Flacco Eight Preview/Game Thread (Sunday Edition)

Yes, I’m recycling the picture. I don’t care enough about today’s games to try very hard. Take it out of my paycheck.

10MW Syracuse vs. 1MW Virginia (6:09, TBS)

Fun fact – when these two teams played in the regular season, I am 95% sure that the game didn’t even make it to TV at all in North Cakalaky (regional split on the ACCN). Usually, WRAL shows the secondary game on its SD channel, but they didn’t even bother for this unwatchable turd. And this is now your regional final. Again…unflavored ice milk FOAR TEH PEOPLES.

6E Notre Dame vs. 1E U*NC (8:49, TBS)

At one point, the cheaters had a surprisingly tough road to the Final Four. Then, both Kentucky and West By God Virginia got upset. FUCK EVERYTHING.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, no offense, but neither should her lips just this side of collagen and “botox death” and shit like that. Not even gonna address those saline bags she call “tits”.
Where you fuckers at?
Oh fuck Yinz.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SM3jgkChV6M

Unsurprised

Fair enough.

Unsurprised

Because that abomination shouldn’t be at the top comment.
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Wakezilla

Seriously, this is what Barry fucking Allen looked like in B v S:

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Just he had a pony tail in the movie and looked more of a pedo. I don’t know who is writing Justice League’s script, but, the pressure is on to make Barry Allen to be DC’s Movie Universe equivalence of Sinbad. Seriously, they couldn’t find someone willing to somewhat resemble Barry Allen?

Unsurprised

Jesus Fucking God.

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

I have nothing to talk about and no one else to talk to, so hello everybody.

WCS
Wakezilla

I went and saw Batman v Superman today. It was an decent movie that could have been great if it was executed better. I thought Cavill, Gadot and Affleck did a good job with their characters. Synder is to blame for this one. I’m just happy they didn’t make Superman a little bitch, which the trailers were implying.

Mad Scientist Lex Luthor, I can get past, but, Ezra Miller’s Flash is an abomination.

Even just having Batman/Superman fight at the beginning with Wonder Woman stepping in to stop the madness, and they team up to figure out what Luthor is up to would have made the film a lot better.

Beerguyrob

Felt the same way. It was like Snyder felt Alan Moore wasn’t going to yell at him this time, so let’s include everything!

Wakezilla

Funny you should mention Alan Moore, but, I felt like Snyder was trying to make Batman like Alan Moore’s Rorschach who was trying to Rorschach like Frank Miller’s Batman.

/Cue Christopher Nolan’s Inception dream within a dream BRAHMMMMM.

/Hopes to the Easter Bunny that Batman’s inception dream with the Flash is false. I really don’t want an Injustice movie.

Unsurprised

How do you fuck up The Flash?

Beerguyrob

My making him into an emo kid with a conscience.

Unsurprised

I refuse to believe that anyone in a Snyder movie has a conscience.

Beerguyrob

C’mon – they’re DC hero characters. The Lawful Good of the comic universe. (Except Lobo)

Unsurprised

Pa Kent wanted Clark to let a bus full of kids die to keep him from revealing his powers in Man of Steel.

No. Fuck that. His movies are unconscionably bad.

Beerguyrob

Can’t argue that one.

Wakezilla

Pa Kent was my only complaint with Man of Steel. Even then, I can still see where Pa Kent is coming from when Supes’ story is told in contemporary society. Ultimately, Pa Kent was right. Stuff happens in B v S that also re-enforces how right Pa Kent was.

Unsurprised

Oh my God, that makes BvS so much worse.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I just wanna say that listening to Andrew Lincoln and Lennie James (both Brits) doing shitty southern accents has become second nature. But still way funny.
Rick….stop the killing, stop the madness.
Morgan…..stop being a pussy and killz somebody already.
Such a dichotomy of feelingz.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Rick getting all hubris-y n shit ain’t he?

Senor Weaselo

Why did the news show me CIT highlights?

WCS

Sadly, I not only know what the CIT is, I was passively following it. One of my employers actually made the quarterfinals.

