Hey there! It’s your old pal Beerguyrob, back for another Saturday night of kvetchin’ and cavortin’. Did you all enjoy last night’s AFL Grand Final? That was a humdinger, and didn’t finish too late on the west coast, so I was up & ready for Australia vs. South Africa rugby this morning.
Shout-out to don_t: glad you’re back on the grid, buddy.
I’d like to thank my close, personal friend gallon_soda for filling in last week while I was off offending Christians at a dog show & catching a delightful cold in the process. The one thing I forgot to remind him of was to present you the broadcast maps for Sunday. Really, I blame one of the Russians that’s always trying to infiltrate the site for sidelining that message. Better that, I suppose, than having Ramon Mercader open your door. Anyways, courtesy of 506sports.com,
CBS EARLY
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | Pittsburgh @ Baltimore | Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts |
| █ | Buffalo @ Atlanta | Greg Gumbel, Trent Green |
| █ | Tennessee @ Houston | Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon |
| █ | Cincinnati @ Cleveland | Spero Dedes, Adam Archuleta |
| █ | Jacksonville @ NY Jets | Andrew Catalon, James Lofton |
| █ | NO GAME due to local team at home on FOX | |
I had to look up what a “Spero Dedes” is, because I am unfamiliar with the breed. Turns out, it’s this
and he used to do play-by-play for the Lakers & Knicks. So, no wonder I didn’t recognize him.
CBS LATE
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | Oakland @ Denver | Jim Nantz, Tony Romo |
| █ | NO GAME due to local team at home on FOX | |
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!1!!1 FUCK YOU, ARIZONA! You get that for ruining Fitty.
Also, Brent Musburger took a run at Tony Romo’s broadcasting style the other day. It came across very much as
FOX SINGLE
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | Carolina @ New England | Joe Buck, Troy Aikman |
| █ | LA Rams @ Dallas | Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston |
| █ | Detroit @ Minnesota | Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman |
| █ | NY Giants @ Tampa Bay (LATE) | Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber, Tiki Barber |
| █ | Philadelphia @ LA Chargers* (LATE) | Dick Stockton, Mark Schlereth |
| █ | San Francisco @ Arizona (LATE) | Sam Rosen, David Diehl |
*NOTE: Philadelphia-LA Chargers will air in Los Angeles on KCOP My 13.
I can’t wait to hear the crowd reaction in the Eagles second home, the StubHub Center. Stockton’s going to be ‘gifted’ enough batteries for a billion pacemakers.
Canada:
Sunday – 1pm et/10am pt
Bills vs. Falcons (CTV Toronto, CTV Kitchener)
Rams vs. Cowboys (CTV Alberta, CTV Saskatchewan, CTV BC)
Panthers vs. Patriots (CTV, Montreal, CTV Atlantic)
Steelers vs. Ravens (CTV Winnipeg, CTV Ottawa, CTV Northern Ontario)
Lions vs. Vikings (TSN2)
Sunday – 4:05pm et/1:05pm pt
Giants vs. Buccaneers (TSN2)
Sunday – 4:25pm et/1:25pm pt
Raiders vs. Broncos (CTV Network EXCEPT CTV Atlantic, CTV Two Atlantic)
Tonight’s sports:
- NCAA:
- Mississippi State at Auburn – 6:00PM | ESPN
- Memphis at Central Florida – 7:00PM | ESPN2
- Clemson at Virginia Tech – 8:00PM | ABC
- Oklahoma State at Texas Tech – 8:00PM | FOX
- Mississippi at Alabama – 9:00PM | ESPN
- Colorado at UCLA – 10:30PM | ESPN2
- California at Oregon – 10:30PM \ FS1
- San Jose State at UNLV – 10:30PM | ESPNU
- CFL:
- Argonauts vs. Tiger-Cats – 6:30PM | TSN
- Blue Bombers vs. Eskimos – 9:30PM | TSN
- MLS:
- Toronto FC vs. NY Red Bull – 7:00PM | TSN2
- Sporting KC vs. Whitecaps FC – 9:00PM | TSN2
- NHLX:
- Red Wings at Leafs – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Oilers at Canucks – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
Other TV:
- SNL: Ryan Gosling / Jay-Z – 11:30ET/8:30PT – NBC / Global
- Season premiere; live from coast-to-coast
Next Saturday, Canadians get “Hockey Night In Canada” back. IT’S THE MOST….WONDERFUL TIME…OF THE YEAR!!!
Rutgers’ trick play involves two forward passes. You are free to speculate on the score of the game.
69-69?
Twice in one night???????
Fuck it….where’s the viagra?
Twice as Nice
2-2?
You said Rutgers. So Eleventy Bajillion-(-4)
Goddamnit. So I set up the rain barrel before I left and it rained while we were gone so basically now I have a mosquito farm in my yard.
