DFO, money comes in

And then there were three.  I am plumb out of money due to going on tilt and making some bad decisions.  Well, at least I didn’t end up naked in someone’s closet like last time…

And guess who has taken the lead?  King Hippo!  The King had a tremendous week while WhyEaglesWhy had about as good a week as Chip Kelly and drops to second.  DTZM maintains his smart strategy of not betting and remains in the game in third.  Good luck, boys!

WhyEaglesWhy

Balls was right; I had about as good a week as Chip Kelly. So I’m gonna do what Chip would do – double down on my insanity. If I’m gonna beat King Hippo I need to get a little crazy.

Jets -3 over BILLS – I do not believe there will be Jetsing. They’re too good, they need the game, and Buffalo doesn’t give a shit. Stakes: $33 to win $30.

Steelers -10.5 over BROWNS – I do, however, believe there will be Brownsing, especially with JFF nursing a bass drop-induced concussion. Plus, the Stillers REALLY need the game. Stakes: $22 to win $20.

CHIEFS -6.5 over Raiders – This is a LOT of points. But again, the Chefs need the game and they’re at home. Stakes: $11 to win $10.

Vikings +3 over PACKERS – The Packers can’t catch or protect Aaron Rodgers. I see the Vikings winning an ugly game. Stakes: $11 to win $10

 

DTZM

Since Balls does such a nice job with these posts, I didn’t think it was fair at all that he had to bow out before the playoffs.  So, in the spirit of the pagan druid holiday season and that other guy with the beard’s birthday, I thought I’d give him a shot to buy back in.  I’m offering Balls a one-time only wager.  All 129 of my fake dollars on Houston -6 against Jacksonville, with you having to write a blog post next week declaring me the smartest, bestest gambler of all time if I win.  FM Warner suggested we bet pinks, but nobody wants my Toyota Tercel, so here we are.  Anyhoo – there’s the offer.

WeedenpupThis guy.  I’m betting on this guy.

UPDATE:  This is Balls.  I am IN!  I’m guessing you don’t want to trade Toyotas (your Tercel for my Matrix), so the flowery post it is!  Now, no one tell DTZM that Hoyer is starting!

 

King Hippo

I did pretty ok last week, so now it’s my turn to revert to the mean. Nothing ever makes sense in Week 17, some teams show up, and some don’t. Good luck figuring out who.

BILLS +3 over Jets. The script just writes itself too perfectly, does it not? Especially since I can get a backdoor push with a close FG win. But I fully expect a full and complete Jetsing, given how this season has gone. Bet $22 to win $20.

Bucs +10.5 over PANTHERS. Tampa has a reasonably effective front seven, and Carolina showed more vulnerability than can be explained away by “pressure of maintaining the perfect season.” I think the Panthers will pull out the win, but it will be uncomfortably close. Bet $22 to win $20.

Chargers +9 over BRONCOS. Too many points? TOO MANY POINTS. Denver is extremely challenged offensively, and King Laserface absolutely lives to screw with the Broncos. An outright upset can’t be ruled out. Bet $11 to win $10.

49ERS +3.5 over Rams. Pre-LA should never be a road favourite over ANYBODY. Classic overreaction to their win in Seattle, which everyone should know by now is pure one-off juju Fisher’s moustache has over the Pacific Northwest. Bet $11 to win $10.

Name Balls of Steel Initial Bankroll: 200

Pick # Favorite Underdog Line Wager Winner? Winnings Bankroll Balance
1 San Diego
Detroit 3 11 Y 10.00 210.00
2 Minnesota San Francisco 2.5 11 N -11.00 199.00
3 Tennessee Cleveland 1 11 N -11.00 188.00
4 Philadelphia Dallas 5.5 11 Y 10.00 198.00
5 NY Jets Philly 2.5 11 Y 10.00 208.00
6 Indianapolis Tennessee 3 11 Y 10.00 218.00
7 Oakland Chicago 3 11 N -11.00 207.00
8 Buffalo Tennessee 2.5 11  Y 10.00 217.00
9 Kansas City Chicago 9 11  Y 10.00 227.00
10 Green Bay St. Louis 9 11  N -11.00 216.00
11  St. Louis Cleveland 5.5 11 N -11.00 205.00
12 Arizona Baltimore 7.5 11 N -11.00 194.00
13 New England Miami 8 11 N -11.00 183.00
14 Kansas City Detroit 5 11 N -11.00 172.00
15 Minnesota Chicago 1.5 11 Y 10.00 182.00
16 Pittsburgh Oakland 4 22  Y 20.00 202.00
17 Washington New Orleans PK 11  N -11.00 191.00
18 New England NY Giants 7 11 Y 10.00 201.00
19 Miami Dallas PK 11 Y 10.00 211.00
20 Seattle San Francisco 12.5 11 N -11.00 200.00
21 New England Buffalo 7 11 PUSH 0 200.00
22 New England Denver 3 55  N -55.00 145.00
23 NY Jets NY Giants 2.5 11  N -11.00 134.00
24 Miami Baltimore 4 11 Y 10.00 144.00
25 Buffalo Houston 3 11 N -11.00 133.00
26 Carolina Atlanta 7.5 33 N -33.00 100.00
27 St. Louis Tampa Bay 2.5 11 N -11.00 89.00
28 Jacksonville Atlanta 3 11 N -11.00 78.00
29 New England NY Jets 3 78 -78.00 0.00

