Your “In The Most Delightful Way” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Hi all. After a welcome three-day holiday weekend away from the #content mines, I’m ready to return you to the cromulence of my banality. I golfed & drank on Saturday & saw Deadpool 2 & drank on Monday; in betwixt, I soberly crammed in family time with the extendeds. Thanks to everyone who both covered my arse & made me look bad while doing so.

NFL News:

  • Well, the Eagles are scheduled to visit the White House on June 5th.
    • That falls during team OTAs between June 4-7, so seems designed to induce maximum attendance as an organized team activity.
    • The debate is on about how many players will attend.
  • The NFL spring meetings start today:

  • Per nfl.com, the NFL and the Players Coalition finalized a partnership Monday that dedicates close to $90 million for efforts and programs combating social inequality.
    • Expect the owners to want something back for their expression of generosity & solidarity.
  • From the “aww fuck, he’s coming back, isn’t he?” file, Richie Incognito has been removed from the “reserve/retired” list by the Bills.
    • He wants to try playing somewhere else, so he asked them to change his status.
    • He remains under investigation for an alleged racial slur during the Bills-Jags playoff game.

Finally, Laura Wagner at Deadspin took a run at PFT Commenter today. The story itself is quite a fair read, if also familiar ground. She raises the issue of how can he remain anonymous while profiting off that same privilege, and why do outlets afford him the ability to be hands-off from an otherwise seedy organization like Barstool. Naturally, most critical comments never made it out of the grays – even ones that may have deserved to.

Her twitter, however,

went in the usual direction mouth breathers feel they need to go in when someone DARES upset their apple cart.

at the behest of fine, upstanding members of the internet.

So, just another day in the online paradise, which is why the tag is so appropriate. Feel free to go look for yourself, but I’m not responsible for the bleach your eyes will need.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • no game scheduled. Stupid fucking Jets.
  • Memorial Cup:
    • Acadie-Bathurst vs. Hamilton – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Rockets at Warriors – 9:00PM | TNT / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Indians at Cubs – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Angels at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Rockies at Dodgers – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • Fußballfreundlich
    • Los Angeles FC vs. Borussia Dortmund – 10:00PM | FS1
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown Live! – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • Smackdown is moving to FOX next year, after they paid $1.0 billion for 5 years of rights.
        • To quote Deadspin: WWE is cashing in on TV channels’ thirst for live sports TV…its fans enjoy watching programs live. That means it’s relatively DVR-proof.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Spur
rockingdog

shit. Rockets are flying….

Spur

This warriors performance is all KD’s fault.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur
LemonJello

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

El Santo, Mil Masceras, Blue Demon,,,,,

and I dont’ know who the other two are.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

Miko Sumtingrong and kai Fuukmeenoow.

Can’t name anyone else

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I had a coworker tell me today that “Soundgarden is not grunge.”

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“Have you listed to Badmotorfinger or any of their earlier albums?”
“Sure, but–”
“But you’re out of your mind? Oh I believe it.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjALaiew_9g

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

I appreciate the answers.

I am also glad I don’t have to report any of you to CPS for saying you were all for you kid going into the NFL.

LemonJello

If I ever get stuck with stepchildren, they’re all going into MMA.

Brocky
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Re-posting since apparently only Balls clicked and read to the end:

http://www.distractify.com/humor/2018/05/14/1byi19/messing-with-scammers

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s worth it. So proud.

rockingdog

hahaha yes!

WCS

Tell him to get back in his locker.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Hey! I +1’d it!

/Kicks rock

Brocky

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Unsurprised

I yelled out “Fuck you!” when I watched this.

JustStopDude

You have the ability to pick any sport that your kid will become a professional athlete. Which one would it be?

Your kid isn’t going to be like a once in a life time superstar, but he/she will have a decent career.

ballsofsteelandfury

Australian Rules Football. He/She’ll marry a hot Australian and leave this going- down- the- toilet country.

WCS

Golf. Make the cut, that’s at least $35k per event on the PGA Tour.

LemonJello

This was my first thought as well…a close second would be el futbol.

Spur

Golf.

rockingdog

golf

litre_cola

womens volleyball.

