Your Memorial Day Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: It’s a holiday, so it’s pretty quiet.

  • Cassius Marsh let loose on his feelings about “The Patriot Way”:
    • “They don’t have fun there. There’s nothing fun about it. There’s nothing happy about it. I didn’t enjoy any of my time there.”
    • “It made me for the first time in my life think about not playing football because I hated it that much.”
    • And he had a message for the Barstool-types flooding his twitter with comments:
      • “I just want to address all you Patriots fans who don’t like this new article. I’m sorry to hurt your feelings. Seems to be breaking your heart. But if you can’t handle the truth, stay off my page. Don’t read articles. That’s how I felt. That’s how I still feel and I’m grateful to be away from there, grateful to be where I’m at.”
  • Being relegated to the bottom of the Alouettes’ depth chart has provoked Josh Freeman to retire from the CFL.
    • He had signed a two-year contract in January, but will now await a mid-November phone call from a team trying to avoid Colin Kaepernick.

Finally, as it’s Memorial Day, and after the announcement of the anthem policy last week, teams tripped all over their dicks in attempts to shore up their patriotism bona fides. You’ll find some examples below; it seems less sad/pathetic/craven when it comes from successful organizations.

  • As opposed to the Browns, the Austro-Hungarian Empire of NFL teams.
  • Of course, you can find MAGA chuds on any page, but that’s the internet for you.

https://twitter.com/Patriots/status/1001079138675970048


Stanley Cup Finals Preview:

It’s the Capitals versus the Golden Knights, two separate teams of destiny – only one of which will have it fulfilled. And despite how hard they tried to avoid the NBA playoffs, the NHL still managed to step on its dick in terms of scheduling and run up against a NBA Game 7 that will attract more casual fans than their tilt. So, Fuck Gary Bettman.

Washington:

  • Been in the NHL since 1974.
    • Joined the same year as the Kansas City Scouts, who became the Colorado Rockies (’76), who became the New Jersey Devils (’82), who won three Stanley Cups (’95, ’00, ’03) once they drafted Martin Brodeur.
  • Used to hold the league records for fewest wins in a season.
  • Were a laughing stock for much of their existence, until they drafted Alexander Ovechkin.
Few non-rapey looking photos exist
  • For the most part, the Capitals under Ovechkin have been a team of unfulfilled potential.
    • In that they have the jaw-dropping stats that make you think they should have won the Cup at least twice by now, but they’ve managed to step on their own dicks every time they’ve been a favourite, resulting in shots like this virtually every season.

  • This series, for the Caps, will come down to the effectiveness of Braeden Holtby & Nicklas Backstrom.
    • Holtby sat out the first two games of the opening round, because head coach Barry Trotz, a sentient hemorrhoid, thought it would be wiser to start a hot rookie than an experienced Vezina trophy candidate.
      • After consecutive overtime losses, the error of his way was seen & corrected, and Holtby has started every game since.
    • Nick Backstrom is key because he is the lynchpin of the second-line.
      • Ovi’s going to get his looks, but if Backstrom is out, then the combinations don’t line up as favourably for the Caps, and an opponent can work on strangling Washington’s top line.
        • TJ Oshie needs his usual centerman in order to produce at the level the team needs.
      • If the top-two lines are working, then Washington can roll four solid lines; if Backstrom is out, then all Washington has is Ovi’s line and the power play.

Las Vegas:

  • The best idea with the most horrific execution the NHL have ever imagined.
    • Best idea because expansion brings fresh blood & matchups, and juggles enough rosters that it will allow team dynamics to improve or – if they’re the Canucks – get way worse.
      • Also, by being the only team to enter, they got the best choices of available players, versus having to divvy them up with another candidate.
      • Right out of the chute, the team was fantastic, which served to increase home attendance throughout the season.
        • “Home” attendance in that locals kept more of their own tickets & didn’t StubHub as many.
    • Horrific execution because:
      1. Teams that were already bad – like the Canucks – look worse when a team that didn’t exist a year ago is playing for the Cup, and that team – like the Canucks – looks at least four years away from even making the playoffs.
        • guaranteeing terrible attendance & poor performance.
      2. When Seattle joins the league in 2020, they’re going to expect the same deal Vegas got with the expansion draft
        • which other teams won’t allow since they don’t want to disappoint their fan base again.
      3. If Vegas doesn’t win, it sets a standard of expectation for the fan base.
        • The longer they go without winning, the worse attendance will become.
      4. If Vegas does win, there’s nowhere for expectations to go but down.
        • Attendance will still look god for 3-4 years, but unless they succeed consistently they’ll soon become the Florida Panthers.
Another successful part of Bettman’s southern strategy.
  • That being said, Vegas has four solid #2 lines.
    • They don’t really have a “Top line”, but can roll four consistent line combinations, which has the effect of making them a team hard to match up with.
      • This is why the health of Nick Backstrom is key for the Caps.
        • Vegas is much, much better at line-juggling than Washington.
  • And “Playoff Fleury” hasn’t shown up yet.
    • He hasn’t had that stretch where bad shots go in, and he gets rattled to the point of having to be benched.
      • Probably because there’s far-less pressure in Vegas, so a rocky outing isn’t getting a dose of the boos like he would have gotten in Pittsburgh.

