So, your friendly neighborhood Balls was enjoying his Labour Day weekend of not doing jack shit when he decided to not only start talking in the third person, but he also discovered some horrifying news.
Sit yourselves down for this one:
Apparently, the Miss Bumbum pageant in Brazil will end after this year.
HOWEVAH, there are also reports that it will now become an international competition called Miss Bumbum World so not all is lost!
As you all know, Miss Bumbum started in 2011 when a bright young Brazilian named Cacau Oliver started the pageant in order to determine the answer to the eternal Brazilian question:
Who has the best ass in the country?
Through the years, the winners have been:
2011 – Rosana Ferreira – Ceará
2012 – Carine Felizardo – Pará
2013 – Dai Macedo – Goiás
2014 – Indianara Carvalho – Santa Catarina
2015 – Suzy Cortez – Distrito Federal
2016 – Erika Canela – Bahia
2017 – Rosie Oliveira – Amazonas
Who will win in 2018?
Well, this is where you come in, my fine feathered friend! We are running a poll to determine who will win DFO’s official vote for the 2018 pageant!
Actually, everyone can vote online at the link below:
https://missbumbumbrasil.com.br/vote-agora/
However, I was curious to see if DFO tastes match up to the Brazilian aesthetic. Therefore, we will crown our very own Miss BumBum DFO!
As is tradition, one candidate represents each Brazilian state. In the official contest, the 27 candidates are whittled down to 15 via Internet voting (see link above) that runs through October 30.
The winner is selected from the Final 15 by a panel in São Paulo at the Final Contest on November 6.
Without further ado, here are your 2018 candidates:
And now, intrepid DFOers, YOU MAKE THE CALL! Who should win Miss BumBum DFO? Have your say below.
Here are the rules for the Miss Bumbum DFO contest:
You can vote for up to five candidates at a time per IP address, so get your friends to join in.
The winner will be the candidate with the most votes at the end of the voting period.
The voting period starts at the time this post publishes, runs throughout the weekend, and ends at midnight Pacific time on Sunday night.
In case of a tie, there will be co-winners!
To get to know the contestants a little better, here is a compilation of intro videos for this year’s candidates:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ac0fONAM9E&list=PLE86T-3LQd5djmOOL8xLae-_GWR3XZ9Jw
Loading ...Poll results will be provided in a followup post and there will also be a fun surprise or two…
I will reach out through social media to the DFO winner to see if she will agree to an interview in my broken Portuguese.
Make me proud, DFO!
Btw I watched the first quarter of the Hawthorn-Richo match replay, then skipped ahead to the second half. That was a good time saver.
One hour and change until the Sydney Derby!
Someone stop me, I’m down the rabbit hole of new rap. It took Eminem 6 years to come out with a diss rap. Less than 48 hours after he dissed Machine Gun Kelly, MGK responded and it’s pretty damn good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fp0BScQSSvg
Who in the hell is this dork?
I am fully experiencing the glory that is spectrum wifi at the moment. Jesus.
Say what you will about Drake, but the dude knows how to make a music video for the youths of 2018.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRS_PpOrUZ4
Still think he’s trash, and nothing will change my opinion from Culture Shock 2009.
That’s fair. He’s not for everyone. Makes great videos that turn into memes and other things that kids like though.
He just stopped in the middle of songs completely killing his own flow, and I’m pretty sure he forgot the words to something, tempted to say someone else’s track. And IIRC he closed with “The World Is Yours.”
Dang, this just reminds me that my ducks are gone.
Two and half years I nurtured those little jerks. Male gets all killt n junk, now female has gone away.
I miss my ducks. Yes I know it’s stupid. But I miss them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1tAYmMjLdY
Look how cute they were….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwxfmYR7ItM
We criticize Joker’s new look, but, shit, turns out that’s what Generation Z is all about. This generation knows all the songs and lyrics to these weirdos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_MXGdSBbAI
Here’s a rapper Moose can get behind. It’s L’il Xan, which is short for Xanax, his drug of choice.
On a related note, what’s with the new generation of rappers getting their faces all tatted up. Just looking at them makes me feel like I’ve contracted HPV.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dL3AygsCMc
Facial tattoos tell me everything I need to know about the person who has them right at first glance. They’re real time savers.
Yeah, as much as I hate to be a judgemental asshole, I’m in full agreement.
Ease it back there a little bit you fucking buttercup.
I finally got all the rednecks outta the house, and Momz is asleep. And I’m already pretty fookin’ drunk. 4 shots of vodka and 2 Dale’s Pale Ales, inside of an hour will do that.
I have no regerts. Time to make dinner for meself, even if it is after midnight here.
I think I need to rethink my life choices now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysGtBZX32I0
Hopefully cooking with a microwave
Convection oven. It’s hot, but won’t explode if I pass out.
Acceptable.
Food is scorched, oven is successfully turned off with no fire started.
WHAT ARE YOU MY MOM?????
Nah. I just want to beat a living person in fantasy.
Hehehehe. I can respect that.
Imma drink some more now.
(you need to get Bell outta your starting, btw)
Oh it’s done. I was hoping he’d sign but it was not to be.
Btw, Ceará – LUCIANE SCHNEIDER was a close second.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0n4WB6SVBa8
Almost boarding time, I’m going to go back on PDT as soon as we take off, which means it’ll be evening and I should hit up the Hennessy Paradis
I understand that Suzy Kolber was the literal goddess we worshiped Other There, but, I don’t think I’m wrong when saying Dok has become the goddess of DFO.
You should do some drugs too. Offer to share some with the pilots and they’ll usually let you fly the airplane for a while.
Didn’t there used to be a way to skip to the comments? It’s a pain in the ass having scroll past so much ass
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDk6Zqfenhs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vb2mnDp68S0
Anybody know anything about withholding rent from a landlord? I’m fucking pissed.
