Author’s Note: I wrote this in the wee hours of Monday morning after being rightfully PISSED OFF about Sunday’s game. I’ve sat on it and spent all of Monday trying to cool down and get some perspective. I’m re-reading it on Monday night to see if I want to take it down or run it. I’ve decided I’m still running it. If anything, I added to it.
I knew we would lose.
Yes, Moose, WE.
I mean, that’s what we follow this stupid sport for, isn’t it? To feel a part of something?
Well, I’m done. Moose, you’ll be happy to know there is no longer a WE. I can’t do this anymore.
After the first quarter, I told my dad to put on the Real Madrid game. After the third quarter, I put on a movie.
The whole point of watching football is supposed to be to enjoy yourself. I did not enjoy one bit of Sunday’s game, even though I was watching with the sound off.
The outcome was so predictable, even a ditzy Russian stripper could see it coming from a mile away. If it was easy to blame the coach, like I’m sure many people are doing, then I’d be joining the hordes asking for his ouster. This is not Mike Tomlin’s fault.
In most sports, the smart teams see what the best teams are doing and figure out a way to beat them. They build teams specifically to compete against the best teams. The Steelers, as an organization, are built to beat the Baltimore Ravens.
This is stupid.
The best team in the NFL is the New England Patriots. The Patriots are not, however, unbeatable. There is clear evidence of the types of teams that can beat them: tough, physical teams that exert pressure on the QB, are able to cover receivers closely using man-to-man coverage, and have an offense capable of scoring somewhere in the high 20s/low 30s on a consistent basis. It is not an easy formula, but it is doable if you draft towards achieving that goal. The Ravens have. The Steelers haven’t. This is why the Steelers have a horrible record against the Pats and why they will never win a significant game against them. The organization seems pretty content to be the Patriots’ bitch. For over a decade!
***
I knew we would lose.
RTD asked me earlier in the week if I wanted to watch the game with him. I declined, telling him that I’m no fun when my team loses. It’s not the fact that the Steelers lost, it’s the inevitability of that loss that has gotten to me.
How the fuck do you run the same zone defense in the secondary that the Patriots have feasted on every single time that they play you? How, after 15 years of this shit have you still not tried something else? How is it that an offense that should be scoring at will doesn’t even have a QB sneak in its playbook and is held to 18 points in one postseason game and 17 points in the other?
Again, it’s not coaching. Tomlin didn’t drop passes for long gains and sure touchdowns. Tomlin isn’t the quarterback that fails to recognize that a QB sneak from the one foot mark is a hell of a lot better than a run to a backup running back that hasn’t been playing almost all year? Tomlin doesn’t determine the roster that only has two running back options and that has run out of defensive linemen.
The three Super Bowl trips that the Steelers have earned in this century were all thanks to someone else knocking off the Pats. So, basically Steelers fans are left with two choices:
- Waiting for Brady to retire or get a career-ending injury.
- Hoping each year that some other team beats the Patriots in the playoffs.
What’s the point of that? In addition, the window of opportunity for the Steelers is almost closed. Roethlisberger is due to either retire or get a career-ending injury soon. After that, it’s the 80s all over again. No, thank you.
The organization has failed its fans in many ways. It has refused to draft to beat the Patriots. It has refused to counter the rule changes that have allowed the “death by a thousand paper cuts” approach to the game that the Patriots have followed. It has refused to stand up to Roger Goodell and his arbitrary fines. I can’t continue to support this organization.
I’m SO glad that I finally ended the last little bit of money that I was contributing to the NFL when I cancelled Sunday Ticket. There was no merchandise bought this year and I did not attend any games.
Going forward, I will be actively rooting for and enjoying the failure of NFL franchises in Los Angeles as both the Chargers and Rams will lose money and then eventually move somewhere else. From this point forward, I just want to see the NFL burn, fail, and cease to be the #1 sport in the United States. Fuck Roger Goodell, Fuck Robert Kraft, Fuck Tom Brady, Fuck them all.
