Closing Out JV NFL September 2018

As the universe likes to do, the schedule is at its most interesante when my shitty wolves are playing.  SIGH.

Syracuse at Clemson (Noon, ABC)

Laugh all you want, but Cuse is the kind of physical side that gives the Tiggers fits.  Surely will at least bit the yuuuuuuuge 25.5-point spread (fingers crossed).

West By God Virginia at Texas Tech (Noon, ESPN2)

No game today will be more casually fun to watch than this likely 70-something to 50-something Cousinfucker win.  I just don’t expect Guns Up!! to be able to hold serve against a true Top 5-10 calibre opponent, especially as a non-huge underdog (they relish said role).

Virginia at NC State (12:20, ACCN)

This matchup really deserves better than shitty noon regionalized coverage, but such is life.  UVA is very much a wolven bogey side, and I expect them to play their part accordingly today.

Texas at Kansas State (3:30, FS1)

This is a bad, bad window, and I moneyline bet the Unded Bill Snyders to make this match interesting, at least.  Texas looks like they’ve turned the corner, which is always the right time to bet against ’em.

Michigan at Northwestern (4:30, Fox)

Noted because I have an upset vibe, which would be rather glorious.  Otherwise, stay far, far away.

Florida at Mississippi State (6:00, ESPN)

Watch a bunch of fat rednecks boo Dan Mullen!

Virginia Tech at Duke (7:00, ESPN2)

We are used to VPI being an interesting road dog in this matchup.  Just not in footbaw.

Ohio State at Penn State (7:30, ABC)

That whole “2 dictators/serial killers, 1 bullet” trope, in JV NFL form.  I don’t expect to watch much, if any.  Unless there’s a Chernobyl event.

Stanford at Notre Dame (7:30, NBC)

Realistically, the Trees are the last chance we have to keep the goddamned Irish out of the playoffs.  Don’t be an asshole, David Shaw.

BYU at Washington (8:30, Fox)

The third prime-time offering may be less blockbuster-y, but I think the Stormon Mormons could give U-Dub fits.

Oregon at Cal (10:30, FS1)

I have no clue if either of these sides if even halfway decent, but a tweaker’s gotta tweak, amirite?  It has that general vibe of PAC Twaaaaalllvvvve entertainment about it.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Basket!

Wakezilla

Cody Fajardo is in for the LioUns. That’s a shame because that just means he’ll be taking a knee. SMH

Wakezilla

Touchdown LioUns! They are now only trailing by 30, late in the 4th. Time to put on the rally caps!

Spanky Datass

Welp. I’ve had a nagging little headache all day. I’ve done all the right things hot shower, hydrated, ate a sensible/healthy lunch and it won’t go away. So, fuck it, Bourble do your best!
/pours deep

herodotus450

All out of Head-on ™ ?

Wakezilla

Don’t forget to crank one. That helps too

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Todays games have been so boring I had more fun cleaning.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

IT’S A SIDEWINDER!!

herodotus450

Scott Frosty trying to go from undefeated to winless in one year.

litre_cola

Successful mission to pub with Decilitre. Didnt make a peep for an hour and a half he just people watched while dad had 3 real pints.

Anyone sick of places that serve pints that aren’t 20 oz? I knoe it drives me nuts when I order a lint and some sleeve looking thing comes at me.

I will now go shake my fists at clouds.

Wakezilla

Seriously, it’s bullshit

Senor Weaselo

Wait, Canadian pints are 20 oz? Sign me the fuck up!

Wakezilla

Oh yeah, the LioUns are playing the Ti-Cats now. Let’s go check in on the sco–oh no.

I haven’t seen LioUns get slaughtered like this since I recently read that they’ve become an endangered species

Spanky Datass

The DFO pool shows BC has won 35 – 32. What the fuck? My ‘live’ stream says the game is at the end of the 3rd and HAM has the game in hand.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s really weird.

Wakezilla

BC won last week. They’re having a rematch and when I made that comment, Hamilton was up by 30.

It’s now 40-3

Spanky Datass

Yep. I’m streamn’ it. Kinda figured that score was from a prevoius game. Strange though.

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t know about y’all, but i’m still basking in the afterglow of last night’s Grand Final. Man, that was a great game!

Wakezilla

Yeah, that 4th period was something. Great catches and both teams couldn’t miss

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’d be happier if Miranda Kerr would answer my calls.
But yes, helluva match.

Spanky Datass

Twas a good match. I drank early, often and WAY past my bedtime. Oof…

herodotus450

Norfwestern trying to make our dreams come true

Wakezilla

Potential Holy shit news regarding Cristiano Ronaldo:

“Der Spiegel reported that the Portuguese superstar allegedly raped a US woman in 2009 and paid her $375,000 to remain quiet. Ronaldo’s lawyers deny the allegation and have threated to take legal action against the German publication”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Read the story – it’s nuts.

herodotus450

Well at least Purdue might beat Nebraska?
[Looks at noose in the corner]

ballsofsteelandfury

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ballsofsteelandfury

Pictured: UCLA football.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Best faceplant ever.

(get it? Face. Plant.)

herodotus450

Trent Green’s favorite type of porn.

Spanky Datass

White-Hat Ref in Norman has some Hochuli-esque guns going on.
/flexes

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dude.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I hope you plan to take VT +6.0.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good man.

scotchnaut

Supper is coleslaw and beets because I didn’t go for a hike. This Self-Hatred Diet? I don’t really like it so far…

Spanky Datass

Mine is gonna be chicken caesar salad featuring homemade dressing. Anchovies and raw egg yolks!

herodotus450

What a harsh penalty for this OU starting qb, he had to sit out an entire 3 and out series.

JustStopDude

Fucking Texas Tech…

Mr. Ayo

They just saved your thumbs! Hooray!

Redshirt

Why in the hell are you rushing the field? You’re team got bailed out from choking only because the Syracuse never heard of a 4-6 or 4-4 defense or rush blitzing. Hell even going to a 3-4 defense would be better.

JustStopDude
Senor Weaselo

I am not a trained professional but WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?

Senor Weaselo

Also it’s Syracuse.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Seems this shit happens in college a lot, underdog gets a good lead and then chokes it away. Same shit happens every week. Guess that’s why the favored team is favored.

JustStopDude

Texas Tech brings back to within one score.

Mr. Ayo

HAIL GAMBLOR!

Redshirt

Syracuse is yet another fatality in autoerotic asphyxiation.