CFL Beat: Week 4

The Maestro
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Yes, I’m happy that we’ve got real life football going on right now – but you know what else is coming back shortly, besides NFL training camps? GAME OF MOTHER FUCKIN’ THRONES, THAT’S WHAT. I have a pretty solid weekend plan lined up right now – two CFL games to watch on Friday night, probably a long bike ride Saturday, another CFL game in the evening, a sleep-in on Sunday, a little car speaker upgrading… and White Walkers fucking all the shit up in gloriously expensive CGI sequences at 9 PM Eastern Standard Time. I think I may finally be living my best life right now. Onto the games!


BC 23 vs. Montreal 16: Jeremiah Johnson had a whale of a game for the Lions, leading the way with 102 all-purpose yards and 2 touchdowns to help cement a solid road win. BC has been so fortunate to have so many weapons available to them on offence, as QB Jonathon Jennings has been rather pedestrian 3 games into this young season, with only 2 total touchdowns thrown. Montreal had a number of opportunities to come back and win late in the 4th quarter, just after Lions backup QB Travis Lulay scored a rushing TD, but they ended up pissing them all away – a late Darian Durant interception ended up in the hands of LB Anthony Gaitor, and after forcing a 2-and-out and a punt from the Lions, they were called for too many men on the field, and the ball stayed in BC’s possession where they took two knees to end the game. Montreal needs to get their passing game going – the run game looks good with Tyrell Sutton getting the bulk of the carries, but Durant’s communication with his receivers is still lacking – of the six teams that have played 3 games thus far this year, the Alouettes are dead last in passing yards, with just 644 total through three weeks, over 200 yards behind the 5th-place Lions, who have 853 through 3 games.



Calgary 29 vs. Winnipeg 10: Much like last year, the Stampeders continue to have the Blue Bombers’ number. Winnipeg took a 10-9 lead into halftime, but Calgary came to life in the third, with a quick field goal from Rene Paredes to hand them the lead, and linebacker Maleki Harris picked off Matt Nichols to make it 19-10 after the convert. Subsequent touchdown catches by Kamar Jorden and another field goal by Paredes sealed the deal in the 4th. Neither quarterback played particularly well today – Nichols and Mitchell had two turnovers each to go with only a single touchdown pass each as well. Unfortunately for the Bombers, even with an excellent all-around from RB Andrew Harris, who had 108 all-purpose yards on the night, it wasn’t enough to counter Calgary’s depth. Jerome Messam paced the Stamps in the backfield with 71 yards on 17 carries.

PICK: Calgary

RESULT: Calgary

Toronto 26 vs. Ottawa 25: Up 12-1 at halftime, the REDBLACKS had two costly turnovers in the third quarter that ended up being the difference-maker – one off a fumbled snap that got booted back into the end zone and recovered for a touchdown by the Argos, and the other off an uncharacteristically poor throw by Trevor Harris where free safety Jermaine Gabriel jumped the route and ran all the way back to the end zone. Ricky Ray had an extremely solid game – he threw the 300th touchdown pass of his career to DeVier Posey, and had some excellent chemistry with SJ Green all night – the receiver had 10 catches for 210 yards, absolutely destroying cornerback AJ Jefferson, who was assigned to cover him all game. While Ottawa made it close with a late TD throw to Greg Ellingson, kicker Brett Maher missed the point after to keep the score at 26-25, and later just barely missed a 59-yarder as time expired that would have won it for the REDBLACKS. Ottawa now embarks on a tough stretch of schedule still looking for their first win.

