DFO’s Resident Pats Fan Checks In With His Thoughts on the AFC Championship Game

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But in all seriousness, congratulations on a hell of a game, Denver. Your defense is terrifying, and it’s incredibly impressive to watch, especially Von Miller and DeMarcus Ware in pass rushing. Wade Phillips may be a shitty head coach, but he sure can run a defense.

I’m actually sorry Peyton’s gonna get skullfucked in the Super Bowl again. It’s a bummer too, because he really is a hell of a quarterback. Going out like this, with noodle arm and zero strength, is no fun at all. He deserved better. Knowing us, he’ll win a gazillion titles as an OC in his future. So at least he’ll find vindication that way.

Lastly, the only hope Denver has against the NFC is to not drop passes. So perhaps they should talk to Jerry Rice and/or the manager of a warehouse full of Stickum.

And stop playing Ronnie Hillman. He fucking sucks.

I need another beer.

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The Maestro
The Maestro is a mystical Canadian internet user and New England Patriots fan; when the weather is cooperative and the TV signal at his igloo is strong enough, he enjoys watching the NFL, the Ottawa Senators & REDBLACKS, and yelling into the abyss on Twitter. He is somehow allowed to teach music to high school students when he isn't in a blind rage about sports, and is also a known connoisseur of cheap beers across the Great White North.
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Lothar of the Hill People

Amazed me how when Denver rushed 3, Brady was in deep shit. Kinda counter-intuitive that rushing fewer put more pressure on him.

But oh, it was glorious seeing him get pummeled, even if Hochuli made a beeline over to help him up after practically every fucking hit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Apologies; this is my collage of either team’s fans reactions had the game, being that close, not gone their way.

JerBear50

Two Fry’s but no Laurie?

http://img.youtube.com/vi/IoglB5NRxTo/0.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Did not find one exasperated enough.

Beerguyrob

I chose to not watch the late game and instead join some friends in watching the Royal Rumble. I regret nothing. For thos who care:

SPOILER ALERT

Good news: Strangely, the Pats didn’t win there either.

Bad news: It’s 2003 again.

http://www.cbssports.com/images/blogs/triple-h-celebrate.jpg

Mr. Ayo

Ook!

Cuntler

Cam Newton and the Ex-Bears look good,

/eat shit, Angelo

//so many people eating shit, you guys

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The terrible turd taste test.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well said Maestro. The thing about football is people say it was a complete failure DESPITE BEING THE SECOND SEED, GETTING TO THE AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME, BLOWING THEIR DIVISION OUT OF THE WATER …..AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN. Fuck fans; they are a great team AND fun to hate.

The narrative of Bill the genius getting out genioused by country bumpkin Wade Phillips has gone quiet.

They will win that division again next year.

http://57.media.tumblr.com/2b93ece30a447615949a148e9df29f3a/tumblr_nvsbrdNKWI1r4gei2o1_400.gif

Porky Prime

Theyll also go the the AFC title game again next year. Only to lose to the OAKLAND RAI–
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_bHSVCs9rX0A/THNIXqotBcI/AAAAAAAAJ2A/qfG3iCtXgqU/s400/technical_difficulties.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wait… waaa?

That would suck for me Donks, but it would be hilarious.

http://55.media.tumblr.com/ead2c1b482b012dbff8e228717902a34/tumblr_mqg600uDNE1sa6uifo1_r1_500.gif

Dunstan

Should I see a doctor if my Patriots Schadenfreude Erection lasts more than four hours?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No; you are good.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Or that special someone. A boner like that should be shared, apparently in adjoining outdoor tubs.

King Hippo

Ronnie Hillman is the worst. Seriously, I can’t even.

/has stroke

Why Thank You Eddie

Was he the one that per-emptively dropped every pass before it was thrown?

Why Thank You Eddie

Or per-emptively.

Why Thank You Eddie

Ok. This isn’t funny. Auto correct. Meet me out in the alley in 10 minutes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s OK; he’s had four drops this year.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Granted not a top flight, but really? He is one back that can gash if he has running lanes; did you fucking notice how well the Pats’ runners did. The running game has been hugely inconsistant, but when the blocking is there he does well. He is the number two back on a Super Bowl team; what the fuck is wrong with you?

http://57.media.tumblr.com/9e544774c37a3fe8666fe7453c12a5c5/tumblr_nqi67tMpyG1s0gi7bo2_400.gif

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Couldn’t have happened to an eviler team.

Sill Bimmons

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Cuntler

Also, eat shit Johnny Sugar.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Amen, hallelujah

JerBear50

Not sure what brought this on, but agreed nonetheless.

Cuntler

Johnny Sugar is a pats fan and bad writer. As is our Canadian person here.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Why are you even thinking about him? Wasted effort.

Cuntler

Because I’m an asshole who hates stupid lazy people (including myself at times).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well; I can hold petty, meaningless grudges too! Just ask my family! Those fuckers.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

comment image

Cuntler

Dear Mailbag:

Eat shit, loser.

Love,
Cuntler

Duchess

He’s Canadian not German

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

“Eat elk shit, loser.”

Fixed

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Those pellets are more palatable.

Duchess

Wait this didnt end in an apology? and you call yourself a canadian

Porky Prime

Hooray for the team I hate slightly less.

But FUCK YOU METEOR YOU HAD ONE JOB.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sharkbait

Also I blame your senators for the double down of angry drinking I’m doing.

Sharkbait

Whose miss was worse? Gostkowski or Kevin Hayes?

Senor Weaselo

I mercifully was out shoveling during the whole game. How did Hayes shank a goal?

Sharkbait

Anderson was nowhere close to the front of the net. Puck must have rolled or something but he fanned on the first whack at it and that allowed Anderson to get some equipment back into position.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Congress! Those clowns!

Kungjitsu

The only Pats on offense that were actually professional football players were Tawmmy and Gronk. Y’all were out there with an intramural team.

Don T

Me: Brady half a season without a running game. He’s gotta be the best ever.

Them: AT CHEETIN’

Sharkbait

This. All of this.

Horatio Cornblower

Well said you.

Moonbatting Average

Love ya, Maestro