King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Sill Bimmons

Sorry about Pitt.

They’re shit.

jjfozz

Notre Dame wins, which means I don’t have to go to mass this Sunday. hoofuckingray!

montythisseemsstrangetome

(spoiler alert) you don’t have to go to mass any Sunday.

scotchnaut

Old Man Yells At Lawn?

Goose Gossage ripped Joey Bats for flipping his surname and the damn NERDS! are ruining the game, what with their maths and slide rules and such.

/tried to link but I’m something of a failure…

scotchnaut

I swear I didn’t read Deadspin today.

Croooow

And baseball seriously wonders why popularity continues to go down?

...

It was a hell of an old man rant.

Of course, this is the guy who when pitching to his ten year old son decided to nail him in the thigh with a fastball because his son couldn’t adjust to hit an outside pitch.

So… anger issues?

Croooow

Iowa just choked to fucking Illinois. And, to think, people were talking of them as a #1 seed and playing a NCAA tournament game in Des Moines.

WCS

That sound you just heard was Fek exploding Champaign, IL.

Croooow

I can confirm the TAEKZ on local sports talk are very strong.

WCS

It’ll be Dook. Just accept it now.

Unsurprised

They don’t deserve the dignity of a child-rape joke.

More hateable:

a. Duke Basketball or
b. Notre Dame Football.

WCS

Yes

Beerguyrob

SO TORN!

WCS


The right cola for closure.

nomonkeyfun

I just learned that Mark Sanchez will be attending the State dinner Obama is giving for Justin Trudeau on Thursday.
I hope the President locks up Sasha, she is the Sanchise’s favorite age.

Unsurprised

There’s a Secret Service agent assigned to keep a gun pressed against his back for the whole dinner.

WCS

Nacho’s Secret Service nickname is “Chmura.”

Beerguyrob

As long as she stays in front of him, like a receiver, she should have no problem avoiding his gaze.

Get back to work you god-damned cunts.

Well, fuck me.

Unsurprised

Ah, capitalism DOES work.

...

Hey, I may be a goddamned cunt, but I sure as hell don’t work.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it NIT time already?

WCS

Syracuse has secured the No. 1 seed in the East region!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What’s up my NITter?

WCS

Don’t know if any of heard this week’s Deadcast, but Big Daddy Drew and Marchman channel our DFO: Request Line from a couple weeks back, debating which air instrument is the best air instrument.

I’m sure Moose will post this same thing in a few hours, get a lot more responses, and I can get butthurt again. 🙂

herodotus450
WCS

Well, that’s, uh… that’s certainly an Asian man wearing a Hello Kitty chest plate air guitaring.

laserguru

I saw that too. I think Drew is a lurker here. After one of my earlier Sunday Gravy posts I mentioned that you never EVER want to drop a bottle of sesame oil and sure enough in the next Funbag he made mention of a grocery store clerk not being available because he was cleaning up a broken bottle of sesame oil.

Coincidence?

Hi Drew!
Still love your work!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m sure this was posted by WCS, but I’ll be an ASSHAT and post it again because it is fucking hilarious (apologies to Otto’s Brain):

http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/chiefs-docked-draft-picks-for-tampering-with-2015-free-agent-jeremy-maclin/ar-AAgAz9A?fdhead=HP-GBL-HP-IP-NA&OCID=ansmsnnews11

They lost me after saying “While we respect Commissioner Goodell…”

Beerguyrob

WOO BAYLOR!

Unsurprised

I miss getting to watch UNM play in the WAC/MWC games and NCAA tournament during school.

Unsurprised

Sorry for the non-sequitur but I have no other place to toss this out. It hit me last night that Trump could sell the fuck out of his Mexican wall if he paired it with “and then we legalize drugs.”

Beerguyrob

“‘Trump’ stands for the finest in American home grown marijuana. If it weren’t the best, I wouldn’t put my name on it.”

Unsurprised

I give it six months.

jjfozz

Read a scary as fuck article in latest Rolling Stone about this puddle of shit and how he could become POTUS.

ThePirateSloth

Dry run you say?

comment image

blaxabbath

Arizona is playing their quarterfinal game against Colorado this afternoon. Not interesting. Is interesting, however, is that Sean Miller had to stop doing commercials for Carondolet Health Care when Arizona formally partnered with Banner Health because his deal with Carondolet would be a “conflict of interest”. However, UA President Ann Hart (who, disclaimer, is a horrible rent-a-administrator who only has this job because she is a woman) recently took a position on the DeVry board of directors and it was rubber stamped by the state board of regents.

I made a Fire Ann Hart tee that I wear to every UA sporting event I attend and it always gets positive responses.

Horatio Cornblower

I hope they don’t put DeVry University in the same bracket as Bovine University this year. You’d have to be a Grade A moron to make that mistake again!

Beerguyrob

I’m a Nittany Tide man myself.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dammit Pitt…YOU HAD ONE JOB!!!!

Beerguyrob

So did Georgetown.

/feels icky just typing that

Unsurprised

The scrolling text jokes aren’t getting old, but the banner quote is getting a bit ripe.

laserguru

You know, I was thinking the same thing.
I just sent up the bat signal at the secret underground DFO lair for update suggestions.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The banner pic is SFW tho.

Horatio Cornblower

Even I’m not going to argue against a new banner quote.

As long as it’s one of mine.

jjfozz

Scrolling text jokes? on this site? huh?

nomonkeyfun

Scrotum text jokes I’ve seen many times.

laserguru

And the decline of Western civilization has accelerated.
Jesus fuck this is hideous.

http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/201621/rs_600x600-160301095220-600-Cadbury-Creme-Egg-McFlurry_copy.jpg

...

Undoubtedly, those are the shitty American version of creme eggs, too.

Unsurprised

Indeed. This would be a great thing if they weren’t already shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What makes the US product shitty? Where do the “best” crème eggs come from? I know nothing of this big controversy.

...

The originals are made in the U.K. and the U.S. version are made by Hershey’s using (and this is not just my opinion) inferior chocolate.

You also can’t legally sell the international version in this country, so even if wanted to pay more for the original Cadbury recipe, you can’t.

Unsurprised

You can import them, but the Hershey’s ones are already stupidly overpriced.

laserguru

I think it’s an English import. Somehow the US makes their own and the purists say they fucked it up

I’m not too into the controversy it’s just, and I may be in the minority here, I really hate those fucking cream eggs and one of the things I hate even more is McDonalds.
Lose lose, baby!

Unsurprised

The thing is, the Hershey’s ones used to be a different recipe that was just better chocolate (not that white, chalky shit). So beyond international inferiority, it’s just the typical decline in quality of American workmanship.

Beerguyrob

I’m going to assume that we will hear from an already day-drinking WCS about 15 minutes before the TCU-West Virginny game.

jjfozz

Another parenting win, Fozz style.

Mrs Fozz: “So how are the Terps doing?”
Oldest Fozz Spawn: “They went right into the shitter.”

What could I say? He was right. The Terps are in the shitter, actually they’re beneath the shitter headed towards the sewers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Shitter is the accepted and correct English term for Port-a-potties, outhouses, and lone toilet installations (you’ve seen them).

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sooooo….pretty much where they belong.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s good parentin’

Unsurprised

— EVERYONE

Unsurprised

I’m glad no one took the pandering bait this time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

See what blasphemy Duke made you do!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nobody who have Dook and Noter Damn is an asshole, more like a SAINT.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*hate
**HATE

jjfozz

Here’s hoping someone runs Grayson Allen’s cheating, piece-of-shit face right into the fucking pole.