Your “The Fins Are Playing Their Backup QB Today? Moore’s The Pity” AFC Wild Card Playoff Open Thread

“WHAT DO WE WANT?”

“A COMPETITIVE PLAYOFF GAME!”

“WHEN DO WE WANT IT?”

“NOW!”

[whispers out of the side of his mouth] “Could you maybe just wait until the one after this?”

Mia/Pit– The Steelers opened as 10.5 faves and that has since been bumped to 12.5. Why? Well, pull up a couch and I’ll tell you my good fan. HC Gase and the entire fan base was hoping that qb Tannyfanny would be ready to go for this one but Matt Moore has been announced as the starter. In a three game stint he threw for 8 TD’s vs. 3 INT’s but half of those were against the Jets and they only count as three-pointers in league stats. Moore has a significantly stronger arm than the guy normally in front of him so he may want to air it out to wr’s Parker and Stills (who will drop it) early in order to make some space for the running game. Rb Ajayi will have to run for 200+ yards for the fourth time this year in order for the Fins to have a whisper of a chance. You see, their D ranked 29th in avg. yards given up per game at 382.6. This ‘winning’ squad also had a point differential of -17 which is indicative of a team that lost big to a half-decent team here and squeaked out games vs. lousy opposition there. Did I mention that their #1 cb Maxwell is hobbled by an ankle injury and may not play against Antonio?

If you can’t hear me over the laughter of Ben, Bell and Brown… THE STEELERS HAVE WON 7 STRAIGHT AND ARE HEADED TO K.C. NEXT WEEKEND.

[wipes hands on monitor] My work here is done. GET AT IT, KOOL KATS!!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Burp.

Senor Weaselo

4th and 31? GARBAGE TIME BLITZ!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
...

LOLPHINS

...

I mean, I’m genuinely impressed at how the Steelers outsmarted the Dolphins there. Just fucking great.

King Hippo

womp womp

MikeWallaceAndGromit

THIS GAME I CALL IT THE TUNA INDUSTRY PRE-1990 BECAUSE DOLPHINS ARE CRUELLY BEING TORN TO SHREDS.

ballsofsteelandfury

Other thread? Other thread!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

But then I have to check both threads to see what you assholes are posting and that takes time, and I really want to watch the gam….

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I almost made it.

Redshirt

12/13 with one INT. Are the Fins even fielding a secondary?!

fleshwound_NPG

and that 1 INT was off Antonio Brown’s hands

…answer is no. No they are not.

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Redshirt

Has Suh reformed or is there a chance he could cheap shot a Steeler?

/ trying to find an excuse to continue watching

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

PHIL: And it seems that Pittsburgh’s punter is headed to the locker room…

JIM: I didn’t see where he got injured.

PHIL: Oh, he’s not injured. He just wants to beat traffic.

Cecil Rhodes

You would think that Miami’s linebackers would have learned to be a bit more patient by now.

Gratliff

Oh god. Why am I watching this garbage when Awesome Games Done Quick is running?

fleshwound_NPG

best tweet and truest tweet ever, I ruled dat shit during school

https://twitter.com/gerrydee/status/818104236043042819

King Hippo

so….Training Day with the dude from Big Love??

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Why is Cuba Gooding on a talk show in 2017? Are they releasing 5now Dog5?

JustStopDude

Since my coworker bugged me, I am inspired to share his absolutely favorite film. Also this game is utter shit.

http://static2.opensubtitles.org/gfx/thumbs/8/0/9/5/0065908.jpg

Jak rozpętałem drugą wojnę światową, in English “How I Unleashed WWII” is based on a very popular Polish Novel “Przygody kanoniera Dolasa” (The adventures of Dolas the cannoneer).

The whole film is about a protagonist, Polish soldier Franciszek Dolas, who has utterly convinced himself that he has caused the war, dooming millions to suffer, and he must make amends by correcting the situation. At all costs, he tries to bring an end to the war, causing screw ups and hi-jinks along the way. Its like “Hogan’s Heroes” but far more realistic and much…MUCH better writing.