The fact you’re in metro LA makes that very ironic and funny.
Kind of funny that I got fewer bites in Singapore than I have in my own backyard.
Ya know, if I didn’t know you had already mentioned mosquitoes, I’d be laughing my ass off at this right now.
Right?
And you set this up? And then it rained? Isn’t that what its supposed to do?
On the bright side, with some time and effort, you can have a mosquito army in your yard.
I can attest that white candy corn M&Ms are a delicious thing.
I want to believe you. But…..
That sounds nasty as hell.
Litre said he would do a Baking with Litre post on these. That might be dangerous because I could see potheads eating these non-stop. It would be the Eternal High.
OH, well ya didn’t say they were gonna have weed in them.
You now have my approval.
Once I get my hands on some!
How many you need? My local CVS has them in little packets.
Depends on the size but I reckon 5 would do it.
Give me an ounce count, slack me your address, and they’re on their way.
Will do
That can’t be so. Unless it doesn’t taste like candy corn at all.
I’ve never eaten candy corn, so that may indeed be the case. It tastes like white chocolate.
https://youtu.be/kJa2kwoZ2a4
I’ll never be able to look at troy university and not think of some random guy I knew from high school singlehandedly beating division 1 teams
This guy?
… I didn’t know him in high school though
Sad KnobGobbler Fans! Drink!
/remembers he has to get daughter from dance
Dammit!
The important question remains “With whom?”
And for which cards?
Blain’s magmar has got to be worth at least an old fashioned
Chlamydia, I choose you!
Tonight’s cocktail: raspberry lime mojitos or raspberry lime margaritas?
I generally distrust drinks with rum in them. (Don’t ask, it stems form a fairly painful experience in college.) So I’d go with the raspberry lime margaritas, as long as you’re making them yourself and haven’t got a premade mix from some dark circle of hell.
It’s all fresh. We have more tequila than rum right now so I’m leaning in that direction.
Do you have a predilection towards hangovers from one or the other?
Use that as a determining factor.
I would go rum based on previous tequila aftermaths.
Yes
Yes. Have some.
Mojitaritas
Just a friendly reminder to all of you out there that if you want to see a game that isn’t being broadcast in your area, then just search for “‘sport of choice’ stream reddit” and you should find a subreddit that will take care of all your needs.
I would suggest installing Ublock Origin first, tho.
For example, “NFL streams reddit” will bring up this page.
On the other hand, “college football stream reddit” will bring up this page
Edit: typos
Dude…you know there are media people that are dependent on money from advertisers. The advertisers themselves need views to be able to funnel funds to the sleasy recruiters and family members of these kids playing for free.
I don’t think you are a bad person…I just think you are a godless communist and you should kill yourself.
God Bless America
/Stands for National Anthem…farts.
/Nudges JustStopDude, nods at back of his pants
“That wasn’t a fart. Gobbless.” smh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixZjoc_jlmQ
“Hold my beer”
HOLY SHIT WHERE ARE TEH BRAKES????????
“And then the ritual sacrifice began…”
New rule: replays kinda suck and always take too long. Oh wait. That’s not a rule.
New rule: replays outside of the last 2 minutes can only use full speed replay angles, and can take no longer than 40 seconds.
Troy is beating LSU 17-0
Apparently LSU forgot the one rule when you play against the Troy Troyans:
Everybody Guard Jordan Chunn Tonight.
http://m.quickmeme.com/img/5b/5b30c9130efd57f2c61d24d4bd04a2faec7543a88f3b02c992ef8af6b79515ce.jpg
That much jellied gasoline only needs one more thing.
I think the biggest thing I hate about Va Tech having a big game isn’t the traffic it puts on I-81 or all the rednecks that come out of the mountains to flood Roanoke bars…its that I can’t twitter troll their fans because literally every single person that went to Va Tech that can use a phone or twitter is plastered at the game.
The rest of the fan base struggles with modern technology.
Seriously, check out twitter for this game…its nothing but advertising tweets for mugs and fucking shirts.
Okay, I’m gonna wander over to my gate soon. Everyone have a great morning!
travel safe, Dok!
Off topic Yeah Right, but I finally found some Szechuan fucking peppercorns. I went to several different hippy markets that had shit I’ve never heard of, but not my pepper. Finally, at the last place, some damned dirty hippy overheard my request to the shockingly cute stock clerk and told me I can find some at the World Market store. I never go there because Amazon, but dammit if they didn’t have the shit. You weren’t kidding, that stuff smells amazing, even though I had to get cock-blocked by a 70 year old ersatz flower child in order to find any.
I’m glad that hippy lady didn’t see my leather belt, because I almost certainly would have ended up with a face full of the red paint that she no doubt keeps in her hemp-canvas handbag.
