Your “Come Down & Waste Away With Me” Saturday Evening Open Thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUKOtbVnV4M

Hello, new Commentists. I’m Beerguyrob,

I post the odd article from time-to-time, and I usually have something to do with non-gameday Open Threads. During the week I tend to keep things focused on football, although I like to throw my History degree into the mix once in a while, and sometimes I expound on things personal and/or Canadian.

Like Canadian politics.

But on Saturdays, and off-season Sundays, I generally like to post music videos, because there’s been enough crap to deal with during the week that you don’t need me going off the rails on something stupid. Plus, everyone’s here to talk about sports & post gifs, so why be a dick?

This is a long-winded way of me getting to my main point: I’m drunk as a skunk at the Foo Fighters concert in Vancouver tonight, so I typed this on Friday so it didn’t get in my way before leaving for the show.

Avoiding hassles – it’s the DFO way!


Tonight’s sports:

  • NCAA:
    • Clemson at Texas A&M – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Southeastern Louisiana at LSU – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Fresno State at Minnesota – 7:30PM | FS1
    • Penn State at Pittsburgh – 8:00PM | ABC
    • Southern California at Stanford – 8:30PM | FOX
    • California at BYU – 10:15PM | ESPN2
    • Connecticut at Boise State – 10:15Pm | ESPNU
    • Michigan State at Arizona State – 10:45PM | ESPN / TSN5
  • CFL:
    • Stampeders vs. Eskimos – 7:00PM | TSN
  • UFC:
    • UFC 228 Preliminaries: From Dallas – 8:00PM | FX / TSN2
  • MLB:
    • Cubs at Nationals – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1 / MLBN
    • Yankees at Mariners – 9:00PM | Sportsnet

I’ll be back Tuesday night. Until then, I bet you’d like to know who’s taking control of the live-game Open Threads?

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Why does Wannstadt look like he will try to put me in a new car today?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Sir; you are driving a hard bargain; I’ll have to run this past my manager.”

King Hippo

where he at now?

litre_cola

He was doing halftime for somebody.

Fronkenshteen

When I need instant dopey solace, I pull up Jiminy Glick. Come at me.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If I’m feeling really shitty, sometimes I’ll rewatch Necessary Roughness

King Hippo

“Life Without People” for me

yeah right

A shot of bourbon and some early Stones and then breakfast.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttps://78.media.tumblr.com/7feb182ab699a37d82c53fd4b8bcf39e/tumblr_inline_penck7tCHs1qinl7y_500.jpg

I was sickened but also laughed quite a bit; you’ve been warned on both accounts.

Damn libtards.

Redshirt

I’m on my phone and can’t highlight the link. Can you give me a hint?

Mr. Ayo

“Trump Boner Garage”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose is being a smartass, it’s not NSFW, but it is funny as hell. So Imma embed it.

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Doktor Zymm

That’s safe for MY work, and also she is my new hero

Redshirt

Welp, my penis is now an accessory item, I guess.

yeah right

Goddamn it TwBS!

Viva La Tabula Raza

She means her belly button, right? Nice tight fit, I reckon.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO.

yeah right

Goddamn it Moose.

Doktor Zymm

So…i have a problem watching college ball now. I’m just watching trying to figure out which one of them is gonna be killed next by the NCAA. Do you know how many kids have died of heat exhaustion in the last few years? Too damn many

Doktor Zymm

A) i’m too damn nice B) it’s usually actually pretty interesting to talk to really old guys C) despite Viagra, it’s probably a safe bet that they’re only hitting on you in spirit D) but I still don’t want a shot of tequila and E) it seems like most people over 80 are kinda racist but F) it’s really pretty entertaining to hear him talk about how a 20 year old dude at the end of the bar was hitting on him last week

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think Dok wins for “Most Interesting Night” tonight.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Dang, Aggies are pulling shit out dey ass, I’ll give ’em that.
Hope they can pull the upset.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

For your information:

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Oooof.

litre_cola

Kirk Cousins wants to trademark “You Vike that?” Oh those people will eat that shit up, until his Swiss cheese offensive line implodes and he breaks his femur.

