Your “Well, There’s Always Next Week” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Despite all the theatrics, Aaron Donald is not expected to be suspended for his behaviour during last night’s tirade prior to his ejection.
  • Well, the Packers decided who they wanted to pay and gave David Bakhtiari a 4-year, $51.67 million extension. So I guess we know how much Aaron Rodgers’ blind side is worth.
  • Not worth anything? CJ Spiller – released by the Saints.
  • The stupidest press conference question of the week gets a predictable response – Hue Jackson doesn’t regret passing on Carson Wentz.
  • The Super Bowl XLV lawsuit about tickets was denied class-action status today. People will have to pursue individual actions.
    • read the decision here.
      • I didn’t know Jerry’s actual name was “Jerral”; I thought is was a derisive sobriquet.
    • this case was brought by the same guy now seeking class-action status over the cancelled Hall of Fame game.
  • Here’s all you need to know about injuries, courtesy of Rikki.

Finally, welcome back to the NFL, Los Angeles:

 


This is why I prefer to listen to the radio broadcasts. Kevin Harlan gets it.

https://youtu.be/JssKqYoy5p4

It’s a shame that the Canadian feed of Westwood 1 – at least in Vancouver – is 10 seconds behind the Canadian/TSN feed of the broadcast. That means I can’t watch at home with Gruden off, unless I want the Godzilla movie effect.

Oh – don’t run on the field, kids.


The NFL has decided that marketing diversity trumps all, so they are not only continuing but expanding the “color rush” experiment this year. To alleviate concerns about colorblind fans and their experience at home, ESPN quotes Nike as having

brought in doctors from Mt. Sinai Hospital in New York to review which Color Rush matchups would be problematic for people with colorblindness.

The Jets will wear all white, “as will the Cleveland Browns, since their all-brown uniforms would blend with the Baltimore Ravens’ purple, and the Los Angeles Rams against the Seattle Seahawks, because distinguishing yellow from green would be an issue.” Well, it might be easier if it wasn’t this green:

What color green is this – Booger? Phlegm?

As usual, the snark from Deadspin has the bestest answer to the question of, “OH GOD? WHY?!”

A reasonable person might conclude that it’s pretty dumb to give each team a special Color Rush jersey if a big chunk of those teams are never even going to wear them on the field, but the people who are tasked with inventing new merchandise for NFL fans to spend money on don’t really care too much about what’s reasonable.

I shudder to think how many of these “12” jerseys I will see by the end of the season.


Tonight’s sports: a nice sorbet of non-football choices

  • Rio 2016 Paralympic Games – 6:00 PM | NBCSP
  • World Cup of Hockey Pre-Tournament: Finland vs. U.S. – 7:00 PM | ESPN, Sportsnet1
  • MLB: Tampa Bay vs Toronto – 7:00 | Sportsnet (Canada)
  • Premier Boxing Champions: Ramirez-Watts (super lightweights) – 8:00 PM | FS1, SN360
  • WWE SmackDown – 8:00 PM | USA – AJ Styles is your new WWE Champion
  • U.S. Open Cup Soccer: FC Dallas vs. New England – 10:00 PM | ESPN2

 

The Red Hot Chili Peppers have been announced as the pre-game entertainment for the first LA Rams home game since 1994. While “Give It Away” seems appropriate for the Rams ticket availability after a few years of 7-9, I prefer this little ditty.

“Knock Me Down” seems more appropriate for the David Carr treatment Case Keenum is getting. THEY’RE GONNA KILL GOFF!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
151 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

BCHS got in the comment embed at the top again. Well deserved. I do wish he would occasionally post stuff about his life so I knew anything about him other than he is funny and will dive real deep for a joke.

Unsurprised

comment image

Unsurprised

“They wore green jerseys once before and never won a game.”

God bless Seattle, but even my friend thinks that color rush design is stupid.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I really hate my C# class. I spent 8 hours on a program that should have taken 1.5-2 today because I was both fighting the visual studios site that doesn’t accept programs in the streamlined “automated” site, but also spent time having to look up code online all night for syntax because he is the the only teacher in the school not to put his powerpoints online and expects us to use his personal account to find code from examples from class he posts in the broken system that ruins your setup if you have to log out/log in to his. Plus since he wasn’t willing to create a public account we have to log in with a weird guest account he created and gave us the information once, and isn’t publicly available on any of the 19 places where it should have been posted on each of them throughout all his classes. I ended up with an incomplete program written in 9 different versions of older code. I wrote psuedocode in like 10 min but ended up with a mess anyways.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

The program was due at midnight and I have been watching Party Down for what I just realized is 4 hours now. Thank you Unsurprised for showing up so I am not just posting to no one.

