NFL News:
Well, that was quick: former Bengal George Iloka has signed with the Vikings.
- It’s a one-year deal, terms undisclosed.
- Mike Zimmer was his DC with the Bengals before leaving for the Vikings himself.
- AJ McCarron has been limited in practice due to a bruised collarbone.
- It was feared broken, but much like his throwing motion it defied explanation.
- Team releases:
- Panthers: DE Charles Johnson officially retired after he was released in February.
- He played 11 seasons, and retires second in Panthers history for sacks.
- Chiefs: RB Charcandrick West was released after four seasons.
-
I can’t believe this guy used that word. Colts: Play-by-play announcer Bob Lamey “retired” after using a racial slur in an off-air situation.
- The 80 year-old “legend and icon”, according to Bob Irsay, who had been with the Colts since 1984, dropped an N-bomb in a joke he was repeating, according to a press release.
- His “retirement” came after staff complaints about the joke being overheard, and the language contained therein.
- Panthers: DE Charles Johnson officially retired after he was released in February.
- Crimebeat! material:
- Ravens CB Jimmy Smith – suspended four games for violating the League’s player conduct policy.
- Panthers WR DJ Moore – caught going 113 MPH in a 60 zone on I-77.
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB:
- Cleveland at Red Sox – 7:00PM | Sportsnet / MLBN
- Cardinals at Dodgers – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN
- Little League World Series:
- Mid-Atlantic vs. West – 7:30PM | ESPN
- MLS:
- New York City FC vs. New York Red Bulls – 7:00PM | FS1 / TSN
Today is my 20th anniversary.
THE HAPPY MEAL’S ON ME!
One more memo to knock out, and then I get to go on vacation for two days.
“Easy to digest!”
Has everyone given their regards to SojuCitizenSam?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlNZTLcinoc
There’s really only two Kessels I care about:
and
Enough of all yinz bullshit. Work starts Monday, but, I’m going on vacation tomorrow. Here’s some real stuff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUEuvnPJk7c&ab_channel=doogieFive-Four
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SPp1BLcBak&index=12&list=PLTn_5Av6lh-95y3v4sJei7LkuhuNgA8LC
Interesting to see Julian and Ricky in the photo shoot.
Best Recent Price Paid foar a movie???
LET’S NOT BE NEGATIVE EVEN THO IT COMES NATCH TO US!!!!!!!
Taking my niece to see anything. I really enjoyed Minions , fwiw.
KING BOB!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I was high.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvKmSNxFHyQ
Instead of prepping for the upcoming semester, I’ve now spent the last half hour thinking on the worst movie I’ve ever paid to see… still goes to Jason Goes to Hell.
Troll 2 was a rental, and by that point, I was experienced enough in MST3k to just make fun of it. My brother and I did the same thing during Alien Vs. Predator. Batman and Robin was just too goddamn awful (and boring) to even riff on, plus I saw that disasterpiece before being exposed to MST3k.. All that said (typed?), Jason Goes to Hell has a special place for me in it’s shittiness. It’s incomprehensible, it betrays everything a Friday the 13th movie should be, and it’s just not fun. At all.
Fuck that movie with BOLTMAN’S lightening rod.
For me, it’s a toss up between Blair Witch Project and Matrix 2: Electric Boogaloo
True Story: I got “shusshed” druing Blair Witch Project for telling my GF (at the time) what was happening.
Scariest thing that happened in that movie theater for me that night was paying over $5 for a fountain come in 199whatever year that was. Fucking terrible
$5 for fountain come? It seems a bit steep for something you can produce yourself but if it’s straight from the tap I guess it’s worth it?
YER WELCOME.
For the record, Cobra sucks, too.
For the record, I will fight you.
Coulda been worse. Coulda been Nighthawks.
/gets shot by Rutger Hauer
But that sweet sweet Keith Emerson theme!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4bwwEpMMT8
I think this bears repeating…
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: I just watched one of the ten worst movies I’ve ever seen in my life:
Patient Zero – starring the hottest chick from GOT (Margaery Tyrell), one of the Dr. Whos, Jon Snows BFF from GOT (Samwell Tarly), and Stanley Tucci.
I still debate which is the worst movie I ever paid to see:
Jason Goes to Hell (rental)
Batman and Robin (in theater)
Alien Vs. Predator (theater)
Troll 2 (rental)
I still feel that Jason Goes To Hell takes the title. What a shitstain of a movie. I didn’t expect much from the other three, but, shit, did Batman and Robin crush comicbook WCS.
Terminator: Genisys
In Imax.