Duchess

so week 3?

Brick Meathook

I’d like to see “getting Joe Theisman’d” replaced with “getting Kirk Cousins’d”

yeah right

Let’s hold that thought please. The O line scares the shit out of me.

Doktor Zymm

I want to hug this comment like Lenny hugs bunnies

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh shit, I clicked over to Stanford/USC. What did I miss in College Station? Fuckers actually scored?
How?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Loss #101 tonight for the Baltimore Orioles.
Keep the dream alive!!!!!

litre_cola

They are laying low and getting ready to charge.

Duchess

Hey Dok… any good pick up lines so far from the wierd art party?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Was that Corso on the sideline?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, yes it was. Nice outfit too.
/giggles

King Hippo

Paedostache can has boo-boo

theeWeeBabySeamus

aTm thinks they have a chance. That’s cute. They don’t. I hope to be proven wrong, however.
In other news, Clemson’s honky QB looks like he’ll need to score some meth after the game, win or lose.

Duchess

I hate AtM but fuck do I wish for a year where Clemson and Bama get taken down a notch or two

King Hippo

Clemson yes, Bama no. #HailSatan

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m aTm neutral, but I’d love to see them take the Tiggers down. Nobody in the ACC is gonna.

litre_cola

aTm? quick where is balls?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wherever the single mothers are?

ballsofsteelandfury

This is true.

King Hippo

lookit the paedostache on the new Troi Boiz QB!

Duchess

weirdest quote with no context:

“You guy’s want to do the thing right now? k, let me go get my sax” – Kenny G

Duchess

Peter Cetera who is in his 70’s climbs into the front seat of the car with me… looks me straight in the face and says “WAZZUP” and then spent the rest of the drive talking about the old “I shipped my pants” commercials for K-Mart

Spanky Datass

There are many many … many cicadas and toads makeing LOUD NOISES in my neighborhood tonight. And that’s just the insects and amphibians! WOCCA WOCCA!

Duchess
King Hippo

They had a new flavour of my favourite alcoholic fizzy water at the Publix. LIME! Saving that for the Stanford game.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I so wish they’d open a Publix closer to me out here in teh sticks.

Doktor Zymm

You know you can put booze in fizzy water and just add a real lime, and it’s tasty, yeah?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I made nachos tonight. They were good. They’re not anymore.
WHERE’S THE DAMNED PRILOSEC?????

Doktor Zymm

There are now a couple toddlers doing a sort of dance with balloons to a slow song. This is a weird party y’all

Duchess

this is about to become a reddit r/conspiracy spirit cooking leftcoast elite satanist post soon

Spanky Datass

Aggie punterman gonna be wearing ’12’ next week.

Duchess

a shit ton of “I could have played college ball” bros are in the stands waiting for thier chance

Duchess

One time this lady was in the van with the band and she was feeling goofy, I guess, crossed over put her hand on my leg and laid hard down on the horn scaring people in front of us… I thought who the fuck does this woman think she is… turns out it was Shiela E

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Milan: a piece of crap they hawk to tourists because ITALY

litre_cola

Most unenjoyable city that I visited in Italy.

Horatio Cornblower

/starts yelling about New Haven pizza, because I’m from CT and we have absolutely nothing else

King Hippo

youse on the Smurf Turf tonite! Got any trash talk?

Doktor Zymm

Rancid clams?

Doktor Zymm

Actually a couple of my very good friends just moved there and I’m visiting them in Oct

Doktor Zymm

I’ve been ruined by good cheese, I’m not even tempted by the pile of free, subpar cheese cubes

Duchess

Madam that’s an art installation, not the hors d’oeuvre’s table

Doktor Zymm

I aspire to getting kicked out of a place for eating the art

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So is Hippo.

