off against 12th place Southampton on big-boy NBC at 2:45, to finish Boxing Day. If Foxy Footy stumble, it could vault Wenger’s charges back into pole position. Should be a fun day.

Speaking of fun days, the JV exhibitions finally quit being dreadfully uninteresting…

St. Petersburg Bowl – Connecticut vs. Marshall (11:00, ESPN)

Wow, talk about cruel. Not only will it be brutally cold in the former USSR, the game will also be played at like 2 in the morning locally to accommodate the corporate paymasters at ESPN. Hopefully the vodka toasts from the welcome dinner won’t have worn off yet. Da, comrades?

Sun Bowl – Miami vs. Washington State (2:00, CBS)

Mike Leach’s new charges have been one of the more watchable late night/DVR sides I enjoyed from the past fall (despite the fashion risk uniforms), and I would expect them to shit all over a lousy “let’s just get this fucking season/trip to fucking El Paso over with” Hurricanes team.

Heart of Dallas Bowl – Washington vs. Southern Miss (2:20, ESPN)

I hope there’s an actual, still beating heart thrown on midfield at kickoff, like in that Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom video game I used to play at the 7-11 before junior high. I know fuck all about either of these teams.

Pinstripe Bowl – Indiana vs. Duke (3:30, ABC)

It’s awful cute how these schools think they really have football programs. NOTE to Duke – I’ve been to your goddamned stadium, you ain’t foolin’ this Hippo.

Independence Bowl – Tulsa vs. Virginia Tech (5:45, ESPN)

Won’t everyone please tune in to watch a 70-ish year old man receive a 210-ish minute blow job? It would be awfully funny if Tulsa won.

Tomsula Bum Fights Bowl – UCLA vs. Nebraska (9:15, ESPN)

FUCK YOU, I will NAWT list your goddamned corporate sponsor I don’t know what this inconcequential game used to be called. Silly match up between a reasonably good team that played its season finale for a berth in the Pac 12 title game, and a shitheap that is lucky to be 5-7 (I saw how that Sparty game ended). Ladies and gentlemen, D1-A FOOTBAW!!! BEST POST-SEASON IN THE WORLD, I TELLS YA!!!!

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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WCS

Finally, those long suffering Dook fans have something to cheer for.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
John Difool

This basketball game in Shreveport will do for now, until something more interesting comes on.

WCS

Overtime in the Pinstripe Bowl, 41-up.

WCS

The last school is the North Texas Mean Green, a C-USA team in Denton, TX.
http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/the_more_you_know_nbc.gif

entropy

Because carny folk were always trusted enough to feature in advertising.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Carny folk know their after-work gum!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

CAN NOT

http://41.media.tumblr.com/c73c739b5116674bf9bf4ea87de9e4e3/tumblr_nrdu6qj43w1sqf5tdo1_1280.jpg

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!!!

entropy

The real reason the T Rex was always so pissed off.

John Difool

He can’t even pick a boog…

entropy

Ah. I see now I was wrong. This game will feature no defense from Tulsa.

entropy

Aaaaand that lunch pail fucking cements it: fuck VT.

WCS

One team who’s nicknames don’t end with “s” is left.

We have:
Alabama Crimson Tide
Navy Midshipmen
Tulsa Golden Hurricane
NC State Wolkpack
Nevada Wolfpack
Stanford Cardinal
Marshall Stumbling Terd
Syracuse Orange
Tulane Green Wave
Notre Dame Fighting Irish
Illinois Fighting Illini

I originally said nine teams, there are twelve. I am dumb, and cannot count.

WCS

Two left. Here’s another hint: One plays in a Power Five conference, full of legends and leaders. The other plays in a conference which has several other of the schools already named.

WCS

This school used to be in the Sun Belt…

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s pronounced Wolpfack.
We pride ourselves on spelling.

WCS

I bet you do.

entropy

The Wolkpack? Is that “Group of people?”