I WIN!!!!!!!!!
yeah that movie was pretty awful, but there were some cool scenes in the movie: Arnold S(sic) fighting himself at Griffith Park was cool.
It’s almost a self-contained parody of itself.
Only flick I’ve seen in a theatre I have more contempt for is Independence Day: Resurgence.
But at least I was high for that one and in good company.
the original Independence Day was really goddamned bad
I disagree. The 2nd ID4 was god awful but the original was a sign of the times.
I didn’t pay to see original ID4.
Paid a high price for ID42.
That is one of my worst; fucking terrible….. so it made a lot of money.
“Car Crash” starring Joey Travolta is so bad it is a work of art.
Shit, I guess you win.
We all lose.
I walked out of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil halfway through. Turned off the DVD rental of Any Given Sunday after maybe 15 minutes. Those are my two worst, by category.
I very much enjoy Any Given Sunday.
Paid to see is a whole nother catagoryI paid to see Dr. Giggles.
Atonement. I still hate that movie & those actors today.
I loved that movie; were you just mad at the story or how it was made?
I worked on this movie, starring Joey’s brother:
/revision/latest?cb=20160519150315
Did you also work on Glitter and Ecks Vs. Sever?
No, my doctor said if I worked on another shitty movie I could die.
Manos, the Hands of Fate. Okay, I saw the MST3K version, but still! And the Star Wars Holiday Special, but we were drinking.
Can’t recall the worst thing I’ve seen in theaters, because I don’t go often, so it better be fucking good.
There is never not traffic in LA. If I have to live in this crappy reality, then I want teleportation to work (and be price accessible)
I beg to differ. The drive from West Hollywood to Venice is priceless at 3am while not wearing pants.
Or so I’ve heard.
It really depends on the neighborhood. Also, you need to learn the shortcuts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-BmxK-0Jts
LMFAO
Hey, check out this butterfly while I go drink more and cook food intended to clog my arteries once and for all….
No reason at all why this little fucker should have been this far south. But he was.
point his ass back to I-95 North then! Damn Yankee insects, trying to tell us how to wipe our asses.
That was funny.
Homemade Midnight Chili Cheese Fries seems like a good idea.
I’ve probably drank too much. Or maybe not enough.
The plumbing will hate me in the morning.
Don’t care.
/will care in the morning
//runs to kitchen anyway
Both indoor and, well, indoor.
Sure, like I can afford indoor plumbing.
Jack Flaherty is just mowing mofos down. Dodgeros fans won’t have time to properly beat traffic?
That Tecumseh, such a kidder.
I think the Atlanta bit was one of his best jokes.
teh original hold mah beer
Roasted some wienies!
That reminds me. I’m in a free fanduel baseball tournament
Glad this one was free.
Need one of these for work.
Or, one of these:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWq2QvvPw68&ab_channel=CassiusCh
I don’t work at a place where I need one of those.
In fact I need more staffing.
Also even though I feel like it sometimes, can’t kill clients.
can’t? Or won’t? Only Moose is holding Moose back ,, imo godbless
Jeebus
Yeah. He’s got a nice watch,
Sorry. Still looking at dat ass.
Humm, can’t really see it the way he’s turned.
“Ass so fat that you can see it from the front” – Mos Def
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01yUzXQctcM
Easy man, he’s got old man flat ass; can’t help it.
And he seems like he’s in shock.
Later; “YEPPERS, DON SEE THAT ERRY DAY.”
Oh Christ you guys should hear these local redacted fans. Drew is spot on: 100% delusional. They think they’re getting AP from 7 years ago.
A few years ago, we were in DC for a convention in July. The Caps were coming off a Presidents Trophy season, the Nats were leading their division, and the ONLY thing those troglodytes were talking about was SKINS COOCH SKINS! They went 4-12 that season.
For MOST…they have exactly the franchise they deserve
/sorry Dok (and obvs not you)
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!
Whoa. Westworld going retro next season I guess.
I’m hungry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtkM2SPaSJ8
No leftovers tonight. Sorry
then fix yo’sef sommet to eat
if yo dirty then go take a bath
mess up a line?
nope sometimes Hippo don’t rhyme
I would respect tOSU MOAR had they said “We take this so seriously, we plan to suspend Urban Meyer 3x as long as the NCAA suspended Roy Williams for even more serious violations.”
Hey, he wouldn’t miss the Bloodeyes fixture!
Hehe…nicely played.
It’s time to sweep Los Dodgers. Lube up, #BFIB in town!
#BFIB are watching from a safe distance due to Dodgers fans’ skin tone.
if we give them one whole American dollar, pretty sure they’ll go away ,, smh
About ten minutes ago I was in another room (stupid laundry) when I could’ve sworn I heard the Angels’ play-by-play guy say “That’s a great fuckin song” on Fox Sports West. Nah, couldn’t be, whatever.