PICK: Ottawa

RESULT: Toronto

Hamilton 20 vs. Saskatchewan 37: After an early goal-line pick-six that gave Hamilton a 7-2 lead, Kevin Glenn and the Roughriders responded by taking the screws to the Ti-Cats for the rest of the game. The veteran quarterback led the way with a fantastic game after his initial interception, finishing 32-43 for 380 yards and two touchdowns, and added an additional two rushing TDs as well to his gaudy total. It’s early yet, but he’s probably enjoying playing with a rebuilt receiving corps that features not only the uber-talented Naaman Roosevelt, but other castoff stars as well in former Stampeder Bakari Grant, former Alouette Duron Carter, and longtime Rider vet Rob Bagg as well. For Hamilton, the initial lead crumbled away quickly, and their poise and discipline to boot. With his offensive line doing an abysmal job of protecting the pocket early so far this season, Collaros finished just 19-34 for 189 yards and a touchdown – a far cry from the 2015 where he was looking like the runaway MOP winner before his ACL injury. Ti-Cats safety Will Hill, former New York Giant and Baltimore Raven, was ejected from this game – and subsequently suspended and fine – for a ridiculously stupid sequence where he grabbed an official’s jersey by the collar and yelled directly in his face, and then punched a Saskatchewan opponent immediately afterwards. So yeah, the Tabbies are officially a mess now.

PICK: Hamilton

RESULT: Saskatchewan

BYE: Edmonton (2-0)


Toronto (2-1) vs. Winnipeg (1-1), Thursday, July 13th, 8:30 PM EST: An unfortunate hit for the Argos after last week’s impressive come-from-behind win: receiver DeVier Posey has been placed on the 6-game injured list, and he’ll be unavailable for the next while. Ricky Ray is fortunate to have other serious threats in SJ Green and Armanti Edwards available, but it’s definitely going to change the dynamic of their offence somewhat. Might we see more of RB Brandon Whitaker moving forward? Winnipeg definitely took a step back in their loss to Calgary last week, which all things considered, is not an incredible shocker considering just how good the Stampeders have been as of late, but it’ll be curious to see if they can hold the fort down against a team that has also been on a roll like Toronto as of late.

PICK: Toronto

Calgary (2-0-1) vs. Montreal (1-2), Friday, July 14th, 7:00 PM EST: The Stamps keep rolling, while the Als keep faltering. So far, after a strong opener, Darian Durant isn’t living up to his hefty contract, and the passing game, as previously mentioned, needs lots of work. While Tyrell Sutton is a good running back, he lacks the same pass-catching abilities that other top CFL backs like Jeremiah Johnson and Andrew Harris possess, and thus, Montreal can’t simply lean on him to carry the team in the midst of yet another quarterback funk. Unfortunately for the Als, this won’t be any easier for them to right the ship, especially against arguably the top team in the league in Calgary. While Montreal has an overall very good defence, if their offence can’t sustain some drives, the ability for the Stampeders to stretch their clock time out is going to end up tiring the Als’ D earlier than they’d otherwise hope for.

PICK: Calgary

Ottawa (0-2-1) vs. Edmonton (2-0), Friday, July 14th, 10:00 PM EST: Ottawa GM Marcel Desjardins was so unimpressed with the work of his secondary last week that he ended up cutting one of his top 2017 offseason signings – cornerback AJ Jefferson, who had been assigned to cover the Argos’ SJ Green, and ended up getting absolutely torched in the process. Things won’t get any easier for them this week, as they’re not only playing their second of four games in just 16 days, but are also up against arguably the top quarterback in the league in Mike Reilly and his formidable offence; oh, and the Eskimos are coming off their first bye week feeling rested and prepared. This is absolutely not an ideal start to the season for the defending Grey Cup champs, and they’ll be in tough to right the ship even further still.

PICK: Edmonton

BC (2-1) vs. Hamilton (0-2), Saturday, July 15th, 7:30 PM EST: No Will Hill, no Terence Toliver, no Kevin Elliott, and no Emmanuel Davis – big hits on both offence and defence for the Ti-Cats. It’s probably not going to be a happy home opener for Hamilton, as the Lions have looked very good in previous wins over Toronto and Montreal. One sore spot for the Leos, though – Jonathon Jennings needs to be more effective in the red zone. With only two touchdowns in three games, the team needs more from him. BC will also be happy to have Swayze Waters – fresh off the injury list – back to kick for them, as they’ve been waiting for him to get healthy since he returned to the CFL from the Carolina Panthers earlier this spring. Hopefully, though, they won’t need to lean on Waters to make up for any Jennings shortcomings this game.


