Your AFC South Monday Night Quotation Marks Showdown Quotation Marks Open Thread

I’ve been thinking/mentioning recently that there’s a ton of stuff going on that should give all of us pause for a bit. Perhaps we should reconsider our willingness to indulge our baser instincts when we cheer for our favourite large person to hit that other teams large person. Shouldn’t we be expending our commenting energies elsewhere? This is trivial crap after all isn’t it? KIDDING! For me, this place is a refuge from all that shit out there-and for that I thank all you crazy monkeys. TO THE GAME!

TB/Car-It’s unfortunate that qb Newton wasn’t available for this one. He and Winston could have had a “Intercept-Off!”-they have 13 between them. One of these 1-3 teams is writing off the season after this game. My money is leaning on Carolina pulling this one out despite the fact Derek Anderson is starting. Sure, his work with the Browns in the late 70’s was impressive but he’s near the end of the line. Wr Evans don’t give even one care about his qb’s problems-with 360 yds and 3 TD’s so far he’s gonna get his no matter what. He might do something awesome tonight because the Panthers were the team that surrendered 300 to Julio Jones last week. Say a prayer for TB’s running game-journeyman Jacquizz Rogers gets the start and he’s subbed by undrafted Peyton Barber.

There she be-STRIKE THOSE KEYS WITH A PASSION!

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Sill Bimmons

“Corporal punishment is even banned in prison and military training facilities, but in 19 states children are still subject to this antiquated, barbaric practice.”

Fronkenshteen

What kind of ticket DOES get you into the lounge, for the love of Mike?
HBOGo has all episodes of The Larry Sanders Show if you need to kill time with dumb fun. I’m watching the Garden Weasel episode now. Watch it in the airport chapel and cackle out loud and slap the pew with your bare hands.

Sill Bimmons

“Even animals have better protection than children in public schools. In most U.S. states, hitting an animal to the point of injury is a felony, but doing the same to a child is exempt from child maltreatment laws in most states where corporal punishment in schools is legal.”

Sill Bimmons

Fucking asshole Giants won.

On a much more serious note…

A first-class ticket doesn’t get you into the Club departure lounge in this stupid fucking country.

I hate this stupid fucking country so much it’s hard to believe they let me remain a citizen.

Sill Bimmons

…domestic first-class ticket…

Sill Bimmons

And if you feel compelled to tell me to LOVE IT OAR LEAVE IT…

Believe me, I’m working on it.

I don’t want to be a citizen of this stupid fucking country any more than you want me to be.

Croooow

This game is STILL going on?! It’s 1:27 AM here.

Mr. Ayo

There’s at least another half hour to this game.

Mr. Ayo

Or less or your next game is free.

Brocky

do the cubs not realize that the quicker they lose tonight, they have to come back tomorrow/tonight?

Unsurprised

I don’t think I’m allowed to link to PFTCommenter’s review of Alex Jones’s boner serum, but it is still hilarious. Plus it had the best Favre burn: “Brett Farve had a boner 24/7 and no one ever knew.”

Unsurprised

Oh my God. “The compound also a stronger oxidizing agent than oxygen itself, which also puts it into rare territory. That means that it can potentially go on to “burn” things that you would normally consider already burnt to hell and gone, and a practical consequence of that is that it’ll start roaring reactions with things like bricks and asbestos tile. It’s been used in the semiconductor industry to clean oxides off of surfaces, at which activity it no doubt excels.”

http://blogs.sciencemag.org/pipeline/archives/2008/02/26/sand_wont_save_you_this_time

Senor Weaselo

I was going to post the xkcd What If of a cubic meter of every element but it’s book-exclusive I guess.

Senor Weaselo

Unlike football, we know that that is a catch.

Brocky

sorry for the random postings, gotta do something

Brocky

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Brocky

lol i dozed off and missed all of the bottom of the 10th and the top of the 11th

Sill Bimmons

Seriously, nothing fucking works.

All this streaming you’re supposed to be able to do while you’re on the go?

TOTAL FUCKING BULLSHIT

Unless you’re on your home network you have a better chance of streaming a sporting event through a transistor radio than a modern wifi device.

Croooow

Upcoming Romonobyl?

Brocky

BUT FOR WHAT SIDE????

Brocky

reading comprehension is hard

Brocky

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Unsurprised

Browns’ defensive coordinator, eh? I’m sure he’s quite an achiever.

Senor Weaselo

Extras, because who needs sleep?

Unsurprised

Is that Rose McGowan in Scream?

Senor Weaselo

Oh shit. Tie game. Barely.

Brocky

…..seriously?

fucking turned the game off and in bed now i gotta deal with this shit..

WCS

Huh. Well, I’ll be.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

Greetings from Denver, the worst airport in the entire universe.

They had the opportunity to study every shitty airport in existence and not only failed to remedy existing problems but made them infinitely worse.

If there is a hell the fuckwit who designed this place will be forced to fly out of it and right back into it million times a day.

