Your “City of Charlotte Shuts Down For The Game And Nobody Notices” Open Thread

After watching Arizony blurp their way to victory yesterday I’m saying that the winner of this game is the NFC champ. It looks like RB Lynch is back on the field today. The usual fart-makers that must talk about things are wondering if he’ll be ‘ready’. Hmm, do you think that a Pro Bowl back with fresh legs might possibly be an upgrade over something called a, and I quote, “Christine Michael”? I do. Just looking at the both of these teams I must say, THERE’S A SHIT-TON OF TALENT HERE. DO YOU HEAR THAT JERRY REESE? IT CAN’T BE THAT HARD TO DRAFT WELL. [upends table that has nothing on it] Sorry. Where was I? Right. You’d think that mega-CB Norman would be matched up against WR Baldwin (he of the 13 TD’s in the last 9 games) but the former is a baby that only rarely plays the slot receiver. (don’t tell him I typed that) Speaking of tough assignments S Chancellor gets to be roasted on a spit with an apple in his mouth by TE Olsen. “Fat Chance” is great in run support but if Seattle wants to blitz he’s gonna be on an island that features quite a few balls whizzing overhead. CB Sherman does follow the opposing #1 WR all over the field and that spells bad news for Ted Ginn. Years from now when you hear the phrase “a rising tide lifts all shitty receivers to career years” you’ll think of the Ginner and have yourself a nice martini. (may apply to myself only). One guy that might be under your radar is Kawaan Short. The Seahawks have struggled against dominant DT’s (just like everyone else, duh) like Donald (Rams) and Atkins (Bengals) and short led the league at his position with 11 sacks and 16 tackles for a loss. The man tasked with going after QB Newton has sacked him 7 times in 4 games-OLB Irvin it’s time to do what you do. HAVE AT IT YOU RAPSCALLIONS!

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evilbeaver8

I had a brief moment of hope that the backlash against idiots saying “thoughts and prayers” in relation to any/all bad news had reached critical mass. Troy Aikman has set me straight.

Doktor Zymm

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Sill Bimmons

I live alone.

I can’t blame the missing peanut butter on others.

Doktor Zymm

I actually hate peanut butter. It would be creepy as all hell if I found some in my fridge.

JustStopDude
bourb0nblues

Ha! Right in front of Pete. Love it.

Romonobyl

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Kungjitsu

If I was going to have sex with a sideline reporter, I would choose Erin Andrews over Chris Meyers.

The Maestro

I call Sam Ponder, then.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You assholes stay away from Allie LaForce.

King Hippo

I am too late ,, smh

King Hippo

Allie LaForce!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!!!!!!

Romonobyl

Can we take a peek?

JustStopDude
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, OK.

Sharkbait

Ducking out of work 10 min early because I have to hit the store on my way home. I hope I dont miss more derp.

The Maestro

Seattle scores on the kickoff return; Pete Carroll is vindicated!

http://media0.giphy.com/media/rl0FOxdz7CcxO/giphy.gif

JustStopDude
blackroseMD1
John Difool

McClain just got Hans Grubered….

Kungjitsu

Ho…Ho…Ho.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yippee kay yay…mothuhfuckah

JustStopDude
Sill Bimmons

What a jackass.

The Maestro

god DAMMIT you beat me to it!

...

Well this annoys me.

makeitsnowondem

The thing about the Seahawks without Avril is that they can’t score enough points to win.

...

My favorite conspiracy is that she’s been dead for years and replaced by a double.

Sharkbait

The future mrs. sharkbait just emailed me to say this game is a dumpster fire.

JustStopDude
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think we get the idea.

evilbeaver8

One small benefit of rooting for a shitty non-playoff team is having no rooting interests in games like this. If the Seahawks were to come back and win it would be hilarious. Carolina goes on to win 45-7? Still hilarious.

Doktor Zymm

It’s a good meme.

Romonobyl

GAME-CHANGING RETURN!!!!

Dick E. Phuck

Today’s excitement is brought to you by nissan, and today’s lack of excitement is brought to you by Joe Buck and Troy Aikman.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Sill Bimmons

WHY AREN’T YOU IN THE MARINES TOO YOU FUCKING PUSSY

Doktor Zymm
The Maestro

Cheer up, Seahawks fans. At least the Sonics are having a good season! Oh, wait…

theeWeeBabySeamus
JustStopDude

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Sill Bimmons

It’s Bilderberg, not Bilderburg.

Idiots can’t even spell their own conspiracies.

...

I love those these magazine covers are as much an assault on the mind and senses as the ideology contained within.

Dick E. Phuck

6.66 euros, very subtle.

Bortleback

Pete Carroll is throwing the game so he’ll be able to watch that X Files special instead of being at the NFC championship game – he thinks it’s a documentary.

Sill Bimmons

I thought it was Spielberg who faked the moon landing.

Doktor Zymm

Maybe he just finished it? Like AI.

Sill Bimmons

Maybe.

It’s how he financed Jaws, you know.

John Difool

What’s Pete Carroll’s favorite penalty?
Majestic 12 Men On The Field.
*slips on sunglasses*
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH !!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My gift subscription to Pete.
http://magazines.magazineclonercdn.com/covers/94808.jpg

Actually would highly recommend this publication.

Kungjitsu

Satanic Panic is the name of my metal band.

evilbeaver8

Mine is Cruci-Fiction.

Sill Bimmons

Educated people do not doubt evolution.

evilbeaver8

Educated does not mean intelligent.

Sill Bimmons

Their word, not mine.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

There’s a difference between education and lack of idiocy. Ben Carson is highly educated, yet still a blithering idiot.

...

And, more specifically, educated in a very narrow way to perform a certain job.

I do love how so many people shit on a liberal arts education on the ground it can’t get you a job (a lie) while ignoring that it’s an inoculation against idiocy.

Sill Bimmons

Surgeons are among the dumbest people I’ve met, and that’s a good thing.

You don’t want somebody thinking too hard about the manatees when they’ve got the top of your head off.

...

Brain and body mechanics.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Absolutely; many educated people suffer from cognitive dissonance.

JustStopDude
blackroseMD1

I had a kid stop me on one of my walks once and start talking to me about Jesus. After I tried politely to tell him I wasn’t interested, he jumped straight into the “Well, you know Obama and Bush sacrifice children once a month up in Northern California” spiel.

That was the point where I busted up laughing. He looked insulted and walked away. It was hilarious.

evilbeaver8

Are the flying saucers also Muslim and atheist in addition to Nazi? Cause that would explain Obama and his unknown birthplace…

blaxabbath

Alright, this game is fucked. I’m gonna head back outside and get back on clearing the sideyard.

Sill Bimmons
tundrajim

I live in Texas, and I just watched a commercial about cotton with the tag line, “Nothin but white. This is gonna be good.” I’m feeling very uncomfortable.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I lived in TX years ago. Nice to see it hasn’t changed.

ThePirateSloth

Yup, I’m turning the game off. I’ll be back for the late game.

Senor Weaselo

Well Hauschka’s first playoff miss won’t mean anything.

Sill Bimmons
The Maestro

Everything about this is wonderful.

hippofant

El-oh-el.

JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, this is a little closer.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hauschka….the pride of the U of Wisconsin.
(hehehehehe)

makeitsnowondem

more like Ouchka tbh

ballsofsteelandfury

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Fuck you, Carroll. Bullshit strategy there.