Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Round 3

I always enjoy the odd-numbered rounds more than the even-numbered ones.  I’m not sure why.  Around round three is where teams begin to differentiate themselves and you can start to tell who will be good, bad, really good, and really bad.  This glorious in-depth analysis you can’t get anywhere else (not with dick jokes anyway), a new AFL star to meet, and assorted other goodies are on tap this week.

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

The guys in the picture above do a weekly web show (and now a post-game show on TV in Australia after each Friday Night Footy game) on the AFL website.  They are very funny and if I can somehow figure out a way to embed the video, I will do so.  Last year’s videos are on YouTube but so far I haven’t seen any for this season.  In any case, they do a great job reviewing the previous week’s games, looking at the stories of the week, and previewing the weekend games. Sam and Andy are Carlton fans and Mick is a Richmond supporter, so you know there is a lot of comedy there.  I highly recommend watching them.  Here’s a link to where the AFL uploads the videos.

As you may or may not notice, the show is sponsored by Carlton Beer and the guys actively DRINK the beer during the show without the world exploding.  Imagine that!  Also, if you can, try to imagine another web show sponsored by a gambling website where three guys discuss the games for the week, pick a winner, and keep a running total.  Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?  Also, imagine that show being hosted by the AFL website.  Sounds awesome, doesn’t it?

Oh well, it’s nice to dream.  Reasons # 824 and # 290 that the AFL is run better than the NFL.

So, what happened on the field this week?  Well, we start off with the aforementioned Friday Night Footy (Friday morning here in North America) with the Port Adelaide Power hosting the Essendon Bombers who were fresh off their unexpected victory over the Melbourne Demons.  Unfortunately,

And in Essendon colors too!

and the Bombers fell to the Power by 61.  Here’s a flavor of how Port dominated the game:

This is probably a better example.  The Power’s rookie, Darcy Byrne-Jones, crashes into his teammate, knocks him TFO, and then proceeds to score his first AFL goal:

On North American Friday night, a full slate of five games started with the eagerly-anticipated (by certain members of the Commentist Party) clash between Collingwood and St. Kilda.  The Saints were looking to show that they were not as bad as their 0-2 start indicated while the Magpies were trying to build on last week’s thrilling win against Richmond.  The game was close and tough during the first half as the Saints held a slim lead at the break.  Despite losing multiple stars to injuries, St. Kilda pulled away in the third and cruised to a 29 point win.

Here is an example of the hard work and determination that St. Kilda showed in getting the win.  Patrick McCartin outjumps two defenders and one of his own guys to get the mark in front of goal:

Almost simultaneously, Richmond hosted the Adelaide Crows at the Etihad. The Crows showed their class as they broke the game open in the second quarter on their way to a six-goal victory.  The Tigers did some good things

but the Crows did more, including my fave, Eddie Betts, who can not only score, but can tackle as well!

I like this highlight for how loud the Tigers’ fans are booing:

A little bit later, the first of the two derbies of the Round started with the Sydney Swans taking on the GWS Giants at the SCG.  This was going to show whether the Giants were for real after last week’s win over Geelong. The Giants showed great heart in fighting back from a first half deficit to keep the game close, but the Swans were able to outplay them in the second and went on to win by 25.

This, apparently, was the week for teammates taking out teammates…

The Giants played hard,

but the young Swans, who are now looking like legitimate Grand Final contenders, were too much to overcome.

