Your “It’s Finally Starting To Feel As Though A Football Game Will Be Played Soon” Open Thread

We’re all of us now at the end of the second day of “Super Bowl Week”. Things are starting to come together. It’s been announced that Lady Gaga will be singing The Star-Spunkled Banner before the game. Word has it that Johnny Manziel is going to be dropped by the Browns in March. Some dumb-ass school celebrated “99th Day” as a tribute to the hardest working “look-at-me, DAMMIT!” DE in the league. Eugene Robinson, yeah that Eugene Robinson, warned the Panthers that they should stay focused on the goal at hand “And no matter how hot she is, don’t offer any woman money for sex before the big game-save it for after the big one. Heh, Big One. PHRASING! AM I RIGHT?” Sound advice, Eugene Robinson, sound advice.

Games-wise the NBA sucks until further notice. (why they don’t play on a larger ice surface continues to befuddle me). Speaking of the NHL, your humblest (for the time being) of open thread bloggers was kind enough to give youse guys a preview of tonight’s games last night so that everyone could sit down and give some serious thought as to why they don’t watch such a fast-paced, engaging, violent game. I won’t be watching any hockey ce soir  because my beloved Cuse is playing. Lesser teams on the college slate include #20 Kentucky, #1 Oklahoma, #22 Indiana, #11 Providence, (is Dunn that good?) and #14 WVU and #13 ISU. IGNORE THE AFORE-MENTIONED GAMES AT YOUR OWN PERIL, BRETHREN!

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WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I found my new Dustin Rowles: Erik Adams of the AV Club.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He gave “Superstore” a higher grade than “Bojack Horseman”.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I am not familiar with either, but I’m trusting you on this. You don’t just toss around that insult casually.

http://49.media.tumblr.com/e49da0c2e31601501270ca081b290d89/tumblr_o0whd3EC721rrx588o1_400.gif

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I checked his post history; I don’t see anything that suggests praise of the Big Bang Theory, so he’s not Hitler or anything, but Bojack Horseman is Very Good and I feel very comfortable assuming that Superstore is not.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A little research indicates he has a sense of humor that does not coincide with mine.

http://49.media.tumblr.com/dffb75151b5ccc9b0a443ae57014969f/tumblr_n4uk28xu3e1twp37bo1_500.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

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WCS

The first rule of Rumblr is you don’t talk about Rumblr.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It was an imaginary app this whole time??

Sharkbait

Bronco Chase!

WCS

And WVU knocks off #14 Iowa State in Ames, 81-76!

Broken toe or not, U NOE WCS GON DRANK

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Shogun Marcus

Koalas in the raaaaiiiinnnn…

Porky Prime

Ooh, I know this one! Neil Sedaka, right?

WCS

Thought it was The Police?

Sharkbait

Nah, It was Led Zeppelin

Shogun Marcus

That’s HAUER in the rain! Like the koala, no fucks given.

Porky Prime

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Wakezilla

And with 2 goals scored in about 15 seconds, this Ice Eskimos/Ice Bengals should be over with the Ice Eskimos up 4-1.

Sharkbait

David Schwimmer as Robert Kardashian?

Horatio Cornblower

John Travolta as Bob Shapiro?

/My wife just fell asleep in front of it and I took great pleasure in turning it off.

Sharkbait

He looks like a smarmy bastard that would unleash the Kardashians upon us.

Porky Prime

He also looks like the kind of guy who would use Kris as a beard

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Both of them in Goatse; The Movie?

litre_cola

Very akin to the factory of sadness releasing their ‘new’ colour of orange uniforms last year.

Sharkbait

Best description.

Sill Bimmons
BrettFavresColonoscopy

1933 was a good year

Beerguyrob

This is the appropriate moment to again say, “Fuck Harold Ballard”. I hope he’s enjoying hell.

Horatio Cornblower

Should’ve included “NHL Participant Since 1967” somewhere in there.

Sill Bimmons

So I guess we should talk about Comedy Central.

Specifically, the sitcoms.

More specifically, Workaholics and Broad City.

Is making the audience want to kill everyone on the show the new funny?

Because I want to kill everyone on both of those shows. Slowly. Painfully. While they’re forced to watch both shows at once.

So if that’s the joke I guess I get it, It’s just not funny. At all. Even a little bit.

Or are they just homicide-inducingly terrible comedies? I’m think I’m going with that.

http://www.relatably.com/q/img/funny-quotes-about-workaholics/46031861194911b2a9f84af349c95fc0.jpg

Sharkbait

I haven’t seen any of those shows. Glad I havent.

litre_cola

You could be watching broke girls.

Sill Bimmons

At least then it’s Kat Dennings telling terrible jokes:

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Wakezilla

Is the new Season of Broad City out?

I thought Workaholics started off OK, but I think they’ve run out of gas. I haven’t seen any of their new season, if it has been released.

Broad City is pretty good. Though, with Hillary “Voter Fraud that main stream media isn’t talking about” expected to make a cameo this season, my expectations for this season is pretty low.

WCS


Leslie Nielsen was a comedic genius.

Sharkbait

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Wakezilla

Connor McDavid of the Ice Eskimos just scored a goal so dirty, Daniel Holtzclaw just got tingles on the back of his neck.

Porky Prime

So since you’re all updating what you’re watching, I’ll chime in.

