World Gawne Mad – Finale Edition

Yes, we have reached the end.  No lovable underdog, everyone is cheering for the flat track bully.  But a worthy champion they would be, so hopefully they will finish the job in fine fashion this evening.  With no further ado…

#3(W) Michigan (+7, +270) v. #1(E) Villanova (9:20, TBS)

Make no bones about it, this line tells the story of a Nova side that has the momentum of a runaway freight train (h/t Friends of Monty Burns FOAR Governor), as Michigan has been pretty ruthless against non-Houston opponents.  Both sides are fairly perimeter oriented, and play very good defense.  One could call them evenly matched, except that the Wildcats have more ways to score, and more options on the floor.  Beilein’s Wolverines, like all Beilein sides, chuck up way too many threes, and rely to an unhealthy extent on the hideous Mo Wagner.  That said – this is no fait accompli – there’s a very realistic shot that UM will cut down the nets at the end of our evening.  Let’s just hope not.  Jesuit power, one last time!

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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“You look a lot different from your profile picture.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Yeah, her nose seems bigger.”

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Oh my God. It’s 9:15 already.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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NOOO; it’s just an expression!

Senor Weaselo

Shit, the under wins.

Mr. Ayo

NEVER BET AGAINST THE HOUSE! I’M RICH!

Senor Weaselo

Chi****!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

https://www.instagram.com/p/BhAuaKzAf_g/?utm_source=ig_embed

Not sure why I am still laughing….. not that funny.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s a Mets game; they probably both got injured on the play.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Broken fingers? or fell on a stalagmite?

Mr. Ayo

Pulled groin

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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A lot different than poverty ham.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Shit the under”

A comma makes a difference, people.

SonOfSpam

Now onto a very important playoff-making game between Ice Rams and Ice Broncos.

Ice Rams currently up 2-1 about halfway thru the game.

Also, I am kinda buzzed and Trump is a dangerous lunatic, so some things are eternal.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

Gotta say, with all the “anything can happen” going on this tourney, Villanova was fucking dominant and was absolutely not gonna be denied. I didn’t (totally) mind the whitey-fellating done by the announcers since dude was the truth tonight. Great team and a great season-long performance.

Plus I came (heh) in 2nd in my own pool and will profit a little over $100. BEER FOR EVERYONE HERE! (As usual, I am alone)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Daggers for all, minature American flags for others.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Speaking of daggers, I just ordered this book for my father’s birthday.
http://www.cornellpress.cornell.edu/Resources/titles/80140103523080/Images/80140103523080L.jpg

And yes, I am going to try to read it before wrapping it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Every time Mark Emmert speaks, I hear Elmo’s voice.

Horatio Cornblower

Emmert is the fucking worst. Talk about a guy who defines “failing up”, (besides me); he was a goddamn joke at UCONN, (https://www.sbnation.com/college-football/2013/4/3/4176742/mark-emmert-ncaa-president-usa-today), and apparently didn’t do much better at LSU. Every time I see him talk I’m surprised his forked tongue doesn’t dart out and nail a passing fly.

Seriously, fuck Mark Emmert.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

https://www.blackshoediaries.com/2013/4/3/4176882/usa-today-mark-emmert-shifts-blame-uconn-lsu-penn-state-miami-ncaa

This one’s more detailed. UCONN found their new chancellor at Montana State. I mean, what the fuck?

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t think this new Tracy Morgan show has any legs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Agreed.”

-Max Cleland

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dude.

Mr. Ayo

Live bet:
Sister Jean appearances in One Shining Moment: 1.5
Over: -110
Under: +110

What you got?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Over.

Mr. Ayo

Sorry, not a winner

theeWeeBabySeamus

Over

Mr. Ayo

Sorry, not a winner

Mr. Ayo

Under

Mr. Ayo

Winner. Duh.

Horatio Cornblower

Over

Mr. Ayo

Sorry, not a winner

rockingdog

over

Mr. Ayo

Sorry, not a winner

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

69.

Mr. Ayo

Nice!

Mr. Ayo

Sorry, not a winner.

And you were WAY off.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Reverse cowgirl.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My wife is currently baking cookies, and I am drinking a blood orange old-fashioned. Life is damned good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Agreed.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

What kind of cookies?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Shortbread chocolate chip.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sploooooosh.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice.

Brick Meathook

I think the losing team should have to stay on the court, standing in formation with their heads bowed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hi everybody!

Hi Dr. Rick…i

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry. I forgot to tie down my “load”.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You can lock up your lube with these.

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SonOfSpam

The one time you actually shoulda helped someone move.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Bravo.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Everybody masturbates.