King Hippo

/stomach gurgles uncomfortably

goddamnit, ah had gin last night

Doktor Zymm

I think beardy dude with the highwater jeans and the Holyfield Tyson cap is the artist who the party is for maybe? Is boxing hipster now? That doesn’t seem right

King Hippo

is he rugby-ish enough that we should ask what he thinks of Ryan Kerrigan as a pass rusher?

Doktor Zymm

Not even close 🙁

I suspect he’s one of those people who makes ‘sportsball’ comments on twitter during the Superb Owl

King Hippo

sad Hippo

Doktor Zymm

Generic LA party hip hop is pretty good

Spanky Datass

Noice punt Aggie. How many yards was it again?

Spanky Datass

69.

Duchess

So I have spent the summer with a summer gig where I was driving cars for a local music venue had a few interesting interactions with driving the talent. Nothing too scandalous just a few funny stories.

Duchess

a. Most back up bands hates the guy they are performing with most gets treated like crap. I.E. cheap hotels while the “star” gets the Ritz.
1. Except for Barry Manilow, his band absolutely adores him.
b. Canadians don’t like air conditioning even in swamp ass summer weather that Northern Virginia is having this year.
c. Roger Daughtry can’t remember if he first met a female minister in this general area back in the 60’s because she jumped out of a cake wearing a Nazi Uniform for Kieth Moon or if she was dressed as Uncle Sam for a cake for Led Zepplin.
d. got a trademarked “oh my” from George Taki as I told him that the big full moon was actually a blood moon earlier that night.

King Hippo

that George Takai thing would be awesome

Duchess

that was the best drive of the summer it was short and Georges husband old-school handshake tipped me $20

Doktor Zymm

That’s pretty awesome

Doktor Zymm

Fun fact: the FB people who work with him call him Uncle George

Horatio Cornblower

I’m gonna need a lot more detail on the Roger Daughtry story.

Duchess

He and his wife were like old couple bickering about how they knew this woman from the backstage party. She said she started “dating” Pete for a while after jumping out of a cake dressed as an SS officer with Whips for Kieths Moon birthday.

He claimed that never happened but she may have been the girl who jumped out of the cake for Led Zepplin.

Then he asked his wife what she was up to nowadays and she said “oh she’s a minister now in DC”

Doktor Zymm

Damn, is there ever NOT a party at this hotel?

King Hippo

crash that mofo

Duchess

Wedding? or is it an Association “Gala”

Doktor Zymm

I think it’s maybe an art thing? Because there’s a big canvas by the DJ…
Last time I was here was july 4th, and I was gonna go visit YeahRight, but walked right into a big pool party when I checked in

King Hippo

Charlie Brown kicking the football update – Kentucky leads 7-nil in The Swamp.

WCS

10-9 UF final

book it, GAMBLOR

King Hippo

31 in a row, since KY’s only series win – the only good thing for which Tim Couch is remembered. I remember at least 2 of recent vintage that were jaw-dropping in their Charlie Brown-ness.

Ian Scott McCormick

I turned on college football and the first thing I see is a player get an unnecessary roughness flag for shoving a guy who was about three yards from actually going out of bounds. And the FOX broadcasters tried to justify it as anything other than total bullshit. You would have thought Kavanaugh threw the flag.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You would have thought Kavanaugh threw the flag.

That was fucking funny.

Doktor Zymm

The great thing about having a wardrobe that can mostly double for PJs, when you add in actual PJ pants they totally match

King Hippo

men and women should have some sort of summit, and agree to walk around in comfy PJ-ish clothes all the time. It would be revolutionary.

Doktor Zymm

Okay. Pants. Shirt, shoes (or no service). To the bar!

Duchess

Those rules only apply to guys… When a lady walks in with no shirt and no pants she drinks for free

Duchess

Hello My Name is Duchess and I am a DFOer… its been 45 days since my last comment

yeah right

HI DUCHESS.

litre_cola

Welcome back, and how have you sinned?

Duchess

a little bit of circle 2 a whole lot of circle 3 and a dash of circle 8

WCS

WE HAVE TOUCHED DOWN IN ¡EL ASSICO!

