Your “Perfect Day For A Quiet Friend” Sunday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob -
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Random thoughts for a Sunday afternoon:

  • Awful nice of John Elway to draft the nephew of the only QB with more Super Bowl losses than him.
    • as Mr. Irrelevant, Chad Kelly will get a celebration in SoCal, promoted by Paul Salata.
      • SBNation has a good write-up about the whole Mr. Irrelevant.
  • I am still supremely pissed at the Canucks tanking their season in order to finish second-worst, but the draft lottery resulting in them getting the fifth pick.
    • I mean, I knew it was coming, but it’s still frustrating.
    • I’m not screaming it was fixed, because there’s no consensus #1 pick, and the Vegas expansion team ended up sixth.

The Canucks are going to suck hard for another decade, and things like this don’t bode well for their future. At least the Browns give the appearance of trying. The NHL managed to cement my NFL fandom with that result.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL: Ducks at Oilers – 7:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • MLB: Cubs at Red Sox – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2

Slim pickings tonight. AMUSE YOURSELVES!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Unsurprised

1. Ian McShane is an incredible actor. I am in awe.

2. The first episode of American Gods is, without a doubt, the best episode of TV I’ve seen in a long, long time.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

On my way to SFO today, I saw multiple signs “welcom[ing]” Marshawn back home. Discuss.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

If anyone’s interested in poker, Seamus and I are at the table staring into each other’s eyes.

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Unsurprised

Mmmm. https://twitter.com/AlexndrJohnson/status/858253102872449024

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Unsurprised

Charlotte McKinney did have a proper nip “slip” in Mexico a little while back.

https://imgur.com/a/3QQP2#LOxh0No

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Without the lava, things could have been different.

4
JerBear50

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wGR4-SeuJ0

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Every time I land at an airport after 9 pm, I’m reminded how terrible humans are when things take 45 extra seconds. We almost deserve Trump.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Really? I guess by that point I’m usually dazed enough to just sigh….. the anger or resentment is beaten out of me. Up next; either the commute home or the rental car to the hotel routine. Damn it is making me depressed just thinking about it.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

People usually seem to be Stepford travels at that point.

The opposite of the 6am martini drinking international flier.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

The terminal trains run less frequently late so the crowds pick up and people get pushy and angry. Someone knocked my phone out of a my hands in a rush to push through the anchovy tin. Plus no one at DIA understands the concept of using both escalators.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fuckers. The only place I have experienced that people know how to use escalators is in the UK. You walk up one here and people act like you be crazy. Last time I flew in there was nobody hardly on the train; that is a positive all by itself. To bad it was mot at least a normal experience. At least you got snow.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I went through orientation today to volunteer with the humane society.

So, yes, you can bet your ass the first chance I get I’m naming a new feline admitee Catler.

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Brocky

as long as the attitude fits the cat

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Unsurprised

DOOOOONNNNTTTTT CAAAARRRREEEEE

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JerBear50

Just watch out when you try to vaccinate it. And good job with that, man. I’ve actually been wanting to do the same thing, but it’s kind of hard with my hours. I don’t think they have a lot of night-time volunteer positions and I have few daylight hours to get shit done as it is. Also because I know myself and will bring them all home.

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Unsurprised

The OHS doesn’t let volunteers work past public closing time unless they’re experienced and working on special projects. But there’s no fixed schedule, so I can pretty much come and go as I please if I’m so inclined. I figure I’ll set up a routine because that’s part of why I’m doing it.

I also understand completely about taking them all home. I really wanted this one older cat, but he has diabetes and that’s too much for me to handle (at least for now).

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Brocky

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Gratliff

At least Roddy got some good ass Always Sunny eps in before kicking it

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Senor Weaselo

I made a car insurance claim and that was a lot less painful than I expected. I believe this makes me a real boy.
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Don T

I’ve read that book: Around The Deductible In 80 Days.

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Don T

So the Bills fired the guy who picked the drafted rookies. Goddamn that’s quality hazing.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well if you are going to get rid of that position; now is the time to do it. Since the college talent/ scouting process doesn’t really start for a while and you would not want to fire them in the middle of that process.

Now we’ll have security walk you out.

2
Don T

You don’t change horses midstream. You kill them after taking you accross. Stalin approves!

2
...

Kris Bryant hits his 69th career homerun tonight.

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Shogun Marcus

While I have no complaint, isn’t this only half accurate now?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OOF, damn dude.

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Shogun Marcus

Never said I was proud of it, nor would I evar say no to her if an offer were made.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

double mastectomy jokes; sometimes we have to go there.

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Shogun Marcus

If we don’t, who will? Then what’s next, we let them take our free speech and liberty?! NYET COMRADES, NYET!
/has been informed Agent Orange intends to do exactly this.
//fuck it, Canada ain’t far enough.

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Brick Meathook

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Brocky

man, picking out a car is a bitch

4
Gratliff

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://68.media.tumblr.com/2cfae251159f617be3596c681b82a1c1/tumblr_oov3go0Y1N1ug5c9zo1_400.jpg

IT WAS DELICIOUS!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://68.media.tumblr.com/7487425e0ded1865e24f1c936fb5c6c9/tumblr_op3arezdOJ1v3ivsio1_1280.jpg

Upskirt bear.

2
Don T

The story’s called “The Venereal Beaver”. They hold showing the monster until the third act.