Unsurprised

Glad to help

Unsurprised

I suggest you kill him and take his stuff.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I hate porn that has a great-looking model in it who then fucks some creepy weirdo who looks worse than I do naked. I can’t figure if it repulses me more that he’s fucking her and I’m jealous or that she’s doing it and I just feel bad for her.

Trevor Semen

Maybe it’s just that you’re trying to jack off while staring at an ugly ass nigga

Sill Bimmons

I just saw a Big Mac ad and now I really want a Big Mac.

http://acrossthefader.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/bigmac.jpg

ALXMAC

Fuck MickeyD’s for getting rid of the $1 menu, and Fuck MickeyD’s for subtly changing their 2 for 2 into 2 for 3 and now 2 for 5 menu.

Unsurprised

The 2 for $4 menu rules though

Sill Bimmons

No gots JITB in Jersey.

ALXMAC
Wakezilla

LOL. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Big Mac look like that.

On a related note, Fuck McDicks for making their Big Mac’s smaller and charging more for them. That’s one, of many reasons why I haven’t eaten at McDicks in 4 years

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Maybe Jeff Fisher is an evil genius for trotting out two horrendous QBs the first two games so whatever GOFF does after that is gravy.

JerBear50

I think that plan would play better in Indy.

Mr. Ayo

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I this is great’d that. Our long national nightmare is over!

Porky Prime
WCS

Flight leaves in six hours. Better get started packing.
comment image

ALXMAC
Porky Prime

comment image

Sill Bimmons

I don’t like houndstooth.

ALXMAC

Hey Sill, short time reader – 1st time caller; 5/20 in DFO2 haven’t logged in since they signed up in mid-August (including a few names I recognize). Cause for concern?

Sill Bimmons

They know who they are.

I don’t know why you’d sign up for something and not participate in it, but because there’s nothing at stake it really doesn’t matter.

ALXMAC

No money involved ≠ nothing at stake.

Sill Bimmons

True, but people usually get a lot more cranky about things when there’s cash on the line.

ALXMAC

I hear ya; I for 1 prefer PPR LG’s – but curious why you changed it while Week 1 was still going on.

Sill Bimmons

Because I realized that I’d enabled PPR scoring without entering a value into the box, so receptions were being scored but they were being scored at 0.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone else having problems with the this is great button? Or do none of you deserve my praise?

JerBear50

Unsurprised is clearly not deserving of your praise.

–Unsurprised’s brother.

ALXMAC

“To see YouTube links or your precious This Is Great button, please refresh the page.”

I was still posting on the “older comments” until I was booted here.

JerBear50

I see Uff’s fundraising went well again.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have refreshed the page and still am not able to this is great porky once let alone the many times this post deserves.

ALXMAC

comment image

Mr. Ayo

In protest I am clicking the This Is Great button on every post except yours.

You’re welcome.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tough but fair

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Field report from Nationals Park: baseball is a lot more fun when your friends have all you can drink seats.

Unsurprised

Drinking interrupted by baseball

Unsurprised

I have an interview for another partime job tomorrow. My health insurance kicks in on October 1, so the benefit and opportunity cost from having the money i would otherwise spend on it is worth a little over $7/hr. I’m not sure if this job would cover that or if they have insurance at all. I could do both but not for long. On the other hand, I would like to work where I’m not constantly cutting myself and hurting my back washing dishes at sinks built for people who are at least a foot shorter than I am. I don’t know. I just hate everything right now. My brother left today but during his visit he pretty much destroyed all of the confidence I built up over the last few months and he’s being an obstinate asshole about his own stupid shit, do hoo-fucking-ray for family.

In other news, bar exam results come out on Friday while I’ll be at work. Either way, that’s going to be fun

Don T

Keep it together man. I’m rootin’ for ya and for a Zika colony to settle on your brothers taint. And scrotum, if he tried to pass constant undermining as Tough Luv.

Wakezilla

Good luck to you, brother. I’m sending positive vibes your way. Remember to believe in the power of positivity!

Porky Prime

Tonight’s dinner was a bowl of Life cereal with a cut up banana and a chocolate chip cookie broken up in it. It was goddamn delicious.

Sill Bimmons

My niece came up with the idea of “Life Crispy Treats” because Life is her favorite cereal.

Cinnamon Life Crispy Treats are a mind-altering experience.

