If there is a conversation about almost any topic, and you make a statement that starts with “My thing is…”, then you have done me a great service because I now know I don’t have to pay attention to anything else you say. What follows “My thing is…” is invariably an opinion for which you have absolutely no supporting evidence. Frequently “My thing is…” a viewpoint that is so painfully obvious that it need not be spoken, yet it is delivered with such earnestness and conviction as if you are the only person on earth to whom this great truth has been revealed. A lot of times “My thing is…” thinly-veiled racism.
“My thing is, they shouldn’t have even been cutting off the heads of those puppies in the first place.”
You have something so important to add to the conversation that you can’t even be bothered to pause long enough to come up with “My opinion is…”, “In my experience…”, “I’ve always believed…” No, this stance you’re taking is too significant, a point too salient to be stalled by coherent vocabulary, sequiturs be damned!
“My thing is, why can’t they just learn English?”
The other good news is that “My thing is…” occupying close to 100% of your conscious thought, helpfully blocking pesky new ideas and other conversation from entering and potentially distracting you from sharing your great wisdom with us. It would be a tragedy indeed if you had to listen to and engage with others; process their comments and allow multiple viewpoints to inform your opinions and experiences.
“My thing is, I don’t want to get salmonella poisoning.”
So thank you for not depriving us. Thank you for giving us actionable information, the kind that allows us to determine how much heed we should pay you. Because MY thing is that you are an idiot.
“My thing is……… erect.”
“My thing is………..wet.”
http://57.media.tumblr.com/73a4607e7833afe3658bbb3278d33dcf/tumblr_nvd01lGGmC1uzub3yo8_400.gif
http://57.media.tumblr.com/e2aa6ab73e783217dd082ef02dcb339e/tumblr_nszuvhRYDi1ql4e6oo5_250.gif
My hat blew off, Daddy.
I HOPE YOUR EMPTY HEAD WAS IN IT!!!!!
http://a3.web.wt-cdn.com/post_items/images/000/029/229/original/mcshane.gif
My thing is, Dan Snyder isn’t even that bad!
When compared to the Ebola virus Dan Snyder has ruined far fewer things in his lifetime.
That’s what I’ve been saying!
http://57.media.tumblr.com/93bc31e62b4d8878c19698917d46249c/tumblr_nuzwclTB9z1s3md61o2_400.gif
MY GENERIC NOUN IS MINE. THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT BUT THIS ONE IS MINE.
I named my generic noun “Charlene.”
http://45.media.tumblr.com/a8ab1ae46dabfc552c2259eb1c7d1d1a/tumblr_noqxpxg7Za1rujey2o1_500.gif
…NO! You’re the IDI-OT!
The only opinions I ever truly listen to are ones that begin with, “Listen, fucker,” because that’s how my grandma taught me.
JJFozz is your grandma?
WHOLE lotta things just started making sense…
“My thing is being a St. Louis Cardinals fan. We are the best fans in baseball!” – Monty
My thing is that I love Cuntler. Not in a gay way. Okay, maybe a little bit in a gay way.
You have horrible taste in people.
My thing is… the biggest my wife has ever seen. That’s what she tells me. It’s so big she thinks it’s funny. NO! That’s why she’s laughing. Stop rolling your eyes.
“It’s understandable. I have a hard time keeping a straight face when I’m looking at one of those things too.”
– Aaron Rodgers
You read the comments, didn’t you? This is what happens when you read the comments.
You see, I have a problem. I read the comment. I know it’s not good for me but once I start with one or two, soon it’s hundred and then I do something much worse: I comment.
Just yesterday, I fell into a deep abyss of stupid when I burned my brain with a HOT TAKE about ESPN hiring a woman full time to work in the booth for its Sunday Night Baseball games. This, of course, brought out one guy whose “my thing is” was keeping women out of a role that just should be for a man.
He, of course, had no reason. The hallmark of the “my thing is” folks is that reasons don’t matter. That might lead to changing one’s thing and that shit is surely a sign of weakness. Hell, he just rolled with the blunt accusation that he was a sexist. Gotta cling to “my thing is” or else what the fuck else is there?
And, of course, I comment.
Several posts later, I’ve accomplished nothing, feel angry as hell, and know the bastard is probably just as committed to his shitty beliefs as he was before.
*sigh*
“My thing is being a St. Louis Cardinals fans. We are the best fans in baseball!” – Monty
Nonono. “My Thing Is” is not an expression of interest in a subject or hobby. It means “here is the issue I have fastened onto to the exclusion of reasonable discourse.”
So the proper use in this context is “My thing is, Mark McGwire should be in the Hall of Fame because everybody was doing steroids and that makes it ok. And Pujols is a traitor and I never liked him.”
/likes the Cards
//does not like the #BFIB
Whenever some Cardinals fans get squawky about my BFIB hate, I remind them that “Cardinals fans” and the “BFIB” are not completely overlapping circles.
*trader
My thing is, “My Thing Is” is actually an expression of interest in a subject or hobby.
*pedantically
Shut up, you American. You Americans, all you do is talk, and talk, and say “let me tell you something” and “I just wanna say.” Well, you’re dead now, so shut up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X86u4MMpnE
Death right on the nose. Again.
Ghost writer?
http://oi37.tinypic.com/2u71vuo.jpg
Ghost Rider!
Playing the Cardinals/Packers halftime show:
https://youtu.be/NwL98zzdEXo