“You’re Not So Brave The Way You Behave” Saturday Evening Open Thread & Broadcast Maps

Just so you know, I set this thread up before heading down to Seattle for the [Redacteds] v. Seahawks game Sunday. My brother has promised copious beverages, and thanks to the handsome bastard BOLTMAN refers to as Low Commander I have coupons for assorted Seattle breweries to choose from as well. So while you’re Open Threading Sunday & not eating pizza, I’ll be brewery-hopping & not eating pizza.

Together, we can bring down the pizza oligarchs that secretly run this continent. Oil barons are just a front.


Well, let’s see who’ll be costing Papa John’s revenue today: (courtesy 506sports.com)

CBS EARLY


 Anchorage AK  |   Fairbanks AK
 Honolulu HI

Denver @ Philadelphia Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts
Baltimore @ Tennessee Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon
Indianapolis @ Houston Greg Gumbel, Trent Green
Cincinnati @ Jacksonville Andrew Catalon, James Lofton
NO GAME due to local team at home on FOX

With word Thursday that DeShaun Watson may have Bridgewater’d himself, the Colts-Texans game sure looks like a lock for “Dog of the Week” on CBS. Ain’t nobody ordering pizza for that.

Unless they sign Kaep. OMG – Matt McGloin is now a Texan.  That’s worth a laugh, not a slice.


CBS LATE


 Anchorage AK  |   Fairbanks AK
 Honolulu HI

Kansas City @ Dallas Jim Nantz, Tony Romo
NO GAME due to local team at home on FOX

This…this should actually be a pizza-worthy game. I believe it’s also Romo’s first visit home in the booth, so expect the over/under on JERRAH stories to be 7.5. Plenty of Jim Nantz guffawing is sure to accompany.

 


FOX SINGLE


 Anchorage AK  |   Fairbanks AK
 Honolulu HI

Atlanta @ Carolina Joe Buck, Troy Aikman
LA Rams @ NY Giants Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber
Tampa Bay @ New Orleans Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman
Washington @ Seattle (LATE) Kevin Burkhardt, Charles Davis
Arizona @ San Francisco (LATE) Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston

Actually, not too many dogs on this schedule. Only the Cards-Niners game, but that’ll just leave us hard for next week, when the Bay Area is hit by an outbreak of Garappolio.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Leafs at Blues – 7:00PM | CBC
    • Habs at Jets – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Penguins at Canucks – 10:00PM | CBC
  •  CFL:
    • Eskimos at Roughriders – 7:00PM | TSN
    • Argos at Lions – 10:00PM | TSN
  • NCAA: (of note)
    • Nevada at Boise State – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Texas at TCU – 7:15PM | ESPN
    • Minnesota at Michigan – 7:30PM | FOX
    • LSU at Alabama – 8:00PM | CBS
    • Virginia Tech at Miami – 8:00PM | ABC
    • Oregon at Washington – 10:00PM | FS1
    • Arizona at Southern California – 10:45PM | ESPN
    • BYU at Fresno State – 10:45PM | ESPN2
  • UFC 217 Prelims:
    • Bisping vs. St-Pierre: From MSG – 8:00PM | FS1 / TSN5

Wherever you are, you kings & queens, teens & tweens, please enjoy your Saturday night. THAT’S AN ORDER!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Fronkenshteen

I am starting DeMarcus Robinson vs Dallas today over E. Sanders, D. Booker, TyMont, and TJ Yeldon (ok, that one was easy). I hate bye weeks.

litre_cola

I really do like the London games as I am up anyway with the baby so it keeps me entertained.

herodotus450

Somehow even the good time change has irritiated me. I coulda slept in more, and now I gotta go change all my sundials.

litre_cola

Sun? What’s that?

herodotus450

Well when a sperm meets a zygote and donates its Y-Chromosome…

Shogun Marcus

It’s fall, so just move one house to the right. That’s how you fix sundials.

litre_cola

Whoa, has daylight savings time made it Saturday morning again?

Doktor Zymm

Unsurprisingly, Ivan the Terrible, was Terrible

Doktor Zymm

Y’all are awesome. Imma go sleep maybe. But huge hugs, mentally and such. I’m not making a squee noise right now, cause I’m alone, but I’m drunk enough that women roughly my age could convince me to make such a noise, so feel free to imagine it if you wish. As well as anything else women roughly my age might convince me to do.
Cheers, and Good Night.

herodotus450

Anything, eh?
*Imagines Dok handing out caramel hard candies, breaking a hip doing the Charleston*
You are 87, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

BUZZARD!
Yes, I am listening to Porgy and Bess while unpacking.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

FUN FACT : Porgy and Bess was originally supposed to be called Porgy. Belatedly, they realized that the woman they wrote a lot of great music for and drove the plot was actually a strong character and should be added to the title.

Doktor Zymm

Kudos to rhyming liable with bible

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Pedantic; the killer of jokes, but not as bad as OJ.

Doktor Zymm

Not always. Sometimes it’s just the straight man setting it up

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I meant the after joke response, perhaps I should have explained in great detail.

Doktor Zymm

Fair enough. Though I should also explain that I’m drunk and fairly indifferent to many things. My normal urge to poke a bruise is also amplified, if that’s useful info.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You missed the pedant joke in there? Well, it wasn’t very good anyway.

Doktor Zymm

I refer you to exhibit a) Drunk and exhibit b) kinda apathetic no matter what

Doktor Zymm

Also exhibit c) gotten to the point where even if I get it I’m going to be purposely obtuse, and isn’t it neat that obtuse refers to both people and angles?

JerBear50

Awww, you’re awfully acute when you’re drunk.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Right……

JerBear50

Oh, that was fucking perfect moose.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Isosceles coming from a mile away.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Archimedes a drink for me please.

JerBear50

Goddammit, you just couldn’t let it lie.
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Doktor Zymm

Uno Mas Por Favor. I said please, I should serve myself.
Gracias!