“She Stoops To Conquer”, A Wednesday Open Thread

Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no fibs.” After last night, the Ninth Commandment is going to be getting strained pretty seriously, as opponents try to run down the leaders. AMC might as well keep showing the “Godfather” movies on repeat.

Hillary sure seems like she’s going to pull it out. Unless Sanders can somehow win New York and Florida, it looks like Bill’s got a better than 50-50 chance of being left alone with all the foreign dignitaries wives during state visits. I’m guessing vasectomies will be a key part of the Hillarycare additions to Obamacare.

I want to eat the George Washington Bridge

Trump almost has more delegates than every other GOP candidate combined, but he hasn’t run away with it yet. My guess is Kasich & Carson get the Fredo treatment in a few days. [It’s already started.] The horizon looks like the start of a civil war as the Republican establishment tries to figure out how to rig the convention. BTW, watching Chris Christie behind Trump during the victory speech reminded me of Chris Farley in a “Da Bears” sketch, blissfully thinking about sausage.

Cruz is sticking around like a hall monitor, thinking his persistence makes him one of the cool kids. The only question left is, who’s going to shove him into a locker?

Trump tried to finish him off.

Nice to see Rubio pull himself out of the woodchipper and win Minnesota. It doesn’t buy him much time – there’s another half-dozen primaries this weekend, and unless he gets…anything he’ll be out of it before Florida gets to throw dirt on his political coffin.

Is this actually the year where a viable third-party candidate emerges, or will someone from the Republican establishment try and Bull Moose Trump before or during the convention? Never mind the lesson of Ross Perot; the last major Republican schism was over 100 years ago.

  Historical discussion: Edith Wilson, first woman president?

The whole exercise reminds me of Oliver Goldsmith’s sage words:

Let schoolmasters puzzle their brain,

          With grammar, and nonsense, and learning.

Good liquor, I stoutly maintain,

          Gives genius a better discerning.

Indeed. Now, let’s separate the wheat from the chaff. The good stuff: (All times Eastern)

NHL: (only 3 in total)

  • Maple Leafs vs Capitals – 7:00 (God, the Leafs are bad; Ovi’s gonna get 5 goals)
  • Blackhawks vs Red Wings – 8:00 (Match of the night)
  • Habs vs Ducks – 10:00

NBA: (9 in total)

  • Jazz vs Raptors – 7:30 (the winning tenant of the ACC)
  • Pelicans vs Rockets – 8:00
  • Pistons vs Spurs – 8:00 (Match of the night)
  • Thunder vs Clippers – 10:30

NCAA:

  • Texas Tech @ #10 WVU – 7:00 (the “WCS Special”)
  • #7 Miami @ Notre Dame – 7:00 (another Catholics versus Convicts matchup)
  • #9 Oregon @ UCLA – 9:00

It’s Always Sunny: “The Gang Goes to Hell (Part 1)” – 10:00

The gang tries to shake things up by going on a cruise but find that old habits die hard even out at sea.

Nothing can go wrong while wearing white.

Enjoy your evening. STOP TRYING TO MAKE “FETCH” HAPPEN!

 

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
351 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Unsurprised

MTWV giffed Lacey Chabert so hard she’s pregnant.

Unsurprised

I’m crying here.

@ProFootballTalk I seem to recall a nother guy w/ injured legs who pushed for a New Deal— PFTCommenter (@PFTCommenter) March 2, 2016

Unsurprised

Oh, more importantly, and why I originally came back. My God, I’m glad I left New Mexico.

The current governor endorsed and is campaigning for Rubio, which means that there are people even more clueless that that empty-suit dipshit. Meanwhile, Bill Richardson, another piece of shit, is campaigning for Hillary in Texas because he will forever have his nose planted firmly up the Clintons’ assholes.

Unsurprised

I should add: How the fuck did she get re-elected in 2014, anyway?

Unsurprised

Couldn’t sleep. And so I just happened to run across this video of Lacey Chabert. http://gfycat.com/FreeGlassGalah

WCS

Going to make it my mission to have this kid signing Pearl Jam, STP, Alice In Chains, and Led Zeppelin before his/her kindergarten mates know who any of those things are.

Lothar of the Hill People

It’s a wonderful thing. My kids love Van Halen. On one of the rare occasions in the car I was playing the radio (on a station other than NPR), the opening riff for “Highway to Hell” started, and my daughter asked, “Is this Van Halen, too? I like it.”

My son loves Badlands. He went through a phase last year when he would be cranky, I’d play him some Dreams in the Dark, and he’d calm right down. Song would end, and he’d ask for more.

https://youtu.be/wIIfu5MTebU?t=25s

Teach your children well, indeed.

WCS

Probably just me left. Time to entertain… well, myself. [PHRASING!]

Wakezilla

This was a good song. I felt like it didn’t get enough radio time when they released this song in 02?

WCS

Proud WCS moment:

This came on das Radio earlier today in das Auto. Wifey said, seemingly off-handily, she didn’t have to look at the display on the dash (modern cars, amirite?) to know who it was. She even added that Dave Grohl was a great drummer. She grew up on church hymnals, vocal groups, and Michael Jackson. At least the latter could write a decent song.

Our on-the-way kid will we be just fine.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Best news I’ve heard all day.
Mazeltov!!!!

WCS

It seems almost as many of you jagoffs live in the DC area as you other jagoffs live in or around LA. Next time I’m in the District, you cocksmokes and I need to party.

WCS

I’ve already posted this 29 times, but, it is still relevant:

http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_manoi8KPyD1rq3b5ko1_r1_500.png

Unsurprised

Dirty girl.

