CFL Beat: Week 6

The Maestro
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People are angry! Republicans! Democrats! Politicians in general! Anger is no stranger to the CFL either, with multiple teams’ fanbases currently experiencing the anguish of injured and/or shitty quarterbacks. It was a rough, rough week for injuries across the league. Who’s still alive and healthy to play? Who’s not quite? Let’s take a look below.


Calgary 33 vs. Winnipeg 18: Bo Levi Mitchell led the way for the Stampeders’ second victory of the season over Winnipeg, throwing 310 yards and 3 touchdowns on 29-41 pass attempts. For Winnipeg, the disappointment continues on. Drew Willy was yanked in the fourth quarter and replaced with Matt Nichols, after Willy threw a pick-six returned by Joe Burnett. Willy finished with 234 yards and no touchdowns on the evening. The Bombers are reeling right now, dropping to 1-4 and the West Division basement, while Calgary pushes hard to take first place in the division.

PICK: Calgary

RESULT: Calgary

Ottawa 29 vs. Saskatchewan 30: It was a disappointing loss for Ottawa, their first of the 2016 season, but of far more concern to the fanbase right now is the status of Trevor Harris, who was injured in the first quarter after being tackled by DL Corvey Irvin. Harris looked to be favouring his right knee, and was replaced by third-stringer Brock Jensen. Jensen performed admirably, throwing for 271 yards on 20-29 passing and two touchdowns, both to Brad Sinopoli. However, in the dying minutes of the fourth quarter, the offence stalled in the red zone, and was forced to settle for a field goal to give Ottawa a 29-27 lead. Saskatchewan then kicked a field goal courtesy of Tyler Crapigna to win it for the Roughriders in the final minute.

PICK: Ottawa

RESULT: Saskatchewan

Hamilton 37 vs. Edmonton 31: Another crazy game involving the Eskimos. The first half was all Edmonton, who took a 31-6 lead into the half… and the second half was all Hamilton, who set a franchise record for biggest comeback in team history (25 points). Jeremiah Masoli had a career game, finishing 31-38 for 391 yards and 3 TDs, including going 23-25 and 278 yards in the second half alone when Hamilton mounted their impressive resurgence. Of more impressive note was Masoli making 23 straight completions in the second half, a new CFL record! For the Eskimos, Mike Reilly was no slouch himself, throwing for 354 yards and 3 TDs on 32-42 passing, and his receivers, namely Adarius Bowman and Derel Walker, had excellent games as well. However, once again, the defence crumbled when it mattered most, and fans of the Green & Gold left Commonwealth Stadium with a bitter taste in their mouth after seeing the game blown in such spectacular fashion.

PICK: Edmonton

RESULT: Hamilton

Montreal 17 vs. Toronto 30: Toronto won their first game at their new home stadium courtesy of Ricky Ray’s passing – Ray finished 29-34 for 235 yards and 3 touchdowns. Receivers Kenny Shaw and Devon Wylie both scored their first career touchdowns as well for the Double Blue, and short-yardage QB Cody Fajardo tossed a touchdown to Anthony Coombs to bolster the score as well. For the Alouettes, currently missing receiver SJ Green and RB Tyrell Sutton, there were a lot of missed opportunities, and the struggles of second-year kicker Boris Bede left a number of points on the table for Montreal as well that could have benefited them greatly. Sadly for Argos fans, Ricky Ray left the game in the fourth quarter with an injury to his left knee, the same one he hurt two years ago, and was replaced by Logan Kilgore. It’s not known at this point how long Ray will be out, but Kilgore is apparently pencilled in for the starter’s job this week.

PICK: Toronto

RESULT: Toronto


Winnipeg (1-4) vs. Edmonton (2-2), Thursday, July 28th, 9:00 PM EST: Winnipeg has already hit the “fuck it, we’ve given up” point of the season, replacing starting quarterback Drew Willy with backup Matt Nichols for this matchup against Edmonton. Funny how this cycle works… Bombers sign QB to big contract extension… he starts playing like dogshit… gets benched… coach gets fired… QB moves on. Seriously. It’s an epidemic for this team. It happened in:

  • 2004 – Dave Ritchie benches Khari Jones in Week 7, is fired the next day, Jones traded to Calgary a month later.
  • 2008 – Doug Berry benches Kevin Glenn in Week 5, Glenn starts again anyways later in the season, Berry is fired in November, Glenn is released in March 2009.
  • 2009 – Mike Kelly benches Stefan LeFors in Week 5, is fired in October; LeFors and successor Michael Bishop are both released in February 2010.
  • 2013 – Tim Burke benches Buck Pierce in Week 5 after a 1-4 start, Burke is fired after the season, Pierce is traded to BC.