RENT HIKE MEANS RENT STRIKE
There’s gonna be water balloons methinks.
DUCK BOB!!!!!
You’re the renter you have all the rights. Most of ’em anyway.
Not a lawyer, but I’m sure there is some sort of precident
In all seriousness, my understanding has always been that not paying the rent in protest of shit not getting done/fixed never turns out well. It gives landlord the upper hand legally. Not sure about California law here though, so don’t quote me.
I stand corrected….
https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/overview-landlord-tenant-laws-california.html
You gotta put it in escrow
That varies by city.
But all of you have been more helpful than anticipated, and this thread has also prompted me to contact the local renters rights group to check.
What’s the problem?
Assholes?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=um4-d7VzZiE
How do flat earthers explain time zones? Just flat out denial?
If you really want to know.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5R5CML1gAs
Smh
As a professional Geography actual professor, I’m just going to go over here and quietly drink myself to sleep.
The human race deserves the fate it gets. I’m genuinely sad I brought two incredible girls into this disasterpiece.
You think you’re better than Gleason? The logic here is flawless!
*rationalization here is idiotic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBeIUnHVG8E
This guy is either a nut job or a really great performance artist.
For a second I thought she was her
You’re dead to me.
Tough, but fair.
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2018/06/22/tgisf-solstice-schmolstice/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07P538K83iU
Yes, teenage tWBS owned this. On vinyl even.
Turns out, you’ve been a winner your whole life!
THAT’S WHAT MY MOM SAYS!!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTJkSp469xU
Jamie Sackville as a punter is criminal abuse of a football name.
OY!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDZX4ooRsWs
Not directly about asses, but it is. You know it is.
Watch out my outfit’s ridiculous
In the club lookin’ so conspicuous
And rowr! these women all on the prowl
If you hold the head steady I’m a milk the cow
Forget about the game I’m a spit the truth,
I won’t stop till I get em in dey birthday suits
So gimmie the rhythm and it’ll be off with they clothes
Then bend over to the front and touch your toes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxBSyx85Kp8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reTx5sqvVJ4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDZX4ooRsWs
RIP Kevin Ward Jr.
Eat shit and die Tony.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FShE0VifCYs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9iBgt2OmfQ
Noice!!
First Manhattan on vacation is a beautiful thing.
Watching Rocky on cable and they cut from Rocky “I want to go the distance” scene to Round 1. That’s like a quarter of the whole movie!
Are you serious? That’s like the crux of the fucking film. Jeebus.
Exec: We need to cut Rocky 3 down. Let’s get rid of Mickeys death scene.
Exec: Lincoln is too long. Let’s not have the scene with him in the telegraph room.
Exec: This Softcore Porn is too long. Get rid of the sex scenes; it slows down the story.
Report to the FCC and CC Deadspin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x9CRogsSfY
DOINK!!
-Blair Walsh
PRAISE BE TO SHAN’KOLR!
TCU wishing that they still had Kenny Hill???
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wO89_H7GqaQ
The latest release from the Zappa vaults is tremendous. A 3 or 4 night run at the Roxy in L.A. in 1973. It’s the band he used to create my favorite Zappa records playing in what he describes from the stage as “a genuine nightclub”. The track listings for each show are very similar, so there’s songs here repeated multiple times. But if you like the Zappa years where they played technically brilliant stuff punctuated by absolutely fucking roaring Zappa solos, this is must have.
Gentlemen.
Since I’m not on my home network, I don’t have access to all my channels on my phone. I don’t have MSNBC or CNN, but I do get Fox News.
Spectrum has sold out to Trump. I’d be lying if I typed that I’m surprised.
Fuck Spectrum. Assholes accost me every time I go to Walmart or Home Depot.
Them: Hi, what’s your TV and Internet provider? We could probably save you some money with better service.
Me: DirecTV and CenturyLink because you fuckers won’t run a line down my road. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!
Them: Well, let’s check your address, we’re always expanding.
Me (getting annoyed): Sure, here’s my address…..
Them: Oh, we don’t have service on your street.
Me: WHAT DID I JUST FUCKING TELL YOU??????
You’re better off.
You wouldn’t think so if you had CenturyLink internet.
As someone who had Spectrum (well it was Time Warner then), you’re better off. Hell, they’re getting banned from New York State for shitty service.
Dudes, I’ve had multiple lines retrenched over the past year or two. Every single one makes the situation worse. I’m paying for 6mbps (which is sad enough as it is) and on the best of days, I approach 1mbps. If it rains, just don’t even try.
Holy poop on a stick. Bloodeyes starting their drive inside their own 1.
BACK-TO-BACK SAFETY DUNCES IN FIVE MINUTES?!?
UPDATE: No+
The solo crazy guy doing exclusively Doors karaoke on a street corner in Santa Monica is living his best life.
The Fightin’ #CJK5Hs: 9
Bloodeyes: 0
SAFETY DUNCE ON THE JV MATCH
Is the JV footy cancelled?
They dead?
No, they’re playing right now!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNYEbohfeLI
Any hip hop night, I always come back to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D_JwgIM-y4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyYnnUcgeMc
Kelly >>>> Beyonce
I’ll fight you if you say otherwise.
At friends to see newborn baby. Child is cute. Mom and Dad look fine for not having a good nights sleep in three weeks.
remind them you can get quite a bit for a cute white baby on e-bay nowadays.
And when they react in shocked horror explain that it was only a test question, and if they had reacted any differently why they’d be in jail.
but if they pause, remind them of the standard 25% commission ,, obvs
In better loser pothead kid news, she did at least admit this was a dope motherfucking jam when this came on the SiriusXM on way home from the therapist:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsU23AEmDLs