Porky Prime

One of my guilty pleasures is cookie soup. Three or four cookies crumbled in a mug of milk. Shit’s great.

Sill Bimmons

Teddy Grahams.

Unsurprised

Three or four?

Those better be like Costco cookies then

herodotus450

If ya’ll are having tv show problems I feel bad for you son,
but you should check out Banshee, it’s delightfully insane and the first season is on amazon prime streaming, and it originated on Cinemax so you know there is a fair market amount of nudity and violence.

Don T

I wonder how it would feel to have a phantom dick. Or a dick like a limb.

Oh, those Roche guys do have the good stuff?

Senor Weaselo

Walked to the Italian ice place to get an ice. It was closed. Senor was less than pleased.

Unsurprised

Burn it all down

Don T

You could deface the storefront with ICEE RULZ graffitti.

Porky Prime

comment image

WOP WOP WOP WOPPPPP

Unsurprised

I know someone who has probably already ordered that 12 color rush jersey

JerBear50

If you set about un-knowing them it would probably make your life easier.

Unsurprised

Ask OSZ about my scorched earth pogrom on Facebook. I’m on my way.

Mr. Ayo

Action Green! WHOOOO!!

Porky Prime

I started reading a book called the Unnecessary War that I picked up in the dollar bin. It set a record as it offended my senses within half a page of the foreword, but that’s what I get for not noticing the author was Pat Buchanan.

Before the second page of chapter one he had waxed romantic about British colonialism, degraded pre-colonial native cultures, and essentially rhapsodized about how great the world was when white people shoved their religion and culture into all the dark and ignorant corners of the savage world.

I will make an effort to slog through this because there still may be interesting historical tidbits sprinkled about, but holy shit what an asshole.

JerBear50

The Libertarian Party propping him up as their candidate is one of the many reasons I’ll never take them seriously.

ALXMAC
Gratliff

This is WWE canon now.comment image

Sharkbait

Cooking shows it is! Jacques Pepin is the shit.

ArmedandHammered

I love Jacques Pepin! Especially the shows he did with his daughter Claudine. I crushed on her for a long time. She was beautiful and could cook incredible meals.

JerBear50

I picked up a caper sauce from his veal chop recipe that I use constantly. It’s easily the pan sauce I make most often.

King Hippo

the good thing about mlb.tv is being able to switch to radio feed, drag the laptop to bed. Then it’s like being a young’un, pulling in the late night broadcast on your bedroom clock radio.

Yeah, we old folks REALLY DID SHIT that way, and we liked it!

JustStopDude

God that brings back memories. Listening to WBAL way past the point I was suppose to be asleep.

I would wake up to some drunk dude calling in a demanding the Orioles start having Cal Ripken Jr pitch because he was the only guy doing shit on the team.

ALXMAC

I did that every summer in (NW LP) Michigan, but I was stuck with rooting for whoever the Brewers were playing.

ALXMAC

comment image

Sharkbait

What to watch now that the hockey has ended…There is shit on TV

JustStopDude

I’m doing American Dad on Adult Swim until I pass out in an hour.

I don’t know why…but I like American Dad. I cannot stand anything else Seth McFarlene has done.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I like(d) Family Guy, but it’s about run its course and needs to die now.
Agreed American Dad is teh shit. ‘Specially since moving to cable where they can get away with even more.

King Hippo

watching el beisbol after footy has started….just no worky

Brocky

comment image

ALXMAC
Don T

At work today I was at the giving side of an ugly ass-kicking.
Point is: some pills would rock.

King Hippo

pills truly ARE the universal answer to life’s problems

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s very interesting when one doses oneself, forgetting they no longer have any tolerance.
/not naming names
//today was…let’s call it “different”.

King Hippo

got a little “Dark Side of the Moon” today, eh??

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hypothetically speaking, there might have been a momentary loss of muscular coordination while walking down the deck stairs causing a hyperextended knee. Followed directly by a fall down the remaining deck stairs (only 3 or 4). Followed my maniacal laughter while laying in the backyard for five minutes. Followed by throwing out of the back while getting up.

Again, hypothetically.
/still not naming names

JustStopDude

This comfort animal shit is getting out of hand…

comment image

JustStopDude

That was an intense ending to the US-Finland game.

3-2. Finland had a power play for the minutes. Pull the goalie and maintained the puck in the US end of the ice for what seemed like a fucking lifetime.

ALXMAC

I’m more surprised that hockey was being aired on Espn. WAT DECADE IS THIS?!?

jjfozz

So now the oldest has his first sports-related “mild” concussion.