So, yeah, great track record there, Winnipeg. I’m sure it’ll be totally different this time around, though!

On the flip side, Edmonton choked haaaaaaaard last week. You can bet they’re pissed after the offence dried up in the second half and the defence couldn’t stop a flea. Anyways, in considering the Eskimos’ defensive miscues thus far this season, Edmonton has taken on some water, but at least they’ve got some bailers on board. Winnipeg is headed for the life boats.

PICK: Edmonton

Saskatchewan (1-3) vs. Montreal (1-3), Friday, July 29th, 7:00 PM EST: Montreal has only three days of rest between Monday’s game against Toronto and Friday’s against Saskatchewan. That’s a rough go for a team already troubled early by injuries this season. On the flip side, Mitchell Gale had an excellent first-ever start for Saskatchewan last week, and the Riders can hopefully build on that momentum going forward. For teams with identical records, Saskatchewan has all the opportunities – and way more rest and practise time – and can hopefully capitalize on that this week.

PICK: Saskatchewan

BC (3-1) vs. Calgary (2-1-1), Friday, July 29th, 10:00 PM EST: Winner of this game controls first place in the West Division! BC is coming off the bye while Calgary had a very convincing win on the road last week. The last two times these teams met, however, in the 2015 West Division Semifinal, BC got steamrolled 35-9. While both have seen coaching changes since that matchup, it’s far likelier that Calgary pulls out another win again, as they have a fantastic offence which will hopefully put the gears to BC in what right now appears to be a matchup of two very strong defences.

PICK: Calgary

Toronto (3-2) vs. Ottawa (3-1-1), Sunday, July 31st, 7:30 PM EST: This was marketed as Ricky Ray vs. Henry Burris early in the season… but it’s gonna be Logan Kilgore taking Ray’s place. Burris is back early, activated ahead of schedule off the 6-game Disabled List, and ready to go for Sunday, a huge boost to the REDBLACKS’ fortunes. While the team also hasn’t said too much about Trevor Harris’ injury right now, it’s believed to not be as serious as initially thought, and he will likely be back sooner rather than later. No question that Ottawa has the advantage under centre now – Harris beat Toronto on the road in Week 4; Burris now has a chance to answer to his teammate’s strong performance back at home.

PICK: Ottawa

BYE: Hamilton (3-2)


East Division Standings

Team Games Wins Losses Ties Points For Points Against
Ottawa 5 3 1 1 158 126
Hamilton 5 3 2 0 137 114
Toronto 5 2 2 0 125 120
Montreal 4 1 3 0 59 103

West Division Standings

Team Games Wins Losses Ties Points For Points Against
BC 4 3 1 0 102 73
Calgary 4 2 1 1 113 86
Edmonton 4 2 2 0 127 134
Saskatchewan 4 1 3 0 110 138
Winnipeg 5 1 4 0 98 135

Passing Yards

  1. Reilly, EDM – 1580
  2. Masoli, HAM – 1532
  3. Harris, OTT – 1499

Passing TDs

  1. Reilly, EDM – 10
  2. Ray, TOR – 9
  3. Harris, OTT – 9

Rushing Yards

  1. Messam, CGY – 250
  2. Whitaker, TOR – 224
  3. Gable, HAM – 222

Receiving Yards

  1. Williams, OTT – 570
  2. Bowman, EDM – 543
  3. Walker, EDM – 494


  1. Chick, HAM – 4
  2. Bazzie, BC – 4
  3. Bowman, MTL – 3


  1. Leggett, WPG – 2
  2. Heath, TOR – 2
  3. Lawrence, HAM – 1

Field Goals

  1. Milo, OTT – 15
  2. Crapigna, SSK – 15
  3. Maher, HAM – 13

Game picks this week: 2-2

Game picks this season: 7-13

The Maestro
The Maestro
The Maestro is a mystical Canadian internet user and New England Patriots fan; when the weather is cooperative and the TV signal at his igloo is strong enough, he enjoys watching the NFL, the Ottawa Senators & REDBLACKS, and yelling into the abyss on Twitter. He is somehow allowed to teach music to high school students when he isn't in a blind rage about sports, and is also a known connoisseur of cheap beers across the Great White North.
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blaxabbathMoose -The End Is Well NighFronkenshteenSharkbaitSpanky Datass Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

