[4:26PM, Somewhere in the California Desert]

The duo climbs back into Dave and tWBS starts the engine.  Without speaking, he then reaches into the backseat, opens the cooler and pulls out a beer.  He offers it to balls.

balls (pointing to cupholder):  Nah, I’m good.  I’ve still got that one.

tWBS:  One, that one’s warm by now.  And B, this isn’t to drink.

balls:  What’s it for then?

tWBS (laughing):  It’s for that massive welt on your forehead.  Wow, sorry man….she really did a number on you, huh?

balls grabs the rearview mirror and turns it in his direction.

balls:  Shit.

tWBS:  Just put that on it.  The swelling will be gone by tomorrow.  Maybe later tonight even.  The cold will keep the bruising down.  (laughing now) …  And of course, maybe try not to get beat up by a girl again n junk.

balls:  Hey!!!!  I seem to remember a certain someone on the ground gasping for air and about to puke his liquid lunch by the side of the road in the California desert.  Sound familiar?

tWBS:  It was a lucky punch.  If I had been ready….

balls:  Put your ass on the ground though, didn’t it?

tWBS:  At least I didn’t run.

balls:  YOU TOLD ME TO RUN!!!!!

tWBS (giggling):  Oh yeah.  That was funny.

balls:  We don’t share the same sense of humor on that one, I’m afraid.

tWBS:  Oh, you’re just pissed because you didn’t think of it.

balls:  No…I’m pissed because you keep trynna get me killed.  And then you somehow think it’s a good idea to chase down Covalent Blonde and then intentionally send me out to get my ass kicked.

tWBS:  In my defense, I’m not TRYING to get you killed.  It just kinda keeps happening…I guess.  Secondly, I did not chase her down.  That was Dave.  I only ran her off the road.

balls:  That doesn’t make it better.

tWBS:  Besides, we found out a little more information about where we have to go, didn’t we?

balls:  Yes, there is that.  But still….

tWBS:  Look…  I can’t change what’s happened up until now.  But at this point we’re here, we know pretty much where we’re going, and we’re close.  Let’s move forward, shall we?  I promise to even try NOT to get you killed from now on.

balls:  Well, I’m not going to say I’m not still pissed.

tWBS:  You have every right to be.  And really…I am sorry, sincerely.

balls:  Thanks.  But you’re right.  We’ve come this far, and we’re close.  So yeah, it’d be stupid to chuck it all now.  Yeah, let’s do it.

tWBS:  Awesome!!!!!

tWBS checks his mirrors, sees no traffic, and pulls Dave back out onto the interstate.  After a moment he says….

tWBS:  Besides….what could possibly go wrong between here and there?  Right?

balls:

–

After only a moment, balls says…

balls:  You know where you’re going right?

tWBS:  Yes, why?

balls:  Well I just wanna make sure you know we’re still headed east.  You’re gonna have to find a place to turn around so we can…

tWBS:  Wow, balls.  How stupid do you think I am?

balls:  I’m gonna presume that’s rhetorical.

tWBS:  Look, I’m not going thru the median again.  That’s Dave’s thing, not mine.  Next exit we come to, I’ll exit and do the safe and easy peasy turnaround.  See?  I’m lookin’ out for ya.  No getting ballsy killed today.  Cross my heart.

The two drive for a few minutes and soon see an exit approaching.  tWBS hits his blinker and begins to slow his pace.  As he eases over onto the exit ramp…

tWBS and balls together:  OH.  FUCK.

At the top of the exit ramp, seemingly parked, sits Agnes.  Her left turn signal is blinking as she sits at the stop sign, seemingly weighing her options.  tWBS hits the brakes and eases Dave off to the side.  He comes to a stop still near the bottom of the ramp.

balls:  WTF?

tWBS:  Fuck if I know man.  But we’re staying right here until we know what’s going on.  I can still get back onto the highway if need be.