Brocky

serious Answer: Golf

joke answer: pro wrestling

Spur

is it Football season yet? i’ve been reduced to rooting for the French Team for the World Cup. Dark times indeed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Ain’t nothing wrong with that.

litre_cola

My preview is tomorrow!

Spur

Hotel Artemis looks promising.

Brocky

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

CP3, Harden and D’antoni showing there true colors. And fuck you too KD, the Warriors would be here without you.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

“Who’s gunna pay fer all them panties? Socialist.”
Those (MAGA) people

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

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rockingdog

found a funny:

*Flicks cigarette after a long drag* Here’s the thing. Poppa and momma bear slept in separate beds so maybe everything wasn’t “just right”

Spur

Harden forget that you have to shoot the ball to score.

Spur

I’m making a drink

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What a coincidence I’m drinking one!

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

That doesn’t look like Texas Columbine Parkland Sandy Hook

Spur

Not sure the Rockets can win if they don’t score any points

LemonJello

“It’s an interesting strategy, Spur. Let’s see if it pays off for them tonight…”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

Delivery for Papa John’s?

rockingdog

Go warriors!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Good for Strong Badia’s most famous citizen!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

I’m still maybe, 10% sure that PFT is just an alias of Magary so it’s not really doxing since he’s at Deadspin anyway.
/Or maybe beneath the mask it’s… Falco?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

My money’s on flubby. He was always the quiet one.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut
Gratliff

I always thought it was Ape. In a fair and just world, Ape would be the one with the fuck money gig for the soulless company, ‘no comment’-ing their bullshit.

Gratliff

Realizing that this isn’t very far from what KSK was at the end. Hrm.

Unsurprised

I thought KSK paid less than some other freelance stuff he did.

Brocky

God Bless Reddit

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

The real sexbot.

Gratliff

I feel like the indy types don’t get enough love. Presenting Kiera Hogan’s ass:

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Well, what if both teams do it? DIDN’T THINK OF THAT, NOW DIDJA, ROG?!

scotchnaut

Woke up at 4:30am EST. You better bet I’m headed off to Bed Land.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXMWNhCmLUg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

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litre_cola

Do you have one in blue? – ballsofsteelandfury

Spur

am a little pissed KSK (whats dead may never die) wasn’t mentioned in that PFT Commenter Deadspin article. Also fuck Barstool.

Gratliff

There is a 1000% chance they meticulously avoided mentioning the site that would immediately link PFT Commenter’s existence back to Deadspin

scotchnaut

This self-imposed cottage cheese-forward diet sucks all the balls.

Spur

throw some avocado, cucumbers or tomatoes in.

LemonJello

Pineapple is another good option.

Gratliff

I’m torn on the Deadspin article because on one hand, PFT Commenter the weird podcast creep is impossible to separate from PFT Commenter of KSK lore, but on the other, fuck Barstool. I’ll never not be okay with going in on Barstool being awful.

Spur

folks

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, I’m off to the fabric store.

You heard me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Home Ec class?

LemonJello

They sell Kevlar by the yard at JoAnn’s now?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Evenin’, wankers.

scotchnaut

I talked to my lawyer. I wanked earlier. You can’t legally address me as a ‘wanker’ at this point. Your move, ‘fucker of 27 year-old”!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, not since early this morning soooo…..technically….
(maybe later tho)
😛

LemonJello

Sup?
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litre_cola

How is your weed source?

Spur

open from 8am – 11pm, every day. you need a valid ID and cash only

litre_cola

I meant his date but that is good to know for when I visit Vegas.

scotchnaut

#outdoesBrick

As an 8-year-old goalie my year-end GAA was .75. My save percentage? That shit didn’t exist then. Why would you even bring it up?

Senor Weaselo

I’m guessing about .750? Because kids and putting anything accurately in the place.

litre_cola

Well, the injured qb who is returning is one bad tackle from it being Nick’s show again. Smart man, plus it’s the Browns.

scotchnaut

#outdoesBrick

As a “Slave For A Day” at my high school, my going price was the third-highest.*

*this is absolutely true

litre_cola

You are lucky Marv Albert didn’t have a cottage near you.

scotchnaut

#ouch!

scotchnaut

#outdoesBrick

Remember that time when a white guy in an Ottawa intramural basketball league scored 39 points in a playoff game? That was me.