3
LemonJello

Was it driven to attack because it could smell her menstruation?

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, it killed the pussy boyfriend first.

3
Gratliff

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Gratliff

Apparently, this is Alexa Bliss with her fucking mom. Those are some fucking genes right there.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

The family dentist appears competent.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So does the gynecologist….

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

That guy better keep his big yap shut.
I’ve said too much…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, he fixed it after her birth; mom’s yap ain’t big anymore, more of a tight yap.

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Unsurprised

I don’t want to cast aspersions but I have met multiple women who have had kids by the time they were 15 (in New Mexico, Unsurprised? No wayyyyy).

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The Maestro

jesus christ, reddit

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Unsurprised

Jesus and God abandoned reddit long ago.

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Unsurprised

Reading @ZODIAC_MF comment on Dear Abby columns that are just as stupid or worse is why I haven’t burned everything to the ground. Yet.

But Reddit wins here because I am sure that “self-defense” should be in hade, HARD quotes.

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Gratliff

Hate that I can’t just link to twitter gifs.
https://twitter.com/UnderhookDDT/status/858851067387232256

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Unsurprised

Twitter sucks more and more every day

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Brocky

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Brocky

got you covered seamus

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Senor Weaselo

That makes it only BirdMaimDome, right?

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Shogun Marcus

So instead of the roof giving out, the walls holding up the roof will go. Making it inverted BirdBathDome. Nature always wins.

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Unsurprised

Fuck ’em

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-3QLBR5iMo

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herodotus450

I’ve said it before: what is the point of the crease? Seems like you can be in the crease, even play the puck there and nothing happens. Conversely, goalie interference can be called anywhere, anytime, What the fuck?

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m rusty on analogies, but how do we feel about

Firing your GM : After the Draft
And
Wearing a condom : While masturbating after having already fucked Freddie Mercury bareback

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Brocky

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litre_cola

One of those makes sense the other doesnt.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It may have been brought up before, but Charlotte McKinney was on @midnight and was entertaining in addition to her looks; flipped the hair a lot. Mitch McConnell’s Neck pussy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofG-LtbFn9A

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Although they armored up her tits so nothing slipped or spilled.

Which is an engineering achievement in and of itself.

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herodotus450

She certainly seems capable of reading from the “Joke Answers” card that was given to her before taping.

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Senor Weaselo

Points?

1
...

Hmmm… not sure how I feel about women who can “read.”

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Shogun Marcus

How do you feel about them knowing math numbers like money and such? Cuz rest easy McCaskey dunno how to that.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fuckin’ SICK McCaskey burn.

POINTS!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Which seems to be the case with most non-comedians/ entertainment people they have on that show.

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litre_cola

Gday folks. Millilitre Cola is now 12 days late. Castor Oil Tuesday is not the same as Taco Tuesday if you were wondering.

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Senor Weaselo

But Taco Tuesday can move to Friday next week for Cinco de Mayo!

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Start whacking Mrs.Litre on the ass. When she asks wtf are you doing, tell her you’re treating her like the ketchup bottle and just trynna help get her started.

Honest, she’ll think it’s funny. I promise.

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litre_cola

I just read that to her and she laughed. She is contemplating anything. She is very uncomfortable.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeeesh…I can’t even imagine.
Tell her we love her and we’re happy it’s her and not us.
Honest, she’ll think it’s funny. I promise.

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herodotus450

smh everybody knows you have to whack it on the 57.

5
Brocky

this is a banner comment. it really is

3
herodotus450

Milan Lucic should change his name to DetroitFlintSudanPompeii Lucic because he’s a giant burning dumpster fire of a person.

5
WCS

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Brick Meathook

So I take a class every Sunday evening in Glendale (Anger Management In Your New Workplace For Felons on Parole) and this is across the street. Recognize it? Any guesses?

You can get a steak there, daddio!

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Brick Meathook

Here’s the pic:
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herodotus450

Is it the house from Inglorious Basterds?

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Brick Meathook

Here’s another hint:
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WCS

Did you order a Five Dollar Shake?

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Unsurprised

It is fucked that $5 for a shake is a sale price 22 years later.

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Shogun Marcus

Jack Rabbit Slims?

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Brick Meathook

Yes! It was a recently-closed bowling alley when they shot the exterior in 1993 (the interior was built in a warehouse in Culver City 20 miles away). Disney owns it now.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Was the exterior shot in a drive-by?

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I was afraid Doug Whaley was going to draft Chad Kelly from some sort of misplaced sense of loyalty. Fortunately he didn’t, and then he was fired, wrapping the whole thing up into a nice, disposable ball.

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Shogun Marcus

Buffalo seems to want some of the Factorys workload.

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Actually, this is one of two good times to do it. All of the stuff that requires lead-time and prep work is done. The free agents are mostly signed, the draft is done, and there’s three and a half months until the next major roster activity for training camp cuts.

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Shogun Marcus

True but if you don’t believe in your scouts to the point that you fire them and allegedly hand the draft to the coach a week prior…it’s like you meant to do it but it slipped your mind.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pretty nice of John Elway to say he’s ok with the many many red flags with Chad Kelly, like getting kicked off of Clemson’s team, where they generally don’t give a FUCK what kind of person you are as long as you can play. But Uncle Jim said he’s a good kid, so all is well.

1