The two sit and watch for a moment, when Agnes’ passenger door opens and a large object flies out and hits the ground like a sack of wet cement.  Agnes peels out, turning left.  Our heroes watch as she crosses the overpass, hangs another hard left, and speeds down the on ramp on the opposite side of la 10, now headed west.

tWBS:  OK, this is getting weird now.

balls:  No shit.

tWBS:  What now?

balls looks at tWBS knowingly.

tWBS:  Awwwww man, I don’t want to.  I don’t even want to drive by it.  What if it’s ticking?  (pointing to his left toward the eastbound lanes of I-10) … The highway is right there balls.  Alls I gotta do is hang a really hard left … and maybe do a little four wheeling down the embankment …  and then we go to the next exit.

balls:  No, I gotta know what this is about.  Drive….up there (balls points toward the stop sign at the top of the ramp) …  but slowly and…

tWBS:  I’ve got a better idea.  You walk up there and then yell back when it’s safe.

balls:  All the times you’ve nearly gotten me killed, and now this?  Besides, don’t you want to know what it is?

tWBS:  Enough to let you walk up there, sure.

balls:  Drive.  Slowly.

tWBS:  But….

balls:  Drive.  Please.

tWBS:  I hate it when you’re polite.  You know I can’t resist good manners.

balls:  Then why don’t you have any?

tWBS:  I resent that comment.

balls:  Just drive, will you please?

tWBS puts Dave into gear and slowly creeps up the off ramp.  After a few moments they’re within about twenty feet of the object.  tWBS brings Dave to a slow stop and they sit silently for a few minutes.  Finally, tWBS unbuckles his seatbelt.

tWBS (opening his door):  Well this is just taking too long now.  No guts, no glory.

balls:  Dude, no….let’s be smart about this and…

tWBS:  It’s ok man, I’m not gonna let you endanger yourself.  If I die here today, you take Dave and raise him as your own….

tWBS tails off as he jumps out of Dave and begins running toward the object.  In his head he has visions of throwing himself on the grenade to save his buddy.  He’s feeling really macho and great about himself as he closes to within 10 feet.  When he’s within 3 feet and ready to dive…..the object stands up.  tWBS, unfortunately, cannot stop his dive, realizing only too late who it is he just accidentally tackled.  The two roll down the hill, eating dirt all the way down.

Once they hit the bottom, tWBS coughs dirt from his mouth and throat, then stands up.  He reaches, holding out a hand to his unfortunate victim, helping him to his feet.

tWBS:  Wow, this is gonna be an interesting story.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers:  da Fuq, man??????  Why’d you tackle me???????

tWBS:  Didn’t know it was you.  Didn’t even know it was a person until you stood up.  I thought I was gonna save balls.

LCSS:  I have no idea what that means.

tWBS:  We’ll explain.  And you’ve got some ‘splaining to do yourself.  Let’s get up there so balls can hear, don’t want you to have to tell it twice.

The two climb the hill back to where balls and Dave await at the stop sign.

balls:  Holy shit.

balls and LCSS hug it out.

LCSS:  So this is weird, huh?

balls and tWBS look at each other and laugh.

balls:  Low on the weirdness scale right about now.  C’mon, let’s drive.  We can talk on the way.  Where were you guys headed anyway?

LCSS:  Arizona.

balls and tWBS share a discreet “this oughta be good” look as they climb into Dave.  LCSS loads up in the back seat and soon Dave hangs two quick lefts and is headed west again on La 10, now with three heroes rather than just two.

–

Twenty minutes later….

balls (giggling):  So what you’re telling me is that you were planning on doing a tour of reasonably close NFL cities and…

LCSS:  Hey man, give me a break.  I’m grieving.  Sometimes you do crazy things when you’re grieving.

balls:  Fair enough.  But Arizona?

LCSS:  I dunno man, leave me alone.

tWBS:  I get it, LCSS.  When the Colts left Baltimore I actually became a Steelers fan for a long time and…..

balls:  Careful….

tWBS:  Hear me out….  They’re still my 2nd favorite team, in spite of the whole Ravens thing now.  Fandom creates odd loyalties.  But seriously….Arizona?

LCSS: I dunno man, leave me alone.

balls:  Oh relax, we’re just messing with ya.  And why didn’t you show yourself before when dicknose here ran her off the road back there?

