As has been discussed in the news cycle, Donald Trump is again paying back favours and choosing important donors to be cabinet appointees. For the Secretary of Small Business Administration (SBA), he has settled on noted businesswoman, two-time candidate for Senate from Connecticut, and $5 million donor to the Trump Foundation & $6 million donor to his election PAC Linda McMahon.

Name: Linda Marie McMahon _(Wikipedia)

Date of Birth / Age: October 4, 1948 – 68 years old

Education: East Carolina University – BA – French; Teaching certification (1966)

Employment history:

• Receptionist, Covington & Burling LLP, Washington D.C. – 1969-72
  • handled document translation, intellectual property & trademark protection
• Titan Sports/WWF/WWE – 1980-2009
  • President – 1993-97
  • CEO – 1997-2009

“Linda has a tremendous background and is widely recognized as one of the country’s top female executives advising businesses around the globe,” Trump said in a statement on his Facebook page. “Linda is going to be a phenomenal leader and champion for small businesses and unleash America’s entrepreneurial spirit all across the country.” _(Forbes)

The SBA has an office in every state and helps with financing and training for small businesses and entrepreneurs. President-elect Trump said in a statement that McMahon would aim to “bring back our jobs and roll back the burdensome regulations that are hurting our middle class.” _(CNBC)

The SBA was created on July 30, 1953, by President Eisenhower with the signing of the Small Business Act.

The SBA has an Administrator (McMahon) and a Deputy Administrator. Below that, it has an associate administrator or director for each of its individual departments or offices.

Let’s look at possible candidates for those offices:

Business Development – Paul Bearer

• Small businessman; semi-loyal associates.

Capital Access -Yokozuna

• Access to Japanese capital markets for US entrepreneurs.

Communications and Public Liaison – “Macho Man” Randy Savage

• Told it like it was. The perfect candidate for cutting through the red tape of Washington.

Congressional and Legislative Affairs – Ravishing Rick Rude

• He is an effective, somewhat greasy liaison between business & government

Credit Risk Management – The Big Boss Man

• “You know the Big Bossman’ll make ya walk the line; ya betta watch that trucky, or you’ll be serving hard time.”

Disaster Assistance – Earthquake

• Who better to assist you than the guy who caused all the damage?

Entrepreneurial Development – “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes

• As the son of a plumber, he knows the hard times that stand in the way of the small business owner.

Entrepreneurship Education – Professor Toru Tanaka

• Someone with the skills and profeciency to ensure people get the message
• Also, a noted hockey player in his spare time.

Equal Employment Opportunity and Civil Rights Compliance – “Adorable” Adrian Adonis

• Meant to appeal to the Log-cabin faction of the Republican Party

Faith Based and Neighborhood Partnerships – The Junk Yard Dog

• Now the Dog, you see, is more than trouble,
  You see he stand ’bout six foot four;
  All the downtown ladies call him “Treetop Lover”,
  All the men just call him “Sir”

Field Operations – Haystacks Calhoun

• Extensive agricultural background – it’s practically his name!

Government Contracting and Business Development –

Hearings and Appeals – Nick Bockwinkel

• A well-versed individual perfectly suited for handling the effuse nature of the jurisdictional issues surrounding the complexities of Washington bureaucracy.

HUBZone Program – Chief Jay Strongbow

• It must be owned and controlled at least 51% by U.S. citizens, or a Community Development Corporation, an agricultural cooperative, or an Indian tribe.
• Its principal office must be located within a “Historically Underutilized Business Zone,” which includes lands considered “Indian Country” and military facilities closed by the Base Realignment and Closure Act.
• At least 35% of its employees must reside in a HUBZone.

International Trade – Andre The Giant

• Franco-American relations date back to the Treaty of Alliance (1778), making France the first partner in the business enterprise known today as “America”.

Investment and Innovation -“Rowdy” Roddy Piper

• Because just when you think you know the answers, he goes and changes the questions.
• Able to see through the haze of government propaganda.
• Constantly running out of bubblegum.

Management and Administration – Classy Freddie Blassie

• A Hollywood fashion plate, Mr. Blassie holds no quarter for people who won’t pull their own weight.
  • “Most any night you know where I can be found.
    Yeah, stomping some geek’s head into the ground.
    So keep the faith ’cause in Blassie you can trust,
    I won’t give up ’til the last geek bites the dust.”

Native American Affairs – Edward “Wahoo” McDaniel

• A proud Choctaw-Chickasaw, Wahoo played little league baseball for George H.W. Bush and football at Oklahoma under Bud Wilkinson, which more than qualifies him as a Republican appointee. Being a five-time US Heavyweight champion merely cinches the deal.

Performance Management – The Ultimate Warrior

• Constantly at battle with the Department of Congressional and Legislative Affairs. Only one can prevail.

Small Business Development Centers – “Mr. Perfect”, Curt Hennig

• A veteran performer who not only was a two-time Intercontinental champion, but a pioneer in attempting to save America from the scourge of the rap music.

Veterans Business Development – Captain Lou Albano

• A veteran of the Army, he is well-versed in the effort required to start an enterprise after serving a distinguished career.

Women’s Business Ownership – “The Fabulous Moolah”, Mary Lillian Ellison

• A pioneer for pursuing equality within her profession, she was always willing & able to prove that women can work just as long as men in their chosen careers.

