NFL News:

• Warm up the Meme Machine, because Mark Sanchez has been named the starter for the Broncos first pre-season game.
• On the topic of lame arms, apparently Tebow is going to try his hand at baseball. Uh huh.
• Lane Johnson (who?) is facing a 10-game suspension for PED use. That’s a nice look going into the first year of a 6-year, $66 million contract.
• They’ll never say it out loud, but John Elway and Von Miller should thank Brock Ostweiler for getting pissy and signing with Houston.
• Tell your girlfriend: Adele is rumoured to be this year’s Super Bowl halftime performer.

Lo, and it was deemed that Troy Vincent shall be the noble warrior from League headquarters who will fall upon the sword of scorn resulting from the cancellation of last Sunday’s pivotal Hall of Fame contest betwixt the Packers & Colts.

Finally, nfl.com has their “Power Ranking” numbers out. It’s Carolina, Arizona & Green Bay on top, with the Titans, 49ers and Browns scraping the bottom. Feel free to debate in the comments, because rankings based on no games played yet are clearly the most accurate. Not to be outdone, cbssports.com has a ranking of fan bases and finds the Cowboys have the most supportive fans. They continue to stick with them despite the 20+ year drought in Super Bowl victories. One might even say that Cowboys fans are huge athletic supporters.

So much quality. America’s team.

Speaking of America’s Team, I caught these bros at the Women’s Beach Volleyball match on the TV last night.

If you ever wondered what foreigners picture when they think “Americans”, this is that image and those are the people. I believe these Trump voters might be the new TAWMMYS FROM QUINZEE! Feel free to come up with names for RioBros Connor and Dylan here.

Remember – we are 48 hours from the first actual pre-season games. The NFL can’t cancel them all! Here’s the schedule.

Tonight’s sports: non-Olympic list

• Little League World Series – US Regional Qualifiers (ESPN)
  • Southwest Region – 8:00
• U.S. Open Cup Soccer – 8:00 (ESPN2)
  • New England vs. Chicago
• Smackdown LIVE! – 8:00 (USA)

Tonight’s sports: Olympic list

• 2016 Summer Olympics Primetime – 8:00 (NBC – Live east; Tape-delay West) (CBC – live)
  • Women’s diving; women’s gymnastics; swimming
    • Phelps goes for Gold #20 in the 200m Butterfly final
    • more from the US-Russia swimming Cold War
• Volleyball – Brazil vs Canada – 9:30 (NBCSN/TSN)

The US & Russia are using the Games to settle geo-political issues. Plus, China is mad an Australian swimmer said they’re all cheats, and they want an apology. Australia’s official response was, “no”. THE 80s ARE BACK, BABY!