He got it playing baseball so I told him that it’s his fault for playing such a pussy sport and that if he had rushed the mound and beaten that pitcher senseless, then maybe I would say “I love you.”

Maybe.

Senor Weaselo

If I beat the pitcher senseless for my first concussion, that would have been impressive, being it was a pitching machine. I was a dumbass and moved the plate in a batting cage and fractured my orbital bone. Looking back at it, the double vision was kinda cool, but it was terrifying as all fuck.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yikes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit, hope he’s OK.

I don’t condone beanings (to the melon that is) at any level, but there was one time when I played that I did intentionally nail a kid in the back as hard as I could. He didn’t crowd the plate trying to lean into one the next time up, I promise. Coach asked me if I hit him on purpose and I thought I was in trouble. When I told him I had, he high fived me.

Gratliff

James Ellsworth just made a cameo on Smackdown too! Best Welp face in the game!
comment image

Brocky

I was about to post that same pic. lol

GO MAKE A WISH KID! DON’T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS!

Gratliff

It’s like a preemptive tribute to the Rams-Niners game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aML1dORFSM

JustStopDude

I just got off a long and depressing phone call. My predecessor, who got burned out and quit right around the time I had a nervous breakdown, just called me drunk. He moved his family from the east coast to Oregon, where his wife is from. He got a job with a steel mill. Six months in…its a fucking nightmare.

They have to do a mill integration (basically bring in new equipment and marry it with the old equipment and automation). When my company does this, there is a team of about 5 or 6 programmers working for weeks if not months coding and testing. We have a room just filled with banks of simulators to…well simulate steel mills.

Once that is done, about four programmers go out with some field engineers (like myself). We work in teams, 24/7, teams of three, installing, testing, and commissioning.

My buddy just had a meeting at noon that the mill is gonna do the same thing itself…in 3 weeks. At this mill, its my buddy and another kid that has ever coded. They are expected to cover 24/7 for 3 weeks. Not just installing and commissioning stuff…they have to WRITE THE FUCKING CODE in real time.

Not only is this impossible…its incredibly dangerous. Going over what they are trying to do, I estimate it would take my company easily 3 months to do what they want, with full support…so like 10 to 12 people working both remotely and locally around the clock.

My buddy walked out the meeting and into the nearest bar and has been drinking non-stop. Poor bastard is miserable and doesn’t know how to tell his wife he hates this mill and wants to quit. All I could tell him was that if he made the call, we would hire him back in a heart beat to be a field engineer…but he doesn’t want to do that because…well you basically miss your children’s childhoods which is the reason he left the company in the first place.

On a positive…I’m doing fucking great! The shrink is real happy I have punched a wall in weeks.

Gratliff

I spent 4 years working in a factory environment, first in machine operation, and then as technical support. That was more than enough for me to never want to do it again. If I hear the fucking word efficiency again, someone’s getting garroted. I don’t think there’s another work environment that puts as much undue stress on everyone from the lowest newcomer to the most senior management as production. By the time they start the layoffs, it’s the only thing that prevents the labor revolts.

JustStopDude

He found out the other day, while blowing off some steam with a coworker in one of the pulpits that the older guys have a deadpool going on when he quits which they started the first week he got there.

Seems they burn out the book learners real quick at the site. It sounds like a place that is barely holding on. Everyone with a clue works there for a few months before moving onto another job. Everyone else just halfasses things.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

“…well you basically miss your children’s childhoods”

That’s the reason my father became a field engineer!

But, yeah, that sounds horrendous. Best of luck to your buddy.

...

Having had a miserable, frustrating job, I feel his pain. Fortunately for me, I never had anyone else relying on the money I made from it or living with me to soak up all of my unhappiness.

I hope he’s able to find a way out of this situation and that his wife will support him.

JustStopDude

That’s the tough thing about his situation. I’m sure I could land him with a job with a half a dozen companies almost immediately with his experience. But the thing is…the whole reason he took this job was to make his wife happy.

Kind of like buying your wife a beautiful necklace or some shit she always wanted and then telling her that its getting repo’d six months later….but thousands of times worse I guess.

Porky Prime

Poor bastard. And when the whole thing comes crashing down they’ll blame Obama.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Evening fellers. Hope everyone’s Tuesday…
/checks calendar
//proud to have gotten it right on the first try

…is being kind to them.

jjfozz

Left you a reply on the Google group thread you started.

