Your “Football Every Night From Today Until New Year’s” Tuesday Evening Open Thread


This is tWBS coming to you live from Canadia.  Sort of.

But no, not really.

Apparently, Canadia decided to go all Puerto Rico this evening, and lose power at just the wrong time.  BeerSteinRicardo  didn’t quite get tonight’s open thread finished to his own satisfaction before this happened.  So I’m providing the (very small) assist tonight.  Seriously, very small.

As an aside, can you believe he trusted me to finish this?  Yeah, me neither.  It’s as if he’s never met me.

Anything you like in tonight’s post is his.  Anything which pisses you off….it’s a good bet that it’s mine.

But back to the important stuff….

We’re investigating currently who is actually responsible for this travesty.  So if you’ve seen these two….

….Please call your local authorities.  They are wanted for questioning regarding the wanton chewing of buried electrical cables.

But keep your distance as they are considered armed and adorable.

(yes I’m still planning a dognapping if I can ever get Mexico to give me my passport back)

– tWBS

NFL News:

  • Thomas Davis has been suspended for two games for his hit on Davante Adams.
    • It’s Adams’ third concussion in two years.
    • Davis is appealing the suspension and h— here’s the apology.

  • Mark Cuban says he wants no part of buying the Panthers when they come on sale this offseason.
    • “Why would I buy an NFL team if I think the league is in decline?” Cuban told Brad Townsend of the Dallas Morning-News.
    • Irrespective of that stance, Forbes has him on their shortlist of 12 potential owners.
      • They will need money – in September, Forbes listed the team’s value at $2.3 billion.

  • The League has decided to validate Gene Steratore’s theomania by declaring his use of the index card to be both “very unusual” but within League rules.
    • It ties in nicely with his logomania, because we know he’s not scoptophobic.

Better Know A Broadcaster – Bowl Game Edition

With Bowl games on the docket pretty much every night there isn’t NFL action between now & New Year’s, I thought I’d make #content quota by trying to figure out which C-list announcing teams are trying to climb the broadcasting ladder. Normally, I’d complain about not seeing this matchup because of Canadian content requirements & the fact it’s not a major bowl, but TSN is so starved for #content themselves that they are showing this game on the main network

The broadcast tandems are courtesy

Cheribundi Tart Cherry Boca Raton Bowl – Akron v Florida Atlantic – Clay Matvick, Kirk Morrison


Clay Matvick:

  • Personal stuff:
    • From St. Cloud, Minnesota
    • Started broadcasting in high school, on the local country station.
    • Has a degree in Mass Communications from St. Cloud State University (1996)
  • Broadcasting history:
    • Worked local sports at stations in Minnesota, South Dakota & Nebraska between 1996-99
    • Hired by CNNSI; worked in Atlanta from 1999-2001
    • Worked for FSN-North (Minnesota) from 2001-05
    • Joined ESPN in 2006
  • Signature play-by-play events:
    • Minnesota Boys High School Hockey Tournament (2004-present)
      • has won three Upper Midwest regional Emmy awards (2006-08)
    • Little League World Series’ Southeast Region semifinals and finals (2010-11)
  • Previous Bowl Games called:
    • 2012 TicketCity Bowl
    • 2013 Heart of Dallas Bowl
    • 2013 Famous Idaho Potato Bowl
    • 2014 AutoZone Liberty Bowl
    • 2015 Belk Bowl

Recent Tweets which show level of commitment to Bowl Game accuracy:

Kirk Morrison:

  • Personal stuff:
    • Born & raised in Oakland
    • Attended San Diego State
      • was a two-time Mountain West Defensive Player of the Year
  • Football career?
    • Yes – 8 years / 102 games
      • 2005-09 – Raiders
      • 2010 – Jaguars
      • 2011-12 – Bills
  • Broadcasting history:
    • Fox Sports Radio: Fox Overtime (with Rob Dibble) – 2011
    • Colour analysis – San Diego State football broadcasts (radio) – 2013-16
    • ESPN LA – LA Rams radio broadcast – 2016-present

Recent Tweets which show level of commitment to Bowl Game accuracy:


Solid game calling by Matvick. Some mild chucklefuckery by Morrison, with allusions to “I could do better than that” when analyzing defensive miscues.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Bruins at Sabres – 7:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
    • Lightning at Vegas – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
  •  NCAA:
    • Football:
      • Boca Raton Bowl: Akron at Florida Atlantic – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Men’s Basketball:
      • Marshall at Xavier – 6:30PM | FS1
      • South Carolina at Clemson – 7:00PM | ESPN2
      • Morehead State at Butler – 8:30PM | FS1
      • Georgia Tech at Georgia – 9:00PM | ESPN2
  • WWE:
    • SmackDown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • first show after Clash of Champions

If I may be allowed a small rant, FUCKING NHL BROADCAST RIGHTS! (Aside: DFO has 105 tags labelled “fuck”.) Tonight, the Canadiens are playing the Canucks at 10:00PM eastern. Granted, neither team is on fire, but it’s still a matchup of national interest up here. But due to the provincialization of broadcast rights, TSN owns the Habs rights for Quebec & the Maritimes, and Sportsnet has the national rights. So, because it can’t be a national broadcast on one network, the game cannot be shown across the country. But two American teams can be shown because it doesn’t conflict with regional ownership rights. FUCKING GENIUS!


A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

That Habs game was a burner, too. (I listened to it on the internet because I’m poor.) Living in the Seattle market, I get CBC out of Vancouver, where every Saturday night brings another fkn Leafs game. I did not get the memo that the Leafs were Canada’s team, at the expense of all others. Fuck the Leafs with Gary Bettman’s severed dingle.


Well, the six pack of 7.5% beer has been consumed. Time for bed.


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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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