Jee golly, as far as Quotables is concerned, in the penultimate week of the 2016 season, the NFL finally produced the perfect product. That is to say, games that were riddled with injuries and missed clutch kicks. I understand there may have even been some playoff implications to add to the drama of some of these games but, as a Cardinals fan, I’m not one to be talking about playoffs.
Don’t worry Carr/Marriota/Lockett fans, I won’t make you relive those moments this week (I’m sure ESPN will have them on loop). If possible, here’s just hoping Don T and RTD and focus on the misery of others for once.
I wonder if people will associate me with my uniform number.
When a team hires an undercover security guard to patrol the crowd…
Whew, he missed. I only hope it’s enough to get fired.
Only a Temple player would’ve been able to keep his head on a swivel to avoid that one.
The Chargers copy of the NFL produced Heads Up video is apparently collecting dust.
Big deal. The Browns complete passes all the time–just usually to defensive backs.
McCoy working hard to stifle his laughter about these fuckers still having to live in Cleveland.
This is why no one calls it a “sweet lambo” anymore.
Walking under your own power remains an applause-worthy achievement just out of reach of many across the state of Tennessee.
Wait…
Why did he draw tits on his bag face?
Fucking damn it…
I “Lions’d” the link…
WAKE UP, BRUCE! Your bad kicker finally made a kick that matters!!!
His parents are DEEEEEEEEEAD.
Bruce Wayne?
That would be the “joke”, yes.
I really wish coaches taking new jobs would stick around for their current programs bowl games. Temple goes from solid defense to losing to a bottom of the barrel offense.
This Chargers head-on collision brought to you by the National Transportation Safety Board.
Red Asphalt Redux
“A’ight! Let’s get this shit done with, there’s monster trucks to race! YEEEEEEHAAAWWWWW!”
Jags fans:
“You gonna leave me any, Sue Lynn?”
/Sue Lynn backwashes into beer.
“Fuck you, Josh!”
Cinncinatti Bengals H-Back Ryan Hewitt executes
a block againstRobert Nelson Jr of the Houston Texans.Christ, do all these guys on Army have the last name of ‘Army’ or what?
“Don’t ask me, I’m a pacifist.” -Christ
Cleveland Browns running back Isaiah Crowell celebrates a touchdown against the San Diego Chargers by wondering what the fuck this Seahawks guy is doing at a Browns/Chargers game.
Exactly. Why the fuck would you wear that jersey even if you are a COMPLETE asshole Seahawks fan?
“I’m sure I’ll be back as the kicker of the Chargers next year” is now called ‘the Lambo Leap of Faith’.
“That’s right, they call me the K-GUN!”
“We played the Browns? All I remember is the color black.”
Did the Browns and Chargers switch uniforms?
Last time I saw Arians this flustered, Barack Obama was becoming President.
Alternate:
“I haven’t seen Arians this excited since Trump was elected.”
http://thumbnails115.imagebam.com/50266/c723c5502657348.jpg
“Wait, you’re a woman!?! Please stop touching me. Just you. The men can keep groping me.”
An afternoon of day drinking and shitty nu metal would be perfect if not for this goddamn football game. But you know what they say, #UpForWhatever
Fixed
“Like I always say, Candi, an afternoon of day drinking and nu-metal is totally worth sitting through this goddamn football game. You know what they say, #UpForWhatever.”
I was trying to work a meth reference into my submission, but your’s is just about perfect.
I also assume Candi’s middle name is Lynn.
“These rubes act like their team hasn’t won a game all season.”
“I didn’t recognize the uniform as belonging to a real team, so I thought a crazed fan had gotten past security and onto the field.”
I hit someone like that in seventh grade. They slid ten feet across the basketball court.
It will always remain my proudest school moment
“There’s no way I can get through the stadium, out to my car and then get off the grid before our terrible dark lord, BOLTMAN has me eviscerated, disemboweled, crucified and then killed to atone for my failures today.”
Hello Darkness, my old friend …