Prediction: Caps in six.

  • I like the idea of Ovi finally getting off the schneid. Plus – as someone mentioned in an Open Thread – he can bring Putin as his +1 to the White House.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Capitals at Golden Knights – 8:00PM | NBC / CBC, Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Warriors at Rockets – 9:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
      • Game 7, BAY-BAY!
  • MLB:
    • Giants at Rockies – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
  • Futbol:
    • International Friendly Soccer:
      • Mexico vs. Wales – 8:50PM | FS1

Hope you’re enjoying the holiday. IF YOU DO GET POISONING, I HOPE IT’S ALCOHOL, NOT FOOD!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Man, drinking on planes is so much better when you don’t have to go to work in the morning

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My cat spent about twenty minutes with a giant rat in her mouth, and now she’s licking my neck. Thanks so much, Lily.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You’re next.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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About time for some cake.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This, at least, makes me smile a little bit.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s like the latex maskmakers at the cyborg factory aren’t even trying anymore.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, this is from the blow-up doll factor….. but the point stands.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

So I think whoever said hard drive error wins. And it effects connectivity so Apple, with their idea of “Internet Recovery,” can’t let me repair my disk because my computer isn’t letting me connect to the Internet anymore. This is getting more and more annoying

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I just got to my hotel after eating at the Right Household for Memorial Day BBQ.

The man is a goddamn food wizard.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m glad you made it to the correct address.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

LCSS hates it when a client gives him vague instructions as to where to show up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well good thing he made it to the Right house.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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No, I’m fine, I just want some coffee, no big deal.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least it is not in the back, like at work.

blaxabbath

Lebron is the best ever, huh? Kobe went from like maybe outside shot top three if we play the debate loose….to just absolutely not.

ballsofsteelandfury

He should have never been in there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

-The woman in Aspen,Colorado

ballsofsteelandfury

Exactly

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Let’s debate how much of a colossal fucking waste of time it is to debate the best ever anything, especially over the airwaves.

blaxabbath

Exactly Moose. No debate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

….. and yet we have people on EShawttakePN……

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Why am I even saying that with 24 hour need to drivel.

ballsofsteelandfury

They used to show sports. Crazy, I know, but true!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Back in the day.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least they show more sports than the History Channel shows history.

blaxabbath
Mr. Ayo

It’s not

blaxabbath

People acting like it is.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

OMG YOU GUYS!! I JUST REALIZED TOMORROW IS THE START OF THE SPELLING BEE!!

blaxabbath

Has anyone ever faked hearing the word wrong as a strategy to get a new word? Like, “Spell Spoiling.” And the kid goes, “Sure, SPILLING. No problem…”

Or they just tell you? Like, “no SPOILING. Spoil. Spoiling. S-P-O-I-L-I-N-G, get it?”

ballsofsteelandfury

Is the word used in the porn sense or the arrival sense?

ballsofsteelandfury

Um….oops?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just gonna throw this out there: Meg Ryan inThe Doors looks fucking perfect.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I also consider here attractive in that movie.

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blaxabbath

Lebron gonna join GSW next year?

Mr. Ayo

LeBron and KD to Philly

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He can’t fake being a gay single woman.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If I were the Rockets coach I’d not let the players leave the fucking building until each one had made one hundred three pointers each. That was fucking pathetic. Fuck you Rockets, YOU SUCK.

ballsofsteelandfury

Like they would ever allow the Rockets to ruin Warriors-Cavs part 4.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The league will make sure it goes at least 6 games, but the only way Cleveland has a chance is if they clone LeBron James.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If Houston had managed to hit 4 of their last 30 three-pointers they would have the lead.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Houston seems confident they’ll be able to make this deficit up in the next quarter and aren’t panicking.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

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ballsofsteelandfury

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yeah right

Negasonic teenage boob job.

Mr. Ayo

After review, it was NOT a catch

ballsofsteelandfury

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Was the refereeing in the NBA game up to the usual deplorable standards?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It was, but they packed it in when Houston missed 27 freaking three pointers in a row and they saw it wouldn’t be needed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“That’s good shot selection.”

-Willem Dafoe, speaking about the “NVA”