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Senor Weaselo

I don’t know, it seemed better than both JFK and LaGuardia.

Sill Bimmons

That has not been my experience.

They’re a pain in the ass to get to but once you’re there it’s not nearly so bad.

The security situation is beyond awful. Only two security checkpoints is the most insane idea in the history of transportation.

Unsurprised

I opted for the pat down because fuck the TSA and on top of that I was sweaty as balls and so why not share the experience?

Brocky

it’s just a divisional game, its still good, its still good!

Senor Weaselo

It’s just Game 3 up 2-0, it’s still good, it’s still good!

Brocky

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WCS

Let the Cubbening begin.

Also, just woke up from a four-hour “nap” on the couch, so it’s time to start the drankin’. HOW THE PISS YOU DOIN’ BOYS AN’ GIRLS?!

ballsofsteelandfury

Ok, that was a good solid hit. I don’t care if you’re rooting for the Cubbies, that was good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The loast reply;
The concussion thing is recent and has not affected the talent pool yet. I agree on expansion to a certain extent, but over the years the population has grown at a higher rate then football, participation in football at all levels has grown equally and has only slowrd in the last few years. Most of the areas with newer teams have grown in population at an even higher rate.

One of the major items that comes up in poles is what you have brought up before; people don’t like the rules getting tweaked all the time for no discernible increase in competition, no shortening of game time (of course they don’t want that), or more subjectively; fairness or balance. It has made it more complicated and difficult to officiate the game, added to the number of offenses, thus increasing the number of flags thrown, and confused both officials and players as to what is truly what.

Of course the other thing they don’t like is players having an opinion and having the shear temerity to express it, football fans suck.

I think your own personal appreciation and affection for the game has eroded for various reasons, much of it with the owner employed management and regulation, the weakness of player representation and unity to counteract, media saturation and the advent of the Hawt taek media style, and the realization of the enjoyment of men tearing up their bodies to the extent of the ruination of quality of life.

While agreeing with you on those items I have been able to compartmentalize them.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If the catcher’s mitt Fitz.

Senor Weaselo

THESE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS I CALL THEM RASPUTIN BECAUSE FOR FUCK’S SAKE WITH THEY JUST DIE ALREADY?

Brocky

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Brocky

so mr. closer, feel like getting some outs?

no? Alright

ballsofsteelandfury

There’s 1.

Brocky

I stand corrected

Senor Weaselo

Wait. I just realized, THIS THREAD TITLE SAYS AFC SOUTH! I want my zero money back!

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s kinda appropriate, dontcha think?

Don T

Oh! I finally saw Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I’ll be generous: it’s crossed off the list.

ballsofsteelandfury

Everyone I know has told me I need to see it. I still haven’t. That is not changing any time soon.

Don T

A terrible nothing. Michael Scott doing Ping is way more nuanced than Mickey Rooney’s Japanese neighbor and The original name of George Peppard was Plot Device, which he performed with the chops of a tofurkey. I’m still angry.

Brocky

okay, break in the inning:

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Col. Duke LaCross

When I was a senior in high school, there was no hotter woman on the planet.

Brocky
ballsofsteelandfury

Hugh Grant is a tremendous idiot.

Brocky

this game is so fucking boring, most find reason to stay awake:

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ballsofsteelandfury

Those are two good ones.

Don T

I haven’t seen Die Hard. Crazy many chances to see it, never did. Nothing. Now it seems pointless to do it for the first time.
Wait no: that’s cocaine. I seen plenty of Die Hard trailers.

Senor Weaselo

It’s one of my favorite Christmas movies. Hey, shut up, it totally counts!

Don T

Guessing I have to have it a shot. If only to retire Coming To America for fave movies I’ve seen waaaaaaaay too much.

Fronkenshteen

It’s great. When it came out, I remember a review I read in Arizona in which the reviewer wrote of Alan Rickman, “I don’t know where they got the guy who plays Hans, but I hope when they finished filming, I hope they threw him in jail where he belongs.”

Brick Meathook

THE OFFICIAL TIRE OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL

I’ll take four of those, sir!

Mr. Ayo

Why, that’s the home run! Congrats.

Fronkenshteen

Hey boys! Just clocked out. I hear the Red Sox did too. Pity. Shitty MNF too? Hope everyone’s plastered. I’m playing catch up. COUNSELOR!
http://images.complex.com/complex/image/upload/t_article_image/jr1lvtvyhfy7g4qbnnxw.jpg
So am I really logged in forever now?

ballsofsteelandfury

Oh, Markie!

Col. Duke LaCross

Margie Post had some nice cans.

Col. Duke LaCross

Goddamn autocorrect

ballsofsteelandfury

Hey, maybe you went to school with a Margie Post.

Fronkenshteen

It was hard to tell on Night Court. Then you found out. Jeeziss!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

Moose, I get what you are saying, but there were a lot fewer teams back in the day which meant that the talent pool wasn’t as shallow which meant that backups could step in and shine and the play level wouldn’t drop as dramatically.