JustStopDude

comment image

Cause I am off on a booty call…got to sprinkle some smack on my dick…try to get laid before I flee Baltimore again…

Go with the Gods gentlemen. May they quake in your wake!

theeWeeBabySeamus

If only I had a dollar for every time I’ve said that.

entropy

This game is going to feature zero defense, isn’t it?

John Difool

Well, that escalated quickly….

entropy

The ESPN crawl is drunk and repeating itself. Some asshole got to notice this soon.

WCS

Tulsa Golden Hurricane is one of nine college teams who’s name doesn’t end with an “s.” What are the other eight? Hint: One of them already played in a bowl today.

JustStopDude

Alabama Crimson OH MY FUCKING GOD THE WALLS ARE FUCKING BREATHING…wait TIDE…yeah Crimson Tide.

That has to be one of them.

entropy

Thundering Herd’s one

WCS

Four down, five to go.

WCS

Here’s another hint: Hippo and Entrophy had better get one.

theeWeeBabySeamus

C’mon Hippo!?!?!?!?!

NC State Wolfpack.

WCS

Er, I meant Seamus. Sorry, Entrophy. Unless you also went to NC State…

entropy

Nope.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No Problem.
I’m more worried that the Hippo is having a stroke.

WCS

Syracuse, yes. St. John’s doesn’t play football.

WCS

Well done. I incorrectly said nine, there are twelve. We have ten. Two to go.

JustStopDude

comment image

The scramble is starting to hit me hard…methinks I should not have uncluded LSD in this horiday mixes…

JustStopDude

Well…duh…

John Difool

So, that’s what the lead singer of Midnight Oil is up to now….

JustStopDude
theeWeeBabySeamus

Told ya to take Tulsa and the two touchdown lay.
Hokies gon get so fucked up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wait…never mind. 😉

JustStopDude

YAAAAAAAAY!!! My boy got back to me…
http://49.media.tumblr.com/9ec59b0fc8e6738709710b00e8aeb3d9/tumblr_njipao7G511siyfmdo1_500.gif

I must warn you…my posts may get weirder from this point on…

scotchnaut

End of Tombstone/

Wyatt: I’ve got nothing.

His Soon-To-Be Wife: So? My parents are filthy fucking rich. Did I not mention that earlier?

Wyatt: […] MOTHERFUCKER!

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO…I think that every damn time.

WCS

Pirate Mike Leach is going to lock soooooooooo many walk-ons in utility sheds tonight.

JustStopDude

Me waiting on my FUCKING DEALER TO GET THE FUCK BACK TO ME!!!!

http://i.imgur.com/8FTsSxU.gifv

ballsofsteelandfury

Worked out.

JustStopDude

I can’t be the only person getting fuck the torn up!!!

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

That is….disturbing.

JustStopDude

I seriously don’t get you fucking prudes…

John Difool

Started around 3 hrs. ago in an obvious futile attempt to numb the soul crushing experience that will be 8:25 p.m. at The Linc.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is………………..

UTTERLY impossible.

JustStopDude

Don’t have a cow man…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You are bovine ing the future….

theeWeeBabySeamus

I beg to differ, Sir.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That is the awesomest pool floaty toy ever.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh….I wasn’t quite as sick as I made out.

Oh shit….spoiler alert.

theeWeeBabySeamus

This is a great flick and all….but in retrospect, couldn’t they at least have had one goddamn scene with Dana Delany almost nekkid?

FFS!!!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

Have you ever seen Exit to Eden?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She voted for H.W. Bush in that movie.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I have not…shall I put it on the list?

ballsofsteelandfury

If you like seeing Dana Delany in skimpy outfits AND nekkid, yes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Done!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Warning; look at the rest of the cast and be prepared to FF.

ballsofsteelandfury

This is very good advice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

Factory original?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s crazy!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not entirely sure why, but I think I’ll apply for a Capital One card later….
http://i36.tinypic.com/9jn9zo.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice belt.