Wakezilla

comment image?w=535

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So, it’s been an interesting evening. The ladyfriend and I have to go to NYC for a memorial service this weekend, and I’m going to Boulder next week, so naturally we had to do a shitload of laundry. The night drags on, we’re tired and cranky, and suddenly we hear a high pitched scream. Can’t quite tell where it’s coming from, but it persists and gets more harried. Eventually we figure out that it’s right fucking next door. The scream sounds violent/defensive, but it’s only one voice, so we really can’t tell if it’s a one sided phone call or if someone’s in there and something is really wrong. So I knock and call out her name. Everything goes silent. I knock again, no answer. Security guard comes up, he knocks, no answer. I call her cell, I text, nothing. Security guard has zero idea what to do. I call non-emergency police line, they send someone over, he knocks, nothing. I have no fucking clue what to do and now we can’t sleep.

WCS

This where I make sure my firearm is loaded, and take up a defensive position.

More important, you have security guards? Are they straight out of central casting, so Predator can off them one-by-one?

Seriously, though, call the police. Be safe, and hope it’s nothing.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I called the police. He knocked on her door, and when she didn’t respond, he came back to take my information and let me know they don’t forcibly enter without more proof. Hooray.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Did she go silent when you knocked exactly? Or before you did?

It really doesn’t sound good either way and I am sure me saying this doesn’t help.

WCS

So they just let it go? That doesn’t seem correct.

On the other hand, I have family who are/were cops. Sometimes it comes down to jurisdictional laws. Maybe they can’t enter, despite what’s happened, given there’s no evidence of anything when they arrive.

I wish I had a better solution, but, keep an eye out. I guarantee the cops will be monitoring the area, though. If something does happen, they ought to be there right quick. Unless you literally live in downtown Chicago, LA, Philadelphia, or Detroit.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Thanks. I’m in downtown DC, but in a safe part. Regardless, I’m just hoping she’s ok and will try checking up on her tomorrow before I head out of town.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I was gonna give a boring story about how I am still up only to wait til a friend gets off work at bar close. Your reason for being awake is better, well worse. I hope everything turns out ok and somehow this was just a string of misunderstandings.

Unsurprised

Agent Carter was pretty amusing. It’s a shame Agents of SHIELD is hot garbage and I couldn’t care less about the DC shows for the most part.

http://36.media.tumblr.com/ea6ac574568bcd42d4dd005089ab9f3a/tumblr_o1zbc1yZOY1qg1fdbo1_1280.jpg

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Agent Carter did get really good this year. I wasn’t a huge fan last year

Unsurprised

Honestly, though, I’m a much bigger fan of Dottie than of Agent Carter.

I actually prefer her as Black Widow to ScarJo, and I hope she shows up in the future since their aging is flexible.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
packman_jon

I watched season 1 of Gotham and some of the current season. It’s…interesting. The biggest problem is that there’s generally three stories going on in one episode so it’s difficult to get really invested.

Unsurprised
WCS

It was 66 in North Yinzburgh on Monday. It’s 23 today.

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/2663706/thumbs/o-LOUSY-SMARCH-WEATHER-570.jpg

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

We got 6″ of snow yesterday that I had to shovel even though I correctly called it would be melted by today anyways.

WCS

Hello? Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me. Is anyone home?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

::nod::

WCS

Unsurprised

Yo!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Pretty sure it is a dinosaur. We should kill it just to be sure

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

The Gang gives Frank an Intervention, The World Series Defense or The D.E.N.N.I.S. System?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes….?
There’s rarely a bad choice. Close your eyes and throw a dart.
http://cdn.funnie.st/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia-meme-.19.jpg

packman_jon

mother of god

theeWeeBabySeamus

A Bad Lipreading Walking Dead musical number.
(I don’t know why but the Bad Lipreadings never fail to make me chuckle)
La bibbida bibba dum…la bibbida dibby do
Thanks for nothing George Lucas…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SV1d6PXD4D8

theeWeeBabySeamus
Senor Weaselo

Thunder-Clippers no longer makes sense.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Her makeup counter is moderately cluttered. Would not bang.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, that’s rather pleasant to look at, isn’t it?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I started to watch Red vs Blue s12 again, but really not in the mood for it. Thinking Futurama, Sunny or Firefly. Any show/ep suggestions?

WCS

Always Sunny, The Great Recession

theeWeeBabySeamus

Still gotta watch tonight’s. Trying to decide whether to go ahead or wait until tomorry.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

“Ever since the recession hit, waves of new people are suddenly broke, these people have no idea how to live without money. They are what is called new poor. We’re old poor”

“They could stand to learn a lesson or two from us because we would never take our homelessness and shove it down everybodys face”

“Have some class if you are gonna be poor”

Unsurprised

I want to staple this to every bum in Portland.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Evening all…
comment image

WCS

Congrats on your last-second win over a team that didn’t win a conference game!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I actually just finished watching it on dvr delay.
Time well spent? No, not so much.
More relieved we managed to (barely) not screw the pooch vs BC, than I am happy we got a win. Interestingly, there is a difference.
Fortunately, I turned full control of my sports emotions over to the baseball program as of about 2 weeks ago. It’ll be a couple months at least before they shatter my soul….again.
/glass half full

ballsofsteelandfury

There is something fascinating about this.

Unsurprised

It’s Space Ape. What do you need explaining?

theeWeeBabySeamus

See, that’s why you don’t bring gorillas onto the space station.

Unsurprised

Given the cost to lift even one pound into orbit, that has to be in the running for the world’s most expensive prank.