INT. RECORDING STUDIO – EVENING
The radio booth sits empty. A pair of radio professional are chatting casually in the outer office in front of a massive new piece of equipment.
CONOR, THE INTERN: …so when does she get back?
PRODUCER: In two weeks. It’s been pretty great. I’ve been letting the animals sleep upstairs, I haven’t done the dishes in three days, I’ve been to In N Out four times already…I do miss her, though.
CONOR, THE INTERN: So you’re sure you trust this thing? People won’t know the difference? [pats the machine]
DJ 3000: HEY HEY HANDS OFF THE MERCHANDISE. WHAT IS THIS, A MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT?
CONOR: [shrugs approvingly] Hmm.
PRODUCER: It’ll be fine. It’s too bad we couldn’t line up a real guest for the week, but I guess everybody is pretty wrapped up with contract negotiations and stuff. Anyway, I…
—–[door flies open]—–
COLIN KAEPERNICK: WOO HOO! SPRING BREAK! YEAH!
PRODUCER: What the…?
KAEPERNICK: Hey guys! How’s it going?
CONOR: Um…good, I guess. What are you doing here?
KAEPERNICK: Didn’t you hear? I’m a FREE AGENT, BABY! I go where I want!
PRODUCER: Huh. O-kay…
KAEPERNICK: So I heard you guys have a radio show where NFL personalities play host for listener requests and I thought I’d come down and offer my services.
PRODUCER: That’s, uh, very gracious of you, Colin. You’ve got a topic you want to cover?
KAEPERNICK: I sure do!
PRODUCER: Wow, okay. Looks like our evening got a lot more interesting.
DJ 3000: HEY WHAT AM I CHOPPED LIVER?
CONOR: [discreetly unplugs DJ 3000]
PRODUCER: Go on into the booth, Colin, we’ll talk to you from out here.
KAEPERNICK: [pulls out earphones, wraps them up] Hold these for me? [tosses them towards the PRODUCER but doesn’t set his feet properly and the headphones sail six feet wide of the mark]
KAEPERNICK heads into the booth and gets set at the desk. The PRODUCER taps a button and they run though a quick soundcheck.
PRODUCER: All right, sounding good. We’re live in three, two, one…
KAEPERNICK: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Request Line. I’m your host Colin Kaepernick. Tonight, we’re looking for requests for songs about how good it feels to be a FREE AGENT! Songs about flying solo, songs about not being tied down, songs about how you restructured your contract to gamble on yourself and then went on to win one game in eleven starts and that one was by just a single point, songs about how you almost put together the biggest comeback in Super Bowl history but instead now all anyone remembers you for is because you had your headphones on too loud and didn’t notice the national anthem starting so you didn’t stand up and then you tried to play it off as a political thing which worked okay for a while but then people found out you didn’t vote and got REALLY mad, songs about how you’re going to spend the free agency period waiting by the phone hoping that someone, ANYONE will call up and make you feel like they actually want you to play for their team…[shakes his head, pulls himself together]…but let’s get to the music. Call it in, I’ll give it a spin! I’ll get us started with a DOUBLE SHOT from The Who.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRD_gIoVOmY
Not generally a fan of the Chili Peppers, but love this tune.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XcN12uVHeQ
How could I forget this one? It is LITERALLY about being released from your contractual obligations and becoming a free agent.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diYAc7gB-0A
how did this get missed?
https://youtu.be/wf73xqZvk6k
This works.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1wg1DNHbNU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6a6A6oTFdcw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-dZvQxYX1g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OD9vMFT_zX4
Topically.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVJfTlRwI0k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUvxRjYqjEQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6zhJkbcF20
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFGs7HP15d4
Not sure if I’ve ever posted this one before; from one my Raider fan uncle’s long-lost mixtapes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_K1NqCpmQI
Whisky sin soda – Joaquín Sabina
https://youtube.com/watch?v=6Er8mg5tJkE
What am I gonna do / if I like whisky without soda.
Sex without nuptials / sorrows with bread.
What am I gonna do / if I like love without jealousy, death without wakes.
But melodiously. Thought it fit.
/SPAM over
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZYBRHnlkSY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZTkj8dgGNE
Let him come back in man.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjNteHSCCSg
Just found the funkiest Leonard Cohen cover.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKDMiyRmbik
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABXtWqmArUU
My cousin just had a son which he named Gus. Augustus that is.
Thief!!!!!!
/jk Great minds think alike and all that jazz.
The name or the song?
Song, because apparently I don’t have a great mind and can’t reply properly.
Late to the party, gonna add Zeppelin. Apologies if this has been done. (NO! NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR ZEPPELIN!!!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3HemKGDavw
If it was, I missed it. Was surprised it took this long to show up.
“NO! NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR ZEPPELIN!!!”
– the legal department of the company that manufactured the Hindenberg
For Balls and the Maiden contingent:
Iron Maiden – Running Free
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80Hyz4pOXtE
Apparently my Maiden comment was marked as spam. I blame the guy above me.
Franz Ferdinand – Well Now That Was Easy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6BkfYjNEqY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BN1WwnEDWAM
While I’m more of a fan of the Soundgarden original, when Johnny Cash covers your song, you play it.
Johnny Cash – Rusty Cage
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtbuUlSGXzc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0rV88Ev-og
The Fratellis – Shameless
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4Dz2gFmyB8
“Well there’s nothing left to add before I leave”, and just picks up steam
Let’s have a little Joe Strummer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-I9_pDSlQ4E
Sinatra – I Wish I Were In Love Again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZOtb81XK6Q
Is there anyone the Jets didn’t cut yesterday?
Me, unfortunately.
This is a free agent montage song…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFredbE3goM
Here’s a free agency song, with a MOAR traditionally Hippo mental state flava:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNm2_Wth1sE
pretty sure this ain’t been picked…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71ZHVmSuBJM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38j7p5WWNV0
this were in my head earlier…THAT’S GOOD MUZIK HUSTLE!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfeWXh4QxrQ
You may be a free agent but….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8fWPn_-QZ8
Pretty sure you can hear Mark Knopfler here.
NVM I’m wrong. It was two years prior to his Knopfler-produced album.
I KNOW YOU GUYS WANT TO BE THE FIRST TO BUY!!
http://www.msn.com/en-gb/entertainment/watch/coldplay-announce-new-ep-kaleidoscope/vi-AAnIPIF
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daa9pZDxfIY
Lyrics say count it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_NNCNDYEpU
does free for a few days count?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onjaC3A2xjk
Somehow Game Time Decision has morphed into The Flu Game. This is some nice work.
thanks,
/blushes
i’ll try to be more meh from now on.
Fun fact: Three Straight Days is how Aaron Rodgers referred to the long weekend when Olivia Munn’s parents came to visit.
OH If I could thumbs up it again…
Remember when Bjork was normal?
/ha ha that is a trick question Bjork was never normal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5YNSNC0Ijw
But seriously if you’ve never seen this, it is quite terrific.
That’s the last time a poet lies to me!
http://off-press.org/main/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/dead-man.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-6gMH9AmLM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAESJ56or38&spfreload=10
Double shot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjg6flu3zuc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7322l_JC8Y4
Low Commander shoots for three!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9T6N5UBeFpk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVkTmnJkAN8
Tim Hardin- Simple Song of Freedom
https://youtu.be/3uVcr7LIusc
2 weeks before Irish X-Mas, but incoming Flogging Molly DOUBLE SHAWT:
Every Dog Has It’s Day:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSMMib8WClQ
Black Friday Rule:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QP-UwvGclDI