It’s not all gloom and doom, though. I will enjoy my Raider fan friends finally enjoying football again and possibly join them on a road trip to Vegas to watch their team. Of course, I won’t buy a ticket, I’ll just go to Vegas to have fun with them. Trust me, this is the only NFL news that LA is actually excited about.
I’ll never see the NFL the same way again, though. Truth be told, it’s actually been that way for a while. Our Steelers season preview pretty much foretold today’s post. When it’s win the championship now or you’re fucked for the next ten years, it’s time to re-evaluate the level of interest you have in your team.
I can’t even say I like the way the Steelers play. And if I feel this way about a team that reached the AFC Championship, what the fuck are you people doing supporting teams like the New York Jets or the Cleveland Browns or the San Francisco 49ers? What’s the fucking point?
I mean, honestly, what keeps you all going? I don’t get it. Unless you are Patriots fans (and God have mercy on your soul if you are and if you still have one), why would anyone care about the NFL these days? Supposedly, according to all the NFL media, the Steelers are among the “best-run” organizations. That’s total bullshit, but compared to some of the other teams in the league, I can see why people would say that. If the organization of your team is so shitty that every year brings the same shitty result, why do you people keep supporting that organization?
Never mind when those organizations show utter contempt for the fans by relocating in search of more money and/or by not investing in the on-field product. I can count on one hand and one foot the number of organizations that really try to do the best for their team and try to win: New England, Dallas, New York Giants, Seattle, Baltimore, Denver, and Green Bay. If Atlanta can somehow make 2017 a great year and beat the Pats, I’ll add them to the list. If the Raiders can invest in keeping Carr healthy and surround him with talent, I’ll add them to the list despite their proposed move to Vegas.
Who else? Seriously, go through the divisions. The Eagles? Chip Kelly laughs at you while collecting millions. The Redacteds? I can’t even type their actual nickname that owner is so contemptible. The Steelers? The Steelers basically have the narrow gap between Brady’s retirement and Roethlisberger’s retirement as the remaining window to contend. Depending on how the luck rolls out, that gap may not actually materialize. After that, good fucking luck.
I love everyone connected to this site and I’ll continue to write and comment here as long as you’ll have me, but, in the immortal words of Roger Murtaugh,
Liking the Donks allows my kids to buy me presents I won’t hate, since I can’t keep people from buying me anything at all (which would be my preferred option, I HATE getting gifts).
And I really enjoy the intricacy of the game, the maths involved in comeback strategy and probability analysis when something cool is happening. Coupled with the heroin rush of RedZone, I will never, ever give it up.
That said, I do share the heavy annoyance at what’s happened to the product. One watchable playoff fixture. I won’t watch the Superb Owl. Instead of a solemn football celebration, I barely paid any attention to the second half of GB/ATL game, and no attention past 9-20 of PIT/NE (which I turned completely off 10 minutes later, having finished writing my DFO column.
That, frankly, is some bullshit.
I’m grateful that John Elway is around, and given enough (but not too much) power, to use his competitiveness the proper way for my side. So Denver will at least fight tooth and nail to compete for the next 10-15 years.
Shit, what’s the likelihood of my living longer than that? Or humanity as a species??
Elway is why i included Denver on the list. He really cares and he wants the team to be good. That’s all you can ask for.
He almost cares as much about he Broncos as he does about denying poor people abortions and “handouts.” Great guy, ole’ horse-face.
/The Trumpening has made me realize that all the white NFL players love him and all the black NFL players don’t. Weird.
Pretty much all those fuckers vote for less taxes on rich/ wealthy people. If you are going to hate all Trumpies you’ve got a lot of hatin’ to do. I guess I’ll have different feeling for many of them. A least the Bears management and ownership is absolutely full of free thinkers, logic bound people, fact based thinking, patriots that would never vote for such shenanigans
That aside; I believe the Hippo’s praise is entirely football related..
YES. I long ago had to come to grips that Elway, being human, was not going to be worthy of true (rather than sarcastic) hero worship. His politics are…unfortunate. Even if he is more of a natural “country club” branch member than “abortion club bomber” – he’s pretty tied with the state party there, and he stays on board with whatever the primaries produce (obvs).