So last night I noticed the thought bubble in the WordPress task bar was orange and throbbing.(Hey now!) I clicked on it and saw that several replies had been made to a comment of mine that I didn’t immediately recognize. I clicked on the reply and got sent to a SUXROXXXX page from a year ago! You know, just a few days before The Old Place went all to hell. What the fuck WordPress? Are you trying to dredge up bad memories? Dick!


Think of it as seeing an ex, and instead of getting fat, they sold out for #content.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A brief rant, if I may….

I work about 15 mins, in the bad direction, from downtown. As I was driving back to our shop just now, I see the daily lunch crowd at all the shady little restaurants in the barrio that are about 5-10 mins from downtown. These places are not great and a few of them are downright terrible. Yet, these yuppies in their khakis and City of Phoenix or Corporation X ID lanyards will swear that these are *great* and *authentic* restaurants. No pal — they’re as authentic as going to the tourist bazaar when you get off a cruise ship.

It doesn’t mean no one can dine there or enjoy these restaurants — but you aren’t getting the real deal or whatever. They’re the dining equivalent of a dive bar — just enjoy it for it actually is. Meanwhile, there is a GREAT little place literally less than five minutes from these restaurants that is never busy. The time that you and your City Outreach Team spend waiting in line for some fatty overpriced burrito would be better spent driving the extra mile and getting something legit (plus you could then be like, “Oh I go to this place that’s a REAL dump. You’ve probably never heard of it).

So, basically, these people are this chick from The Onion after their Peace Corps stint is over.×9/565.jpg


I feel your pain. Had some white bread couple tell me that they had “authentic Italian food” like “you mom probably cooks” at this hidden restaurant in Baltimore.

The fucking place has been around for 50+ years.

And the food is good, but it can’t touch my mother’s sauce.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Odd; a lot of us have touched your mother’s sauce.


Hipsters are the worst kind of people.


A friend of mine’s wife (they have two young kids as part of their loveless marriage that’ll probably end in a poorly staged “suicide”) made some crack that the fiancee and I were hipsters. I had to correct her that we were yuppies. I’d probably enjoy many a hipster venue (arcade bars, those dine-in movies someone was hating on yesterday, riding a bicycle) if it weren’t for the presence of hipsters. Now I just want to be a part of an exclusive mens club or something where I can just sit in a comfortable chair and drink in silence someplace outside of my home.

I could even tell my fiancee that I’m there with ‘friends’.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, people that like things that you don’t like are the number one threat to America!


Wrong. It’s people who like the things I like that are the biggest threat!

Frankly, if we started shipping off our young white males to die in [middle east country that’s gonna get it next] to prevent them from trying to bang the chicks I want to bang….well, let’s just say I’d consider standing for the National Anthem again.


Last night, I felt the support of the DFO community when I was getting misty over my dog’s ashes.

You guys are the very best, almost as good as boobs and bourbon . . .almost.


“The higher they get, the further they fall.”



They say the same thing about convicts trying to go over the walls at Baltimore’s prison.

monty this seems strange to me

Ha ha, I think it’s funny when Maestro makes up teams and players like this and presents them like they’re real.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

But … that means … the TV schedule I referenced below is … … … JUST IN MY TWISTED MIND!?!!!?!?!?

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

What kind of sick fuck needs a picture of a dirty cotton swab? Why not just start getting stock photos of used condoms and old tampons?


The heart wants what the heart wants.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What’s the Canadian futon status situation like?



BTW, don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m slightly encouraged by the fact that you picked Calgary to win this week. 🙂

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

BC v CGY game is on ‘the deuce’ tomorrow night at 9pm DFO time!
Tonight is WPG v EDM at 8pm also on espn2.


I can’t wait to ask the bartender to put this on tonight instead of the convention. Maybe I’ll act like I have a bet on it to add another level of crazy.
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