What is happening with Cleveland is sad. Down to the fourth string QB and doomed to a lost season. And who do we have to thank? Roger fucking Goodell who thought that expansion was a good idea and whose approach to the concussion problem has reduced the number of kids playing the sport. The level of play is only going to get worse.

Short-term thinking has led us to this point and it’s going to kill the sport.

herodotus450

Last expansion team was the texans, before GOodell, no? The point of the league is to make money for the owners, and if they can do that with marketing and legal teams instead of football players, they’re gonna do it.

ballsofsteelandfury

Remember that Goodell was not commissioner, but was deeply involved in pushing expansion.

Also, that’s exactly my point about short-term thinking: if the owners only care about making money now, no one is going to grow the game and ensure its long-term health.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The concussion thing is recent and has not affected the talent pool yet. I agree on expansion to a certain extent, but over the years the population has grown at a higher rate then football, participation in football at all levels has grown equally and has only slowrd in the last few years. Most of the areas with newer teams have grown in population at an even higher rate.

One of the major items that comes up in poles is what you have brought up before; people don’t like the rules getting tweaked all the time for no discernible increase in competition, no shortening of game time (of course they don’t want that), or more subjectively; fairness or balance. It has made it more complicated and difficult to officiate the game, added to the number of offenses, thus increasing the number of flags thrown, and confused both officials and players as to what is truly what.

Of course the other thing they don’t like is players having an opinion and having the shear temerity to express it, football fans suck.

I think your own personal appreciation and affection for the game has eroded for various reasons, much of it with the owner employed management and regulation, the weakness of player representation and unity to counteract, media saturation and the advent of the Hawt taek media style, and the realization of the enjoyment of men tearing up their bodies to the extent of the ruination of quality of life.

Brick Meathook

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Don T

Re, bitching about bitching: 80% of the time is better to shout WE SHOULD ALL BE COMFORMISTS!

Brick Meathook

Hey you’re outta line bud

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/replay hurts my team

“REPLAY IS KILLING BASEBALL”

...

Yeah, that should have been overturned. Rizzo’s foot was clearly off the base.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, Imma show up to the post game presser with a chain on which weighs more than my tiny brain, and then try to convince you that I care about my teammates and fans.
Fuck you, David Ortiz. Fuck. You. Sans. Lube.
And fuck you too, Van Pelt. You’ve become nothing but a corporate lackey. No respect for you. THIS is David Ortiz.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGfKfMmR-xU

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

And if you believe NESN’s homer announcers that Gregg started that exchange, then you’re as dumb as I look.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, yeah, yeah, “Shitty game!” It’s fucking football; teams get injured, beat up, lose confidence, backups are not HoFers. To me the fun of any sport I’ve played or watched is perseverance, keeping going when fuckups or near misses are made, overcoming things through adaptation, adjustments, and shear will, because those are part of every game. It has been this way as long as I can remember. Not every game is playoff caliber between fresh uninjured starters. If you dislike the vagaries of team competition that much there are many scripted things to watch that you may enjoy a lot more.

I know part of many people’s enjoyment is the bitching, guess I just don’t understand that part.

Oh well, back to your regularly schedule Monday drinking.

http://67.media.tumblr.com/a8b32d57b21fdd109e19170bd46fc48a/tumblr_o1yekbJiQe1t7lixko1_500.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Here is clue, PAL; don’t read comments and don’t bitch about bitching.

http://67.media.tumblr.com/fc613f890aec04bb25a39d3ec7e6a31a/tumblr_mk19l1k8uF1rcszs4o1_1280.png

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Counterpoint–One of these men should never be under center again:

http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Cam+Newton+Derek+Anderson+Pittsburgh+Steelers+Zl8hCJFVWpPl.jpg

BrettFavresColonoscopy

(Also I eschewed footbaw in favor of ursine beisbol)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Back-ups be back-up; money vs. a thinned talent pool by 32 teams. Teams have to accept the risk with a lesser backup. Cam is really durable, so the reality of the situation is….. DEREK.

Don T

Agreed. Wish I’d been fortunate enough to see it.
Then again, you can’t beat Stalin and somber apparatchiks.

...

My yawns taste like yeast doughnuts.

Brick Meathook

I’ve never watched a TV show who’s title began with “CSI:” or “NCIS:”, and I’ve never watched a movie that began with “Tyler Perry’s”

...

LOCKER ROOM PENIS!

/you all seem bored so I thought I’d shout something ridiculous

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why the small shout?

...

See? I just made your nights funnier with a dick joke!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Does BOLTMAN subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?

http://on.wsj.com/2e1BhqD

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What kind of a douchebag brings a catchers mitt to spectate at a baseball game?

...

Counterpoint: Marlins Man is worse.

JustStopDude

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Senor Weaselo

That could also get a “Haters gonna hate”

Don T

-Glorious game.
-Truly.
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JustStopDude

God I hate this fucking shit!

-Sung to the GRuden Grinder jingle…or whatever the fuck it is suppose to be…