Disgraced Friday Night Tykes reality star and former TYFA Junior Broncos coach-turned-motivational speaker, Coach Charles Chavarria stands at the front of the Denver Broncos first Super Bowl film study session as they prepare to play the Carolina Panthers. Booked for two hours, Chavarria’s voice is growing horse when, at the 1:45 mark, he thanks the parents, cheerleaders, coaches, team staff, and VIP fans for their commitment to the organization and asks that they leave so that he may give his Super Bowl prediction in a players-only meeting.

In the mumble of farewells and shuffle of exiting feet at the back of the room, Archie Manning (father of Peyton, the Broncos’ starting quarterback and a team leader) makes a joke that he hopes Chavarria is picking Denver. Chavarria laughs a vague comment of the affirmative and pats the unofficial team dad on the back as he closes the door and turns the deadbolt. He is looking down and shaking his head when he addresses the 53 men in the room.

Man that’s great parental involvement there. Funny stuff. Where is Peyton?….Oh up front, there, yeah. Of course, you’re the leader of the offense; the star of the team. Well, let me say this about your dad, Peyton, [leans down to the quarterback’s face] if he ever tells me what to do again, I’ll drive a rusty bayonet up his damn urethra. HE IS NOT A BRONCO! HE IS NOT YOUR FAMILY! YOU ARE HERE FOR YOUR FAMILY AND THE BRONCOS ARE YOUR FAMILY!

Now, to the rest of you, listen up! The Broncos are going to win that title next week. You’re going to win because you’re all Broncos. You’re going to hit hard. You’re going to kill them. You’re going to make them cry. Why are you looking so calm #97?

[Screen behind him ceases to flicker and Chavvarria’s low growling sound grows]

Fuck! Damn it! Five! Can anyone in here even count to five?!

[Pulls hat over face]

Did we not coach you, Schofield? Has this staff not given you their blood? Their sweat? Their tears? 700 thousand dollars this year? But you can’t execute? You have to execute! I don’t care that he’s a freak! I don’t care that he’s a greater physical specimen than you! You need to hit hard! You need to be drawing his blood! Did you draw his blood? I’ll tell you that you did not! You’re a fucking disgrace and you better fucking do better against a team with 300+ sacks this year and leads the league in interceptions!

[Pulls out glowing branding iron and presses the poker into Schofield’s shoulder. The smell of charred fabric, hair, and flesh fill the room.]

But you’re family! We’re family, Mike. That’s why I gave you this Broncos brand. [Jerks up shirt to show an aged BRONCOS  brand across his own stomach.] Yeah, you like this? You’re going to remember this family forver, Mike. Not like my wife and kids who walked out on me. That’s why they aren’t my family anymore. This is my family. Broncos are our families.

Who in here has a wife, or kids, or parents, or siblings? I guarantee, you get rid of them by Sunday and you walk out of that stadium, that field, that WWI-style war zone of trench battles, mustard gas, and sniper head shots, as champions. A family of champions. Not like my wife and kids who’ve never even been to a Super Bowl and….wait, let me back up for a second. What I just said there, about the mustard gas and the head shots; I need you to listen closely. I am promoting that you players use both of those tactics, literally, on the other team during the Super Bowl. Do you understand? I want you all to enlist practices that would get you charged under the weak-ass Geneva Convention — DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON EUROPE — if you didn’t do it to your fellow American.

I want Cam Newton to go down and I don’t want him to get up.

Ok, now, where were we? Oh yeah, executing. Where is Aqib Talib? Wait — Aqib Talib? That’s one of the more normal names I’ve heard in recent memory. Is this spelled right? Only one Q? No semi-colons or random tildes? I kind of expected two Qs followed by a W. Like 4qqwib Tal1b, you know? Fucking strange, that’s for sure. Anyways, everyone, I want you all to see how Aqib follows instructions and executes on the field.
That’s right! Can’t catch what you can’t see, asshole Colts. Aqib executed! And where were the rest of you? Besides Miller, who was skillfully trying to protect Aqib from the officials, no one else was executing! Miller is Aqib’s family! This is family! You need to take care of your family! Not like my wife and kids who walked out on me! We are Broncos! This is my family!

Why are you all looking this this? You need to be pumped up! You need to be filled with rage and then you need to stay at this emotional level until then! I know I will!

[A bell dings in the back of the room. The two hours are up. Players abruptly begin packing their bags and exiting the room.]

JUST REMEMBER TO WIN! IT IS EVERYTHING! DON’T LET ME DOWN, FAMILY!