(S)Cam Newton is Ruining Gymnastics

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Cam Newton’s thuggery is sending ripples of shockwaves through the sports world. How dare he ruin the game of football by playing the game like tis well a game and actually enjoy things when he wins. And now his cocky flagrant joyfulness is moving towards tainting the generally bland world of gymnastics.

Watch Sophina DeJesus Whip, nae nae and dap her way through a floor routine. Well sorry Ms DeJesus that is not very much a move  your name sake Jesus would be proud of. You wouldn’t see McKayla Maroney doing this on her routine and she is an Olympic role model not this flashy crap Sophina is forcing our young children to watch.

Speaking of the children look at her hair it’s even dyed a Panther blue, look at her tight form fitting outfit what kind of example is she setting for all the young girls? Not a very good one. One day Sophina I hope you realize you will go a lot farther in the world of gymnastics if you spent more time studying film than relying on cheap gimmicks.

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blaxabbathHoratio CornblowerDon TDoktor ZymmThe Right Reverend Electric Mayhem Recent comment authors
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Don T

Her exhuberance is an unapologetc celebration of race.
Boy this gimmick works for anything!
-Eric Fernandez

Doktor Zymm

Next thing you know they’re going to be doing ice dance to the hippity hop!


Big deal. I have a teenage gymnast tied up in my basement that gets the whip all the time.


Even more impressive was the next gymnast, who bent over backward to accuse DeJesus of being the real racist.

monty this seems strange to me

Wow, gymnastics with an Attitude! Was this on FOX?


Someone thinks Maroney should up her game.


Those white announcers are so, so awkward.


My favorite gymnast was always Alicia Sacramone.


Goddamn, she could crack coconuts with her thighs.


Danny Amendola has the gritty determination of Kerri Strug.


Goddam you get free college for that?

I’m having a daughter.

Horatio Cornblower

My wife was a gymnast through high school, so if you want your daughter to grow up and marry a guy who lives in a locker and calls himself “Horatio Cornblower” on the internet, well, you go right ahead.


She hot?

Horatio Cornblower



Don’t be too hard on yourself, Horatio, a gymnast could do far worse. She could marry, for example, Brady Quinn.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

She’s the only one who was limber enough to fit in the locker with him