Senor Weaselo

“Do it the right way,” DRINK!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I’d murder you all for some freshly-made donuts like that.

Horatio Cornblower

I’d do it for $6 and a pack of cigarettes, and I don’t smo…

and I’ve said too much.

Senor Weaselo

All right, get to the “One Shining Moment,” let’s get this over with.

WCS

WIP is going to eat itself this week.

“NOVA AIN’T ONNA US!!!111!1”
“NOVA GIVING US ANUDDER CHAMPEENINSHIP!!!!!!!1111!11!’

Unsurprised

ShitWIP

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Last time I saw a German dude look that dejected, there was cyanide and bullets involved.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I KNEW you were in that bunker!

Unsurprised

I had dinner with a couple of neighbors in their nineties on Friday and I just remembered because I’m watching Babylon Berlin (good Netflix series, BTW) that we talked about how they were old enough to remember when people died from getting syphilis. It seems amazing sometimes how 50 years from now some kid is going to look at, say, chemotherapy the way we look at bloodletting or the crazy, bad “treatment” they had for the fucking clap before the war.

rockingdog

found a funny:

You can lead a horse to water, but you probably can’t do it as well as Sneaky Gary, the serial horse drowner.

Croooow

Congrats to Villanova. Fun tournament overall.

Mr. Ayo

Running clock? Please?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is that your Indian name?

Mr. Ayo

No, that’s Runny Drawers

Unsurprised

That’s Andy Reid’s name.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d say more of a mildly irritating chicken.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey guys, maybe we should kill some clock and just…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just gave my dog a huge bone.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Maybe should put that differently.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No peanut butter was involved….unlike SOME people.

Mr. Ayo

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Horatio Cornblower

I had to nearly strangle mine on his walk tonight to get him to let go of some dead animal bone he hauled out of the woods.

Me: WE FEED YOU!!! YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE THAT’S BEEN AND IT’S GOING TO LACERATE YOUR THROAT!!!!

Dog: Fuck it, I’m gonna chew it to splinters and swallow it anyway

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Mine is pretty good about that now, but it has taken a few years to get train to not eat and/or roll in old dead carcasses. The ones I get at the store seem like wildebeest or something, or a LARGE cow. Bone splinter makes me thing huuummmm, how about a $6,000 surgery.

Horatio Cornblower

Mine is just over 2 years old and has gotten better but if there’s anything left on the bone he will hold on like grim death. I’m not even sure what this bone was; might have been some kind of fish.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What kind of dog? Two is still in puppy mode.

A friend husky found an elk bone when we were snowshoeing on about eight feet of snow. That was a challenge to get it from him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

That first tequila went down way too easily.

Let’s see if the second puts up more of a fight…

/Horatio is never heard from again

Horatio Cornblower

Michigan announcers calling for a carry every time the Eyetalian kid has the ball. I think you have to actually be moving for it to be a carry, and every replay they show has him with his pivot foot still firmly planted.

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t imagine why.

Mr. Ayo

I think the odds of that are far greater than +17000

Horatio Cornblower

“Margin of error here for Michigan is slim”

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/80410758-239d-48fd-97f4-65457c2818fa

theeWeeBabySeamus

Foot on throat fo’ sho’.

Mr. Ayo

They put an ass whooping on this tourney

WCS

WVU gave them their toughest game. There’s some solace in that, I suppose.

/drinks more
//pees in houseplant
///continues to ignore screaming infant

Horatio Cornblower

Jay Feely on that last dunk: HERE’S WAGNER!!!

Me: You know it, fucker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jDcWAWRRHo

Horatio Cornblower

Jay Feely is announcing for the Michigan team. TNT if you hate your ears but love schadenfreude.

WCS

COLD BLOODED

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK ‘Nova, don’t go all stupid. You could still lose mah moneh for me.

litre_cola

Hippo there is Jamaican lesser footy to bet on…

theeWeeBabySeamus

😛

Horatio Cornblower

Watching this with the Michigan home team announcers is pretty funny.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m considering hedging $50 on Michigan live ML at +1300

theeWeeBabySeamus

+1700 now.
But nah, never mind.

theeWeeBabySeamus

There are some interesting prop bets going down the stretch. But I think I’m done too.

Mr. Ayo

Nice try Michigan.
2nd place ain’t bad.

-tWBS literally 10 minutes ago

theeWeeBabySeamus

After the ‘Nova 16-5 run, they looked tired and beaten.
Wasn’t a difficult call at that point.

Horatio Cornblower

An initial burst of success, followed by a crushing defeat and then the University of Michigan being split into two campuses for 50-60 years?

Sign me up!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Michigan’s Nazi is coming a little undone.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

GREAT, now someone will trip over the shoelaces.