IF ANYTHING, I am extra grateful for his involvement with the club in that (i) it gives him an outlet for his competitive juices (that is somewhat positive, or at least neutral); and (ii) occupies his time and energy. He’s asked to run for something every four years (usually Governor), and I have little doubt he’d win. That would be an awful thing for CO and for me, personally (having to be furious at Elway on such a regular basis).
I hate everyone who has anything to do with the Bears. It works out better that way, IMO.
I dig the complexity. This season I started to keep closer attention length of possession could affect the game. (Conclusion: obvious stuff confirmed.) And that 2-point play Mularkey called @KC (stupid play, loved the call), provoked the Chiefs to play for a first down (up by one), instead of marching down the field. Yeah yeah it’s the Chefs. BUT, there was time on the clock; up by one you only think ONE 1st down, and lack of urgency begets conservative playcalling… The games makes me ponder shit, is all.
I do prefer to watch a game. RedZone’s great, but I get caught in the flow, streaks, and changes. I can’t see myself not watching the NFL.
I’d like PFTC to way in on this.
https://media.tenor.co/images/e17007558001ae66021990b887099b01/raw
You don’t like the sport any more; that’s fine: WE are OK with that. You don’t need to justify it; there are massive things to bitch about in every professional sport, which fans will ignore and pessimists will exaggerate. I myself still love the game, but I have an extremely difficult time just watching without pausing the DVR for 20 minutes at the start and skipping commercials, babbling and half-time commentary or if I am doing something that will be productive during those times. I don’t buy NFL merch, play FF, gamble on it, etc. that a lot of people seem to need to make it more fun. On the other hand I can watch two bottom level teams play with interest and enjoy the game itself.
You’ve been heading this way for quite some time; you just don’t like it any more. If it is an effort or a burdensome obligation to be a fan it is not worth it. WE will deal with you not watching any more, just cut it off and quit dragging it out.
Also; you fucking pussy.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fx1lPIcCpnU/Um8AeqKus6I/AAAAAAAAAEo/Ad7BT6-PMHw/s1600/charlieBrownPumpkinFootball.gif
I didn’t mean to imply cutting YOUR balls off.
Never never.
If I can interject for the 47th time. You can not watch a game in real time.
DVR that shit and fast forward through the idiocy.
It’s the only way to keep it watchable.
I find myself watching NFL product in order to interact with you incorrigible ne’er-do-wells and ruffians here at DFO. Otherwise, I’d be perfectly happy doing other things with my Sundays and Monday nights. (Being a less meth-y Jaguras fan in the [Redacteds]/Bawlmer/Carolina markets doesn’t give me much opportunity to watch J-ville shit the bed on live TV).
In closing, here’s a gif of Jessica Alba taking off her blouse:
Never a bad choice.
http://media.giphy.com/media/Ou18ZgE49Fss0/giphy.gif
FTFY
“I WAS TRYING TO BE ARTSY!”
/stomps off to his room, slams door, starts playing Morrissey too loud
I can count on one hand and one foot the number of organizations that really try to do the best for their team and try to win: New England, Dallas, New York Giants, Seattle, Baltimore, Denver, and Green Bay.
Huh. I didn’t realize Balls was Jason Pierre-Paul.
“One hand and one foot? Well, I’ll make do.”
– Rex Ryan, after discovering his limited pornography options during his trip to Bahrain.
Quincy Carter laughs at your inclusion of Dallas.
Dallas laughs at your inclusion of a minority in this discussion.
http://cdn.niketalk.com/f/f1/350x700px-LL-f1af0324_MWdmH.gif
Tennessee. Their new GM hire was a coup. He drafted the 2016 All Pro at RT, added able OLs from the NE waiver wire and the bottom of PHI’s depth chart, and shrewdly accumulated draft picks for 2017, including the Rams #5. After two years with 5 total wins, they won 5 at home. Mularkey seems good enough and LeBeau will come back. Plus a number of solid and promising young players. Things are looking up, which is the bargain for fandom: I’ll root for ya, but you gotta gimme something to look forward to.
I guess being good consistently, but not great, erodes expectations. But I’d take gladly the ennui of rooting for a consistent 9-11 non-champion team.