Brick Meathook

I remember that! Everyone in L.A. was talking about it! Too bad you didn’t have your name on the back of your jersey or you could have really cashed in.

Brick Meathook

See that shot of Tom Cruise screaming “show me the money?”

I created that shot. That’s mine. I was the digital compositor who put the final shot together exactly as you see it here, although without the words. Someone defaced my shot.

The plate was shot on a set at Sony in Culver City (by Michael Ballhaus ASC) with green-screens outside the office windows. The exterior I used was a still photograph of Newport Beach combined with a computer generated Pacific Ocean that was leftover from Waterworld. Digital compositing for feature films was still new and a big deal in 1996, and this was all done in a state-of-the-art facility in Hollywood owned by Eastman Kodak, who invented all the digital imaging technology that eventually sank them.

scotchnaut

First Thing: That’s amazing!

Second Thing: I always thought the line was “Show Me The Monkey!”

Brick Meathook

It was really amazing in 1996; today, not so much. You could do that shot on your phone now.

scotchnaut

Phones can take pictures now? Tell me more.

LemonJello

“Why tell you when I can show you?”
-B. Favre

LemonJello

You watching the Leni Reifenstahl version or something?

ballsofsteelandfury

You remain to me The Most Interesting Man In The World.

Brick Meathook

I’ve led an interesting life. I don’t have a dime to show for it, but I’ve got some stories, man. In fact, I think the reason I’ve been allowed to do so many things is that I always forget to ask for money.

litre_cola

I thought you were a pilot. I enjoy the mystery.

ballsofsteelandfury

HE CAN BE BOTH!

Brick Meathook

No, I just live near LAX and like to go there in my homemade pilot uniform and fly the airplanes. I do it all the time, although I’m usually drunk. As I’ve mentioned before, not only is it really easy to do but I’ve also never been caught. They don’t even seem to notice the plane is missing, which I’ve never understood but there you are.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hey, I have a question. Was Synderela her real name or was it just made up?

Brick Meathook

I never found out. She was from China so I think she chose the name. She’s a big-time art director now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not sure how she was to work with, but she was nice when I talked to her. Was always curious about the name, though.

Brick Meathook

I don’t think I ever exchanged a word with her in six months. I would quietly admire her boob job though.

rockingdog

cool!

scotchnaut

“I remember when Deadspin stood for something in the on-line world.”

-Know 1

JustStopDude

Its hilarious that anyone from Gawker Media (I know they changed the name but its the same fucking shit) grandstanding about journalism ethnics and integrity.

Their entire shtick is to act like super serious journalists…until they do something really fucking offensive and/or out of line and then they claim they are just a series of blogs.

Is Hamilton Nolan still trying to motivate the working class into a violent revolution from his $1.2 million dollar apartment his parents pay for?

ballsofsteelandfury

Right??

JustStopDude

I think my favorite was Jezebel employing a Hugo Schwyzer as a writer and an example of what men should be like.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also wasn’t one of the deadspin writers on the #MeToo list of journalists?

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t understand the point of outing PFT Commenter. The whole point of having a nomme de plume is so that words can be gauged in their merit, not on an assumption of what the writer’s bias is based solely on name.

– A man who named himself after testicles and has an avatar of a golden female butt.

Unsurprised

Some people suck. In this case, these are those people. Along with the asshole who doxxed dril.

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

Seriously, though. Motherfuck everyone at the NFL for even entertaining this idea for a second.

If I wasn’t entirely done with it before, I absolutely hope for the worst for the NFL and everyone involved now and forever. I hope for the worst and that it creates eternal agony for all parties in this life and any future ones.

JustStopDude

At lunch time, I was chatting with the guy who runs the office fantasy league each year. He is a Chiefs fan. I asked him if he watch the draft…and he said no (he recently had his first kid). We kept talking and I think we both realized that the NFL has just burned us out.

Between the CTE, the outright graft that is NFL ownership, and the inability of the NFL to make reasonable rules involving a catch…I think we are both done.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I kinda hope they go through with it, because if they do I will absolutely boycott the season, which would guarantee that my Raiders would go 14-2 and win the Super Bowl in a laugher.

Senor Weaselo

With backup/n+1’th string quarterback Christian Hackenberg at the helm, gotten for a conditional 7th?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nah, it would be with Carr, cause the universe knows I really like him a lot.