Commentist Beer Barrel: Alternatives

This year’s Oktoberfest opened in Bavaria just about two weeks ago. Most of Oktoberfest every year takes place in September, just like you’d expect, and it coincides nicely with the start of fall in most parts of the Northern Hemisphere that aren’t the burning hellscape of Central Texas. Here, daily highs have only just dropped into the low 80s, and they may not stay there for long, either. For the moment, though, it’s 79 degrees out, it’s sunny, it’s breezy, and it finally feels as though the weather has caught up with the fresh wave of seasonal beers that hit local shelves way back at the end of July. Every year, a solid majority of those beers fall into one of two categories: Märzen or Oktoberfest beers, and pumpkin beers. This space has featured at least a couple of pumpkin beers already, and while we are smack in the middle of the actual Oktoberfest festival days, it’s honestly not one of my favorite styles. I’d like to suggest instead an alternative to the Märzen, something with a little more meat on its bones. Specifically, an Altbier.

Altbier began as a local specialty of Dusseldorf, Germany, and since then has carried on a running geographically-based rivalry with the Kölsch beers of the fairly nearby Cologne. I’m not clear on exactly why this rivalry exists; Altbier and Kölsch are different as night and… I guess early morning? They’re not exact opposites, but they’re very different. Kölsch is bright, clear, crisp and bready; Altbier is dark amber or brown, rich, and bittersweet. There’s clearly room for someone to like both, or for someone from Dusseldorf to like Kölsch, or the other way round, based entirely on taste preference rather than geographical allegiance. But this got me thinking: Aren’t our football teams kind of like this too? We like them, often, because we grew up in a place where they were popular. And we stick with them even when we find them downright unpalatable. Maybe we’d be happier if we dispensed with these silly provincial loyalties and just pulled for the teams that we find the most enjoyable to watch. Is a Browns fan’s life really enriched by being shackled to a bunch of perpetual losers, or does it just add another grievous insult to the injury of having been born in Cleveland in the first place?

Then again: If this were the right way to watch football, wouldn’t we all have been Patriots fans in 2007? The hell with that. Because fuck Boston, and fuck the Patriots.

Hops & Grain Alt-eration is an award-winner, a gold medalist in its style at the 2012 World Beer Cup, which seems to me at least like a hell of a trick from an American altbier out of a brewery in its first year of operation. The beer pours a deep copper brown with a head that… oops, sorry, it’s gone now. There’s no head. Sorry. Anyway. From the first time you smell this, you know the hops are going to be significant factor; on the nose they’re grassy with maybe the barest touch of citrus. Taste it, and the hops recede to a sort of indistinct bitterness, and that’s honestly perfect! Altbier lives and dies on the quality of its malted barley, not on the IBUs. The hops are for bittering, for keeping the natural sweetness of malted barley in check. But damned if that malt doesn’t fill its boundaries and then some. There’s baker’s chocolate at the base, a bit of candied apple, some apricot, and overall just the impression of being in a top-flight bakery. I’m not BJCP-certified. I’ve had some traditional German altbiers but I don’t know what makes an altbier traditional. In any case, this beer is sweet on first impression but dry on the finish, full-bodied without overwhelming the palate, and really utterly distinctive in flavor. It’s an amber-colored ale that doesn’t taste like a boring-ass amber ale, a notably bitter beer that’s not all about the hops, a round, full, malty beer that’s still somehow crisp. It tastes like autumn ought to.

lady snow says: I don’t know if it’s the right word, but I think of “roasty.” Maybe like roasted nuts.

make it snow says: Oh, yeah, I get that. It’s got some walnut or almond to it. And the bitter finish supplies the “roasted” quality.

lady snow says: I’m associating it with the meaty roastiness, too, of a Great Divide Hibernation.

make it snow says: It’s on that spectrum, I think. There’s a certain sort of ineffable flavor that I’ve come to associate with really autumn-appropriate beers, and its present in varying degrees here, and in Hibernation, and in [candidate for next week’s review redacted].

lady snow says: It reminds me of being out on my grandparents’ farm, smelling the hay in the barn, and the clean crisp air, and feeling a nice warm sweater around me. Let me tell you why I think it’s called Alt-eration.

make it snow says: Please.

lady snow says: It tastes like the transition between seasons. It tastes like the way our bodies feel, in a synaesthetic sense, when we experience those transitions. I know it’s a year-round beer for Hops & Grain, but I believe it’s a beer you can drink at any time of year and feel the promise of future autumns.

tl;dr: A satisfying fall beer that, at just over 5% abv, won’t make you fall over.