As you can see, many of these individuals bring a vast array of experience to the table, making them fine additions to a Linda McMahon administration. The wrestlers who transitioned into management are people of immense ability who were able to take what they learned in the ring and position themselves to assist young protégés. Only a select few are able to make their careers exist long after their time in the ring, so these are people who would only benefit a McMahon administration.

If you know wrestling, you also know they’re all dead, a legacy of the McMahon way of doing business. By working with Vince to get states to remove “professional wrestling” from the purview of state athletic commissions, it allowed the WWF/WWE to call itself “sports entertainment” and remove itself from the required medical & physical examinations other state-sanctioned athletes are required to attend. This began under the auspices of the old territory system, so WWF/E pushed for these changes in their region, namely Pennsylvania, then New Jersey & New York, and Maryland.

Their lobbyist in the effort? Rick Santorum. Before his main career he worked as a professional shill. This was one of the highlights he used to build up his public image prior to running for Senate. So you can thank the McMahons’ for his national standing.

Freed from control by state athletic commissions, the WWF/E was then free to reclassify its performers as “Independent Contractors”, releasing the WWF/E (or “promoter”) from responsibility for providing it’s “performers” – called “wrestlers” in their standard-form contracts – with basic necessities like health insurance. For example, under “Wrestler’s Obligations” in a standard WWE contract (2007), you will find these bolded sections:

• (c) WRESTLER HEREBY RELEASES, WAIVES AND DISCHARGES PROMOTER FROM ALL LIABILITY TO WRESTLER AND COVENANTS NOT TO SUE PROMOTER FOR ANY AND ALL LOSS OR DAMAGE ON ACCOUNT OF INJURY TO THEIR PERSON OR PROPERTY OR RESULTING IN SERIOUS OR PERMANENT INJURY
  TO WRESTLER OR IN WRESTLER’S DEATH, WHETHER CAUSED BY NEGLIGENCE OF PROMOTER OR OTHER WRESTLERS UNDER CONTRACT TO PROMOTER
• (d) WRESTLER MAY AT HIS ELECTION OBTAIN HEALTH, LIFE AND/OR DISABILITY INSURANCE TO PROVIDE BENEFITS IN THE EVENT OF PHYSICAL INJURY ARISING OUT OF OTHER PROFESSIONAL ACTIVITIES; AND WRESTLER ACKNOWLEDGES THAT PROMOTER SHALL NOT HAVE ANY RESPONSIBILITY FOR
  SUCH INSURANCE OR PAYMENT IN THE EVENT OF PHYSICAL INJURY ARISING OUT OF HIS PROFESSIONAL ACTIVITIES.
• (e) IN THE EVENT OF PHYSICAL INJURY ARISING OUT OF WRESTLER’S PROFESSIONAL ACTIVITIES, WRESTLER ACKNOWLEDGES THAT AS AN INDEPENDENT CONTRACTOR HE IS NOT ENTITLED TO ANY WORKERS’ COMPENSATION COVERAGE OR SIMILAR BENEFITS FOR INJURY, DISABILITY, DEATH OR LOSS OF WAGES; AND WRESTLER SHALL MAKE NO CLAIM AGAINST PROMOTER FOR SUCH COVERAGE OR BENEFIT.

The reason any of these are available for public consumption is due to the numerous lawsuits brought against the WWF/E over the years, as well as mandatory SEC filings as a result of the WWE becoming a publicly-traded company. You can find them here, including one for Linda herself, covering her “performances” in 2000. Forbes broke a number of these down into plain-ish English in 2015.

Why does any of this matter?

Consider that “in its 62 year history, WWE has never chosen a black wrestler to hold its world championship,” a decision made on the basis of ticket & merchandise sales, not social mores. You don’t need to look far to find examples of racism in wrestling. So while I don’t think Linda McMahon herself is racist, her history and her company’s history show blatant examples of either a blind eye or no eye towards seeing what goes on in the business that made her rich enough to mingle with the people appointing her to executive positions.

Because a woman who helped her company pioneer the state-by-state reclassification of her employees into a management-friendly economic structure will be heading the agency that will be responsible for assisting companies with their applications for government contracts, and ensuring that women, minorities and veterans get certain preferential treatment in order to offset previous active discrimination. After all, she knows what it’s like to be handicapped….by government regulation.

Her hiring is expected to be a way to dismantle – using a woman – a department the Koch-founded Cato Institute has insisted be “terminated” since 2011. It lists the SBA on its “Department of Labor Timeline” as one of the government agencies which adds economic burden to the cost of doing business in the US, primarily through the “laudable” yet “abused” goal of ending discrimination in government contracting and loan practices at banks & lending institutions. In their view, the SBA retains political support because it is a tool for policymakers to signal their support of small businesses. Bringing in someone not beholden to these policymakers is a first-step towards reducing the size of government through eliminating an agency that the conservative wing of the Republican Party feels should be served by the private capital markets. It could be a model for future appointments to other government agencies targeted by conservatives for elimination under a Trump presidency.

Linda McMahon is considered to be one of the friendly Trump appointments.

God help you all.

_{(thanks to freeballin’ bill for some suggestions)}