Just now: “I’d like to apologize for saying a word I shouldn’t have said when describing a song I heard over the stadium PA. I thought I had pressed the “mute” button but apparently I did not. It will never happen again, and I sincerely apologize to anyone who heard it.” (pause) “It was a really good song.”
“Amateur.”
— (ex-) Indy Clots play-by-play guy
“What a f******* ****** why doesn’t he just grab em ** *** *****.”
-Currently employed federal employee who has never apologized for anything.
I’m assuming it was this song….
(yes, I’ll “Dude” myself…hehehehe)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWNaR-rxAic
It was this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0
You dirty bastard.
Hey, my pants are where they belong
(pulls pants up)
now.
Holy shit. That’s worse.
Sort of.
Sorry, but none of the people in this video even have all they adult teeth yet.
AWESOME JOB CARLY
– Blair Walsh
Going from Blair (girls, girls, GIRLS!) to Seabass is quite the personality change at placements for the SeaTruthers
There’s some incredible Raiders/Facts Of Life crossover potential for someone (BALLS) to write about.
Things might get rapey.
That would have made quite the entry in the 1985 TV Guide as an episode title “Things Might Get A Little Rapey”
That was the Diff’rent Strokes episode with Gordon Jump
Hey!!!! Dude thought turkeys could fly.
Give him a break.
#BikeShop
That’s a great idea!
It is the platonic ideal of a summer pop song. Full ear worm hook line, boppy beat, totally forgettable in about 15 years.
I managed to miss almost that whole summer, I heard it once and I knew every bit.
“Investigator: Meyer made misstatements; was not part of cover-up”
Ah, the Trump defense.
I don’t know why I ever redeem these Buy One Get One Free coupons at Carl’s Jr. I always regret it.
they ain’t call it “shame food” for nothin!
mountain climbing anyone?
https://three-twins-ice-cream.myshopify.com/products/the-worlds-more-expensive-most-expensive-ice-cream-sundae
If I ever climb that high it will be to jump off, not foar ice cream.
I can stay fat and lazy at sea level and still get decent ice cream.
I’m a Ohio State Alumnus so I’m not impartial, but I think they handled this okay. Meyer didn’t deserve to be fired, but he did deserve punishment for misleading/lying on Media Day.
One of the main things every Ohio State student (former/current/future) and fan enjoys is pride for being a part of The Ohio State University. Its not smugness; its pride. When you do anything to hurt that image, that hurts everyone connected to Ohio State.
Can’t wait for everyone to not read any of the investigation report, and continue to parrot the opinion they formed three weeks ago based on half conversation text message screenshots.
You say that as if it was a bad thing.
Sorry, couldn’t resist. At least you’re not U*NC or Maryland.
Two things about the suspension.
First, I’m sceptical about the nature of the investigation. Would anyone be shocked if tOSU was covering shit up to save the best coach in the B1G?
Second, how does he get paid?
Is it gamechecks, or is he a regular salary type employee?
If the former, this will at least hit him in the wallet.
Article I saw about the investigators mentioned that they are “famous” in the world of sprots investigations, including the Saints bounty thing. I also can’t think of a college coach that has ever been suspended for games? Usually just fired, or swept under the rug until later and then fired.
I wanna congratulate you. You’re a conservative Buckeye alum, and I don’t want to kill you.
found a funny;
I made soup that was too hot to eat so I put a frozen hot dog in to cool it off
Priest: [Taking off robe and stepping out of confessional] yeah I can’t do this anymore.
Evening. Could be the pills but I bet on Caribbean cricket today. Curse you Hippo!
Dude.
PATENT PENDING
I am quite proud!
In DJ Moore’s defense, driving triple digits while trying to get teh hell away from Charlotte is something we’ve all done.
Right?
Meyer suspended until Sept. 2nd, but also for the first three games
That’s a crock of shit.
So I guess he gets to go to pratice but not the games? Don’t know, I only half listed to the first 5 minutes of the press conference before jumping to conclusions
Meyer is suspended three games.
(checks schedule)
Okay, losing him against #5 OSU (west coast edition) may hurt, but Rutgers and TCU isn’t much of a miss.
If they wanted to prove a point, suspend him for PSU, MSU and That School Up North.
Wikipedia had the rankings wrong. TCU will be the tough game.
Looking better later for Meyer and Smith
Not looking good early for Meyer OR Smith
That “Resurrect Dead” documentary was fucking awesome.
