Request Line: Too Many Cooks

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY.

A young man settles into the chair behind the microphone.  He looks through the glass at the PRODUCER, who punches a button marked TALKBACK, frowns, then releases the button and pulls open the studio door and pokes his head inside. 

PRODUCER: You’re going to have to remove your helmet.

BRANDIN COOKS: Uh-uh.

PRODUCER: It’s going to be a lot tougher for us to communicate if you don’t put the headphones on.

COOKS: ‘At’s ine.  I ‘eel ‘afer ‘is ‘ay.

The PRODUCER sighs in exasperation, and moves entirely into the booth, taking a standing position next to BRANDIN COOKS.  He counts off audibly and then leans forward and punches a button on the console.

PRODUCER: Good afternoon, and welcome to Request Line.  I’m here with newly minted local Brandin Cooks.  Welcome, Brandin.

COOKS: ‘Anks for ‘aving me.

PRODUCER: Now the last time we saw you was during the Super Bowl.  Any memories from the day that you’d like to share with our viewers?

COOKS: Oo ee ‘onest, I ‘ont ’emember all ‘at ‘uch a’out uh ‘ame.

PRODUCER: Oh…right.

PRODUCER: So it’s been quite a tour through the NFL for you so far – you’ve had the privilege of playing with Drew Brees on the Saints, Tom Brady when you were with the Patriots, and now with rising star Jared Goff here in Los Angeles.

COOKS: ‘At’s ‘rue.

PRODUCER: So I understand you’ve picked out a theme for today’s Request Line in tribute to that?

COOKS: ‘At’s ‘right.  ‘Oday’s ‘opic is ‘ooking.

PRODUCER: ‘Looking’? As in, sightseeing, tourism…

COOKS: ‘O.  ‘Ooking.

PRODUCER: ‘Booking’? Like, literature…

COOKS: [growing frustrated] ‘O.  ‘Ooking.

PRODUCER: ‘Rooking’? You mean like the game of chess? I’m not sure there’s many songs about…

COOKS: ‘Ooking! Ooking ooking ooking!

PRODUCER: [puts hands out and shrugs]

COOKS: [mimes the “feed me” motion]

PRODUCER: Oh, COOKing.  Like restaurants, cuisine, eating, that sort of stuff.  No problem, got it.  Why don’t I get us started with a good old classic tune from Arlo Guthrie.

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Weird songs about cannibalism work, right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dX9hJZ3LTWw

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I really want this to be a song in a zombie comedy movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD5wZK1NZ9o

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

Let’s see if I can get a few in under the radar before tomorrow:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQiPkcOJZ-A

yeah right

Well this needs to be there.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsSuueEGQSM

yeah right

I should have double shotted this earlier on tWBS pick but better late than never.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJxy6Xaa544

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oooooh…nice.

yeah right

Late round value picks coming.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuT5KUA7iaY

Senor Weaselo

Going to hell for this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I96RZh8108o

yeah right

That’s fantastic.

Spanky Datass

Marcy Playground — Sex And Candy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KT-r2vHeMM

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I almost posted this but thought Cake by the Ocean was enough #dayenu

yeah right
King Hippo

sage advice FOAR teh kitchen!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n47C09VU7rE

theeWeeBabySeamus

Another double I’m too lazy to scroll back and do.
Meh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-krsAtiRAVM

theeWeeBabySeamus

Always makes me giggle….

I hopped up and I said
“I don’t know, do you want to get something delivered?”
She’s like “Why would I want to eat liver?
I don’t even like liver!”

I’m like “No, I said ‘delivered'”
She’s like “I heard you say liver!”
I’m like “I should know what I said…”
She’s like “Whatever, I just don’t want any liver!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHnTocdD7sk

Brick Meathook

The blow is the cooking part:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Gd87JmkAkE

LemonJello

Chefs’ Head Coach life motto?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfHax1kGMO0

LemonJello
LemonJello
yeah right

Triple shot!
Don’t abuse the sausage patty.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZSDeudyUiw

Cuntler

S.O.D. – Milk

I miss my middle school thrasher days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPSZ–LnIlc

LemonJello
LemonJello

Snack-time, dessert-time, anytime!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9fi2gDVXrA

nomonkeyfun
yeah right

It’s appreciated!

SonOfSpam

Louis Prima with a lesson on how to treat a lady on a date

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJcRoYuV2Q0

LemonJello

Sometimes, you have to drink your meal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGL2rytTraA

nomonkeyfun

Now for the shortest song of the day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCSkfp8l1FA

theeWeeBabySeamus

Watch now as I make RTD love me again.
(he loves the self-contained double)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLheWEadUXM

LemonJello
SonOfSpam

I wonder if Tom Waits has a weird meandering story-song that fits this category

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDo1617aXX4

SonOfSpam

The origin of my nom d’net:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE

LemonJello
SonOfSpam
theeWeeBabySeamus

Goddammit. You always manage to make me feel inferior.
Can’t believe I forgot that one.

SonOfSpam

You’re inferior to no one.

Except Richard Marx.

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry, I gotta. Dr. Demento would never forgive me if I didn’t.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKDtUzRIG6I

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m too lazy to go back and double shot this one I forgot about before, so I’ll leave it here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBOMZBxQAjc

SonOfSpam

Ok…but this video (Fred’s mustache!) rules:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VCCiY17hKw

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, I think it fits. You got the cooks in the kitchen, but you need The Waitresses to serve. Right?
RIGHT??????
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsneH0mOq-0

LemonJello
ArmedandHammered
LemonJello
Senor Weaselo

It would be rude not to eat (a slice of) her pie…