BYE: Saskatchewan (1-2)


East Division Standings

Team Games Wins Losses Ties Points For Points Against
Toronto 3 2 1 0 73 68
Montreal 3 1 2 0 52 62
Ottawa 3 0 2 1 95 100
Hamilton 2 0 2 0 35 69

West Division Standings

Team Games Wins Losses Ties Points For Points Against
Calgary 3  2 0 1 103 80
Edmonton 2 0 0 0 53 46
BC 3 2 1 0 78 61
Winnipeg 2 1 1 0 53 69
Saskatchewan 3 1 2 0 93 80

Passing Yards

  1. Ray, EDM – 1199
  2. Harris, OTT – 1095
  3. Glenn, SSK – 1055

Passing TDs

  1. Glenn, SSK – 7
  2. Harris, OTT – 7
  3. Mitchell, CGY – 6

Rushing Yards

  1. Sutton, MTL – 210
  2. Johnson, BC – 196
  3. Messam, CGY – 187

Receiving Yards

  1. Ellingson, OTT – 218
  2. Green, TOR – 209
  3. Roosevelt, SSK – 199


Remember to submit your picks here!

Rank Total Points Weekly Score Win Percentage
Spanky Datass 9 2-2  75%
SonOfSpam 7 3-1 58.33%
Joliet Jake Delhomme 7 1-3 58.33%
Litre_Cola 7 2-2 58.33%
The Maestro 7 2-2 58.33%
Ballsofsteelandfury 6 3-1 50%
Game Time Decision 5 2-2 41.67%
Low Commander 4 2-2 33.33%


The Maestro
The Maestro
The Maestro is a mystical Canadian internet user and New England Patriots fan; when the weather is cooperative and the TV signal at his igloo is strong enough, he enjoys watching the NFL, the Ottawa Senators & REDBLACKS, and yelling into the abyss on Twitter. He is somehow allowed to teach music to high school students when he isn't in a blind rage about sports, and is also a known connoisseur of cheap beers across the Great White North.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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1 Caveat: Lions released Swayze Waters. He has been healthy enough to kick for 2 weeks, but has been out performed in practice and pregames.

I think Lions are going to lay an egg this week. They took 2/2 road games so far, which they’ll consider a win. As opposed to last week where they stayed in the East, this week they flew home and are still here. I think complacency will cost the Leos this week. Also, the o-line regression this season is going to burn them eventually. Jennings isn’t to blame for a lot of the red zone woes.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

I guess ESPN is skipping any CFL coverage this week so they can re-broadcast the Espy’s all weekend on ALL THEIR CHANNELS! Fuckers.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass


Game Time Decision

I’m not last

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [dances to the CFL Beat]

(you have to listen to or at least be familiar with the song to understand the next joke – ed.)


[switches to glide]

– Lynyrd Skynyrd’s pilot

Don T

SPOILER ALERT: Lady Mormont shames the White King. The White Walkers stay on the other side of the wall to avoid another tongue lashing.
The End.
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But are there boobies?

Don T

Topless Hodor flashback

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Tongue lashing you say?


Alternate nicknames:

Toronto Arrrghs (Pirate mascot)
Montreal Al Bundys (ave 4 TDs per game)
Ottawa Coloureds (the jersey, you racist!)
Hamilton Pussies (it’s not offensive if it’s literal)
Edmonton E pills (yes, I’m old)
BC ☇ DC (cheerleaders in rock outfits)
The Filthy Reginas


BCDC is one of the best cover bands on offer. Seriously