LCSS:  Well, you were both getting your asses kicked.  I figured why should I?  I kept my head down and my mouth shut.

balls and tWBS together:  Smart.

tWBS:  So why’d she kick you out of the car?

balls:  Yeah I was kinda wondering about that myself.

LCSS:  She was mad at tWBS and calling him names and stuff…

tWBS (laughing):  And?

balls:  Yeah, and?  That’s not exactly….

LCSS:  I told her she shouldn’t have broken the bong.

balls and tWBS together (giggling):  Yep, that’d do it.

tWBS:  OK, but what I don’t get is the whole CB thing to begin with.  Why were you with her?  Why would she need a new team?

balls:

tWBS:

LCSS:

tWBS:  Anyway, I guess she changed her mind too.  She’s tearing up the road west again, just ahead of us.  (thinking now) …  In fact….

balls:  No….no way.

tWBS:  It’s just hypothetical at this point.  Don’t go panicking yet.

balls:  No.  Just stick to the speed limit.  We do not need this.

tWBS:  I told ya…relax.  We’re just talking right now.

balls:  Fine then, let’s talk.  What good can possibly come from….from….from whatever fucked up thought is running thru your so-called mind right now?

tWBS:  Well if you’re gonna get mean again, then let’s just forget it.

balls:  Good, let’s forget it.

tWBS (getting excited again now):  But if I WAS gonna answer that….  She beat us up…

LCSS (giggling):  Yeah she did.

balls and tWBS together:  Shut up.

LCSS:  Hee hee.

tWBS:  She took our stuff.

balls:  So what?

tWBS (sighing):  Yeah, you’re right.  I know you’re right.  It would be stupid.

LCSS:  If it makes any difference, guys….my backpack is still in her car.  And I really need it back ASAP.

tWBS becomes visibly excited again.  He looks at balls….

balls:  Fiiiiine.  But you’ll never catch her anyway.

tWBS (to LCSS):  Did she say anything about where she’s headed?

LCSS:  Just something about the Raiders I think.  Oh and the Rams.

balls:  Well shit.  That doesn’t narrow it down.  She could be going anywhere as much as those two teams move around these days.

tWBS (snickering):  Right?

LCSS:  I don’t find that sort of humor funny these days, guys.

balls:  Sorry.

tWBS (excited again):  Wait, why didn’t I think of this before?  (to LCSS while looking in rearview mirror at him)  …  Sorry dude, no time to explain.  We’ll take the questions as they come I guess?

balls:  Phrasing?

tWBS:  Kinda.  Sorry again LCSS.  Hold on, btw….

LCSS:  Wait, whu….

tWBS sets cruise control, then says….

tWBS:  Dave?  Find Agnes.

Dave’s engine roars and he immediately accelerates.  He quickly moves into the passing lane and begins putting vehicle after vehicle into his rear view mirror.  When his speedometer hits 110MPH, tWBS says…

tWBS:  OK Dave, that’s a bit much.  Let’s back it back a tad.

Dave’s speedometer drops to 100MPH and stays there as he continues to weave and pass anything ahead of him.  tWBS turns around and looks at LCSS in the back seat.

tWBS (to LCSS):  Look Ma!!!!  No hands!!!!

LCSS: 

–

The trio rides along in silence for a little while.  tWBS can see in the rear view mirror that LCSS is having some….difficulty…

Eventually tWBS leans over toward balls…

tWBS (whispering):  He’s been awfully quiet.  You think he’s OK?

balls:  Well, you did sort of drop a bomb in his lap.

tWBS:  Hehehehe…..phrasing.

balls:  Seriously, though.  How did you expect him to react?

tWBS:  Yeah, I know.  But I kinda had to.  (looking in rear view mirror at LCSS)  …  You OK back there, buddy?  You got any questions?

LCSS:  Nope.  Your truck drives itself.  It takes voice commands.  It’s all very explainable with today’s technology.

tWBS (to balls):  See?  He’s fine.

balls:  Yes, obviously.

tWBS:  Hey!!!!  You really wanna freak him out?  Show him your bag.

balls:  No, I really don’t.  And maybe tomorrow.  Let’s just get this over with already and get on our way.  Which reminds me….. just what are you planning if we do find her?

tWBS:  I dunno.  That’s part of the fun.

balls:  Well if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not get beaten up again.

tWBS:  If at all possible.  I promise.