Name WhyEaglesWhy Initial Bankroll: 200

Pick # Favorite Underdog Line Wager Winner? Winnings Bankroll Balance
1 Denver Baltimore 4.5 11 N -11.00 189.00
2 Houston Kansas City 1 11 Y 10.00 199.00
3 Carolina Houston 3 11 N -11.00 188.00
4 NY Giants Atlanta 3 11 Y 10.00 198.00
5 Philadelphia Dallas 5.5 11 Y 10.00 208.00
6 Cleveland Oakland 3.5 11 Y 10.00 218.00
7 Miami Buffalo 3 11 Y 10.00 228.00
8 Oakland Chicago 3 11 N -11.00 217.00
9 Philadelphia New Orleans 4.5 11  N -11.00 206.00
10 Arizona Detroit 2.5 22 Y 20.00 226.00
11 Houston Indianapolis 1 11 Y 10.00 236.00
12 New England Indianapolis 7.5 22  N -22.00 214.00
13 Philadelphia NY Giants 4.5 11 N -11.00 203.00
14 St. Louis Cleveland 5.5 11  N -11.00 192.00
15 Miami Houston 4 11  Y 10.00 202.00
16 Washington Tampa Bay 3 11  N -11.00 191.00
17 Kansas City Detroit 5 11  N -11.00 180.00
18 Minnesota Chicago 1.5 11 N -11.00 169.00
19 New Orleans NY Giants 3 11 Push 0 169.00
20 Pittsburgh Cincinnati PK 11  Y 10.00 179.00
21 Baltimore San Diego 3.5 11 Y 10.00 189.00
22 Atlanta San Francisco 7 11 N -11.00 178.00
23 New York Giants Tampa Bay 2.5 11 Y 10.00 188.00
24 San Diego Chicago 4 11  Y 10.00 198.00
25 Oakland Minnesota 3 11  Y 10.00 208.00
26 Seattle Arizona 3 11  Y 10.00 218.00
27 Miami Dallas PK 22  Y 20.00 238.00
28 Washington Dallas 4.5 11  N -11.00 227.00
29 Denver San Diego 4 11  Y 10.00 237.00
30 Seattle Minnesota PK 11 Y 10.00 247.00
31 Tennessee Jacksonville 2.5 11 Y 10.00 257.00
32 New England Philadelphia 9.5 11  Y 10.00 267.00
33 Cincinnati Pittsburgh 2.5 11  Y 10.00 277.00
34 St. Louis Detroit PK 11 N -11.00 266.00
35 New England Houston 3 33 Y 30.00 296.00
36 Carolina NY Giants 4.5 11  Y 10.00 306.00
37 Arizona Philadelphia 4.5 22 Y 20.00 326.00
38 Jacksonville Atlanta 3 11 N -11.00 315.00
39 Denver Cincinnati 3.5 11  N -11.00 304.00
40 Pittsburgh Baltimore 10 11 N -11.00 293.00
41 New England NY Jets 3 22 N -22.00 271.00
42 Philadelphia Washington 3 11 Y 10.00 281.00
43 NY Jets Buffalo 3 33 -33.00 248.00
44 Pittsburgh Cleveland 10.5 22 -22.00 226.00
45 Kansas City Oakland 6.5 11 -11.00 215.00
46 Green Bay Minnesota 3 11 -11.00 204.00

 