JustStopDude

Douchebag Historian Comment…

In ancient Roman times, the thumbs up gesture actually signified a desire to see the gladiator killed as opposed to being allowed to live.

Interestingly, Gladiators didn’t die as frequently as its portrayed in books, TV, and cinema. For one thing, they were expensive as fuck to train and popular gladiators were loved by fans. It was rather rare for crowds to call for the death of gladiators, especially because they usually fought wild animals or condemned criminals.

Imagine if you will, Roy Jones Jr taking on a child molester. Naturally you would cheer for Jones.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

The thumb gesture is actually disputed by a number of historians, since pollice verso means “with a turned thumb,” but there’s much debate about the which-ways and wherefores of the turning of the thumb itself.

theeWeeBabySeamus

NERDS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Be nice or I’ll get Sill in here. He really knows Latin.

Wakezilla

This has bothered me for awhile as well. I know there is “new evidence” that suggests otherwise, but, those are contrarian historians who also think aliens build the pyramids, so. . .

As for the treatment of gladiators, that depends on which time period you refer to. Cherry picking here, there appears to be a change of how they were treated pre Spartacus vs Post Spartacus. But that could easily be because of a lack of primary sources.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I am at a basedball game. Send help.

scotchnaut

[hits a double]

If you were on second or third, you should be home by now.

/yer welcome

Brocky

comment image

I’m sending the most qualified group I have at my disposal

theeWeeBabySeamus

There’s 5 bucks in it for you if you can nail Syndergaard with a D cell battery, then shave his head.
(I presume that’s the game you are attending, might be presuming too much tho I suppose)

Don T

Oh my God! Here’s something way less boring:
http://ketabnak.com/images/covers/thumb_qnpvmrqd.jpg

scotchnaut

OK-something that never fails to make you laugh-I’ll go first…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGsP8soCrSE

scotchnaut

“Thrilling head gear.”

“Today’s turgid episode.”

What’s wrong with you guys? Humour is subjective? SOAB!

Sharkbait

It’s deader than CJ Spiller’s career in here tonight.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

We need to regroup after last night’s horrible double-header. We can do it, guys! Only 2 more days until more fubaw!

Brocky

http://image.syracuse.com/home/syr-media/width620/img/sports_multiblog/photo/19477968-mmmain.jpg

Listen, I’m not saying bills vs jets doesn’t qualify as football, but ….. uh……

hang on…. I had something…….uh…

did you know cashews grow on trees?

LemonJello

S! H! I! T! Beds! Beds! Beds!

ballsofsteelandfury

I love this comment more than I should.

Senor Weaselo

I may watch it with Bills fan friend, but, I’m not making this up, she fractured either a finger or her hand in a bar fight on Sunday. So I don’t know. At the least I need to make a whole lot of fun of her, but she’s normally the one I bitch and moan to about… well, you know, HER.

/I mean I’ll still make fun of her

Senor Weaselo
scotchnaut

/watching Captain America: Civil War

No banjos. No reading of letters from the front. No mention of Stonewall Jackson. The PBS help-line is of no help at all.

/ZERO OUT OF FIFTY STARS!

Wakezilla

Ah yes. The movie where Captain America becomes a terrorist, Ironman becomes more of an irrational dick, the only good parts came from none of the original and nothing gets resolved. It was OK, I guess.

Also, why has Cap never reached out to Tony about his blatant struggles with PTSD?

scotchnaut

Duh. He obviously has Post Tony Stark Dysplasia. That’s a given.

Brocky

comment image

the lack of stonewall jackson in particular

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

While researching some images for an upcoming post, I stumbled upon this gem from LSUfreek:

comment image

It doesn’t seem to want to play, so here’s the damn imgur link:

h
ttp://i.imgur.com/yIUuHMm.gif

Covalent Blonde

So team Finland automatically has the best goalies, right?

herodotus450

Team Hitchcock always has the best goalies

Wakezilla

Nah, it’ still Canada.

Gratliff

Kevin Steen and AJ Styles are the top champions (Co-champions? /shrug). Feels like I’m being set up for disappointment. Can’t wait til they decide it’s time for Cena to pin them both and get both his 16th and 17th titles on back-to-back nights.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3EPGcBouXM

Gratliff

Oh god, it’s happening already.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

At some point Cena’s just going to stack everyone with a belt into a big pile, stand on top of it, and proclaim himself championest of champions.

Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo
JustStopDude

I’m trying to spot the normal athlete faking a disability in the Paralympic events.

Its a bit tougher than it used to be…