Your “Death From Above; Baltimore Monday” Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • ESPN had someone follow future broadcaster Tony Romo around a golf course during his US Open qualifier.
    • I don’t think they cut back enough.
  • Future broadcaster & futurer GM Jay Cutler advises the Bears to not play Mitch Trubisky if the season goes into the shitter.
    • “If it’s going downhill, there’s no way I’m playing him. For what? So he can go out there and take a beating and he can get off to a rough start as an NFL quarterback?” said a man familiar with John Fox’s handiwork.
  • ¡Hola Crimebeat! Second-year Jets WR Robby Anderson was arrested in Miami for scuffling with security & then resisting arrest. Because why go half-assed?!
  • ESPN dropped Jerome Bettis today, probably because Trent Dilfer can’t even get laid off without taking a quality running back with him.
Not his worst drop however…
  • Not cut by ESPN? Tim Tebow, who had his contract extended today.
    • Wait – he’s not Roy Hobbs?

Finally, the NFL has purchased a 3% stake in Fanatics, the sports retailer that also runs its official online shop.

  • This way, they make money off both the licencing of trademarks and the profits the company makes off of sales.
  • Fanatics is the “master licencee” for the NFL, meaning that companies go through Fanatics in order to make branded products.
    • allowing a sub-licencing fee to be collected
  • FYI:
    • MLB also has a 1.5% stake in Fanatics.
    • Fanatics just bought Majestic Athletic, which produces jerseys for MLB.

On a quest for science videos of birds of prey today, I stumbled across a fantastic livestream of a Peregrine Falcon nest on a Baltimore rooftop, which became extremely interesting once the mother brought a rat up to feed to the chicks.

Sadly, not “White” Mike McArdle.

It looks like I now have an educational distraction to keep open on my desktop, one that knows to finish the Patriots its prey before celebrating feeding it to its young.

PLAY ‘TIL IT’S DEAD!

Anyway, the top of the Transamerica tower has never looked lovelier, or poop-strewn.

Enjoy!


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Capitals at Penguins – 7:30PM | NBCSN / CBC / Sportsnet
      • Game 6 – Pens up 3-2
  • NBA:
    • Warriors at Jazz – 9:00PM | TNT / TSN
      • Game 4 – Warriors up 3-0
  • MLB:
    • Giants at Mets – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Cleveland at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1

LeBron & company beat the Raptors into the ground, so now Toronto is out of sports teams to follow. OH, SO SAD!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Senor Weaselo

I wanted an ice cream sandwich. Even though the deli on the corner’s open 24 hours, they lock the door when it’s late. That was enough of a buzzkill to not get an ice cream sandwich. So I cracked open a beer. It isn’t quite the same.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WHY CAN’T IT BE BOTH?!?!?
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??!?

Senor Weaselo

There’s gotta be an ice cream sandwich stout somewhere.

Unsurprised

A shitty local chain made one here two years ago.

https://untappd.com/b/mcmenamins-ice-cream-sandwich-stout/1051674

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

FUCK

Senor Weaselo

Shit, well I know what I’m getting Friday.
/Probably not actually, gotta get the garlic fries

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey jackholes….time to pokre….errrrrr poker. Damn Canadia.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, I will murder the Caps’ team bus when they fuck this up in g7.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

Pokre? I hardly know hre!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Gotta teach the Little Masters early.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blaxabbath

Good Dilfer joke!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://68.media.tumblr.com/5b919cb607b0eee0a67137b3a2b01d55/tumblr_op37v8LqWW1r8vrhxo1_1280.png

His agent strongly denies the use of PEDs and blame laboratory shabby procedures for the “false positive” test.

Senor Weaselo

Better than the other option for a “Twitty Burger.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Pfizer; triple bad.

Senor Weaselo

That’s what the TV shows say.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://68.media.tumblr.com/fc034554d2c0cdec559b9805936f9abb/tumblr_oisnp7OF7x1w0tr7co2_r1_1280.jpg

Grandma’s little secret; she’d kick people asses for cash money.

Unsurprised

I need to get new walking shoes. It turns out that actually walking my fat ass wears out sneakers.

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Wakezilla

Wooo! How about dem Ice Slurs?

King Hippo

Did you mean BOO!!!?? Because then, yes. Because Washington sports fans are the worst, with apologies to Dok, tWBS, and the Commentists who are the exceptions that prove the rule.

The upside is I will watch zero of a Disney v. whoever or a NYR/WAS series, so I can spend MOAR time dedicated to my depressing reading and dark thoughts.

King Hippo

Is Matt Murray, like, ded? I mean, I guess it doesn’t really matter if you score 0 in a home Game 6, but Flower is gonna be covered in his own shit before the Game 7 puck even drops…

Gratliff

Fleury’s always been like this, though. His success has been entirely dependent on hot streaks and an absurd level of scoring talent.

King Hippo

yup. And every time, people seem convinced it will end differently, but it NEVAR does. Clock strikes midnight, and he shits all over the place. Which is why he’s good to have as a backup for a few games, sure. But you can ride him through an entire playoffs.

I barely understood Ice Footy at all, but even I can see this pattern.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So a ……………FLEURY OF VICTORIES???

JustStopDude

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King Hippo

Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals’ Miguel Socolovich got one of them 3-inning saves we discussed awhile back.

This one was preserving a 9-3 lead and ending 9-4, so marginally MOAR save-ish.

When the Yanks win, first place in the NL Central will be wearing jorts!!

Senor Weaselo

There was the guy who got the save in the 30-3 game.

King Hippo

There’s a lot of pressure in being under so little pressure ,, ppl forget that…

Senor Weaselo

The Yankee bench gave Starlin Castro finger guns, I repeat, we have finger guns!

LemonJello

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Gratliff
Unsurprised

I’ve seen enough pixelated porn. She’s stroking his ego more than anything else.

JustStopDude
LemonJello

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JustStopDude

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Senor Weaselo

If only he hit the cameraguy in the dick.

LemonJello

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Senor Weaselo

I love kid ping-pong!

Unsurprised

I read The Undoing Project last week. It’s great. Michael Lewis’s books are much better than the shit movies that are based on them.

Shogun Marcus

They’re bringing back Love Connection?!

King Hippo

I am only cool with this if it involves ppl being shot at various intervals.

Unsurprised

something something Penn State vs. Baylor vs. Notre Dame

JustStopDude

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Gratliff

Sweet baby jesus fuck. I just felt a vertebrae pop from watching a gif.

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WCS

GGGGAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The Maestro

OW OW OW OW OW FUCK MY FUCKING BACK OW OW OW