Your “We’re Barely Halfway There, Don’t Wuss Out, Keep On Drankin'” Late Afternoon Games Thread

Things got started early today in London.  The Ratbirds missed their wake up call, however.  Yeeeeesh.

But we’re at the day’s halfway point finally.  What’s on tap this late afternoon?

 

Seattle at Tennessee (4:05pmEDT, FOX)

I like the Titans and Mariota in this one.  Take Tennessee and give the 2 points.  Plus, as usual, Pete Carroll is on drugs….

“I think we’ll continue to grow,” Seattle coach Pete Carroll said after last week’s victory over the 49ers. “We’re going to get better. I think we can see us making the improvement that’s going to be important for us.”

SMGDH

 

Cincinnati at Green Bay (4:25pmEDT, CBS)

The Bungles can’t score.  The Cheesedicks can’t stop anybody from scoring.  It’s the classic “Resistible Force meets the Movable Object” scenario.  That being said, the Packers probably have the better chance at the bounce back win.  Duh.  Take the Packers, give the 6.5.  Also, Marvin Lewis is doing his best Pete Carroll impression soooo….

“We have to have a direction of execution and things have to fit together and we’ve got to provide opportunity to attack the defense,” Lewis said. “We’ve got to do a great job attacking what is our perceived weakness of the defense and get the ball to our guys who can make plays.”

“Perceived” weaknesses.  LOL.

 

Kansas City at Nawt San Diego (4:25pmEDT, CBS)

First, Andy Reid has apparently accumulated too much cholesterol in his cerebral arteries….

“I’m from there so I’m an L.A. guy,” Reid said. “I’m glad pro football is back. It’s a big city and it can handle two teams.”

…but I get it.  Coachspeak.  AKA…bullshit.  If either team is still there in 10 years, I’ll shoot myself.  If both teams are still there, I’ll shoot you.

KC is the no brainer in this one, -3.  But honestly, I wouldn’t bet this game.  Alex Smith has overachieved and is due to fall.  Philip Rivers hasn’t exactly underachieved necessarily, but he has had a difficult time getting the motor running consistently, mostly due to lack of complimentary parts.  I think that changes today, even if it does occur only temporarily and in the wrong town.  Bolts get their first LA win by a FG late.

Also, CBSSports.com still has this game listed as being played in Qualcomm Stadium.  Way to go, CBS.  I mean it’s not like the Bolts moving from San Diego to LA was a big story or anything.  I understand how you might have missed it.  You’re doing fine.

 

OK folks.  Go, watch, drink, comment.

Make me proud.

But pace yourselves…we’ve still got the late late SNF game yet to go…

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

INJURY REPORT: Redshirt (concussion protocol due to facepalm)

Senor Weaselo

He’s dead, Jim.

Mother Puncher

“Now to Tracy, our cramps expert.”

-a joke I typed and then deleted because I didn’t want to post it

ballsofsteelandfury

Be proud of it. She has a permanent scowl on her face. I would NOT want to be near her on her period.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

“Hey, LaFell – watch this” – Joe M.

Redshirt

“Okay, I’ll be the runningba-AH!” – Andy D.

Redshirt

Why for you stop the clock, Bengals?

King Hippo

Nice fucking route, LaFell

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

FWIW, I really, really, reeeeeeeaaalllllyyyy wish Houston would have pulled out the win.
That is all, do carry on.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

FUCKING P*TS!! THE HATE GROWS EVEN MORE.

Romonobyl

That’s the real reason.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WATT HAD ONE JOB! ONE JOOOOOOOOOOB!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Hot taek: C-Hox should have kicked the field goal.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

It wasn’t a goose, but still, fucking geese.

King Hippo

God help the peoples with this KC/Shitty Clippers match as their only FOOTBAW

ballsofsteelandfury

That would be me.

Its a good thing I don’t give a fuck anymore.

King Hippo

but, but, but BATTLE FOR LA!!!!1111

ballsofsteelandfury

also, I’m still making fun of you for thinking the rams will win the division. Titans are legit good. Seattle will be back.

King Hippo

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!

/all teh way to 9-7

ballsofsteelandfury

I want to do one of those bets that mayors of major cities do for championships with you.

I will send you (what does LA produce?) A BOX OF PORN if the Rams win.

I expect Carolina BBQ sauce in return.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

How it is only 7:00? It feels like this 2nd half in CIN-GB has lasted days.

Gratliff

I’ve never seen a hail mary with 7 minutes to go

King Hippo

3rd and 29…

Redshirt

NFL Blitz!

Brocky

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ballsofsteelandfury

Pop quiz: Have there been more Star Trek series or Porn Parodies?

fleshwound_NPG

Porn outnumbers all

ballsofsteelandfury

This is the correct answer

Brocky

Are we counting space nuts as a star trek parody?

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IronAvenger6491

Fun Fact for the 2017 Season.

The New York Giants have only held a lead for about Four Minutes in Three games.

IronAvenger6491

Tennessee gonna find a way to steal Defeat from the jaws of Victory.

King Hippo

King Laserface promised to throw a pickerception for each of his spawn?

Mother Puncher

How many takes did this skateboarding commercial take?

I’ve never seen a human being land a skateboard trick, and I’m not convinced a person ever actually has.

Senor Weaselo

All the times I’ve been at Union Square and Washington Square Park, I have seen maybe three successful board flips?

IronAvenger6491

I’m gonna need Carr and Cook to just single handily beat the unholy hell out of the Skins tonight.

Brocky

So I’m just now seeing Dalton’s head. How would you describe his hairstyle?

fleshwound_NPG

Souless?

Redshirt

Anime?

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Gay hipster

Mother Puncher

Alt-right redhead

Redshirt

New OC, new plays, same crappy O-line.

