FA Cup Final Open Thread

Big Boy Fox has you covered, pre-game at Noon EST, kickoff 12:30. Dunno whether Gus Johnson and his miscast-for-lesser-footy enthusiasm will be announcing again or not. He really drives the ex-pats bonkers, FWIW.

The matchup between Manure and Crystal Palace will have a damned strange feel for a final. The perpetually alcoholic ruddy-looking Louis van Gaal is getting the sack immediately after the match (nice of the club to leak the news overnight), win or lose, to be replaced by the pictured Special One. This brings me a personal mixture of relief and disappoint, as Mourinho was likely Everton-bound had LVG stayed on with United. He’s a very effective manager, until the players get sick of him and revolt (as Chelski hilariously did this season), but Christ, what a fucking asshole. As long as my Toffees now do the sensible thing and immediately snap up the unfairly scapegoated (and forced to coach out almost a entire season neutered, but still made the CL semis) Manuel Pelligrini, I will be extremely happy.

Plus, if’n we end up doing as has been strongly whispered and siphon away Soton’s Koeman, I’m afraid Sill will renounce his Quakerism and burn my fucking house down.

On the other sidelines, you have tracksuit-sporting (but in no way a King like our buddy Huggy Bear) Alan Pardew. His Palace side have won maybe two League games since Boxing Day. I shit you not. Apparently, he will keep his job and take them down next season.

Enjoy the confusing action, and stay tuned FOAR HAWT DFO coverage of teh Euros and South American Euros! VIVA!!!!!

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Covalent Blonde

Yay! Not a shut out. So sad that that is what I am looking to hang my hat on.

herodotus450

Maybe if there is a game of endless overtimes, and neither team is able to skate a full roster due to death by dehydration, then goal differential will be the tiebreaker.

Covalent Blonde

Ugh. It’s like I can feel empathy for the Ice Stillers.

Covalent Blonde

Fuck. I guess it had to happen soon enough.

Unsurprised

Oh God. Bar prep begins again tomorrow.

herodotus450

I can only do Bar prep once a month when I’m having my mens rea.

Covalent Blonde

Good luck with that all!

SonOfSpam

It’s to grind the hooves into a fine powder, combine with sulfuric acid, then inject the mixture directly into the penis. Your Saturday night will be quite something.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just watched the last airbender on this flight. Whiskey tango foxtrot?

herodotus450

inorite? where did all the blue tits go?

laserguru

You know how I said I was going to the gym earlier?
I changed my mind.
I grabbed my Vikings cap, plugged in the ipod, grabbed the walking shoes and headed to the beach.

I walked over 5 miles.
My cardio is a bit off and my pace was slower than normal but I made it.

It was fucking beautiful! Brought a big smile to my face and a tear to the eye.

I’ll do the gym tomorrow.

scotchnaut

“You walked 5 miles? Good for you. [rolls eyes]”

-The Proclaimers

SonOfSpam

That was much funnier than it should’ve been.

Unsurprised

WOOHOO!

Unsurprised

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Covalent Blonde

Good on ya’, babe! Showing off your fancy new knee!

scotchnaut

Wow! International Political Lightweight Nation won the game!

scotchnaut

Unbelievable save by the Mission Accomplished! goalie.

scotchnaut

Stephen Harper’s God-Awful Legacy can’t buy a goal!

scotchnaut

Extraordinary Rendition can’t buy a goal!

scotchnaut

Whew! Tons of pressure by Broken Democratic Process! I hope Oil Sands Defenders are up to the task.

scotchnaut

The Poutine Suckers are up 4-3.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m sorry. I thought you said…something else.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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scotchnaut

Seems like the entire The Canada team is comprised of former #1 Edmonton Oiler draft picks…

Jesus Palace

scotchnaut

The Serial Apologists are putting a shit ton of pressure on The Kissinger Apologists.

/3-3 after the 2nd

Man U down to 10, prepare for extreme turtling.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Re: paint drying

“I don’t know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine that the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population gets more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots. Once there was a big fire and everyone died.”

– not Jack Handey

scotchnaut

The Canada has tied it up against The Exceptionalisms.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Woo hoo 205 lbs bench press!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Konichiwa.

scotchnaut

Sitting Bull.

/we’re doing famous Native American chiefs from the 1800’s, right?

scotchnaut

Team Too Big To Fail is up 3-2.

scotchnaut

The Unholy Stinkers have drawn even.

scotchnaut

I think the NBA would be greatly improved if it was played on an international hockey-sized court.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And on ice

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They figured out how to make the NBA insanely awesome but everyone kept getting injured.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ouXw328WYI

scotchnaut

The Dirty Oppressors scored one.

scotchnaut

Canada up 2-nil (huh? huh?) on The Scars and Gripes.

herodotus450

Do you want bees? Cause orange slices at halftime is how you get bees.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“We probably never would have gotten caught if we had just given everyone B’s.”

– UNC administrators

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, no worries. I’ll put it together this weekend and we can schedule it as the saturday morning open thread for next weekend.

laserguru

Think I’m going to hit the gym.
Some stationary bike and then throw some weights around.
I’m almost ready to work the heavy bag.

It’s good to be (almost) back.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No need to rush yourself back, there are plenty of places around L.A. where you can get them to work the heavy bag for you.

scotchnaut

What about teh hockey? Canada is taking on those dumb brutes from uh, hmmm… Canada is playing some team in the semi-finals of the International Hockey Championship today.

scotchnaut

Horse racing?

scotchnaut

I would have gone with sniffing Old Paint…

scotchnaut

The Tour of California? (Stage 6)

scotchnaut

AT&T Byron Nelson Classic?

scotchnaut

America’s Cup Yachting?

scotchnaut

Ahhhh, here it is-The FIVB Cinncinnati Open Women’s Beach Volleyball Finals.

Horatio Cornblower

The rink is so big it confuses me.

I beginning to think their is an inversely proportional relationship between how milquetoast a nation’s anthem and how significant their national power is/was.

Did the singer botch the anthem?

laserguru

What happened to my 4 day weekend?

It’s all lies!!!!!

But I do have most of a 4 day weekend next week.