In other news, I really hope that Super Bowl win was worth it, King Hippo, because your Carlton Blues are…

 

The Blues fell to the now 3-0 (!) Gold Coast Suns 95-41. Even a gift goal courtesy of the man in pink,

who was too close to the action, was not enough for the Blues to overcome the Suns who are now, very surprisingly, in a solid top four spot.  In my preview, I thought the Suns would do well if they could develop the youth, but I never dreamed top four.  There is a lot of footy left, for sure, but this is a very pleasant surprise indeed.  Here is a nice highlight on the Suns’ side showing the hustle and pressure that has them undefeated:

The second derby of the Round ended the Friday night/Saturday morning slate with the Fremantle Dockers trying desperately to salvage their season against the West Coast Eagles. To which the Eagles strongly replied,

in beating the Dockers by 33.  To be fair, the Dockers did start out well, played tough, and actually held the lead through the first half.  The Eagles, however, were able to close the gap and take over the game after the Dockers’ Aaron Sandilands suffered a collapsed lung and left the field to go to the hospital in the second quarter:

He is ok, but will miss some matches for the reeling Dockers that are now 0-3 after claiming the #1 regular season spot last year.

Matthew Pavlich tried his best to keep the Dockers in it

but new Eagle Lewis Jetta, who played for Sydney last year, made sure the Eagles would win this version of the Perth derby.

***

This

WTF is up with that tooth?!?

is Sydney Swans star Lance “Buddy” Franklin. Before joining the Swans in 2014, he had been a two-time champion with the Hawthorn Hawks with a Grand Final appearance losing, ironically, to the Swans in 2012. In 2014, he lost the Grand Final with Sydney playing against his former team, the Hawks. Last year, he was set to lead the Swans yet again to the Grand Final when he left the team right as finals were about to start to deal with a mental health problem.  He missed the rest of the post-season and the Swans failed to make the Grand Final.  While he has sought help and is seemingly back in a good place, it is something he deals with on a daily basis. He is lucky in that he has the support of his family, the club, and friends.  A good thing that has also come out of this is that he has shone a spotlight on mental health in Australia and has, hopefully, helped to change how that issue is addressed.  So far this year, he has played brilliantly in all three games for the Swans.  I’m hoping he continues to do well as he seems like a good person and the club has done the right thing by standing by him and supporting him.

***

North American Saturday Night was highly satisfying for me as I got to see two really good games and then Geelong went out and took care of business against the Lions.  It all started with North Melbourne “hosting” the Melbourne Demons in Hobart, Tasmania.  As you may remember from last year, the Kangaroos have an arrangement where they play some of their home games in Tasmania.  This time, the crowd was treated to a hell of a game as the Kangaroos ran out to a seemingly insurmountable 42 point lead in the first quarter.  Shockingly, Melbourne did not fold and came all the way back to lead in the second and third quarters!  North came back in the fourth and everything was super tense as the game wound down.

Melbourne will rue the missed opportunities in the last two minutes as they fell, just barely, to North by a final score of 136-131.  This was a brilliant game that was exciting and really hard-fought. As much as I hate the Demons, I have to give them credit.  They played really well and Jesse Hogan is the real deal.  He may be the next AFL superstar.

Well, you may ask, how do you top that?  May I present to you the last two minutes of Western-Hawthorn?

This was another wild game in which one team, Hawthorn, took a large lead just for the other, Western, to not only erase it, but grab a lead of their own.  The final quarter was back and forth with the lead changing several times until the last goal of the night gave the Hawks the win.  Much like the Demons, the Doggies have to be kicking themselves for missed opportunities to put the game away.  In any case, it was a great game of footy.  You might even say the night was

and that’s before we even get to the topping on my personal footy sundae, Geelong’s destruction of the Brisbane Lions by 69

Here is an example of some good teamwork resulting in a Cats goal:

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

PLACE TEAM G W T L % POINTS
1 Sydney Swans 3 3 0 0 185.90 12
2 Gold Coast Suns 3 3 0 0 170.10 12
3 North Melbourne Kangaroos 3 3 0 0 115.80 12
4 Western Bulldogs 3 2 0 1 171.30 8
5 Geelong Cats 3 2 0 1 137.20 8
6 Adelaide Crows 3 2 0 1 129.50 8
7 West Coast Eagles 3 2 0 1 119.60 8
8 Port Adelaide Power 3 2 0 1 112.20 8
9 Hawthorn Hawks 3 2 0 1 107.30 8
10 Melbourne Demons 3 1 0 2 94.60 4
11 GWS Giants 3 1 0 2 94.40 4
12 Richmond Tigers 3 1 0 2 90.60 4
13 St Kilda Saints 3 1 0 2 80.70 4
14 Collingwood Magpies 3 1 0 2 68.00 4
15 Essendon Bombers 3 1 0 2 63.70 4
16 Fremantle Dockers 3 0 0 3 61.40 0
17 Carlton Blues 3 0 0 3 61.30 0
18 Brisbane Lions 3 0 0 3 59.10 0

As you can see, the top 9 seem to be much much better than the bottom nine.  Next week may present an opportunity for this gap to widen. Here is next week’s schedule with all times Pacific:

Friday April 15

West Coast Eagles v Richmond at Subiaco Oval (3.10 AM)

Essendon v Geelong at MCG (8.45pm)

Hawthorn v St Kilda at Aurora Stadium (9.10pm)

Brisbane Lions v Gold Coast Suns at Gabba (11.35pm)

Saturday, April 16

Carlton v Western Bulldogs at Etihad Stadium (2.25 AM)

Adelaide v Sydney Swans at Adelaide Oval (2.40 AM)

GWS Giants v Port Adelaide at StarTrack Oval (8.10pm)

Collingwood v Melbourne at MCG (10.20pm)

North Melbourne v Fremantle at Etihad Stadium (11.40pm)

I also have an important programming note:  Since I will be in Dallas visiting a friend next weekend, the AFL Beat will be delayed until the Tuesday after.  Probably the best match in Round 4 is the clash between the Sydney Swans and Adelaide Crows in Adelaide although the Pies-Demons match at the MCG looks to be quite competitive and good too.  See you in a week and a half!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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WCS

It’s not like Willett was a total “holy shit, where did this come from” kind of win. The dude has four wins on the European Tour, including one last year. He also had a shit load of top-25 and top-10 finishes leading up to this. He was ranked 12th in the world. Now, he’s in The Masters for life, and in the US Open, Open Championship, and PGA until 2021 guaranteed. Not bad for a dude whose wife just gave birth to their first kid last week.

We all should be so lucky.

/drinks fifth gin and tonic of the night

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Mr. Ayo

Why are you keeping count?
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

For the record, I wasn’t being facetious in The Masters preview (https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2016/04/06/a-tradition-unlike-any-other-barf/) when I said one of the big names wouldn’t win. Saying Danny Willett was a completely random event when I tossed out him there, as an example of being one of those guys 96% of people hadn’t heard of.

I should’ve taken my own advice, and put some money on him.

I’d like the Dok to run a statiscal analysis of the chances of that happening.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not gifing….

WCS

Sup, bitches?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS

That’s not fair, man.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

Opera is DONE. My neck and shoulders are thankful.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I just watched an episode of Flight of the Conchords whilst on a plane. A) I really want to land and get some food and B) that was a really good show.

theeWeeBabySeamus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukW4VVCV9LQ
(you will nevar find better lyrics written to a previously existing tune than this)
We are Geelong, the greatest team of all
We are Geelong; we’re always on the ball
We play the game as it should be played
At home or far away
Our banners fly high, from dawn to dark
Down at Kardinia Park

A close second….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXId5jOTxdg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Right click for viewing. 2014, but good info.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Kungjitsu

Is 15 Mark Brunell?

King Hippo

smh Carlton. smgdh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spanky Datass
theeWeeBabySeamus

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litre_cola

I went 8 for 9 in tipping and got my Saints game wrong. Was an unreal weekend of footy. Came home from bartending to witness Richmond get destroyed, and the Saints cruise. Am in awe that the Demons came back against the Roos, but the right team won that game.

Wakezilla

8 for 9 in tipping? So, you have one kid then?