Hour 12 of Urban Meyer-fate-gate is almost over
Paper cuts suck ass.
Try a cardboard papercut. That’s two or three papercuts for the price of one!
I had one of those once that required eight stitches.
Try soaking it in lemon juice, fix ‘er right up
Yeah, but ass cuts suck even more.
His paper cuts are much more likely to get infected than mine.
/Snoop and Martha Stewart pitch a cooking show
Executive: “You’re both old and tired. What are you going to do?”
Snoop/Martha: [look at each other] “Uh… We were thinking we’d cook a bunch of of things.”
Executive: “And…?”
Snoop/Martha: “Just call your fucking boss already.”
Executive: [makes phone call] “Uh huh. Right. But. [hears dial tone] Hey, guess what guys-WE GOT OURSELVES A NEW COOKING SHOW!”*
*everyone involved makes a shit-ton of money
/FIN
I love them and everything else about that show.
as a parent of twins…Andy and Ollie are maybe the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.
Your pharmenthusiasm makes sense now.
There seems to be some confusion, so please spread the word.
1. If anything is added into the toilet, that warrants a flush.
2. Please don’t add anything to the toilet is not either the size of the exit pipe of the bowl or something that will be reduced in size via water and/or the pressure of the flush.
3. If the contents of the toilet cannot go down by normal flush operation, please don’t add anything else to the toilet until the toilet has been returned to full working order.
I thought this was all understood, because I’m finding evidence that I’m proved wrong. I gotta deal with my own crap, I don’t want to deal with yours.
If it’s yellow, let it mellow
If it’s brown, flush it down.
/ on the bathroom wall at Mrs. GTM’s grandmother’s cottage, on framed needle point thing
// it’s not that difficult
A toast to Litre’s burning scrotum! May the grocery store not run out of frozen peas.
Ice cream malts. He can defrost them and enjoy them.
I’ve drank for lesser reasons, so why not?
The jackwagon who came up with “Facebook exclusive broadcasts” of dirtball games should have every transcript of those games printed on sturdy paper, fold and crumple them up until they are nothing but sharp corners then SHOVE THEM ALL UP THEIR ASS!
“But Facebook is free! All you have to do is sign up and– why are you still folding that paper?”
“Let’s not be hasty here.”
-Don Quixote’s Method of Transport
“Somebody dropped the N-Bomb? Not impressed. I dropped the A-Bomb, like, 73 years ago!”
-Charles Sweeney
So, where do I go to redeem my free Happy Meal? Promises were made.
It’s just one Happy Meal, we have to share. You can have my fry though. I had truck stop sushi earlier, bad mistake.
So this Paul Manafort verdict, what do you think will happen next? A conviction followed by a pardon after the midterms? Or, are we actually going to have thousands of people in DC and New York extremely concerned to find out it’s still possible to be convicted for white collar crimes and they could be next?
/Sees the most recent gerrymandering policies conducted.
I guess this just became rhetorical, didn’t it?
Lots of fun* unsubstantiated facts** about a pardon scenario. Like that if he’s pardoned, he cannot invoke the 5th amendment about the crimes hes was pardoned for? So he could be pardoned and then compelled to testify about the crimes including his coconspirators
*: very fun
**: fact-ish
And when he’s compelled to testify? He shades the truth and and might get another perjury trial started against him.
/As Sir Elton would mangle it, it’s The Circle of Laugh
Nothing.
Trump could literally rape/murder a puppy on live tv and enough people in the US would stand behind him that congress will do fuck all to him.
I guess it depends on what Paul can actually give Trump. On his own, probably not much, but he’s buddies with a lot of powerful people. Maybe they can compel Trump to do something.
Other than that he’s relying on Trump’s loyalty. Because it doesn’t cost him a hell of a lot to just let him rot in there. I don’t know that I’d be very confident in that coming through for me if I were him.
Nothing. The Republicans have sworn a blood oath to Trump and I’m 100% convinced the Democrats are allergic to success.
Nothing too exciting with Manafort. I think he loses again at trial in D.C. next month (Amy Berman Jackson won’t fuck around like Ellis did and get a hung jury) and goes to prison for a very long time and keeps his mouth shut until he dies of a heart attack in about six years or so. The cost of pardoning him is too high for Trump, and the cost of him spilling his guts to Mueller is too high for himself because it will cause a bunch of Russians to literally spill his guts.
There will be no more Cola’s!
Relax, drink and ice down the marbles.
/pours one out for Litre’s sperm
Remember, it takes a couplea weeks for there to be nothing still “left in the tank” so to speak. Make sure you’re back on the usual preventative routine once the swelling goes down for a little bit.
“Now you tell me!”