So the Octonauts just found a saltwater crocodile in the Antarctic Ocean. Crazy, I know, right? So Captain Barnacles sounded the Octo Alert to save the crocodile. But now my son and daughter are having a lightsaber vs. golf club duel, so there’s a lot going on right now.

WCS

Starring Sweet Dee as Cpt. Barnacle?
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Sill Bimmons

Missing the boat sucks.

Sill Bimmons
Porky Prime

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Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Totally forgot the OJ Simpson thing was on tonight.

Porky Prime

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Sill Bimmons

The best joke in that sequence.

Porky Prime

George Lucas should have stolen that sequence for the fall of Anakin Skywalker from Ep3. It would have totally redeemed Hayden Christensen.

Sill Bimmons

Eh, it was basically the same thing. Just longer. And funnier.

WCS

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Senor Weaselo

In rebuttal to myself, I don’t approve of anybody else scoring any of the goals as the Ice Giants lose 3-2 to the Ice, um, Scarlet Knights?

Wakezilla

Sorry, here’s a cheat sheet for you to call our Canadian teams, eh.

Ottawa= Ice RedBlacks
Toronto= Ice Argonauts
Montreal= Ice Alouettes
Winnipeg= Ice Blue Bombers
Calgary= Ice Stampeders
Edmonton= Ice Eskimos
Vancouver= Ice Lions (Liouns?)

Porky Prime

Who are the Ice Rough Riders?

Wakezilla

20 years ago, it’d be Ottawa. When Ottawa returned to the CFL 2-3 years ago, Saskatchewan threatened to sue if they used the RoughRiders name. So they went with Redblacks.

Sadly, nobody is the Ice Rough Riders now.

Wakezilla

God Damnit. I thought Ice Giants were playing Ice Redblacks.

I guess they’d be the Ice Hitmen?

Senor Weaselo

Either that or the Ice Generals, if we’re going USFL?

Sharkbait

Sigh. The powerplay (or lack therof) is killing me.

Wakezilla

Brad Marchand getting hit hard is like foreplay

https://pbs.twimg.com/tweet_video/CaQLHv9WkAAURFG.mp4

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So a friend of mine was chatting with me about how she made ribs last weekend, and then all I could think about was delicious ribs and how wonderful it would be if I could have some ribs right now and man would I sure like some ribs and then I realized this must be the way Andy Reid feels ALL THE TIME.

...

If enough people get together and think about ribs simultaneously, Andy Reid will begin spontaneously sweating.

Porky Prime

Imagine a stadium of KC fans thinking “ribs”…then abruptly, “broccoli.”

Andy Reidcomment image

Sill Bimmons

The key to any rib rub is Rubbed Dalmatian Sage.

It’s the hairs from the leaves, the very essence of sage flavor, kind of like the red hairs on a nice bud.

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That and decent paprika. If you use crap paprika your rub is going to taste like chalk.

JerBear50

I almost always use sage on pork but I’ve never heard of this. I’ll have to see if I can find it.

Porky Prime

I usually stick to Old Spice, but thanks for the suggestions.
http://www.fragrancex.com/images/products/parent/medium/60362M.jpg

Sill Bimmons

I save that for the sauce.

Wakezilla

Are you all excited for the new Maple Leaves jersey?

I hope the McDavid can go on a tear for the Ice Eskimos because my pool went in the shitter as soon as he went down.

Senor Weaselo

Once again, I approve of this “JT Miller scoring all the goals” thing.

JerBear50

Don’t know anything about him but it’s got to beat this “TJ Miller annoying the shit out of me” thing.

WCS

Anyone else think WVU is going to be curbstomped?
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ugh I just had some mediocre Chinese food. Any of you DC DFOers have a rec for something above average in that genre?

WCS

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Senor Weaselo

Goals for some, also goals for others?

WCS

Tiny American and Canadian flags for all.

WCS

Brand new game, Scotchy. Dagnabbit.

Redshirt

Real Life Conversation at Work #1:

Me: Who do you guys supporting in the Primaries?
Worker #1: I don’t have one.
Worker #2: Me neither.
(end conversation)

Real Life Conversation at Work #2:
Me: Who do you guys rooting for in the Super Bowl?
Worker #1: Broncos.
Worker #2: Panthers.
Worker #1: Though its should be a good game.
Worker #2: Are you sure? Manning’s arm isn’t what it used to be.
(conversation continues for five minutes)

God Bless America!

WCS

Pens-Sens is either going to finish 3-2, or 7-5.

Sill Bimmons

6 — 5.

Not too shabby.

WCS

YOU GET A GOAL! AND YOU GET A GOAL! AND YOU GET A GOAL!

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

While Peanut Ball-Paunch Tillman is on tv, I just want to say that he was the best player on the 05&06 Bears defense.

JerBear50

Briggs was coming on pretty strong at that point too.

jjfozz

My oldest came home singing, “I love it when you call me Big Pop-pa”. So proud.

WCS

Ice Stillers and then WVU hoops? LET THE ANGRY DRINKING BEGIN!

WCS

I guess I should reciprocate.

WCS

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WhyEaglesWhy

Scotchy, I had no idea you were a fellow Orangeperson. Rock on!

Horatio Cornblower

What’s all this about a “Super Bowl”?

Spanky Datass

I know, right? That’s what they called it like a year ago. Originality NFL, get some! smdh