They ride a while longer and soon the sun is falling low in the sky ahead of them.  Suddenly, Dave’s pace slows noticeably.

LCSS:  Now what’s happening????

balls:  Relax, relax.  Dave must think we’re close.  That’s all.

LCSS:  Dave?

tWBS:  Yeah, we kinda left something out before when we told you about how we ended up there to cross paths with you guys in the first place.

LCSS:  Oh Jeebus.  Why do I think I want to be high for this?

tWBS:  Go for it.  It might help, actually.

LCSS:  I can’t.  My stash is in my backpack.  Why do you think I need it back ASAP?

balls:  Hang on….

balls reaches to the floor and picks up his paper luggage.  He reaches inside and pulls out a perfectly rolled joint and passes it back to LCSS who wastes no time blazing up.

LCSS (coughing):  Thanks man, no shit.  You’re a lifesaver!!!

balls:  No problem.  Just relax and then we’ll tell you the rest and you ca…..

balls stops his sentence short when he sees the look tWBS is giving him.

balls (to tWBS):  ….  What?

tWBS:  The bag makes weed.  Of course it does.  You couldn’t have shown me that little trick before now?

balls:  Yeah sure….OK.  I’d never have gotten it back.

tWBS:  Fair point.

Unexpectedly, from the backseat….

LCSS (laughing):  So really, no shit?  It was your idea to chase her down?  Because you wanted to see that sweet ass?!?!?  Holy shit Dave, that’s fucking hilarious!!!!

balls and tWBS share a look of interest….

Then balls turns and asks….

balls (to LCSS):  How you doing back there?

LCSS:  Fine, why?  Why are you looking at me like that?

balls:  No look.  Just checking.

LCSS:  Yeah, I’m good.  Also Dave says he’s gonna exit up here.  She’s up here.

balls and tWBS look at one another again.

tWBS (whisper yelling):  What did you do????

balls:  Whaddya mean?

tWBS:  I didn’t hear Dave say that just now.

balls:  Ooooops……?????  Hey, at least he’s on board now.  That’s good..right?

tWBS:  We’ll see I guess.  This should be interesting, at least.

Dave exits and turns right.  Quickly he turns right again, into the parking lot of a small motel.  He creeps thru the lot and soon slows to a stop.  Ahead, parked in front of one of the rooms, is Agnes.

–

balls:  So?

tWBS:  Soooo….what?

balls:  What’s the plan?

tWBS:  Ummmmm…if I said “you go knock”…would you do it?

balls:  No.

LCSS (giggling):  Dave thinks that was funny.

tWBS:  Oh Jeebus, fine.  We’re being pussies here.  I’m just gonna pull in next to….

LCSS:  Dave says no.  Never give up advantage of concealment unless forced.  Plus he doesn’t want to get shot again.

balls:  Fine, how about we park over there, and we’ll all walk up and have a look?

LCSS:  Dave says never reveal your true numbers until necessary or advantageous.

balls (to tWBS):  da Fuq man?  Is Dave inhabited by the spirit of Sun Tzu or something?

tWBS:  I dunno but he’s pissing me off right now.  But that would be kinda cool if he was, huh?

balls:  So what do we do?

tWBS:  Fuck it.  No guts, no glory!!!  Again!!!!  And fuck you Dave, you two-timing hussy.

tWBS gets out of Dave and walks quickly toward Agnes’ passenger side.  He pulls the handle of the passenger side door and….it opens.

Meanwhile, back in Dave….