/shows self out

Senor Weaselo
WCS

Beerguyrob

Spaz…Spaz…Spaz…

WCS

After all of the utter insanity in the first two rounds, the Final Four consists of UNC, Villanova, Oklahoma, and “Cinderella” Syracuse.

I want a refund.

Covalent Blonde

Having been taken out by fucking Hawaii, I concur.

WCS

Or Stephen F. Austin and Middle Tennessee State. Oh, and Villanova. Years later, Philly Big 5 still chapping my ass.

Porky Prime

I can’t wait til this seasons finale of Walking Dead. I’ll be glued to Netflix sometime in 2017. Damn you paycheck!

WCS

Indeed; it’s been… eventful.

herodotus450

Have there been any zombie killings? I gave up somewhere in the middle of season one when I realized I’d got Lost’d and the show was really about “characters” instead of FUCKING ZOMBIES AND KILLING WOOOO1\!

WCS

I hear ya. I very nearly bailed after Season Two. It’s gotten much better; this season has been pretty kick-ass.

Porky Prime

I’m a big fat liar. I’ve seen like four episodes ever. I just wanted to be one of the cool kids. There are probably like twenty high profile shows in my lifetime where I only watched the series finale.

WCS

For your sake, I hope two of them were Breaking Bad and Joey.

I’m only joking about one of those.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed….Joey was the shit.

Porky Prime

Breaking Bad was one of them.

Friends
Seinfeld
St. Elsewhere
Sopranos
Star Trek (Voyager and Enterprise)
The Wire
ER

WCS

No Brickleberry?! You, sir, have not lived. Daniel Tosh said it was a terrific, hilarious show! He would never lie!

Sill Bimmons

Dee was in Brickleberry…

http://brickleberry.org/actors/kaitlin.jpg

WCS

The amount of comedic talent wasted on that bloody piss of a show is Ishtarish.

Wakezilla

This season has been really hit and miss. I thought the worst episode they’ve ever done happened 2 or 3 episodes ago.

Porky Prime

Anyone need an Easter movie the whole family can enjoy?
http://rymimg.com/lk/o/F/7db0572b0ef7a36a65ea5b5b29b446f1/1145654.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sir, I am skeptical.

WCS

Don T

After seeing this movie, my mouth remained agape for years.
-Roger Ebert

Gratliff

This deserves more love.

Duchess

Isnt this the one with the unsimulated sex scene?

WCS

You got it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK…last annoying Jesus, at least for the moment.
It’s….ZOMBIE TIME!!!!!!
http://i.pinger.pl/pgr473/96f236970017f88a4bd99a1e/1272470318933.png

Duchess

So interesting thing I found out about my switch from cable to directv… I now have a channel thats is 24/7 infomercials and in between the infomercials are commercials. The channel is not called Clickbait or Uproxx.

Sill Bimmons

BUZZFEEDFOMERCIALANNEL

theeWeeBabySeamus

As a long time DirecTV subscriber, let me assure you that there’s way more than just one of those channels.

Senor Weaselo

Well, they need the East and West Coast versions of that channel.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Beerguyrob

It worked on Kendra Sutherland.

Unsurprised

OSU doesn’t really count as “college.”

Croooow

I guess God hates Notre Dame.

theeWeeBabySeamus

He gon’ get whacked now fo’ sho’.
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Sill Bimmons

PAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL IZZZZZZZZZZZZ GAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

http://www2.alibris-static.com/isbn/9781575871417.gif

Duchess

Catholics aren’t Christians just dressed up pagan polytheists who call their different gods “Saints”.

Sill Bimmons
Senor Weaselo

The Classical XM radio station was a whole lot of Bach for the occasion. Here’s Senor’s violin edumactin’ of the day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hit350W3IGI

theeWeeBabySeamus

I do love me some classical.
Yeah, I know you’re all surprised the redneck has any culture…fuck off.

Duchess

Hey we all know rednecks have culture… just most think it is bacterial.

Porky Prime

Hey, I hear tell you redneck boys love some fiddlin.

