JV NFL and Hurricane Matthew Say HAI to October Proper

We have yet another dumb-assed international break (right after Spurs beat City to finally create some intrigue at the top of the table), so it’s JV and JV alone this Saturday. Plus, of course, lots of ridiculous, faux-solemn requests for prayers and donations by your favourite ESPN/Fox/CBS teevee foofs. Try doing a shot each time, and see if’n you die.

drunk

Notre Dame at NC State (Noon, ABC)

This one could be fun, because of wind and rain. Plus, the Irish are shhiiiiiittttt right now (as the wolven sort are pretty much always), so this could be ridiculous in the elements. Plus, I have to watch, so fuck you, so should you. MAYBE.

Auburn at Mississippi State (Noon, ESPN)

Since LSU/Florida done got postponed, this is your bestest noon alternate viewing. Survival death match for continued relevancy in the still-brutal SEC West.

Tennessee at Texas A&M (3:30, CBS)

OK, so you escaped the clutches of UGA and the Dawg Pound, Butch Jones. Get out of College Station alive and I will believe your balls have really dropped. Clear fixture of the day, for the neutral fan.

Alabama at Arkansas (7:00, ESPN)

Pig Sooey is a tough draw for Roll Damn Tide, as they love a mudder game, and Bama usually can’t just pass them out of one. I think this Nick Saban squad is too good to get trapped here, but I wouldn’t bet my life on it.

Washington at Oregon (7:30, Fox)

Oregon is pretty terrible, but the Huskies will no doubt come out flat, thinking they have already accomplished their mission (did Shrub teach you nothing??!!). Could be interesting, could be a shitshow. Either way, 100 points will be scored, that’s always fun with Gus Johnson in the house.

Florida State at Miami (8:00, ABC)

The game itself has little luster, it’s all about the carnage! Anyway, I’m far from convinced it will actually end up happening.

Washington State at Stanford (10:30, ESPN)

Do any of you late night tweaker game aficianados huff compuster dusters? That seems like a Mike Leach/Eastern Washington kind of thing to me. Anyway, GO COUGS!!

wazzu

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Unsurprised

I have to admire the drunkenness of the person who left the odor of booze when they got out and so it lingered when I got in.

Unsurprised

Both tagged with #prettyolderwomen because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Unsurprised

I’ve never been a fan, but who am I to judge?

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Unsurprised

I should post the bigger versions, but I don’t want to slow page views down by making you load 30-50MB gifs instead of 5-7MB gifs. It’s what makes me generous to a fault.

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Unsurprised

I almost went out to get a slice and a beer, but then I decided it’s better to do that tomorrow and have the added benefit of watching football (for all that’s worth). I mention it because I want to get at least this drunk.

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

I need to work out more.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I went childish, but wen dealing with a child that happens sometimes

Sill Bimmons

I’m still waiting for a single rational reason for your response to my joke.

That is how an adult deals with a child, you fucking child.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have to write a 3-5 page paper this week on viruses this week, if anyone has had one let me know. Also punch Sill Billmons in the dick if you see him

Sill Bimmons

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Brick Meathook
Sill Bimmons

Seriously tho if you look up that PVP3 vector with/without photodynamic macular LASER you might have yourself an undergrad thesis.

Sill Bimmons

Even in my disdain I cannot help but try and educate.

Sill Bimmons

And I’ll be sure to punch Sill Billmons right in the dick when I see him.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have to write a 3-5 page paper this week on viruses this week, if anyone has had one let me know

Sill Bimmons

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This is next-gen viral vector macular degeneration therapy.

Viruses can be awesome!

Sill Bimmons

Can I help? Please, can I?

Sill Bimmons

I may have forgotten to mention that transmission vector virology is kind of my thing.

I have a lot of things.

You should come up with a few for yourself.

Croooow

Wow, Stanford got routed at home against Washington State.

Sill Bimmons

Just so were crystal fucking clear on this thing.

This is the verbatim transcript of what set MTWV off:

MTWV: Can we make it a crime to throw a ball at a guy at 100 MPH? Or at least let the batter go beat him with his bat after to his discretion.

SB: If you’re crazy enough to stand in against someone throwing 100 mph you deserve any consequences that may follow.

MTWV: If you are stupid enough to marry a crazy person your kids deserve to get beaten for years because divorce is bad.

Are you seeing the disconnect?

Because it’s the size of the fucking galaxy.

Sill Bimmons

And I STILL haven’t gone after him about his clear and obvious passion for batters beating the shit out of pitchers with baseball bats should they be so inclined.

Sill Bimmons

See, here’s the thing.

If you call me out like this I’m going to debate you whether you like it or not.

If you’re too fucking drunk to debate, come back when you can think and type.

Unsurprised

Bookmarked from last night.

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Senor Weaselo

So I’m seeing ads for the Google phone, and all I’m thinking is that the ads should have written themselves. “It won’t explode” is a pretty good selling point if you ask me.