Grade: There’s a season for everything, except buttchugging this beer.

make it snow is an alot of beer and fall enjoyer who apologizes for the recent gap in DFO’s important beer coverage. Let’s make it Halloween all year long.

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makeitsnowondem
make it snow is an alot of beer. He is also a Broncos fan living in Denver.
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JerBear50

Don’t know if you saw it but another top-notch Belgian brewer, Bosteels, has been InBev’d. And they make my favorite goddamn tripel, Karmeliet. They also make Kwak but I’ve not tried that one. That one fucking hurts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

It is like a dim blood red in the sky. Should I be painting something in blood on my door right now? I am regretting never really paying attention in bible study right now

SonOfSpam

Has a crowd gathered, black and white?
With their arms entwined, the chosen few????

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

How many times do I need to tell you to stop posting pics of our get togethers? And I was dressed nice til my ass popped out at the end. But Nirvana Chic has its fallbacks

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I had a bone spur the size of a baseball on my knee growing up. I brought it up to doctors every time I went in but they ignored me. When they finally admitted something was wrong it was to the point where there was gonna be permanent damage no matter what. I was lucky that I played hockey with the kid of the dad who did all the Packer’s players surgeries. It isn’t perfect but a lot better than it could have been

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think our Oktoberfest starts the last week in October, just to get people one more time before winter to drink together before we spend the next 6 months drinking in private. I am in the spirit of the event, my knee with nerve damage from surgery is acting up so I am using alcohol as a fix, seriously, legalize weed or other drugs that would be more appropriate

Brett Favres Colonoscopy

This made me thirsty, but I have to finish the Great Lakes Oktoberfest in my fridge before I can even see if they sell this one around here.

make it snow

I can’t imagine there’s any overlap in distribution between Great Lakes and Hops & Grain, unfortunately.

make it snow

aw fuck

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That sucks.

Spanky Datass

I see offerings from Hops & Grain in my little corner of fly-over country but I don’t remember drinking any. That will change soon because Alt-eration sounds like it’s right in my wheelhouse. Although I did kinda promise myself I wouldn’t buy anymore crafts until I thinned the herd of various cans, bottles and bombers I have on hand (About 2 cases).

make it snow

Their pale lager, Zoe, is also pretty spectacular.

Spanky Datass

Weather? OK …
Sunny
75 F
36% Humidity
Wind: Calm
Wind Gusts: 4mph
Sunset: 7:19pm DOFST
http://brainberries.co/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/the-hottest-weather-girl-gifs-01.gif

LemonJello

Gott. Damn.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You haven’t seen that before? She is…. well you said it.

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LemonJello

NEVAR gets old, NO ONE DENIES THIS!

The thirteen year old LemonJello buried in my psyche is mesmerized. Every. Time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Apparently she has a marketing campaign too.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Kungjitsu

Bruh!

Kungjitsu

Isn’t the standard size beer in Germany a liter?

SonOfSpam

Their standard size oven is considerably larger.

Kungjitsu

It’s 88 de-gotdam-grees right fucking now at 5:47pm here in Duuuuuuvalll. This shit can quit any fucking time.

JerBear50

Brutal in Pasco too. Gulf temp is still 90 so you can’t even cool off there.

Cuntler

Texas seasons:

1. Pretty warm and humid.

2. SO FUCKING HOT.

3. EVEN FUCKING HOTTER.

4. Thunderstorms.

Romonobyl

You left out the random hurricane threat.

Cuntler
make it snow

I’ve definitely had a few pretty (or even very) good ones. I didn’t want to belabor this point in the review because I think I’ve shared my complaints on this subject at least once before, but: Too many Marzens, to me, are just one-dimensional graham-cracker sweetness. There’s always a chance I’ll get one of the good ones, but it often feels like I’m playing the lottery when I buy one blind.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is also a fun place, good food truck, nice staff, a park in walking distance to pass out/ throw up in.

http://payload107.cargocollective.com/1/1/54868/4451731/JCVD.gif

Electric Mayhem

Marzens are the best thing to come out of Germany since the moveable-type printing press.

nomonkeyfun

Well, it’s not hard to be the best thing to come out of Germany since moveable type (Euro edition). We all know what else came from Germany, yes that’s right samoas. And one Donald Drumpf