Man, I’ll never forget you, vodkamanrick, or gindudebill, or whatever your name was… As it turns out, it’s tough slogging when the rest of us have to pull extra duty in the content mines to make up for your GLOREE BOY vacation time.

So… a theme for this evening… well as it turns out, there is, ultimately, extremely little going on all over the world. I believe weekends like these are classically referred to as “the dog days of summer.”

What the fuck is up with that moniker? What is it even supposed to mean? I’ve always construed that as a rather negative connotation, with us lot trying to deal with supposed boredom and/or restlessness of trying to deal with constant high temperatures, humidity and the lack of structure in many weekend days at this time of year. And if, theoretically, that’s what you’re trying to convey, then why pick on dogs, a universally beloved creature, as the metaphor for this feeling? Why not something all of us can get behind disliking… like mosquitoes, or horseflies, or snails? I dunno. Just something none of us particularly give a shit about.

At any rate, with the utter lack of any overarching theme to tie today’s Open Thread together, I turned to Google to see if there were any events happening worth writing about.

Turns out that there is. July 9th marks the following events:

• Martyrdom of the Bab (A key Baha’i figure, apparently)
• National Barn Day (They recommend you drive around all day and look at barns. Yes, really.)
• National Fashion Day (Though you’d have figured they would do that during, like, NYC Fashion Week or something though, right?)
• National Sugar Cookie Day (The most boring of cookies, which seems fitting for the dog days of summer)
• National “Don’t Put All Your Eggs In One Omelet” Day (FUCK YOU I DEMAND A 12-EGG OMELET AND A NAP IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS WHEN I MAKE MY BREAKFAST DAMMIT)

But most importantly…

• National No Bra Day.

I knew there was something worthwhile celebrating on a random July weekend.

So enjoy celebrating this incredibly important holiday however best suits you, whether it’s with significant others, possible new “friends”, or maybe in the comfort of your own home in pleasant solitude… seriously, we don’t judge. Just celebrating is enough.

The TV lineup for this evening:

• MLB: your last games before the All-Star Break happens.
  • Tigers vs. Indians, 8 PM EST (ESPN, TSN1, 3, 4, 5)
• NBA Summer League Games:
  • Timberwolves vs. Nuggets, 6:30 PM EST (ESPN2)
  • Trail Blazers vs. Celtics, 8:30 PM EST (ESPN2)
• Gold Cup Soccer:
  • Curacao vs. Jamaica, 7:00 PM EST (FS1)
  • Mexico vs. El Salvador, 9:30 PM EST (FS1, TSN2)
• LPGA: Thornberry Creek LPGA Classic, Oneida, WI, 5:30-8:30 PM EST (Golf Channel)
• Tour de France: Stage 9, 9:30 PM EST (NBCSN)

Anyways, Happy Sunday to you all. Tomorrow is Monday, yet another work day, the start to yet another soul-crushing work week, commemorating time’s relentless pursuit of destroying everything that is good and worthwhile. Make the most of this evening, folks. You’ve earned it.