Fuck retail man, I ordered a small grinder from you-know-where. Thanks for the tip!
Glad you like it. It hasn’t completely replaced black pepper but it’s in the regular rotation. Amazing on grilled meats.
So…you’re just gonna keep drinking on the plane right?
Doink!
I do miss Sábado Gigante:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wZIl8jozLA&t=68s&has_verified=1
Cinco was the most bangin
Uno had the best booty, but yeah Cinco was gorgeous.
Stop showing Kliff on my TV. He’s so goddamn handsome it makes me feel weird and Lady Spur is not around to distract these thoughts.
Hey who else is hammered!?
I’m just getting started. i had to work this morning and do laundry. My day is all out of whack.
Not quite yet but my wife suggested cocktails so it’s a distinct possibility.
not quite yet but I have all of the necessary tools to get there.
TOUCHDOWN RED RAIDERS!
That vaunted Tech Defense strikes again!
It’s not fair that other teams have to tackle Jake Browning, since his motion is random and unpredictable.
They just need to find a young Einsteinian type player to figure him out
Lemongrass smells super nice.
VaTech is going to be curb stomped.
I don’t know what it is about VaTECH, but they are like ND, UT, USC, etc….that get ranked so incredibly high every year only to just get lawn darted. Now I can understand USC (had a shitload of National Championships) and Texas/ND because of all the money in the TV markets…but fucking Blacksburg is a shithole and the Hokies do fuck all year in and year out.
2000 was the last time I remember them being good…sure they go to bowl games more often than not, but so does 87% of college football teams…
They have a really good vet school, though I don’t see how that would be even a little bit relevant
Probably because their vet students had a lot of practice, in the Vick years.
Funny Blacksburg fact….they didn’t put a high school in the town until the 1950’s.
Seriously, the locals may as well not exist to the school and the students. And for a school that big, there is almost nothing to do there…hence why 100k show up to get drunk in parking lots during football season.
You’re not wrong.
It was not an accident I eliminated VT from my list very early on. And this was 25 yrs ago….can you imagine how bad it was then?
Were the parking lots still gravel back then?
Dok, I don’t even remember hon. I’m old. I had a list of about a half dozen schools which had Doctoral programs for Vet Med. I visited them all….
Cornell, UGA, Auburn, VA/MD regional (blacksburg), UPenn (was already familiar with NCSU due to family/legacy/alum type thing).
Even as an idiot youngster, I realized Blacksburg was not the place for me. Eventually it came down to Athens and Raleigh. Ended up choosing Raleigh due to family link, etc.
I haven’t been to Blacksburg proper for a decade or so, but it hadn’t changed much. But I do still occasionally wonder how different things would have gone in life if I’d chosen Athens.
Meh.
Imaginary Internet Friends! I bid you a good evening.
Alas, there will be no drinking for Ser LemonJello tonight as I have to retrieve TangerineJello from her first homecoming dance ere the clock strike midnight.
I am watching DABO DABO DABO v KnobGobblers.
How the fuck we doin?
D’awwwwwwww. That great.
Get hammered once you get her home tho.
Also, do your best not to murder her little testosterone laden rapey date.
No date this year, she’s going with some other girls as a group.
I tend to tell prospective dates, for both OrangeJello and TangerineJello “I have a shotgun and a shovel. I know how to use both.”
A man after my own heart.
You are awesome.
One of my memorable dad moments was having to drive eldest right to her high school so she could get the bus to march in the Rose Parade.
At 3 AM. On New Year’s eve/ day!
I got shit hammered as soon as I got home.
She was the first entrant in the parade and walked right in front of the camera!
That Baltimore-Pittsburgh game has all the makings of being utterly craptastic of epic proportions…
Can they even get that much grit in the stadium?
Oh, you said grit. I read that as shit and figured it’d be overflowing before kick off.
Probably my accent.
Lsu strug-a-ling with a team so bad they doubled up and used their school name as their mascot name.
Hah, I like that the Yahoo app updated the game times to local time. Can’t wait for Tuesday morning football!
What time is the Eagles game? I wonder how WhyEaglesWhy keeps up with his team in Australia…
Early morning.
Monday 0405. Probably similarly to how you follow AFL
AFL is surprisingly easy to follow on the west coast. I imagine it must be very difficult on the East Coast. When I was in Europe, the games were perfectly spaced between morning and afternoon.
Yes. East coast is not ideal. Matches I’ve watches live throughout are rare.
In Singapore the Sunday night game started at 8:30 a.m.
It always confuses me how it can be tomorrow in Asia. If you go west, from Eastern time (3:00PM) to Pacific time (12 Noon) to Hawaiian time (9:00AM) it keeps getting earlier and earlier. If you keep going to Asia it logically should be yesterday. I am high.
The beauty of the international date line
Fuck off, Superman!
