LA Football Report – RAMMIT Postseason Edition

Here we are, back again, to take a look at football in LA this year. The regular season is over for all teams, so we have a good basis for comparison. Here is our final chart:

As you can see, the college teams collectively outdrew the NFL teams on average attendance.  The teams playing in the Coliseum were #1 and #2 while the Rose Bowl tenants came in 3rd and the Cal State Dominguez Hills Toros/Shitty Clippers pulled up the rear.

3 out of the 4 teams made it to the postseason with both the Bruins and the Trojans embarrassing themselves on national television. RAMMIT is next.  But more on that later.  First, I want to dissect the stats a little more.

The USC Trojans (#1 in average and total attendance) were 7-0 at home.  The UCLA Bruins were 6-0 at home.  The Toros were 5-3 at “home” despite playing as a road team most of the year while RAMMIT were a disappointing 3-4 playing in Los Angeles.  Yes, they had a “home” game in London that they won, but that doesn’t count.  The colleges easily beat the pros for win percentage at home and also beat the pros on overall win percentage.

Even though they played 8 more games, the NFL teams could not catch the college teams in total attendance.  Yes, that has to do with the Shitty Clippers playing in a 30K 27K 25K capacity tarped stadium, but even if the Shitty Clippers played at the Coliseum and equaled the Rams’ attendance, the NFL would STILL lag behind the colleges on average attendance.

The Chargers were able to pull off the largest “sold” crowd of the year thanks to the millions of Raiders fans in the greater Los Angeles area.  It looks like, at the end of the year, the team embraced the “visitors at home” dynamic and that propelled them to better performances.  They closed out the year on a 5 game “home” winning streak, which is nice for them but won’t get them any new fans or prevent the stadium from being filled by fans of the opposing teams.

The Bruins got progressively shittier as the year went on and the attendance figures reflected this.  HOWEVAH, with Chip Kelly at the helm next year, it will take a major collapse for the team to drop in attendance like this year.  And I don’t think one is coming.  If anything, the Bruins will challenge RAMMIT for the #2 spot in LA.

The Trojans are adding luxury suites and other amenities to the Coli this offseason to make their superior game experience even better.  I’m pretty sure they will probably improve on this year’s attendance.  Specially if the Bruins start off the year hot.  Trojan fans hate being behind the Bruins on anything.

Ok, now make out

Also this

And then we get to RAMMIT.  The last two games of the year were the two highest-sold games of the year.  This is easily explainable due to their winning ways.  HOWEVAH, two things are important to note: 1) The crowd for the first of the last two games was noticeably fuller than for previous games which means that the previous actual attendance was way lower than reported and 2) the crowd in the last game looked thinner than the previous crowd.

What can be deduced from this?  People bought more tickets but ultimately decided not to go to the last game when RAMMIT announced they were not going to play starters.

Another important thing to note:  RAMMIT LOST both games!  In fact, their record at home is quite poor for a playoff team.  A weird thing indeed.

Which brings us back to the playoff game that RAMMIT is about to host versus the Atlanta Falcons.  King Hippo has been riding the RAMMIT bandwagon all year like it was Chasey Lain.  I, on the other hand, have been riding the contrarian train like it was Christy Canyon.  Something had to give.

So, earlier this week we solidified a wager.  Now, we are both gentlemen, so the wager will involve money, but it will not be transferred directly to the winner.  Instead, this “gentleman’s wager” will involve both parties donating $100 to the winner’s favorite charity and doing something that makes them uncomfortable.

For the North Carolina recluse, that means actually leaving the house and stepping foot into the outside world to deliver the donation in person.  TWBS will be there to make sure it is done as stipulated.  In fact, the donation will be in TWBS’ name and he shall be the judge of who gets to be the lucky recipient(s).

If I win the wager (taking Atlanta plus 6 and a half points), $100 will be given to the Single Mothers of the Capital Cabaret!


tWBS:  Whoa, whoa, whoa!!!

Balls:  Shit.  Really?!?!?  You’re going to invade my posts now?

tWBS:  Hey, turnabout is fair play and all that shit.

Balls:  *sigh*  Fair enough.  But what possible problem could you have with this?

tWBS:  Well don’t get me wrong, it’s great in theory.  No argument.  But if I have to be responsible n junk, something I try to avoid whenever possible these days, btw….and handle money and make sure it gets to where it supposed to go…..?

Balls:  What?  Just say it?

tWBS:  Well, I think you and Hippo should both buck in an extra chunk and buy me into the VIP room.  Or at least a lap dance or two.  That’s all.

Balls:  That, my friend,  is what the $100 is for! Are lap dances more expensive in Da South? The Rhino down the street from my work has a 3 nude lap dances for $100 special.  In the VIP room.  All that YOU have to do is pick the girl or girls.   And enjoy the dances. Hippo waits patiently outside and pays the girl(s) when you are “done”. Seems simple enough. Was I not clear?

tWBS:  What do you mean “done”?


tWBS: Can you at least get me a date with a UCLA Cheerleader when I’m on the left coast come spring?

Balls:  Sure.  You like sloppy seconds?

tWBS:  Fine.  I’ll do it myself.  You suck.

Balls:  Anywhooooooo….as I was trying to say before the horny redneck showed up….

Should RAMMIT somehow cover, I will give $100 to the charity of King Hippo’s choice AND wear a RAMMIT t-shirt to the gym for the entire Winter.  That’s a solid 60+ opportunities for embarrassment.

So, there you have it.  Another great year in LA football!

Be sure to stay tuned for a special BoTG by TWBS from the CC.  See you next year!

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Did the cheerleaders ever make out?

Also, Chip Kelly is gonna make UCLA really good again (not great) because he’s less raycess than Cowherd.


It’s probably too late to ask for my compensation to be a date with both Chasey Lain and Christy Canyon, huh?

/imagines what they must be like these days
//fights back the nausea

Perhaps Kimmy Granger and Veronica Rodriguez maybe? I mean, whoever they are.

yeah right

Balls, is that the LA or Industry location? I’ve been to the Torrance location and it’s quite the shin dig


I’m with Hippo RAMMIT is the IT team of the NFC. Todd Gurley Man is carrying them all the way to Minnysota.

yeah right

Without getting too spoilery our group of “Insiders” have differing opinions.


“Did someone say IT team?”
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There is no “I” in team.

And at the risk of giving Yeah Right a massive throbbing erection…

The Minnesota Vikings will be your Superb Owl LII Champs. Mark it down.


There is, howevah, a “ME” in team…for the gloree bois out there.