The scene below shows the main character, after the Nazis have arrested him. He needs to be processed and he is asked his full name….which he tells them…but its incomprehensible to spell or even pronounce in German…Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz , Chrząszczyżewoszyce powiat Łękołody

https://youtu.be/6ORuKZPTfao

It is a very good movie, made better by a Polish coworker, drunk off of vodka, falling over in laughter every 20 seconds.

Filmed in 1970, the film was colorized in 2000. Word of warning, the movie flips between languages of the characters in the film rapidly (German, Polish, Italian, Greek, etc) because Polish audiences could handle that. Sub titles tend to be pretty…shitty for the film depending on which version you find.

Side note, its still a common “joke” for Polish soccer teams to ask the foreign players to take turns trying to pronounce “Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz , Chrząszczyżewoszyce powiat Łękołody” as sort of a fan film introduction to the foreign players. Its a huge deal if they can pull it off.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Fuck Jude Law. He knows why.

King Hippo

You could tell us the story in an off-season column, maybe? The #content monster beckons…

Sharkbait

New thread already? Are we like Miami and abandoning this game early?

King Hippo

scotchy need to get his DRANK on

Gratliff

Can Landry also play defense?

Shogun Marcus

Speaking of empty stadiums…Heinz looks a little sparse.

Brick Meathook

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Yes, PHEEEEL, Matt Moore is having a fantastic day for Pittsburgh.

Shogun Marcus

1:46 p.m. Lambeau Field
Ticket scanners not functioning. People not being allowed in at this time.
Ruh-roh.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That game in an empty stadium would be perfect in every way.

The Maestro

Never forget, Yinzers: 5 years ago today, Tim Tebow led the Broncos to a 29-23 overtime win over the Steelers.

Hail BLEERGH.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

The memory of that

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I am laughing at the memory.

...

I’m still angry about the Bears losing to the Tebow-lead Broncos that year.

Col. Duke LaCross

Goddamn Marion Barber.

Brocky

This game is like a fantasy football match up where I I’m starting all dolphins, who should be doing better but aren’t, and my opponent who is starting all steelers, who are all playing above average despite all factors working against them.

I should start rooting for the Patriots. It’s the only way

Sharkbait

So I’m on my 4th beer. I need a thick beer coat since I’m going to watch an outdoor college hockey game later this afternoon. I commend this game for helping me along in this goal.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did you figure out if we’re in the same fantasy playoff pool? My team name is Virginia McCaskey’s Clitoris

King Hippo

I love that name, only wish you had added “Dusty” smgdh

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I knew it would rub someone the wrong way

Sharkbait

I haven’t yet. It’s a work wide league involving multiple states. My team name is Roger Goodell is a National Disgrace. I found it fitting.

...

Thankfully, I read this before sipping my beer.

Brocky

Mousetrap:

Incredibly frustrating to set

WCS

I think I played Mouse Trap over three dozen times as a kid, and I can remember the Trap actually working once.

Brocky

I walked into that one.

The joke not the game.

...

Well my prediction that every team I dislike most in each game will win is well on its way to being accurate.

The natural conclusion of this is that Unspeakable Super Bowl which I’ve actually decided I won’t watch.

Brocky

Cmon, you can’t like Detroit more than the seahawks.

Remember: every pathetic lions fan is still an asshole red wings fan

Horatio Cornblower

OK, I’m out. See you for the afternoon game.

...

Would bang the mom in that Chase commercial.

Brick Meathook

She won’t kiss on the first date but she’ll suck your cock.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

/wonders if this should give him a boner
/looks down at boner
/kinda wishes he had wings
/imagines flying
/gets a bit of a boner

JustStopDude

Bill Burr update…

He is clearly losing it due to this crappy game and lack of alcohol.

fleshwound_NPG

there went our chance at watching a “game” today

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Of course the Dolphins fuck it up

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King Hippo

Prague Spring, meet Soviet tanks!!

Sharkbait

Welp. There’s that.

Shogun Marcus

Nice recovery. It looked…intuitive.

Horatio Cornblower

I like the one Steelers guy dragging the other one up to cover up that he basically murdered him.

Shogun Marcus

Ffs…you targeted your own teammate. Targeted, as in saw him, locked in, and proceeded. Idjit.

litre_cola

So if they score here do we have ourselves a game in the 3rd?

litre_cola

Never mind.

Mr. Ayo

“if”

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