Chicken in the breadpan, pickin out dough,
Granny do your dog bite, no chile no.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO…you can all eat the whole bag of dicks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTc1mDieQI8

Senor Weaselo

For the record, that fugue is my single-favorite movement of the six solo sonatas and partitas, even over the spiritual entity that is the chaccone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7Diaf6Wyms

Porky Prime

http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsG/19093-16953.gif

Not Jesus, but voice of a God nonetheless.

Porky Prime
Sill Bimmons

COULDNT AGREE MOAR

Porky Prime

Damm you links!

WCS

that’s gude internettin’

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Porky Prime

This is the best out of this series.

Wakezilla

The best story never told in church or in the bible, but was at one point, is when Jesus went to hell and kicked the ever loving shit out of Satan.

Senor Weaselo

Evening all. I spent much of my afternoon and evening playing a wedding. And then I walk in the door and the Rangers pull off the close second to the signature “Give up GTG in the last 20 seconds and lose in OT,” the ol’ “give up the GWG in the last 30 seconds of OT because ROW tiebreaker potential.” And Syracuse won. Box seats suck, everybody sucks.

How are all of you?

Porky Prime

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Covalent Blonde

Did raptor jesus have the audacity to upstage their nuptials?

Covalent Blonde

Methinks the Irish won’t be finding them an Orangemen-level second wind..

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, pardon the expression….but they blew their wad catching up the first time.

Covalent Blonde

Especially when they put up free throws as well as I do.

The Maestro

dafuq is this

Gratliff

And here I figured Squidbillies was required viewing for all DFO types.

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

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Duchess

I think people are voting for Cruz because he will bring us one step closer to the apocalypse which in their minds mean JC will be coming back sooner rather than later.

Sill Bimmons

At least half.

Gratliff

I can just not wrap my mind around conservatives hearing Rafael Cruz’s immigration story, finding it inspirational, and then immediately turn around and shout “NO MORE FOREIGNERS EVER FROM ANYWHERE!”

Sill Bimmons

IOKIYAR

Gratliff

I love that it took less than a season for the super exciting 3-on-3 overtimes to devolve into 5 minute turtle matches.

WCS

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THE SMOOTHIE BAR IS CLOSED TONIGHT

Sill Bimmons

MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3309/3568979152_4821a586d1.jpg

Porky Prime

Do you require a payment to provide instruction?

Sill Bimmons

Indeed I must.

736 Schrute Bucks

http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/theoffice/images/f/fa/SchruteBuck.jpg/

oar

50 Gritcoins

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Sill Bimmons
Duchess

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, Carolina. Keep fucking up. I knew you could do it.

Gratliff

Ah, good. We’ve reached the point in the season where the announcers openly admit the teams are just holding off until they get their bettman point. Fuck’s sakes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Sill Bimmons

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herodotus450

If theyre was no christ then why dous he call it the “frist CHRISTian centurly”? chek mate,,,

ballsofsteelandfury

Also, we are using a “professor” at UNC as an academic reference? SMDH.

herodotus450

At least we can assume that he was, probably, educated somewhere besides unc and only works there.

herodotus450

Or, in the time it took to make these two comments I could’ve looked it up online and actually figured it out.

Sill Bimmons
ArmedandHammered

They have never found any copies of the Roman Weekly World news.

Covalent Blonde

Did everyone else just have the same nightmare stroke I just did with that anthropomorphic basketball?

ballsofsteelandfury

I think I’ve found what caused yesterday’s hijinks!

Beerguyrob

Walking Dead. So. Much. Tension.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m on a 2 hour delay tonight…..NO SPOILERS!!!!!

Beerguyrob

There is a two minute overrun. Be ready!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Checking, checking….
Whew….DirecTV knew that ahead of time. That DirecTV is pretty smart other than not being able outsmart rain and shit.

Beerguyrob

That’s all I’m saying.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The way this game appears to be headed, it might turn out to only be about a 90 minute delay.
Fuck You, Carolina Dickbags.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS

Sill Bimmons

Pens — Rags game disciplined as fuck.

Gratliff

It wouldn’t be an NHL game, if it didn’t shit all over playoff positioning with as many bettman points as possible