Deciding the ACC on 1 October and Other Lesser Footy Matters

Yes, this statement is certainly true if Lamar! (pictured above) runs train on Clemson, as he did on FSU. Otherwise, it may be a complex series of tiebreakers. Anyway, let’s take thins in loose order. It’s bad enough this post already misses Everton in Friday Night Footy (WOO!!) and the Friday Night JV NFL fixture between Top Ten Washington and Stanford.

Swans host Liverpool to kick off your Saturday morning (7:30, NBCSN). I will be sleeping in to recover from Huskies pissing on the Tree (hopefully), thank you very much. I will hope, but not expect, that Swans do a thing.

Hull host Chelski in the main 10:00 window match (NBCSN). Extra Time offers alternative options amongst crap sides in Sunderland/West Brom, Watford/Bournemouth, and West Ham/Middlesbrough.

Since the FA don’t want to compete with Miami/GT (spoiler alert), we proceed to four Sunday fixtures. Manure Host Stoke at 7:00 (NBCSN), followed by the match of the weekend, 2nd place Spurs hosting 1st place City (9:15, NBCSN). Even if Spurs win, they would remain 1 point out of the top spot.

If for some reason you don’t want to watch 1 vs. 2, Leicester and Soton are available on CNBC. Burnley host Arsenal (11:30, NBCSN) in case you don’t want to watch the RedZone Channel fantasy show for some even weirder reason. Turning that page…

Miami at Georgia Tech (Noon, ESPN2)

The early games are shittier than usual, and this is seriously the closest thing I could find to watchable teevee. UGH.

Tennessee at Georgia (3:30, CBS)

Staying in the Peach State, we shall see just how embarrassed the Dawgs are, along with how hungover the Vols be. I imagine the answer to both queries is “a fuckton” but Georgia is also shitty, whereas UT is just mediocre. So this one sets up for another Creamsicle Comeback.

Wisconsin at Michigan (3:30 at ABC)

A game between two Top Ten teams that I have no interest in watching. If the line is 12.5 or less, I would bet on the Wolverines here. Teams are too similar in style, and talent will win out.

Texas A&M at South Carolina (4:00, SECN)

Can you spell “Looking ahead to Alabama trap game?” HIPPO CAN. Cursing the fact that I do not live close to a sportsbook for this one, much like Johnny Reb/UGA last week.

Oklahoma at TCU (5:00, Fox)

STOP PUTTING ALL THE INTERESTING GAMES IN THE SAME TEEVEE WINDOW, GODDAMNIT!!!!

Louisville at Clemson (8:00, ABC)

Don’t pass out before this one, kids. It’s a great environment for a night game, and the tough road setting is the only way Lamar! is anything but an overwhelming favourite. I’m still betting on him with my imaginary Hippo dollars. Along with Roll Damn Tide, easily the two best JV sides in the country.

Arizona at UCLA (10:30, ESPN)

Kind of a weak-assed late night tweaker/DVR/insomniac game, but both these teams coming off late heartbreaker losses last week, and it will be somewhat interesting to see how they rebound. If the Bruins have ANY killer instinct…they’ll show it here.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Spanky Datass
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spanky Datass

I hope the dog was OK.
/fuck humans
/and cats
/and scooter riders
No, really was the dog OK?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

Not looking particularly good for the Horny Frogs.

Spanky Datass

Three consecutive Hail Bloody Marys and they’ll be right back in it!
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Sill Bimmons

I was never going to buy a Jeep product anyway but holy FUCKBALLS did that ad put me off Jeeps forever.

Holy Shit Georgia, you don’ fucked up.

Senor Weaselo

We got a DOUBLE Surrender Cobra!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
herodotus450

SHADES OF PLANO EAST

Senor Weaselo
herodotus450

“I dun wet my britches”
In other news, Drew Stanton is injured

Senor Weaselo

Tennessee herped, but Georgia derped, and that makes all the difference in the world.

Sill Bimmons

oh wow

Senor Weaselo

The Tennessee receivers are big, but did they play basketball?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Tallahassee has a sad.

herodotus450

Bulldogs are getting their Aleppo tonight!

Sill Bimmons

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

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Sill Bimmons

Britney Spears: Middle-aged mother of two.

http://media.vogue.com/r/w_480//2016/01/26/07-britney-spears.gif

Shogun Marcus

Inorite? And who would’ve predicted she’d be seemingly ok at this stage in the game?

herodotus450

Looks like florida state should’ve traded up to drafted Aguayo instead of going with his brother

Bloody Lethal

Wow Lee Westwood…

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I will no longer pretend to care about college football. I did a really bad job faking it til now. Apologies

Moonbatting Average

Huh. So now Matt Stafford’s illegitimate child is playing for UGA. Keep it in the family, I guess

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

4th and 10. Makes an interception for no fucking reason when an incompletion wins it

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

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Bloody Lethal
theeWeeBabySeamus

You shut your whore mouth!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hee hee.
Also, fuck off.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yay Wolves. Boo ‘Dawgs. Boo Orioles.
Now I gotta take my niece fishing apparently.
See ya’s in a bit.

Moonbatting Average

Michigan vs. Wisconsin is the most Big 10 game

WCS

B1G B1G B1G B1G

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Are you just calling it bad? I am not saying you are wrong

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

everything that’s happened so far today is stupid

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So you are watching the WI game then

Sill Bimmons

following it on the ticker

Bloody Lethal
WCS
herodotus450

A missed extra point is one thing, but to get one blocked? On your go-ahead td with 2 minutes left in the game?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am pretty sure I bet wrong on the 5:30 CT over of tWBS passing out, we still have yeah right going strong though

yeah right

Welcome to the post season Dirt Giants.
Even if it is for just a very very brief stay before you get your asses unceremoniously handed to you.

yeah right

Yeah but..

yeah right

Oh I get it. Dirt Giants are the Mets, the baseball Giants are the Dirt Miners. The Dirt Giants are a wild card.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

ertz would be at -50 in the insanity league

Shogun Marcus

I am watching the making of a 100 pound paperweight on pbs. It is more entertaining than WI/MI.

WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

It’s Prince Edward from A Knight’s Tale! I was just shaming myself for knowing that. What is that from?

WCS

James Purefoy as King Lot in Camelot.

Sill Bimmons

die seven nation army die

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

THE JARK SIDE

herodotus450

Et tu, Rutuu?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This same thing happened at a party in high school. The guy was OK like this one and actually smelled better after.

http://iruntheinternet.com/lulzdump/images/gifs/dancing-idiot-falls-into-fire-13670121803.gif

Sill Bimmons

this k state qb is seriously fucking terrible