Your Slimmed Down Easter Monday Open Thread

Did anyone else have a paid stat today? WHOO HOO! Gub’mint jorbs are the bestest!

With that tack comes a slow news & sports day.

With Easter (or, for that matter, any kid-centred holiday) comes your usual reminder that parents are the worst.

Thirty-one days until the draft! Which means, a month of anticipating who the Browns will elect to ruin! The only interesting free agency news today is that the Dolphins are going to kick the tires on Arian Foster.

Viewing-wise, there’s less than 10 games to go in the NBA & NHL seasons. Only one Canadian team is going to be in the playoffs, and – funny enough – it’ll be basketball. The only thing on the horizon is baseball, the Masters and the Derby.

Games that matter: (all times eastern)

NHL: 8 games total

  • Jets @ Flyers – 7:00
  • Sabres @ Red Wings – 7:30
  • Kings @ Sharks – 10:00

NBA: 10 games total

  • Thunder @ Raptors – 7:30
  • Spurs @ Grizzlies – 8:00
  • Celtics @ Clippers – 10:30

NCAA Women’s Flacco Eight:

  • #2 Texas vs #1 UConn – 7:00
  • #2 Oregon State vs #1 Baylor – 9:00

Enjoy your week waiting for the Final Four. NOTRE DAME – YOU HAD ONE JOB!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, if I’m gonna make the golf course tomorrow it’s time to try to get some zzzzzzz’s.
(Still holding the club wrong, still totally forgive her)
http://www.sobrepar.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Girls_of_Golf_27.jpg

Wakezilla

She looks like she’s about to tee off in the direction of her sexy foursome (giggity).

Have fun drinking and golfing!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t try this at home, I’m a trained profess…..AWWW SHIIIITTT!!!!!!
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Wakezilla

My favorite part is when his face hits the pavement and he probably ends up with a jaw wired shut.

Unsurprised

I assume this was written by a a Trump supporter.
http://i.imgur.com/39MzPdl.jpg

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

And this position we call….aww fuck…fractured coccyx. TURN THE CAMERA OFF!!!!!
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Wakezilla

My biggest fears as a soon to be father of a girl. . . having a camera in her room and doing shit like this. . . among other things.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Totes understandable.

WCS

Hehehe.. “cock sex.”

Unsurprised
Wakezilla

Brooklyn doesn’t acknowledge Evil Emma’s existence and then cheer’s Eva Marie’s theme song? You’re dead to me, Brooklyn!

Wakezilla

Pretty much. I don’t think I’ve ever been this bored going into a Wrestlemania.

Wakezilla

Oh yeah. He sounds defeated and burned out. Dude needs to cut back on some of his wrestling B&W’s.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes honey, everybody’s doing it. Yes, I’m sure….completely safe.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/3444298bac8bf48aac430f1c4c604e51/tumblr_nakx1gFwZB1tje7szo1_400.gif

WCS

Husband: “…and that’s how mommy got her concussion.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

And fractured C5 and C6. WOOOO TRACTION!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

This one, I’m just wondering what this guy realistically thought the best case would be? No offense, but he was never clearing that net even with a hella updraft.
http://illuzio.cafeblog.hu/files/2015/07/135.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

No brakes…no brakes…no brakes!!!!!!
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Unsurprised

What the Hell? Why?

theeWeeBabySeamus

No idea. It’s not like he couldn’t see it coming from way back.
Trying to be a time and then no brakes was my presumption.

theeWeeBabySeamus

*beat

theeWeeBabySeamus

Too much collagen. Will bang, but I won’t be happy about it.

Wakezilla

Banged Cristiano Ronaldo. Probably has HPV, herpes and a ton of other STDs. Also has uneven eyebrows. 3/10, Would not bang.

Unsurprised

Fuck you all.

Covalent Blonde

I mean, I would think about it, but I much prefer a girl with a practical sense in shoes.

… and also not littered with STIs

theeWeeBabySeamus

Now, for the maiden flight of this cheap ass Styrofoam glider…..INCOMING!!!!
http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/gif-fail-plane-737408.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Step 1: Don’t face towards that big assed wall.
Step 2: See Step 1.
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WCS

Step 3: Don’t ride a dirtbike

theeWeeBabySeamus

Commie.

Covalent Blonde

Good night, you sexy sons of bitches! I have a hot date with dreams of a Stanley Cup parade in downtown San Jose.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sleep well you poor delusional human.

Wakezilla

Even in your dreams, the Stanley Cup parade goes through downtown San Jose because it’s the Kings trolling Sharks fans.

Good night!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Audioslave – Like a Stone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QU1nvuxaMA

WCS

Wakezilla

That’s how you get pinkeye.

Covalent Blonde

More like stinkeye, amirite?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’ll take that bet.

Croooow

Women’s Tournament Final Four: UConn, Washington, Oregon State, Syracuse. Actually kinda cool to see some fresh faces make it that far (Even if UConn will likely end up winning it all anyway).