King Hippo

oh, the Iowa shitshow I previewed ahead of the CO/NE barnburner?

King Hippo

everyone is caffeinating for Herm late night, yes?

litre_cola

Would love to but work at 6 am tomorrow so I can be off for FOOTBAW.

King Hippo

lucky, you can prolly score some Gameday! blow from the kitchen, too

WCS

I see ¡El Assico! is living up to the hype.

How’s it going?

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Sober me was awesome to stoner me today at a small town market.
Jerky
Cheese curds
Sausages
Stroopwaffels
Pierogis.

And veggies of course but if I had some Malort I could be a Bears fan.

Doktor Zymm

The good stroopwaffels I assume? It’s just sad making that bad stroopwaffels exist

litre_cola

Yes, he had a press there. I am a glutton this evening as I am minding my spawn. He will eat anything.

King Hippo

not with the veggies you couldn’t

Doktor Zymm

It’s okay if they’re garnish for a bloody mary

Doktor Zymm

Feta marinated in olive oil with garlic, thyme and whole peppercorns is one of the best things in the world

yeah right

My nephew is the new DB coach at Reedley College here in California. Actually he’s more Central California. His team just beat Yuba City 44-20 and the team is now 2-0. This is a life long dream of his to be a coach and holy shit, he’s doing it.

Go Reedley Tigers!

Doktor Zymm

Congrats! From what I’ve read, coaching is a hard road, but very satisfying. Best of luck to him 🙂

King Hippo

indeed, we are all a little combination of “good for him” and envious! Because we’d be awesome at it, we just know it!

yeah right

He’s such a good dude too. Decorated Iraqi war veteran. 2 tours in 1st armored Cavalry and experienced way too much of the war. He played safety in high school so it’s right up his alley.

King Hippo

now I feel even better for him!

King Hippo

Converting a 3rd and 13 from the red zone, with a goddamned bubble screen? This ends my viewing of Pretend Texas Army Men/Team Jeebus Camp.

Doktor Zymm

is it worth putting on pants to go get a drink? I’m currently some combination of jetlagged and drunk and I had a lot of cheese for what was possibly breakfast so I don’t need to get more food today

King Hippo

hmmph, you even has to ask. Go yell at a neighbor boy to fetch you some.

Doktor Zymm

That reminds me, I should make some attempt to meet some of my (not really very new anymore) neighbors 😛

King Hippo

I live in a townhouse community, and still have no idea who any of my neighbour folk are. Been here…maybe almost 4 years now?

Doktor Zymm

I know the people who live above me have kids, and those kids are not crippled cause they have goddamn stomping races and way too much energy

King Hippo

not crippled yet 😀

yeah right

Depends, do you have alcohol at home? Sometimes that’s easier.

Doktor Zymm

I’m at the Aloft near you actually, so it would be a matter of going down to the bar in the lobby. Fly back home tomorrow, via Vancouver

yeah right

I love hotel bars so that would be an easy choice.

Doktor Zymm

That is the way I’m leaning, it also has the advantage of making sure I don’t fall asleep for another hour or two

King Hippo

I think I’d cheer for Notre Dame against Clemson now. Deffo would tOSU.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Jobs in the service sector.

King Hippo

HAI new thread ppls!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

2/10, did NAWT provide choice of jelly or syrup

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

horsepower is horsepower ,, ppl forget that

#EngineerRespek

yeah right

Also also don’t forget to sign up for our official DFO suicide league. Go to ESPN Eliminator Challenge. Group name is DFO Crack Suicide Squad. Make a pick for one team to win each week but you can only use each team once.

Come play with us Danny! We can play forever and ever and…

Senor Weaselo

Do I get to ride a big wheel?

yeah right

Down carpeted hallways!

ballsofsteelandfury

Don’t forget to vote for Miss Bumbum DFO!!

https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2018/09/07/balls-poll-test-post/

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How dare you ass me to do something?

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