LCSS (giggling):  Hey balls….Dave says watch this.   It’s gonna be funny.

tWBS opens Agnes’ passenger door and looks inside.  There is no backpack.  He looks behind the seats, then in the back seat.  No backpack.  As he’s about to close Agnes’ door and retreat, he sees a note taped to the glovebox.  He pulls it free and reads it…

Did you really think I didn’t know you’d come looking for LCSS’ stuff?  And did you really think I didn’t know Dave could find Agnes?  You’re dumber than I thought.  Way to give up your advantage, dumbass.

tWBS closes the Agnes door and turns to walk back to Dave.  When he does, Covalent Blonde jumps out from the shadows behind Agnes…

CB:  Boo!!!!!

tWBS screams like a girl and falls over backwards into the dirt.  CB can only laugh.  Dave and all of his occupants laugh hysterically.

tWBS:  OH COME ON!!!!!

CB (laughing):  Get up, you pussy.  And get those other idiots in here too.

As CB walks back inside her room, tWBS stands up and waves balls and LCSS over and they all go inside and have a seat.  CB tosses LCSS his backpack.

CB:  Here, Dude.  And sorry about before, really.  But you should think before you speak next time.

She then moves over to her own bag, unzips a pocket and pulls something out.  She comes back and sits with the guys and begins talking…

CB (pointing to tWBS):  Earlier, when that pinhead over there ran me off the road, I was…  Well, let me start earlier than that.  Before we left, I picked this up and put it in my bag  (raises closed fist, still concealing what it holds) …  There was no reason for me to bring it along.  Or even pick it up for that matter.  Yet for some reason I did, and now I know why.

balls:  CB, I’m not sure I underst….

CB:  Lemme finish.  Earlier, after the whole running me off the road thing, I realized that the decals on the back of Agnes weren’t the point.  Well they were, but not the whole point.  But it freaked me out so I didn’t say anything at the time.  balls, what I told you earlier about where I climbed that weekend will get you close.  But not close enough, I don’t think.  I guess that’s why I picked this up without even realizing it.

tWBS:  You’ve lost me.

CB:  Yeah, like that’s difficult.

tWBS:  Hey!!!  LCSS is the one that’s high on magic weed right now and….

balls:  Hey man, shut up.  Let her finish.

CB:  Anyway, what I told you earlier will get you close.  But this will get you closer.

Covalent Blonde opens her hand and reveals a small rock, contained inside a Lucite container.

CB:  I only saw it in one place.  You match this rock, you’ll find what you’re looking for I think.

CB hands the rock to balls.

–

tWBS is already outside, standing next to Agnes, speaking under his breath…as balls, LCSS and CB hug it out.  When balls and LCSS begin walking toward Dave, tWBS starts to follow them but stops.  He turns and looks at CB…

tWBS:  FWIW, thank you for this.  This is important to him and….well…  Just thanks.

tWBS turns without saying anything else and moves to follow the path to Dave.  When he’s there and about to open his door, CB yells out….

CB:  Hey!!!!  FWIW….I AM sorry about the bong.

tWBS smiles and nods his acknowledgement, but says nothing.  He climbs into Dave.

LCSS:  That was weird, huh?  But fun.  Hey, speaking of fun…..you got any more of that weed?

balls and tWBS together:  NO!!!

balls sits quietly, looking at the rock CB gave him.

tWBS (to balls):  So?  Does it mean anything to you?

balls:  I’m not sure yet.  I think so…but….

tWBS:  Well, let’s just head that way and see what we see.  If nothing else we know where to look….sort of.  Sound good?

LCSS:  So….on that weed thing….you’re sure you don’t have any more?

Both:  Yes!!!!!

LCSS:  Well shit.  Can you guys at least take me home then?

Both:  No!!!!!!

LCSS:  But…

tWBS:  You already planned the weekend away, right?

LCSS (nervous):  Ummmm…yeah.

balls:  Then you’re coming with us!!!!!

tWBS:  Phrasing?

balls:  Fuck, let’s hope so.

LCSS:  But…

tWBS (to balls):  You wanna tell him or should I?

balls (to tWBS):  I got it …  (turns to look at LCSS in the backseat) …  Soooooo….you see that thing over there beside you?

LCSS:  My pack, yeah.

balls:  Remember what’s in it?

LCSS:  OH YEAH!!!!  Shit, sorry.  I might be a little high.

tWBS:  Hey, smoke up, Johnny!!!!

To Be Continued……