I thought about you and adding the Titans to the list. I do actually like that team. In the end, I didn’t add them because i want to see if they invest in protecting Mariotta and giving him some weapons. If they do, they will be an exciting team, for sure!
Let’s let them be very competitive for five years before we award any reach-arounds.
Oh, I’m easy. In a heartbeat I’d settle for that Bucs season when they finally beat PHI and took the Barrett Robbins-less Raiders THAT KEPT THE SAME FUCKING PLAYS. I’d still gloat during the later of 3-13 seasons.
Fun Fact: I watched that Suber Bowl nursing an incapacitating hangover the day after I drunkenly fell into a pit with a pig, during roasting.
I’m not thrilled that the Raiders have to play the Titans yet again next year. They are looking like a very well-built team these days.
I do NOT like having OAK on the schedule. But the tibia talk would be off the hook.
But I’ve always liked the Raiders. The first football book I read was Madden’s “Hey Wait a Minute, I Wrote a Book!”, which I read in two sittings. And also this, from this year:
After the Titans victories over Denver and Kansas City, I actually consider you guys as friends.
“…. looking like a very well-built ….”
You can’t have well built Titans without well built Tits.
Well the Titans had better step on it. I’m pretty sure
2014201520162017 is going to be their divion rival Jaguars breakout season!I wrote a long response so I’m just moving that to my Quotables text. Someone inform Twitter! We’ve got a lot of clicks to this conversation! #upforwhateverlime
Tits go to The Nest in ’17. Develop your invective game accordingly.
Strong take no doubt but you lost me at whatever a Real Madrid is.
Soccer is never the answer unless the question is “What sucks most?”.
/seethes
PASS
Boo this man.
It’s the opposite of an “alternative” Madrid.
Isn’t that Lisbon?
I like that. Huh. +1
As someone who has continually found soccer to be the most boring sport to ever watch on TV, San Diego is likely going to get an MLS expansion team to pay for major renovations to Qualcomm, as the ultimate middle finger to Dean Spanos, and I’m all for it.
http://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/business/growth-development/sd-fi-soccer-20170122-story.html
¡Viva la Revolución!
“with a citizens ballot initiative drive as the vehicle to bring it about.”
Holy shit. That is some Grade A, Super Premium spite. My hat is off to the citizens of San Diego.
Also, as a snotty Premiership fan, I must chide that the MLS is NAWT real Lesser Footy (smh).
/Everton WOO
//Donks WOO!!!
http://www.boxofficefootball.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/2zsxour_gif.gif
I’m amused by the fact that a group of people with above passing intelligence gather their resources and come together because of their love for the NFL. They build a gathering of like minds and followers, create content based on their devotion to the sport only to decide, you know what? Fuck this.
Don’t get me wrong Mr. Balls I feel where you’re coming from.
I like to think of it as if the Apostles and other followers of Jesus created this big mythology and then decided “You know, the guy’s actually an asshole. Fuck him.”
And that’s the real origin of Aussie Rules Football.
Go the Saints! (St. Kilda)
*tugs at the bosses shirt*
The packers as of late don’t draft well (Yet. Maybe.) and according to slingblade free agents are for the proletariat to dream of. Squander the magic, let the plebs toil and die.
Hating Aaron because he’s not yours is fine,
But watching him die on the vine suits no one who enjoys the sport.
It suits Bears fans JUST FINE. Fuck Rodgers. He is a whiny, petulant dickhead just like Cutler, only with a lot more skill. My annual Packers payoff schadenfreude is all I’ve got left.
If Green Bay pisses away the talent of Rodgers and Favre to only win two Super Bowls in 30 years, that will be amazing.
QUALITY division hate.
“Ditzy Russian stripper?”
–
When McNabb and Owens lost to the Brady’s it slowly made my move like yours. I cancelled Sunday Ticket, then RedZone happened and I have given myself to the drug that is fantasy football. Do I have a Wentz jersey? Yes. From China as the shield will not get my money. I am way more invested in my fake football teams than the one I have supported since I was 4 years old.