– Jerry Richardson, upon seeing Cam Newton kneel during the anthem.
I thought that was a myth.
Nah, if you look out the window at the right point in the flight you can see it! Thousands and thousands of dates…
ending up in no action. The International Blue Ball Line, if you will.
Earth is the blue planet. No wonder aliens shun us, we live on a giant, frustrated testicle, drifting through space
It’s not a myth! One time I went on a date with a girl from Switzerland.
Night games in Lubbock are the best.
Yeah, a morning Cowboys game.
They’re rare, aren’t they?
In hilarious news the Brewers were fighting for their playoff lives and took a 6-0 over the Cardinals…
Only to lose 7-6.
Bye bye Milwaukee. You know your team would be a whole lot more likeable if you dumped that human colostomy bag Ryan Braun.
See you next year guys!
I’m in the future, drinking free wine at 8 am Sunday morning!
Zymm I would like to know how you did this. I like wine and morning drinking!
I flew to Taipei and am chilling in an airport lounge on a 6 hr layover. There is also fried rice, bao and ice cream !
And apparently free WiFi!
That reminds me. I’ve got a nice bottle of Decoy pinot noir that I’m gonna go ahead and open.
So fucking good.
YES! Years ago I got drunk in San Francisco on a Monday night and came to in China on a Wednesday morning. Taipei it was, yes indeedy.
I’ve actually been to that airport on a layover too. Its surprisingly well appointed.
K, upper food court in the international wing has some unbelievable dumplings. I rated them as high as the ones in town.
I really hope you’re doing this while flipping double birds at an active volcano.
Soon, quite soon. This is just the warmup
So much wisdom to extract from you, future-being. What’s life like in a Monty Hall- and Joe Tiller-less world? Probably hard to steer ones sailboat and running in to lots of doors as a result.
For some reason, Fox says it is broadcasting a Detroit-Miami game from a London??? At 6:30 AM my time. Is that a real thing?
7:30 my time Balls, so yeah.
tomorrow is Saints v Dolphins from London. Detroit is heading to an ass ramming party in Minneapolis.
Told you I was confused!
One thing about Philly fans in Los Angeles: they are more rabid than the ones in Philadelphia. I’ve seen them in “Eagles bars” (bars that always show a particular out-of-town team are a very real thing here). Jesus when they do that stupid E-A-G-L-E-S chant you wanna kill em all. Anyway, that stadium is gonna be solid green and homicidal. Let the batteries fly!
Yes, it will be quite spectacular.
BeIn sports has some hot Charlotte @ Florida International action right now.
Isn’t rutgers in like, New York City? The biggest* city in the country? And they can’t spare another 10k to go to the game and look decent? You’d think they’d get that many just looking for a clean place to piss, throw up, and pass out.
It’s in Jersey.
Self explanatory.
After I split Jersey into New York and Pennsylvania and give Puerto Rico statehood, Rutgers will indeed be in New York State.
But I like Jersey. Let’s go ahead and reconsolidate Virginia and West Virginia and then give the PR statehood.
People from the Virginias don’t travel and embarrass us.
To be fair, they don’t travel period, but still.
So things have been going pretty good lately, so I didn’t opt for the “Basic” car wash today, nor the “Deluxe” car wash. Today was “Executive” car wash with the tire polish, bitches!
Because that’s how the Brickster rolls, people! Praise Jesus!
I love how a small patch on the NC/SC border gets Pitt/Bal, while just north of that (me that is) is still saddled with Buf/Atl, in spite of being closer to both Pit and Bal than that patch of red on the frigging border.
I hate the NFL.
That is funny that you’d get a meaningless interconference game over a divisional rivalry.
Honestly, I’d get their reasoning if not for that little patch on the NC/SC border getting Pit/Bal.
There’s no logic there.
That’s the Charlotte metro, btw. An area one would think would prefer and/or have more interest in….their divisional rival Atlanta.
Shit, I got a big box full of used AA batteries from work – I go through those things like candy. If I lived closer to Carson it would have been fun to leave the box sitting on the curb near the stadium with an invitation to Eagles fans to help themselves.
Vibrators run on rechargeables too, ya know????
Can’t expense rechargables and then use them in your remotes and flashlights and all other manner of household devices.
Well not with THAT attitude!!!!!!
Wow that’s pure genius. GAME OF THE WEEK FOLKS
In particular because all of the regular consequences for doing shit like that (i.e. losing your season tickets) are irrelevant for a temporary stadium.
Because nobody has a season ticket! And nobody ever goes back anyway!
Or at all!
I’ll drive you
Totally gapped on the coverage maps last week it is because I am a sucker and bought DAZN who’s coverage has come under major fire up here. They have already given 2 months free but they did stream the Mighty Fulham victory yesterday!!!
read that as gaped.
Perhaps I’ve seen too much porn.