Sweet madre de Christ, did anyone else have these donuts in the local grocery store growing up? What a cherished, delicious binge and shame trip down memory lane this picture takes me down.

3S Miami vs. 2S Villanova (7:10, CBS)

A highly intriguing game, by my standards. Two methodical coaches, two sides that kind of get overlooked, for different reasons. I think Da U’s da toughness inside will be the difference, though if Nova shoots from outside like it did the first weekend, they are pretty much unbeatable.

3W Texas A&M vs. 2W Oklahoma (7:37, TBS)

Damn it, why did they have to schedule the TWO GAMES I AM MOST INTERESTED IN for the same fucking window? Team Bonfire Cult is living on borrowed time, after their bananas comeback, 2OT win over the Fightin’ Kurt Warners. Oklahoma has the lethal look a potential national champion to me (spoiler alert, if’n I had the slightest bit of prognostication ability), but this could be a tough game for them.

5S Maryland vs. 1S Kansas (9:40, CBS)

Maryland is REALLY lucky that Hawaii shot like total ass in the 2nd half. Because the Turtles otherwise played like, really fucking terrible. Hopefully, they bring the other half of their schizo selves, or the Hippo TV gets turned of super early. Kansas bores me to death.

4W Duke vs. 1W Oregon (10:07, TBS)

It’s nauseating that anyone has to win this game, though it’s of some comfort that Boomer Sooner should wipe their asses with either. I ain’t staying up to reluctantly cheer for a bunch of rape enablers, or possibly see fucking Ted Cruz, Jr. prevail. Huzzah for the Ducks cheerleading squadron, though.