Redshirt

So I guess Grounding only counts against the non-Green Bay team?

Brocky

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ballsofsteelandfury

– Mrs. Jauron

Mother Puncher

You’re missing a comma

DontHair

So you think Brady is talking to Trump at the end of that beats commerical or Giselle?

IronAvenger6491

I kinda hope Chargers lose by missing a field goal again.

I want them to go 0-16 by missing a GW field goal.

Redshirt
Mother Puncher

I forgot what it was like to watch the Bengals into the 4th quarter

IronAvenger6491

Man, the amount of ass-whooping Seattle is getting is pretty great.

King Hippo

And Green Bay ends up FGing anyway

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fucking Gerry?

King Hippo

close, felching

fleshwound_NPG

Yes, FOX gonna be the ones that tell us who shot pac and biggie

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

obvs; black thugs in hoodies with merssicans helpin smgdh.

Shogun Marcus

The plight of black america is definitely one of Fox’s main areas of expertise.

Mother Puncher

Another amazing Romo prediction. He predicted Rogers would smirk like an asshole after getting a call in his favor.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Wouldn’t you?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good point.

King Hippo

How in God’s name does Cincy not check that before challenging? More than ample time…

Redshirt

Per Radio, they thought he was “in the air out of bounds at the time of the snap”.

Not making that up.

King Hippo

WHAT IS OUT OF THE FIELD OF PLAY??

Christ, my head hurts

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Parking lot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You called it; the whole team was flat; except the ref that called the game winner PF that wasn’t.

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Mother Puncher

Cool. We spent a time out on that.

Redshirt

I guess you have to touch the ground out of bounds to no longer be on the field of play?

blaxabbath

Good thing I left Murray on the bench. Thanks yahoo.

King Hippo

yes, all my decisions in both leagues were wrong this week

fleshwound_NPG

Back from landscaping. Last day off until Nov and dad wants work done.

At least I can haz lulz at Seattle. These the Titans, you shitlords.

DontHair

Way to go other well known Oklahoma running back who didn’t whip his kids nuts with a switch!

Redshirt

On great. We now don’t know what a catch is, now we won’t know what “being on the field” is.

Shogun Marcus

I mean like, where ARE we all really? Here? In a dream? Whose dream is it? I mean …whoa…

Redshirt

THROW THE CHALLENGE FLAG, MARVIN!

Brocky

-Lovie Smith

Bogdanski

Damn, Rogers keeps going down like something something gay joke.

Bogdanski

Dang autocorrect left out the d. Another gay joke?

Redshirt

BLEERGH giveth, BLEERGH taketh away.

Petronel

Confirmed: Andy Dalton’s sack is huge…

Redshirt

PHRASING!

Shogun Marcus

Is it ensackelitis?

Redshirt

..and we kept the wrong kicker! You’re welcome, Philly.

King Hippo

Do you Jonnu?

Shogun Marcus

Uhh…what was that? Y’all saw that yeah?

Brocky

My dog barks at almost every other dog on the tv expect the target dog.

My dog is racist

Brocky

Either i partied too hard last night, or this game is boring as shit, because I’m falling asleep here

Mother Puncher

That’s my Bengals. I’m sober now

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Just for the record, are you a Bengals homer?

Mother Puncher

Yea. D’oh.

King Hippo

Can we have two? Or does we have to stage a Highlander-type thingy?

Redshirt

Well my name is Redshirt, so I don’t like my odds.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Is the DFO budget big enough to cover both the shitty CGI effects and the requisite shitty sequels?

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Just wondering. Sometimes it can be hard to keep everyone’s loyalties straight. I was born and raised in Green Bay proper, in the (unlikely) case that you were wondering.

JustStopDude

I suspect I got the weirdest.

I grew up in a Baltimore Colts household, but Ersay moved them when I was a baby. So for some reason I was a Browns fan growing up.

Then Baltimore stole the Browns. You would think I made the switch over, but it always seemed like kissing my cousin. When the Browns came back, I went back to following them…for reasons that make zero fucking sense.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

That…is some Targaryen-level split loyalties right there. It’s impressive that you emerged from that mess as well adjusted as you are/seem to be

JustStopDude

Whoa…let’s not go that fucking far…

...

This is one of the most interesting fandom stories I’ve heard.

JustStopDude

I regularly have to work in the Great Lakes region.

I fucking hate it every time. I mean seriously, as bad as the south gets for racism, its nothing compared to the fucking Great Lakes region. Just look at the stadium…there isn’t a brother in the entire stadium that isn’t playing on the field.

So its not like I have any connection at all with the city of Cleveland. I fucking hate working in Cleveland…but for some reason, I am always pulling for the Browns to try and have a winning season.

I cannot fucking explain it other than I must get off at being disappointed.

Mother Puncher

It’s not because they aren’t allowed in there. They just can’t afford it.

Oh wait I get your point now

Mother Puncher

I was born in Columbus, so I could have been a Bengals or browns fan. I honest to god think I made the wrong choice.

herodotus450

Well you could’ve branched out a little farther and gone with… Detroit? Oh no, that’s even worse. Chi-Tilly? Also worse. Pittsburgh I guess? But then you’d be an asshole…

Mother Puncher

Ohio born Steeler fans are the worst kind of humans. You have two teams to choose from, and you pick their rival. These are the only people with tattoos bragging about their six rings

...

I knew a guy who was from Ohio who ended up a Bears fan despite never living near Chicago (to my knowledge). Not sure how that happened.

King Hippo

The “PASSING” leaders board on RedZone for this week is just fucking bananas

Redshirt

Oh, well. At least I’ll always have that first half.

herodotus450

shit