Name King Hippo Initial Bankroll: 200

Pick # Favorite Underdog Line Wager Winner? Winnings Bankroll Balance
1 Green Bay Chicago 7 22 N -22.00 178.00
2 Cincinnati Oakland 3 11 N -11.00 167.00
3 New England Buffalo 1 55 Y 50.00 217.00
4 New England Jacksonville 13.5 11 N -11.00 206.00
5 Seattle Chicago 14.5 11 N -11.00 195.00
6 Oakland Chicago 3 55 N -55.00 140.00
7 Atlanta Washington 7 22  Y 20.00 160.00
8 Tampa Bay Jacksonville 3 22  N -22.00 138.00
9 Denver Oakland 4.5 33  N -33.00 105.00
10 New England Indianapolis 7.5 44  N -44.00 61.00
11 Atlanta New Orleans 3.5 33 Y 30.00 91.00
12 Seattle Carolina 7 22  Y 20.00 111.00
13 Carolina Philadelphia 3 33  Y 30.00 141.00
14 Houston Tennessee 3 11  N -11.00 130.00
15 Seattle Dallas 6 11 Y 10.00 140.00
16 Atlanta Tampa Bay 7 11 Y 10.00 150.00
17 Kansas City Detroit 5 22 N -22.00 128.00
18 Pittsburgh Oakland 4 11 Y 10.00 138.00
19 Cincinnati Cleveland 11.5 11  N -11.00 127.00
20 Philadelphia Dallas 2.5 11  N -11.00 116.00
21  Baltimore Jacksonville 5.5 22  Y 20.00 136.00
22 Green Bay Detroit 11.5 33  N -33.00 103.00
23 Jacksonville Tennessee 3 33  Y 30.00 133.00
24 Atlanta Indianapolis 5.5 22 Y 20.00 153.00
25 New England Buffalo 7 33 PUSH 0.00 153.00
26 Dallas Carolina 1.5 153  Y 139.00 292.00
27 Seattle Minnesota PK 55  N -55.00 237.00
28 New England Philadelphia 9.5 22 N -22.00 215.00
29 New York Jets NY Giants 2.5 22 N -22.00 193.00
30 Pittsburgh Indianapolis 7 11 N -11.00 182.00
31 Arizona Minnesota 8.5 33  Y 30.00 212.00
32 Chicago Washington 3 22  Y 20.00 232.00
33 Indianapolis Jacksonville PK 22 Y 20.00 252.00
34 NY Giants Miami 1 11 Y 10.00 262.00
35 St. Louis Tampa Bay 2.5 33  N -33.00 229.00
36 Cincinnati San Francisco 4.5 22  Y 20.00 249.00
37 Denver Cincinnati 3.5 55  Y 50.00 299.00
38 Seattle St. Louis 13.5 22 Y 20.00 319.00
39 Philadelphia Washington 3 22 Y 20.00 339.00
40 Detroit San Francisco 9.5 11 N -11.00 328.00
41 NY Jets Buffalo 3 22 -22.00 306.00
42 Carolina Tampa Bay 10.5 22 -22.00 284.00
43 Denver San Diego 9 11 -11.00 273.00
44 St. Louis San Francisco 3.5 11 -11.00 262.00

Name Darkest Timeline Zack Morris Initial Bankroll: 200

Pick # Favorite Underdog Line Wager Winner? Winnings Bankroll Balance
1 Seattle St. Louis 4.5 11 N -11.00 189.00
2 Denver Baltimore 4.5 11 N -11.00 178.00
3 Baltimore Oakland 5.5 11 N -11.00 167.00
4 New Orleans Tampa 5.5 11 N -11.00 156.00
5 Indianapolis Jacksonville 9 22 Y 20.00 176.00
6 Oakland Chicago 3 11 N -11.00 165.00
7 Cincinnati Kansas City 5.5 55 N -55 110.00
8 Buffalo NY Giants 4.5 22 Y 20 130.00
9 Kansas City Chicago 9 11 N -11.00 119.00
10 Cincinnati Seattle 3 11 PUSH 0 119.00
11 Seattle Carolina 7 11  Y 10 129.00
12 Arizona Pittsburgh 3 11  Y 10 139.00
13 Atlanta San Francisco 7 11 N  -11.00 128.00
14 Cincinnati Cleveland 11.5 11 Y 10.00 138.00
15 New Orleans Washington PK 55  N -55.00 83.00
16 Carolina Tennessee 5 11 Y 10.00 93.00
17 Philadelphia Tampa 5.5 11  Y 10.00 103.00
18 Chicago Denver 1 44 Y 40.00 143.00
19 Atlanta Jacksonville 3 44  N -44.00 99.00
20 Arizona Philadelphia 3.5 33 Y 30.00 129.00
21 Houston Jacksonville 6 129 -129.00 0
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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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JerBear50

Tell me more about this back door push? Asking for a friend.

–Aaron Rodgers.

montythisseemsstrangetome

WEW, I don’t think KC needs this game that much. They can only improve their seeding if San Diego beats Denver, which of course is possible… but not terribly likely.

Old School Zero

Not at all likely.

WhyEaglesWhy

You never know when Laserface will have one of his HOF games. Besides, they play at the same time, so the Chiefs have to play like they have a chance. Plus, Raiders.

Enrico Pallazzo

Kellen Moore is laying four points. That is hilarious and I don’t care who is playing for my Pigdicks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If that Steelers spread hasn’t shot up to 14 by kickoff from all the people being against the Browns, it’s a surefire trap. The Steelers are notorious for failing to cover spreads like this one.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JerBear50

I wonder if even half of the hits in that highlight reel would go unflagged today. He has a wide open blindside sack on one play and instead drops down to plow into the back of the qb’s knees.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Every hit would be flagged if it were on Tom Brady.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

This is HOYER COUNTRY SON

Old School Zero

I’m amazed you let your dog play football, with how dangerous it is.

King Hippo

SO MUCH FUN!!!