Croooow

Johnny Carson is still the best.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Posting this with no intro, Craiggy Ferg was the best, I didn’t even watch it

https://youtu.be/QoTfte6uKkQ?t=1238

Croooow

They’re both brilliant.

Senor Weaselo

I miss that creepy foreigner, gay robot skeleton, and not-a-real horse.

Unsurprised

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Hero

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Can I get I button to block people, he is gonna do this for weeks. I know from experience

Sill Bimmons

No way.

This is the end if you are so tragically hurt in the feefees.

http://media1.giphy.com/media/NZfgAFsnQBEI/giphy.gif

I’m done.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think I should officially take back my apology to Sill. Still around for other stuff but just not gonna reply to him

Sill Bimmons

Why not?

YOU STARTED THE WHOLE FUCKING THING YOU GODDAMN LUNATIC

http://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/star-wars-roller-droid.gif

Sill Bimmons

Also, you never apologized.

Your non-apology for going “full nuke” is like Trump’s non-apology for “grab her by the pussy.”

SEE I CAN DO EMOTIONALLY BANKRUPT FALSE EQUIVALENCIES TOO

http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/6a/6a4d5ba3214a9926e8915d9deac4da42297f8eae64180e6d77b4e3a4b4a303cd.jpg

Unsurprised

How is this in my history?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_n4xUS2a4k

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

This is it. I am done with Sill just being an asshole and getting away with it because he is a recovering alcoholic. You are just a dick. I dealt with it as he complained about other people in our league when he was the offender. Go fuck yourself Sill

Sill Bimmons

Bring it.

You went so far down the Fuck Me lane that I decided that it was some time for Fuck You.

We all have problems.

We don’t all accuse one another of making horrific domestic abuse loving accusations against one another regardless of our sobriety.

Sill Bimmons

I MADE A FUCKING BASEBALL JOKE

You turned it into all this.

http://themodernape.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/internet-troll.jpg

Sill Bimmons

And thanks so much for this.

What I really wanted to be wasting my sweet Rocky Mountain High over was yet another of your “Woe is me!” missives.

FUCK YOU

I had my entire life and career ruined and came out on the other side of that shitpipe like fucking Andy Dufresne.

You’d be wise to stop feeling sorry for yourself and do the same.

PS– my folks are dead, so that’s a no-go

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Sill, I still have no idea what your joke was. I am sorry I went full nuke on you. I actually like you but you pissed me off at my lowest

Sill Bimmons

How is saying that a person is crazy to stand in against a 100 mph fastball anything other than the truth?

Still, fuck you with fucking Bertha.

http://www.globaltelematics.com/pitf/images/SeattleTBM2.jpg

I’m sick to death of your shit.

Sill Bimmons

And fuck your “Full Nuke” fucktardery.

What I just let go on you was Full Nuke.

Sill Bimmons

Also, you’ll notice that I put the word drunk in quotes

“…drunk…”

because I don’t think that most of the people here ever approach your level of drunk.

I know this because nobody here but you starts fights over imagined insults contained within baseball player jokes.

Unsurprised

Oh, man. now that I think about it, I can at least say one good thing about Gary Johnson: he’s not a sexual predator.

Sill Bimmons

Not that we know of.

Unsurprised

No. I can guarantee that.

Senor Weaselo

“What… is a sexual predator?” -Gary Johnson

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I always am completely open with you guys. I just cried for 5 min. Eh fuck it it is a release.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nothing wrong with it. Lebowski wasn’t wrong about that.

WCS

Whatever helps you through, bud. I can’t say I blame you.

Unsurprised

Let it out, man.

I’ve made my position pretty clear, but I also know that it’s easier to tell someone to take a hardline stance than it is to actually do it. With the benefit of time and distance, it’s easier to even criticize my mother for her crap, but at the same time I’d be a sack of shit if I didn’t acknowledge that she sacrificed and bled (literally) for my brother and me to be where we are even without getting to see our successes since she died, but even still. There’s a reason why my brother has fared better in a lot of ways, and it was because he was 800 miles away and didn’t see her for years, and that allowed him a decade to grow the fuck up OR ELSE – something that I’ve had a lot less time to do.

I guess my point is, you don’t owe them anything more than anyone else in the world if you don’t also remember that you owe yourself – as a part of the world – to live your life for yourself and for ONLY you. If that means taking time to just let it out or it means telling them to get stuffed, then so be it.

Sill Bimmons

You seem to me to be a troll.

These “drunk” guys don’t get you but I do.

You take WAY more out of this place than you put in.

Unsurprised

He’s not the guy who catfished me and a whole bunch of friends for over a decade, so I’ll take it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

In the spirit of the SNL chatter, Alternative response to MTWV:

What’s the difference between you and a mallard with a cold?

One’s a sick duck and I can’t remember the rest but your mother’s a whore.

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